Sunshine On My Shoulders

I took down my kitchen window treatments to allow the blinding sun to shine right into my eyeballs every afternoon and evening (well every afternoon and evening the sun actually shines) and boy does it feel good.  It almost blinds me and can be a tad annoying but I love it.  February can be a long month for moms of boys and moms who don't really like cold weather and moms who really really need sunlight and moms who think they'd be much better off living in sunny Arizona or California. ____________________________________________
Don't forget you have a chance to create and enter your own recipe into Chef Boyardee's Make It Boyardeelicious Recipe Contest ending March 11, 2011.

One Week From Now: 40 Bags, 40 Days

Oooh, I've been waiting for this...on Ash Wednesday, one week from today, I'll be starting my 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge.

The gist of it:  During Lent (40 days) rid your house of 40 bags of stuff...things you don't love, don't use, junk, accumulated stuff, clutter, garbage.

Of course you can do the 40 bag thing ANY time.  Why Lent?  To me, Lent is a time of prayer, renewal, self-reflection, sacrifice, self-control, repentance and almsgiving.  It does seem silly to me to somehow try to link a good old home decluttering with something as deeply spiritual as the Lenten season, but the first time I did 40 bags/40 days it was much more meaningful to me than just getting rid of junk.  I thought long and hard about how much we really needed vs. how much we had, I became more aware of how we spent our time and money, I had the chance to feel the rewards of charity (and so did my children) giving away to those in need some of the things we took for granted.  It was a physical cleansing of the space we were all growing together in, as a family, but it also freed up space in my heart and mind for awareness and purpose-I didn't want my house buried under "stuff" and I didn't want my heart and mind buried under "stuff" either-and I learned that often the physical reflects the spiritual and vice versa.

It sounds overwhelming but it's not, I promise.  It's a slow process and almost miraculously, the spiritual part of the practice will unfold naturally as you begin the physical work.

The photo above is my notebook list of each area I'm going to tackle each day.  I don't include weekends.  I divided my entire house into 30 or so areas, leaving enough days for the larger ones.  Last year I ended up getting ahead of myself which was nice, because I could take a break for some days.  I went through each area very thoroughly, and did some spring cleaning while I de-cluttered.  I threw the bags of things I didn't want anymore right into the back of my van, and would make a weekly or so trip to Goodwill.  Some stuff was just plain garbage to throw away.

I will attempt to post an update every Wednesday with tips and tricks and inspiration.  Hope you'll join me!

Heart Day

I went all out this year.
Here is the extent of my Valentine's Day decorations.

Now don't go all crazy Pinning.  Control yourselves, please! :)

I also outdid myself in other ways: I have no cute blogging marriage tips, no thoughts on love, no exciting romantic weekend planned.  We are buying a big Dairy Queen ice cream cake today and eating the entire thing after dinner-and then Jeff heads off to coach the two basketball teams late into the night.

Back to my totally awesome and creative Valentine's Day decoration.  I sent Isaac up in the cold old attic to get that heart.  Why is it that the male species can't find a thing to save their lives?  I said, "It's a large glitter heart, it's at the top of the attic step hanging on the wall to the left."  I kid you not, he came down about 10 minutes later with a bunch of tangled Christmas lights.  He said, "Is this what you are talking about?"

I had to laugh, and he did too.  Honestly, what's the deal?   It's the whole hunter/gatherer male/female thing maybe?  I thought maybe lots of practice in the "finding" department would help-because I did realize that when I needed something found, fetched, gathered, I began to develop an overwhelming dependence on my only daughter.  I would hardly get the request out of my mouth and she would present exactly what I needed in my hands.  "Abbey do you know that red..."  Yup, there it was in front of me, no questions asked, no detailed explanation with specific directions needed.

But how unfair!  I decided that all that was doing was enabling the males of this family to...to what?  Not find things.  But despite many, many practice attempts over the years, I decided I was fighting Mother Nature and I just needed to come to some sort of acceptance of the difference of sexes.  And Abbey and I have secretly had many a good giggle about it...that's our reward for the extra work.

