Encouragement For The Week

A No-Recipe Meal: Calzones

This recipe is for BIG calzones, or enough to feed my family, plus some kid's friends.

Thaw, and let rise, 2 or 3 loafs of frozen bread dough.  (I usually throw these out in the morning.)

Give each bread dough a cookie sheet and remember to spray lightly with the non-stick spray.

You need:
1 lb. sandwich pepperoni

1 lb. cooked salami

1 lb. provolone cheese

1 bag of shredded mozzarella cheese

1 big tomato sliced thin

Green and or red peppers sliced very thin

Small onion sliced very thin

Parmesan cheese
(You can add any other favorite meats, cheeses or vegetables...I like to add some feta and fresh basil.)

Diced garlic or garlic powder

Italian seasoning
Pasta sauce for dipping

Once bread has thawed and risen, dump about 1 tablespoon of olive oil over bread dough and smash down onto cookie sheet like you are making a pizza. Flip over a couple times to make sure olive oil is coated everywhere on sheet and bread.

Down one long 1/2 layer ingredients with a single layer of each meat and then vegetables and then cheese.

(We make a "boy's" and "girl's" calzone...lots of veggies and cheese for the girls, no veggies and extra meat for the boy's.)

Fold over and seal edges all around.

Ours always end up looking like a giant crescent.

Sprinkle top with Italian seasoning and parm cheese and garlic.

30 minutes @ 350 degrees.  If the top is getting too crisp halfway into cooking time, cover loosely with foil.
Slice and serve with pizza or pasta sauce for dipping.

Ordinary Days

I signed Andrew and Patrick up for swim team, something we have never joined before.  I was always afraid of the morning practices and long swim meets and if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you know I don't like too many commitments for the kids (and for me).  They love it, and I love it, which is such a surprise!  It starts our days off right with a nice routine, the coaches are terrific college kids who really teach the kids great technique, and I can kick myself for not doing this with the older kids, in spite of Jeff's prodding over the years.  Swimming is a little like cross country I have found.  More individual goals, not so many crazy scary competitive parents, really really nice families.  Hoorah!

I was so lucky to be able to have Saren and her kids stop by on their cross country trip.  Saren and I could talk for hours and hours and days and days if we could.  And her kids and my kids hit it off in minutes and had a blast...it reminded me of how cousins are that don't get to see each other often..they just pick up right where they leave off and have so much good fun together.  Wish we lived closer.

This is Abbey's friend Sarah who loves babies.  Janey has never snuggled up to anyone like that except me, but I think she just had a connection with Sarah right away. (And don't they look alike?)  I love Sarah, not only because she loves babies, but also because she is so nice and smiles and laughs all the time.  Abbey and I have a lot of talks about friendships because I think in high school you learn so much about how to choose friends, don't you?  This is what I say is important:  Choose nice girls, who laugh and smile a lot and don't cause drama, and are nice.  Nice girls.  See that "nice" part?  That's the most important part.  You'll have a great life if you have nice friends.

Andrew brought home his journal from third grade.  His teacher took the time to answer his entries back throughout the whole year, and I'm sure she did the same for all the other students.  That is a darn lot of work, and one very very dedicated and committed teacher we are lucky enough to have at our little school.

I saw this dessert on Stephanie's blog and had to make us some.  I remember this same, simple dessert at a pizza place Jeff and I went to in Arizona and we (probably more me) have dreamt of it since.  You can use any chocolate chip recipe, but the key is the ice cream on top right out of the oven, because then it becomes a melty messy delight of dough in the middle and crispiness on the outside.

Janey and her bunny collection.  When I set this little photo up, one of the kids said, "How does she already know she is supposed to put her arms around them like that?"  I said, "Because she's a girl and all girls are born loving stuffed animals.  It's a natural instinct."

Working on reading before kindergarten.  I use Bob books and Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. We usually only need to get to 20-30 lessons and they are off and reading.

Speaking of reading, this is what I am reading now and have been reading for weeks, and I have a stack of others from the library but I just can't find the time to sit down much during the day, and stay caught up with everything and everybody.  This might not be the summer from plowing through novels but heck I'm not giving up.

My days are busy and will be for a long time, but sometimes, as weird as this sounds (and it does sound weird), sometimes I just think about how much I wish I could just live on this planet Earth forever.  It's a pretty darn good existence for me, and I love it here.

P.S. I was featured on Tess's sweet blog, talking about marriage.  I loved reading the other blogger's contributions, which are much better than mine.

Apple Roll-Ups

Here's a great recipe I found in my favorite cook book.  I changed it a little to make it much quicker to assemble.  (I also renamed them Apple Roll-Ups because I roll them up-they are really called "Stuffed Apple-Cinnamon Rolls" but the stuffing part takes too long for me.)

