Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Janey Pants On The Move

Abbey looked at Janey the other day and said, "Mom, she's gotten so much older looking all of a sudden!"  It does seem like that.  She's grown a little more hair, she's been sitting up so well on her own, and starting to get on all fours.  She can definitely get herself around a room.  She has six teeth! 

Sometimes she looks like a little doll to me, with her blonde hair and big blue eyes and dimples.  

She has such a quiet, happy personality, and is just a big bundle of joy for our household.

Babies are such a gift from God and I'm so so thankful for each one of mine.  




Lately, I've had a few questions about baby sleep issues in my email inbox.  Here's what I do:

Never let my babies cry.  I have strong feelings about crying babies, as in: they should have their mommy's comfort to make them stop asap.
Sleep with them at night...they've always woke up, some more than others, to nurse through the first year.
During the day, for naps, they slept in a crib.
Try to be as consistent as possible about when/where/how I get them to sleep-the more consistent the easier my life is, and theirs too, and the better they will sleep.
Use white noise (a fan) to block out all the household sounds.
Rock and/or nurse them to sleep. (For some nursing to sleep would work, others I have to make sure they get the burps out or they'd wake up right after I'd put them down. Each of my babies had their own little schedule and sleep needs....it's part of their personalities...)
Remember that babies wake more when they have some new achievement on the horizon.  It's exciting and their brains are excited for them.  
Stop caring if I'm doing this "right" or "wrong", stopped trying to find the magic answer in a book written by some male pediatrician who probably never woke up once with a baby anyways, or had their brain rattle with hormones when their baby cried, or being envious of parents who bragged about their babies sleeping 15 hours through the night and taking two 3 hour naps because I don't believe that happens anyways or even should happen anyways.  

Sometimes it is hard.
Babies are not always easy.
Often I am tired.
I am used to being tired.
That's what under-eye cover up and chocolate is for.
Life is short.
Babies grow fast.
One day they will be teenagers who sleep more hours than they are awake.

46 comments :

  1. Love the advice. I slept all my babies and I think that was perfect for us. Actually all my kids slept with me on and off until they were about 5. They are little for such a short time!

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  2. "Stop caring if I'm doing this "right" or "wrong"" - THIS. A million times this. About everything parenting related. Maybe even everything life related.

    Janey is so lovely - she absolutely looks like a doll in that last picture!

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  3. My parenting philosophy is almost identical. (Minus the co-sleeping). But I agree...babies need their mommies. It's our job.

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  4. I agree with you 100%. I spent so much time with my first baby worrying about doing things "right" or "wrong"...i relaxed a bit with #2, and you can bet by #5 there was no more guilt. Babies need their mommies...agreed!

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  5. Janey is TOO cute Sarah! What a doll! You know - I personally could not sleep with my babies - just didn't work for me. And I had great success with a little crying it out at bedtime once they were a bit older (only lasted a few days and then my babies became great sleepers). But I agree 100% that you need to stop caring if you are doing things right or wrong. Every baby is different and every mother is different. All moms need to figure out is what works best for them. Such good advice Sarah! As always!

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  6. She is gorgeous! Love her dimples.

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  7. I think I am finally figuring this all out on baby #3. I invested in a co-sleeper bassinet, and honestly worth it's weight in gold. Baby is right next to me, but in her own little nest so that I can actually get some sleep myself. First two babies were in my bed most of the first year, and on and off through 2nd and 3rd year, even. And I never slept well, and it affected my ability to mother. But I couldn't banish them to a crib to cry it out. third time was the lucky charm. Co-sleeper bassinet let's me sleep, but baby is in my reach so I can resettle her, nurse her, everything as needed. Happy momma, happy baby, happy family. Whenever asked for mothering advice I say, "DO what works best for you and your family."

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  8. You're brilliant, girl. I couldn't agree more with all your advice there.

    Mary, momma to 10, all of whom slept all night eventually

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  9. Your little Janey is beautiful! I also couldn't sleep with my babies and I did sleep train when they got close to 1, my sanity literally couldn't handle it any more. I didn't let them scream it out. But I did let them fuss for a bit and then I would go in and comfort them and then do it again a couple of times. Usually by night 3 they were sleeping through the night. I also loved "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child" as it helped me understand the importance of sleep for a baby's development and it didnt make me feel bad if I let them fuss for 5 minutes to put themselves to sleep. Every baby is different as is every Mom, do what works for your family!