So maybe that's my Valentine's Day message-accept what you cannot change and then find a good girl friend or daughter to giggle about it secretly together?   Eat lots of ice cream cake and take the pressure of yourselves because you know you want that more than chocolate or roses?  Chill with the competition and high expectations because sometimes an old cardboard heart that took 3 seconds to hang is enough? I'm not sure but that's all I have for you today.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Encouragement For The Week

"The greatest need of any country, and especially of our own, is better men and better woman.  The greatness of future generations depends upon the character of the boys and girls of the present.  

It is the duty of the home to properly train children.  

This is important, not only for the sake of the children and the home, but for the sake of the church and the government as well.  Without proper training at home it is almost impossible for the children to be what the parents would wish them."

The Management and Training for Children, William J Shearer, 1904

Inspirational Service

Two falls ago I attended a retreat put on by Power of Moms.  I loved it. I met friends I will have for life during those few fast days.  One of the mothers I met I just instantly felt a connection to.  (I know, that sounds like a quote from that super queer Bachelor show! Ick, sorry.)  Her name was Allyson and she was this vibrant, energetic, confident, beautiful (no I am no exaggerating) mother of six.  I didn't have enough time to ask her the 150 questions I wanted to, but I knew if I had that chance, we could talk forever.  I pretty much felt like that with everyone I met that weekend.

Anyways, Allyson sent me the link to her blog soon after we left and although she is not a consistent blogger by any means, within two posts suddenly her and her entire family was in Thailand, volunteering every day, all day in orphanages.  I wasn't a bit surprised either.  She seemed like the type of girl that when she sets her mind to something-watch out.  She chronicled her entire trip there and the photos and stories were wonderful.



I read every post with envy.  And awe.  Awe at her bravery.  Awe at the fact that she didn't just talk about wanting to do some incredible service project with her family, that she didn't do what I think is easy-find every excuse NOT to go-(because you can always find excuses for just about anything can't you?) but she DID it.  All the planning, the money, the inconvenience, the medical stuff, the passports, the long flights, the car travel, the time change, the children's ages....all the hurdles...she did it.

I think she posted twice in the year since her family was back at home and then I found this in my email box last week:

Dear friends and family,
      Sorry I am late sending this out to everyone!  Lots of you have been so kind to wish us well and ask for the blog.  Here it is www.carefreetimelessness.blogspot.com .  We are 10 days into our 4 month adventure.  To fill in some of you who may not know the details, we have checked our kids out of school for the rest of the year to do some humanitarian work. Let me tell you, I have a whole new appreciation for mom's who home school :)  Let's just say we are still in the "adjusting" phase.  We are traveling with the --- family who has 5 children, so we are quite the spectacle traveling around with 11 children and 4 adults!
      We are in Cambodia right now helping in an orphanage.  We are in the middle of building them chicken coops so they have a way to get more protein in their diet with the meat and the eggs.  Man can not live on rice alone :)  It has been truly amazing to be here.  The Cambodians have captured my heart.
       We then are going to Thailand to go back to the 2 orphanages we helped with last year for a month.  Their website is www.homelifethailand.com Sam is doing his Eagle Project there, helping them build a new type of greenhouse because the rain continually washes out their gardens.  Thanks to all who contributed funds to that!  He was able to raise the money needed.  We are so grateful to all of you.  Then we are on to India to volunteer at a boarding school for children whose parents have leprosy.  It is called Rising Star Outreach.  The parents have all been cured of leprosy, they just have residual problems from the disease.  We will be helping their parents as well as the children in the school.  To finish the trip off we go to a small village in Spain to help in an impoverished elderly community.  Hopefully we will all survive each other!!  Anyway, we love you all and hope life is being good to you!   
 XOXO, Allyson and crew



You can read Allyson's blog here-I pretty much cry at every blog post she writes.  There are some pretty profound things she says in there...I can't help myself.  


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Don't forget you have a chance to create and enter your own recipe into Chef Boyardee's Make It Boyardeelicious Recipe Contest ending March 11, 2011.

