Clover Lane

As school is drawing to a close, I thought I'd share some summer ideas we use or have used in the past to keep some sense of order. 

We have a "Summer Bucket List",  just simple things like going to the zoo, and visiting the Dum-Dum factory, and taking a long bike ride on a new bike path.

Patrick and Janey BOTH need to practice school work every day-Patrick loses math facts quickly I've found, and Janey is bursting into reading so I need to keep that going.  I've used Summer Bridge in the past, but this year I have so many fun workbooks around the house.  I already made a visit by myself to the library to pick out books for them both, which is sometimes easier for me-I can concentrate and give them new ideas.  (As in less sports biographies, which are fine, but maybe some inventors, etc.)

A few morning summer camps thrown into all that-maybe I'll regret or not, I always just try to guess that year if those activities will be beneficial for summer boredom, or more than they are worth in driving, and sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don't.

We also are doing a very simple job list-like water outdoor plants for Patrick, and straighten up garage for Janey.

Andrew is taking a hard class at school, and unfortunately hasn't found a lifeguard job as he's not sixteen yet, but has his certificate all ready to go.  He is going to do a bunch of painting jobs for me outside.  Matt is busy working landscaping all day, and the older two are working in other cities, as they've flown the nest.  Lots of home visits planned for them which is always the best.  We also have a Beilein family reunion planned which is something we all so look forward to and Jeff and I will plan a vacation for ourselves at the end of summer, which I will need by then for sure. 

My summer goal?  A book a week.  And a daily walk, and a new routine of journal writing morning and evening.  I just attended the greatest little three hour retreat and it was so good for me.  The theme was Reflect, Renew, Reignite.  Why is it so difficult to me to remember to keep focused on my life goals, and to do that by daily reflection and inspiration to lead me to that direction?  My mother does it every day of her life.  What the heck?  It's more than buying a cute notebook which I must admit is one of the highlights of my week.  I found some at the grocery store (darn school supply section gets me every time) and bought every pattern because I couldn't choose one, so now I better be consistent and fill those suckers up.

I wish I could go back in time, because what a difference this daily journaling and reflection and gratitude list would make in every facet of my life.  No matter how busy you think you are, you must remind yourself every day who you want to be and how you want to spend your time.  It's so important!  Take my advice and there is nothing that will make your life fuller, better, in every way than this habit and I really want to finally be consistent with it.

The retreat leader had mounds of all these little books-she filled them with quotes, Bible verses and then had some where she, every night, would reflect back on her day and look at the interactions she had.  She'd write them down briefly-a brief list summary of the day-and then would put a smiley face or frowny face next to each one, depending on what brought her closer to God, or farther away.  She said then she could she patterns of what she felt she needed to work on-whether it was snappiness, or too much worry, or whatever she was struggling with in that time of her life.  BUT she also celebrated all the things she did holy and "right". 

Anyways, three more days of school and we are FREE!  No more packing lunches!  (I know we moms all feel the same-what is it about packing lunches???)

Childhood of Famous Americans-another favorite around here:

It's funny how at a certain point in time along the mothering journey, one just accepts the way they are and finds what works for them.  No comparisons, or panic, or feeling left behind or out of the loop.  It took me years to get there, and lots of experimentation and failure and acceptance of who I am and what works for my family.  I know right now there are lots of moms looking on Pinterest for elaborate job charts and summer bucket lists and what have you. (Ugh, that Pinterest-love/hate.)  To do or not to do summer camps/library clubs/nothing/tech turn-offs/family trips/play-dates/no play-dates etc.  So many choices we have to filter through!

We moms, as our children age, have to be fluid and flexible.  But we MUST be kind to ourselves-sometimes, even often, we must do what works to keep us calm and settled and not burned-out by July 15th.


1. Be aware of babies and toddlers schedules and do not feel guilty keeping those schedules.  Some babies and toddlers are very flexible and snap back easily from disruption, and others MUST have that nap every day at exactly this or that time.  Some toddlers (kids!) can withstand a late bedtime, some can't.  I have one child who wakes up at the crack of dawn every day, I swear he would if he went to bed even at 3 a.m.  He can't "catch up" on his sleep.  It's ok to plan days around this and keep a tight schedule even though it's summer.