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  10. You are such a blessing to me. Thank you for this post.

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  11. I so agree! By sleep with: do you mean in your bed or in your room?

    my 15 month old has been waking many many times throughout the night his entire life, but i can not leave him to cry alone. Much as i know many have success with this method, my body/brain/heart will not let me.

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  12. I've never commented on your blog (or anyone else's ) , but I just had to let you know how much I love it! You just "get it" . I love all you parenting advice and your love for your children is so apparent. I have a son just about a week younger than Janey and had a very similar pregnancy (totally worth it in the end). There is a pretty big space between him and my other children and boy am I trying to savor every moment. I realize how quickly it goes by! You are so right, babies are such an amazing gift from God. Being an "older" parent this time around, I realize that so much more. Thanks for such a positive & encouraging & real blog!

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  13. What a beauuuuuuutifl baby, and what fabulous photos! Thanks for sharing, and I love the advice!

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  14. She is so cute! I agree, I just can't have a baby cry. I always picked my girls up and offered comfort. Worked every time.

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  15. I'm glad new moms have the benefit of your blog to guide them :) When I was a new mom I thought I was doing something wrong by never wanting my baby to cry, and to co-sleep. My relatives all thought I was crazy. My husband soon came to learn (thankfully) that the baby's cry affected me far differently than it did him.

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  16. She is so beautiful Sarah! She reminds me of your cutey Patrick with those big blue eyes! :)

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  17. Oh that last photo is absolutely perfect. She is such a doll. I have to agree with the other comments, I think she looks exactly like Patrick and he's adorable too.

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  18. loved this, sarah! but i think you know how similar our feelings on these things are. and that janey - such a sweetheart!

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  19. Janey is adorable! After letting your children sleep with you, how do you get them out of your room? We let our last baby sleep in our bed until he was 5. He is now 5.5 and sleeping on a mattress on our floor. He refuses to sleep in his room.

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  20. She's so pretty, Sarah! I laughed at your description of babies being excited at new milestones on the horizon. I recently likened it to jumping ocean waves at the beach all day and then laying down to sleep at night still feeling the waves.

    She learned to sit up so ... she sits up repeatedly in her sleep ... can't help it, can't stop :)

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  21. Amen!
    It is not all about me.
    It was never supposed to be.
    :)))))

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  22. I never let my babies cry either.
    The toddler still comes into bed during the night.
    because we both have teens...we get that these babies grow up and out so fast.

    yes...she is a dolly.

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  23. Janey is so beautiful and those dimples...oh my goodness--melt my heart!! Love your comment about the "male pediatrician"...so true--ours always seems to have so much "mothering" advice when I go in, which is sweet, but I seriously question how many times he was up in the middle of the night with his crying babies when they were little. :-)

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  24. Oh that little Janey is such a cutie! She makes me smile every time. :)

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  25. I wish more mums would forgive themselves and just do what they think is best. God gave us mothering instincts for a reason. God bless her, what a happy, beautiful girl!

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  26. Great advice! I spent too much of my first baby's year worrying about whether I was doing it right and comparing her sleep with others. With baby #2 on the way, I plan to relax and not worry about those who claim to have miracle sleepers.

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  27. She does look like a living doll! So sweet! My daughter slept with us (much to my mother's dismay) and we nursed and rocked her all the time (much to my step mother in law's dismay). I miss that time so much! Thanks for sharing Janey with us all!

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  28. I read so many books the first time around it was crazy! Great advise. With my last one I stopped worrying about it all and did what I needed to do to get as much sleep as possible.

    Janey IS a doll!!

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  29. One more thing...I've ALWAYS used a fan. Not only for the baby, but so the older kids don't wake with the crying. Works GREAT!!

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  30. Oh Sarah, she is so beautiful. She does look a lot like Patrick's baby pictures to me, although far more feminine of course! Thank you for always helping me with sleep questions and for sharing your heart with all of us mamas.