Loud Actions, Small Words

Before my teens were teens, but just on the verge, I remember a nice summer evening when Jeff and I finally had a chance to go out to a quick dinner and movie. I don't remember what movie we saw but I remember what movies we talked about seeing and one of them was one of those "funny but raunchy" movies recommended by a few people.  There was a much better choice out there and that's the one I (we?) chose.  I won't say we didn't discuss going to the "funny but raunchy" one-we did, but that night we chose the other.

When we got to the movie theater there was a group of "almost teenagers" we recognized and said hello to.  One or two of them Jeff coached.  They asked us what we were going to see and we told them.  We asked them and they told us.  It wasn't the raunchy one (thank God), but I remember one of them mentioning that movie-saying they heard it was funny.  When we got into the movie theater Jeff and I said to each other, "Aren't you SO glad that we chose this movie?  What if we had to say the other one or they watched us walk into that theater?"  We thought with cringing embarrassment what kind of example that would have been, and how icky we would have felt about that in a million different ways.

I went to a another movie later that year with a friend.  We chose a movie that was a PG-13 chic-flick but I was majorly uncomfortable through some parts of it.  Years ago, I wouldn't have thought one bit about the 13 part of PG-13, and most likely wouldn't have been uncomfortable, but I had a soon-to-be 13 year old daughter and that number become something real-not something far away in the distant future.  Before I wouldn't have noticed the younger girls in the theater watching that movie star jump in bed with her boyfriend on their first date, or the "cute" sexual jokes scattered throughout.  But this time, I found myself rolling my eyes, peering around at the ages of some of these junior high and high school girls in the theater.  Thinking about the messages it was sending ruined the movie for me, yes even the cute and funny parts, darnit!

I recently came across a video of a song I've always liked on the internet.  The woman (I hesitate majorly to ever use the word "artist" anymore) singing has such a pretty voice but the entire sex pot demeanor and drinking and drugs and ick of the video...all of it...I can't listen to that song anymore.  It made me angry.  This is a song on most teenage girl's Ipods not doubt and I'm sure many of this singer's fans watched what I watched.  Would have been that difficult to make the video as pretty as the song and the voice?  Is there anyone with true talent in either the music or movie industry anymore?  Anyone can come up with crap, but it takes originality and talent to come up with the good stuff- that's true artistry, not a cheap, ugly sell-out.

I take things much more seriously now that my kids are older.  I think I should. The pressures today that teenagers face-don't they need anyone and everyone they can get standing in their court-telling them that they are worth more?  Don't they need to come home consistently to a refuge away from all the crap they here and see today?  Teenagers are smart-they figure out really quickly where you stand-whether it's on little things like movies or big things like alcohol-and they are not gullible enough to just listen to what you say and not watch what you do-they notice every inconsistency for sure-we need to give them much more credit than for that than we do.

I think one of the gifts of mothering pre-teens and teens can be the chance for US to reevaluate our moral compass...on every issue, big and small. When I became a mom of a teenager I started seeing things through the eyes of a teenager.   Did I want to settle, did I want to go with the flow and what it seems everyone else is doing, am I willing to deal with feeling different, and am I willing to set the bar at the highest level and then walk the walk not just talk the talk?  That certainly was what I was telling and hoping  my teenager would do-was I willing to do it myself?

I think the greatest gift that parents can give to their impressionable teenagers in return is the gift of strong morality and high expectations-and there is no other more obvious influential way to hand that gift to them than by example of the life choices we, their parents, make every day.

Encouragement For The Week

 "Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all." 

Julie Beck

My Month In Photos

I have hardly touched my camera since Christmas.  I have found that it's nice to take a camera break once in awhile-I've been thinking so much about how 'digitalized' and documented and 'hooked up' our lives have become and sometimes it's just nice to live in the moment. (And yes, I understand how completely silly that sounds saying that while I am typing a blog post!)  When I loaded up my camera yesterday I had about 12 photos on it, and something made me feel good about that.