2. Chores.  There are so many elaborate systems of allowances and chores.  Elaborate and overwhelming and maybe they work for some people, but try as I might, they did not for me.  They just created one more thing to keep track of, to remember, to argue about with kids.  I don't pay for anything but cutting the lawn, and every day I write on a piece of notebook paper a few simple jobs. My mom did this for all of us my whole childhood.  We woke up, ate breakfast, did jobs and then were free to run.  No stickers or rewards or financials.

3. Technology. It's easier for me to just turn it all off.  Yes, there can be a withdrawal from TV.  (The littler kids don't have other tech, the older kids are busy enough with work (this is the key to teens in the summer!).  I have put up reminders on the TV about not turning it on, or asking first.  Once they hear no enough, they give up, we just have to be strong and outlast.  That doesn't mean on a rainy day I just might say yes to a movie, or a favorite show or sporting event, that just means I've learned I don't want it used as a constant fall back to boredom or the way we start our day out.

4. Play dates with little ones were hard and unnecessary unless there are neighborhood-no-drive playing. This gets so much easier when they are older-before that siblings are enough.  Also playdates are supposed to make my life easier because the friend is really easy, respectful, resourceful and not hyper so I choose carefully.


I do know it's hard to keep little ones home and older ones busy.  This is where Lego projects or elaborate craft projects or books or some sort of "goal" or fun fall back activity comes in for us when those "but I'm so bored" comments start. (My kids and the neighbor kids built an entire dog house out of wood scraps last summer!)  It is worth it's weight in gold to invest in anything like this.

5. Food and laundry=priorities.  Food prep (simple meals) and a plan for dinner and a load or two of laundry every day.


6. Low expectations. No cute bucket lists for me.  I tried one year and it felt like another to-do list.  I refuse to be held accountable for anything we didn't do, which might just be nothing, who knows? But for me, it's so much better to throw a surprise in than feel like we all disappointed ourselves.

7. Routine.  Setting a lose routine for summer days help enormously.  Ours is up, breakfast, whatever school work I've assigned (which is another post and very simple things like a page of a Summer Bridge, or whatever we've decided together for the summer, and then jobs).  I try to plan week by week what is going on and where we need to be when, if we go anywhere.

7. Self care.  Summer is full throttle for me and long long days.  Some summers were full on survival mode for me and they were hard!  What would have helped?  A little exercise, a healthier eating plan, even hiring someone to clean or just feeling less guilty about take-out.  Creating some way to feel a little more control of days where schedules changed constantly especially with teens and I felt like I was caught in the storm instead of the EYE of the storm where everything swirled around me and I remained still.  I needed to set more boundaries all the way around. To do that, we have to have time to exercise or meditate, or sit by ourselves, or read, or get up really early to get a hard start and a plan-anything.  Even a teeny tiny bit helps.  It also helps to write this reminder and hang it inside my bathroom cabinet so I don't get so caught up that I forget the essentials.

And sometimes we just have to know and accept that we are in a hard stage and it will get better.
The recognition that mothering, especially a large family, or new baby, takes a lot of energy, and brain space,and can be stressful, is so important.  Taking non-swimmers to the pool is stressful-we are "on" 100% of the time. Going from 6 a.m.-11 p.m. (or later) is stressful.  Doing it yourself with no outside help is stressful. Going on a family vacation can be stressful. The goal is to make it as non-stressful as possible depending on OUR own stress meter, no one else's.

It is up to us to learn about ourselves and our children and set the way we want our days and weeks to look accordingly.


I say probably once a day "I love summer!", and I really mean it.  I am so grateful I get to be home and not in a yucky office,  I love what summer means to me-ice cream and pools, and books and green grass and easy meals and bike rides and more ice cream.  I have the fondest memories of my summers growing up and we seriously did "nothing" but play every day with neighbors, and ride bikes on our gravel road and swim wherever we could find a pool and drink from the faucet and eat tons of hotdogs and corn on the cob and read so many library books for three months straight.  It was the best ever.