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  31. I love hearing about Janey. Her little soul sister, Lily, seems to doing exactly what you write about! In fact, Mindy now reads your blog and is doing the 40 bags in 40 days...not for lent of course. But you guys are so similar.
    I look at babies and think how badly I would love another. I just wonder can I really do it? I felt like I barely survived Caroline's first year. One thing is for sure...I think about it every. day. Is that normal? ;)

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    1. Valerie you can do it! Your abilities increase I promise and your anxiety about doing everything "right" really lessens with more children because you realize there are MANY ways to do it right! Giving your child a sibling is about the best gift you can give them I do believe!

      Cheryl (mother of 5)

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    2. I agree with Cheryl...you can do it. It isn't easy, but you know that by now and that's why you are probably second guessing yourself. :)

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  32. Love, love, love this post, Sarah! Your sleep advice is so lovely. I had never intended to have my precious babies sleep with me or to nurse them as long as I did, but my dear sweet husband convinced me that we should follow our hearts, and not the advice of others, in parenting our children. And so, with a lot of prayer, that's just what we did. I don't regret one moment of the time I invested into my four children and there are days I miss them curled up in bed next to us. If you really want a male pediatrician's advice, I love Dr. William Sears books. He and his R.N. wife, Martha, have such a wonderful outlook on parenting.

    Janey looks adorable! Thank you for your wonderful blog.

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  33. Love the last sentence! But by then we will want them not to sleep so much ;)
    Sara

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  34. Janey does look like a doll! Crawling in a dress must be awkward though!!

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    1. Not crawling yet...a couple more weeks maybe? And then we'll do the tuck the dress into the leggings/pants method.

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  35. I love that you know who you are and what you want and you do it! I was/am a "Babywise" mom. I also read Erin's blog at www.thesunnysideupblog.com and took her advice. She explains things so well! The crying really only last for a few nights and then you have a little one sleeping 10- 14 hours a night and taking 2-3 hour naps. I am not trying to convince you to do otherwise, but for people like me who "read the comments" know that "Babywising" your babies really does work - if you can handle a few rough nights! It surely isn't for everyone! All of my friends who do it have the best sleepers around! And good sleepers tend to be very Happy Babies!

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    1. Hi Rhonda...I love Erin too! There are parts of Babywise that are logical and good, and others that I will never support. (Those probably aren't the ones that you are talking about--really strict eating/sleeping schedule vs. being in tune with what your baby needs etc..I know that book has been dismissed by the American Pediatric Association for causing failure to thrive infants/babies if done "by the book"...or maybe without using common sense.) It does work for some babies but not for others. Some babies cry/fuss for a little and learn to sleep on their own, but some cry for hours and it doesn't get better and that just turns into neglect at that point. It doesn't address teething, sickness, colic (which two of my babies had). I know my breastfed babies wouldn't have been getting enough food if they had slept 10-14 hours at night without waking to eat. I remember once hearing a mom at a park talk about that book and how awesome it was--her baby was so thin, and didn't look at all healthy to me, and had red rimmed eyes from crying it seemed. It broke my heart. It's funny how different our experiences/impressions can be.

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  36. Love this post! Thank you! Still sleeping with my 16 month old and nursing him throughout the night because I can't listen to him scream. I know he will sleep eventually!

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  37. Sarah, I think we are "kindred spirits". I absolutely love your philosophy on mothering. As a relatively new mom (I have one daughter who just turned one year old), I am so thankfulto have a wise veteran mom to look up to. The fact that you are able to parent 6 different children by following your instincts, and following your children reaffirms to me that that style of parenting is wonderful for all different types of babies, including my own.
    Another wise woman once said, "read the parenting book your baby wrote". In other words, follow your baby! I love that what you said is so similar!

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  38. So good to read this. I view sleep with babies much the same way and I am surrounded by people who often advise me to let my babies cry it out because they don't sleep through the night after a few months. I am on my fifth baby, I have always slept with them. They have all slept through the night by a year. The first year is a bit tiring but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

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  39. That is really the best list of baby advice I have seen so far - so true, every last bit of it! Thank you for writing it down, I hope you don't mind me forwarding this to every single parent (-to-be) I know!

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  40. Love your blog! I am also co sleeping with my baby girl Emilia (born Aug 20 - the same week as Janey!) and I was wondering then how you transitioned your babies into the crib at night when they were ready? Emme will sleep well in her crib for naps, and we put her to bed in her crib around 7:30 but by 10 she has been up a few times and I just go to bed with her then. What is your bedtime routine?
    Thanks!

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