I also know that my camera won't go completely untouched.  I found a few strange photos from the handful I DID take and had to laugh...I love seeing what the older kids consider "camera worthy".

I bet this was taken by Abbey.  She is BIG into food presentation.  It does look delicious doesn't it?

That's Isaac, my special effects guy.  I have no idea how he did that, and I'm not sure I even want to know, but it sure is cool.  

Here are few photos of the mine from the month of January:

I love Gyo Fujikawa.  We had a few of these books back when I was little and I would stare at each detailed picture forever.  I was big into fairies and gnomes and wild imaginary things.  I bought these three for my own collection.

Post game nourishment.  Can you tell all my kids have inherited my love of fruit salads?

Patrick stares out the window till Isaac gets home...he is the first to arrive home and the most easily talked into for an indoor soccer or basketball game and Patrick is thrilled not to just have boring old mom home.

When he is bored I find contraptions like this hanging around the house.  Tape and string stuck and tied to everything:

I took this in car line one day, waiting to pick up Patrick from preschool.  It was a weird January day-50 degrees out but a storm rolling in later that evening.  The little kids on the playground were WILD...like spring fever wild.  Like buzzing bees everywhere-every one of them screaming and running in circles.  I loved it.  Do you remember spring fever on the playground?   I'd just feel like my heart was going to burst out of my chest-the excitement of warm weather, and fresh wormy smelling air and the thought of no more boots and winter coats and cooped up boredom.  The only problem was...well, it IS January, so the weather is playing a little trick on all of us.  I don't mind the tricks-I have been ready for spring since December 26. 

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Don’t forget to check out my Chef Boyardee post -you have a chance to create and enter your own recipe into Chef Boyardee’s Make It Boyardeelicious Recipe Contest, ending March 11th.  

Reminiscing or Can You Really Get Me A Time Machine Kip?

(An old photo (genuine tint, no Instagram needed!) of my sister and I perched on our grandparent's willlow tree-we used to climb into the middle of it where there was a special ledge, perfect for making mud pies and using our imaginations.  I remember that dress I had on-it was my favorite and I wore it every single day, along with those braids.)

Yesterday my brother wrote me a little note and told me how he was listening to some programs on the radio and how he loved doing this because it brought back the memory of him of being in the car running errands with mom or dad-that fuzzy radio sound in the background.

And I wrote back and told him of how I loved listening to the sound of baseball games on the radio.  Once last year I found one on an AM station-the station was kind of fuzzy-and one of the tortured kids in the back said, "WHY are we listening to this, MOOOMMMM?!  Please!!!!"  And I told them that I loved it and to shush.  Sometimes back long ago (30 years?  how can that be?) my best friend and I would ride with her Dad in the summer while he dropped off piles of newspaper for kids to deliver.  He was a teacher by trade but of course had jobs here and there to make ends meet and provide for his family.  We would help bag up the newspapers and then he'd throw them in the back of the pick up and we would ride with him on his rounds.  The baseball games were always on-it was soothing background noise.  Or maybe for me back then, I didn't even notice-but now every time I hear those announcer's voices it brings me right back to lovely hot summer nights.

I am a huge reminiscer.  I've said it before-go ahead and accuse me of glorifying the past because I have no qualms about doing just that.  I grew up in the time where moms were home caring for their babies and toddlers and had a snack waiting at the table when their older children came home sweaty and tired from a long school day, when dads took the role of provider for their family seriously and with pride, and when no play dates need be arranged-the outdoors beckoned and friends were right around the corner.  I remember annual trips to the shoe store where my mom bought us Hush Puppies once a year before school started.  I remember the smell of the hardware store on a Saturday morning errand with my Dad.  I remember simple, VERY simple, holiday traditions.  Coloring eggs was...well, just coloring eggs, before Martha...well, ruined just coloring eggs.  Simple-back when simple was enough.

I remember the "go outside and play" times.  I remember spending 10 hours a day outside on weekends and summer vacation.  Sure I was bored at times, but no one seemed to really care how bored I was, and certainly didn't feel sorry for my boredom-it was up to me to solve that issue myself.  I remember the bi-weekly trips to the grocery store-all piling in the station wagon or Suburban, helping my mom push two carts filled with well-planned and budgeted-for meals. When I was really young we went to the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.  OK, maybe not the last one, but I do remember the black and white shortbread cookies at the butchers, and the penny gumball machine if we were well-behaved.

There was no Target!  Thank God there was no Target.  What kid wants to be dragged through Target?  Or any of those other endless, too bright, horridly mind-numbing stores?  It's all junk anyways, I always say.  My friend Kitty and I joke that you could put back 99% of what's in your cart at Target before you get to the register and never remember what you missed not bringing home.  I just read this lovely article that made me tear up.  Don't you love that they kept the BB permission notes?  Don't you love that kids were playing with BB guns?  And that their moms trusted them enough to walk down to the hardware store alone?  (Or maybe because there were no video games or 100 channels on the TV, their moms just wanted them out of the house, doing something...anything!)

I joked to my brother that maybe if he looks on-line he could find a time machine for us like Kip did in Napoleon Dynamite-but one that really works, not just zaps your private parts. I wish somehow I could create the same environment for my children that I had growing up. I'm doing my best but I've failed miserably.  We have too much stuff-a box of new crayons I'm afraid doesn't hold the same thrill to my children as it did to me once long ago, too much technology has infiltrated my life, and the streets sometimes seem empty of children so my kids aren't pulled outside all day like I was.  I don't have one rotary phone hooked to my wall where I can hear everything my teens are saying, and I usually end up shopping at one of those endless, big box, too bright grocery stores.

I wish, I wish, I wish, I could go back in time just for a day.  If anything good comes out of this reminiscing time that usually hits me a few times a year, it is a recommitment to myself and my family to not forget those values of long ago-to remember what really counts, and push back hard on this crazy competitive, fast-paced, anti-child-friendly world we live in now.  In fact, I think I might frame that photo above, and a few other captured childhood memories, and place them right front and center above my kitchen sink.  A reminder of the past, but a motivational speech without words for the present and the future.

Encouragement For The Week

(Isaac, my oldest, 17 years ago)

Enjoy the little things,

for one day you may look back 

and realize they were the big things.

Robert Brault

Friday Q & A

I was wondering what website or company you use to book your seaside, FL vacation. We are planning a vacation for this summer and I think I have fallen in love with Seaside.
We mainly use VRBO now.  You just want to make sure that the listings will say IN Seaside proper.  I think VRBO has been a little watered down with commercial companies listing their properties also-I know there are many listings from Seaside Rental Agency on VRBO.  They rent most of the houses but are a bit more expensive.  (But you get a really cute beach bag, excellent service, and awesome smelling soap if you went through them, so maybe it's worth it? :)  Here's the thing about Seaside- you almost can't go wrong.  I did make one mistake 2 years ago and booked a super modern place (only a few of those in Seaside) with open scary as heck staircases and we ended up moving to another cottage because I couldn't relax with Patrick.  Most every place is cuter than the next.  If you ever have questions about a certain cottage, email me and I can tell you where it is, because I have memorized them all my name and color.  (Not quite, but I'm pretty good at it.)


I am writing to ask what your opinion is re: amounts of clothing.  Do you have a roughly set amount of shirts, bottoms, etc. that you allow for each child?  
Everyone must be cleaning out and organizing because I have had this question a couple times this month.  First I want to say that my children are in DIRE need of closet clean-outs, so while I am writing what I believe to be what works best for us IDEALLY, not what is the actual case right now.  I am chomping at the bit to get to that, but holding off till Ash Wednesday for my 40 Day/40 Bag clean out.  My kids seem to wear the same things over and over again-the boys for sure.  They have their favorite t-shirts and favorite sweatpants and favorite jeans and favorite shorts and if I buy something and it doesn't feel right it just will never get worn.  I try to keep things as simple, and closets as practically empty as possible-I live by the less is more philosophy -less hassle, less laundry, less folding, less putting away.

They have school uniforms, and church pants, (khakis), 1 or 2 church shirts-we call these collared shirts-either polos or button downs-as long as it has a collar it is acceptable, a belt, dress shoes, and then maybe one or two pairs of sweatpants, jeans, and probably the same five t-shirts they wear over and over again.  I will go through their closets with the older kids (including Abbey-she will want me to help her and loves doing a closet clean out) and ask them, "Do you like this?  Will you ever wear this?"  And they will say no-too big, too itchy, uncomfortable, hate that it says "insert store name" in big letters across the front, or yes, that's my favorite t-shirt ever and I wear it 3 times a week.


Just curious on your thoughts on having a maid?  I have never had one although my husband got me a one time cleaning service for our anniversary (most unromantic....but BEST gift ever!).   I see absolutely nothing wrong with having one but for some reason I really prefer cleaning my own things and making sure it's done properly.  Just would love to know your thoughts!! 
I experimented with having cleaners come in here or there a few times.  Here's what I haven't liked about it:

-I felt like I have to leave my house while the maid(s) were there or be trapped in one room with the kids while they work the rest of the house.  It was like I was being kicked out of my own house-and I know it was for a good purpose but I just hated that part of it.  

-The cleaning people I have had experience with (remember-not much experience there) have always seemed to start really strong and then get much less diligent to the point where I thought, "Why am I paying for this again?"  I am NOT good at the "management" part of it all-having to say, "This is not good enough, do it again."-I could never do that.  It makes me super uncomfortable and I just want to be nice.

-I am terrible (terrible!) at delegation.  I am a big do-it-yourselfer and have major guilt complexes about paying someone for something I can do-whether it's dig a ditch, spread the mulch, clean a house.  I hardly ever ever ask for help from anyone ever.  To the point of pure stubborn stupidity. 

Here's what I like about it-(besides the very obvious-having a clean house!)
-I felt much more relaxed about the state of my house because I didn't feel like once I got behind I could never catch up.  I lost that whole "I better do it now" feeling and could spend more time enjoying the good things.

I too feel there is nothing wrong with asking for or hiring someone to help you if that's the way you wish to spend your money.  I know that in the summer months with all the kids home all day if I hired someone to do a deep clean twice a month, I would be more relaxed, and much less snappy.  I have a few friends who have someone do this and really I don't think "those lazy good for nothings"-I think "how smart are they".  

Old Ladies In Grocery Stores

I read this post by a close friend the other day, and I love it.  Not just because she linked to my crazy sheet set breakdown post, but because I read the first viral article (this one) a week ago and it didn't sit right with me.  But of course it didn't.  Those old ladies in super markets make my day.  They are little gifts from the universe to me just when I need them the most.  Vera says it better than I ever could.

Teenagers and Facebook

I used to have a Facebook account, but I hardly ever used it, and felt a need to simplify, so I deactivated.  I would have deleted it but I don't feel like researching how to do that.  The reason I signed up in the first place is because my two older kids have accounts and I want to be aware of what they and their "friends" are posting.  (I put friends in quotation marks because you know that friends on Facebook doesn't necessarily mean friends in real life, right?) But now I just use Abbey's sign in information, and snoop around. She doesn't mind (or does she?  I don't struggle much over that one) because I've made it perfectly clear that it's definitely going to happen, although if she is in the room and I just can't help myself with starting in on a lecture about how PLEASE don't ever say/wear/pose the way this girl is she'll say, "Mom, seriously, I know."  So I try to snoop when she's not around so I can say all those things to myself.

I've been asked about Facebook before-my rules, when I let my children get accounts, etc.  I will tell you what I think about it the whole thing and then you can take it or leave it.

Where teenagers are concerned Facebook can be a cesspool of innocent and not-so-innocent teenage mistakes displayed for all to see.  I think if these kids look back on much of what they ever posted as teens, including those queer little teenage-angst excerpts of love songs, they will cringe and run to us one day as adults and say, "Why didn't you stop me?"  I say-"Oh, please, stop them!"  They will be mad at you-oh, I know that for sure-but do them a favor and save them from themselves. Think of YOU having to access to Facebook as a teenager.  I can't even imagine the stupid things I would have posted.  The things I would have written, the pictures that could have been and would have been posted, the immature and irresponsible thoughts in my head being typed out on a screen for all my "friends" to read. And then seeing "friends" at parties, or movies or dates you weren't invited to.  Geez, put a knife in that insecure, sensitive teenagers heart and twist it a few times.  What fun! I feel that ulcer I was working on in high school coming back.

I hear so much about the dangers of Facebook for teens-giving strangers access to information, befriending some weird man that could be a stalker and then (and yes, I know this has happened a few times) meeting him at the local 7-11.  But to me, all this hoopla about the "dangers" of Facebook is the usual knee-jerk reaction to some highly unlikely and rare but dramatic occurrence that gets all of us parents concentrating and worrying about the WRONG thing.  Sure it's important to know why you shouldn't meet strange men you befriended on Facebook at the local 7-11, but take a walk on your teen's Facebook account, and let me tell you-the real danger isn't what you think it is.  It's the risk of viewing and displaying for all to see, images, words, conversations that these teenagers can never take back.

I let both Abbey and Isaac their 8th  grade year have a Facebook account.  I'll never let my younger kids start that early again-mostly because I believe more than ever that it's such a terrible waste of time, but also because it was way too much work for me to monitor.  I think there is pressure and hurt feelings (expecially among the younger junior high group) and things I really don't think they are ready to read and see.  I have regretted my decision and have revoked the privilege at times, but mainly I have talked their ears off about how I feel about it, and I know this has made them step back majorly from Facebook use and see the crazy in it.

But here's the most important thing:  If your child will or does have a Facebook account, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get on it and read it all.  Violating privacy?  Oh, that's not even an argument with me. There is NO privacy on Facebook. It is unfortunately, NOT a locked diary.  I can and do make assumptions about what mothers don't go on Facebook.  Scantily dressed photos of their daughters are posted in their daughter's profiles-butt and chest sticking out, lips pouting sexily. (I can't even begin to tell you at the shock I've caused my poor old eyeballs when looking at these young teenage girls' photos.  Holy moley.)  Pictures of teenagers drinking or obviously either drunk or partying hard.  Posts about drug use.  Posts with terrible language. Posts that are derogatory in terms of the opposite sex.  Posts linking to inappropriate or just crude videos.  Posts about piercings. (Look at us, we got our belly buttons pierced together!  Here's a sexy photo of our bellies with our pants pulled down to right above our crotches!)  I wonder-are they that confident that their parents will never see that photo?  (I don't want to even think of the alternative-that they are that confident that if their parents do see that photo, they'll have no repercussions anyways!)

These kids-they are KIDS!  They aren't adults-although they should be learning to make good decisions, to think about others, to AND THIS IS IMPORTANT-realize that things they say and do-the way they present themselves- are NOT easily forgotten, and have consequences-some of which last a lifetime.  Guess who is supposed to teach them those things?  It's not a new concept but you'd think lately that it is-THEIR PARENTS.  US!  So if we turn our heads, stick them in the sand, use that old "privacy" argument", are afraid of not being on their good side, want to be the cool mom, it's quite obvious to me that the learning curve will be long and hard.  And downright embarrassing in today's world.  And sometimes even worse.

I think (I hope!) Facebook has seen its heyday.  Jeff has a theory-a trickle-down effect of trends-starts with the cool college kids, high school kids latch on because they can't wait to be like the cool college kids, then junior high kids are next, and then-horror of horrors-cool PARENTS (ha!) start using/buying/wearing that trend and it all comes to a screeching halt because nothing is more dorky than seeing your parents using/buying/wearing the same thing YOU are.  Isn't that hilarious?  I think it's right.  Honestly, I am thinking Facebook will be dorky by the time my younger kids would be old enough to use it.  Will there be something in its place?  Maybe, but lets just hope its replaced with common sense. Meanwhile, I say hold off until you think your children are mature enough to handle it, and then add 5 years, (or say no altogether!) and if you decide to not heed my advice (like I didn't), then take an hour every now and then and snoop to your hearts content.  You will learn more than you ever wanted to know-but everything you should.

Here's an excellent (extremely well written) blog post from a teenager's point of view---how Facebook made her feel and why she quit cold turkey. I love love love it.  (And truthfully, I think we can all relate to this no matter what age!)

Homemade Thin Crust Pizza

When Jeff was in college one of the first meals he ever made on his own was the Chef Boyardee pizza kit. And yes, I made fun of him like crazy for it. He has perfected his fancy bachelor meal over the years, and although we don't use many canned/boxed foods around here, this is the one exception. Rarely am I gone during dinner, but if I am, I usually buy the box (well, now two boxes) and let him walk down memory lane. And yes I still make fun of him for his love of Chef Boyardee pizza. But not too much-after all, a break in the kitchen, is a break in the kitchen and I'll take what I can get for sure.

When I made my own little family cookbook last year and had to come up with a few more recipes for my family favorites collection, I experimented with all kinds of homemade pizza dough. I love a thin, crackery crust (I actually love ALL kinds of pizza crust, who am I kidding) and I found it in the following recipe. Jeff begged me to buy Chef Boyardee pizza sauce instead of my usual all natural organic variety. I used mozzarella and Parmesan cheese and it was a hit-I always add some fresh tomatoes to a small corner just for me. It's my "no Chef Boyardee pizza kit but really want Jeff to cook dinner" fall back recipe.

The crust is easy to whip up in minutes, and the kids can help through all the steps-although Jeff has very precise (super annoying) methods of mixing the dough, spreading the sauce, sprinkling the cheese and gets quite bossy about it. I should say-if the kids can stand to be next to bossy pizza cook, they will help. If not, they wait to hear, "Dinner is ready!"

This recipe makes two large pizzas (I use big cookie sheets) and that is usually enough-if I make a salad and some bread. If not, I would double it. Someone usually sneaks on some pepperoni, but I love to sneak on tomatoes, a sprinkle of feta if I have it, and some fresh basil chopped.

Thin Crust Pizza with Chef Boyardee Sauce

2 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast

1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar

1 1/2 cups hot water

3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons salt

1 can Chef Boyardee pizza sauce

mozzarella cheese

Parmesan cheese

toppings if desired

Dissolve yeast and sugar in hot water, let rest for 8 minutes-it will foam up a little.

In a separate bowl, combine flour and salt.

Pour yeast mixture over the flour mixture and mix well until it forms a ball.
Pour one capful of oil over dough, cover and let sit for about 5 minutes.

Divide into 2 portions.
(We use 2 9x12" cookie sheets for this recipe.)

Place dough on a lightly buttered pizza pan and stretch to edges.

Be patient...this is a thin crust, so you have to press little by little to stretch it. I use my fingertips and work the dough slowly till it covers the pan.

Top with Chef Boyardee sauce, and then Parmesan cheese and mozzarella cheese.

Bake at 500 degrees for 8-12 minutes.

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If you'd like to come up with your own family friendly recipe using a Chef Boyardee product, you can enter it in Chef Boyardee’s Make It Boyardeelicious Recipe Contest from December 29, 2011 through March 11, 2012 for your chance to win free groceries for a year as well as one of ten $500 weekly cash prizes. Then visit Chef Boyardee’s Facebook page from March 26, 2012 through April 8, 2012 to vote for your favorite recipes from the “Make It Boyardeelicious Recipe Contest.” Each day, one voter will be selected to win a $100 cash prize.
Be sure to visit the Chef Boyardee Roundup page on BlogHer.com to check out other bloggers’ recipes!

Encouragement For The Week

When we focus on what is good and beautiful in someone, whether or not we think that they "deserve" it, the good and the beautiful are strengthened merely by the light of our attention.  

When we choose to see and appreciate what is good and beautiful in our children, the goodness can't help but grow, and their beauty blossoms forth.

Katrina Kenison, The Gift of an Ordinary Day