They taste so good and I have started doubling the recipe, to eliminate any arguments over who gets how many.

Here's what you need:
1 package of refrigerated pizza dough-I use the Pillsbury Thin Crust kind*

Filling:
2 cups shredded apples (peel first)
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon flour

Topping:
1 tablespoon butter, melted
1 tablespoon sugar
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Glaze:
6 tablespoons powdered sugar
1 tablespoon melted butter
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1-2 teaspoons milk

1. Preheat oven to temperature on pizza dough container instructions.
2. Spray a pie plate with non stick cooking spray.
3. On a lightly floured surface, roll out pizza dough.
4. Mix the apple filling together in a bowl.
5. Spread the filling as evenly as you can over the rectangle of pizza dough.
6. Starting at a long side, roll up the dough.
7. Using a knife, slice the dough into 10-12 pieces from one end to the other.  Place little round rolls into the pie plate, any which way.
8.  Combine topping ingredients and sprinkle on top of dough.
9. Bake for 15-20 minutes.  Let cool for 10 minutes and then top with glaze.

*If you want to make dough from scratch this recipe is the one to use.

Ordinary Days

It's finally warm enough to have kitchen sink baths and there is nothing cuter in the world to me than babies in kitchen sinks.  

 My peonies are in full bloom.

I love when these shrubs blossom every year-and they smell so good.  

Janey loves her little meals.  We skipped the whole baby food stage (I always buy a few jars and then it sits in my cabinets untouched) and I waited till she could eat tiny cut up people food around eight months, which is the way all my babies liked to start eating.  She doesn't like to be fed by anyone but herself (does anyone? especially when you can't say "yuck" "no more" "stop shoving that into my mouth"?), and she has mastered the pincer grip so away she goes...although I often find a bundle of "missed the mouth" food in the bib pocket, she manages really well.

I just had Janey's photo taken.  I've always gone to Target with a coupon and a baby that's around nine months old and asked for plain white background and then ordered a few 8x10's.

Here are all my babies, about the same age.  All I know is that Patrick and Janey do look a lot alike, and Andrew...well...that child inherited 100% of his father's genes.

 Isaac and Abbey

 Matthew and Andrew

 Patrick and Janey

Do you think Abbey and Janey look alike?  I don't, but I love how they both hold one arm up for balance.

 Some things are meant to be remembered.  Abbey went to the mall after school on the last day, and then came home and said, "I think I am allergic to the mall, and I think I hate shopping."  Talk about inherited traits!  I laughed so hard and wrote it down to remember it forever (and remind her often)...I had wished that non-shopping gene would rear it's lovely head soon!

I have a nineteen year old!  That's crazy.

Speaking of teenagers...my mom gave this card to Jeff and I loved it.  There is such a learning curve that comes with raising teenagers.  It's a lovely and maddening age and it takes more work and time and love and patience than any other stage of parenting.  It can also be a lot of fun to see teens blossom into really awesome young adults, and I think keeping your eye on the bigger picture is also key to the "fun" word.  :)

The annual Memorial Day 5K run.  Jeff came in first.  He would definitely want me to write that.  Last year Matt tapped him on the shoulder as he flew past him, so this year Jeff ran himself into the ground to not let that happen again.  And Matt beat Abbey which is a new twist, but only because she played lacrosse this spring instead of crew, where the coach makes them run a gajillion miles every practice, so she wasn't in tip-top shape, or so she says.  And yes, Andrew, 9, ran the 5K with a time of 26.30.  HELLO!  I was nervous about letting him run and Jeff made it clear that if he was going to run with the "big kids" he was going to be on his own.

This is the same boy who came in almost last for all his cross country meets when he was just 5 years old.  He would give high fives to all the spectators and smile the entire race, looking for his fans in the crowd. 

 I don't think he really understood the "race" part back then.  And his legs didn't seem to be co-ordinated to bump it up a notch.  The next year he improved a tiny bit-he started to notice that a lot of the kids finished before him, and that frustrated him, but he didn't give up, he worked harder.  Every year he got a little better, those legs started working a little more gracefully and now in third grade he is an excellent runner.  We are so proud of him!

Encouragement For The Week

Retreats

I just wanted to share some upcoming Power of Moms mini-retreats this summer.  You can read more about them over here.  I went on a weekend Power of Moms retreat a few years ago and had so much fun, met so many nice moms, and came back refreshed and replenished.

• Chicago: Monday, June 3rd from 9:30am-12:30pm
• Boston: Saturday, June 8th from 7-10pm
• New York City (Near Columbus Circle): Tuesday, June 11th from 7-10pm
• Washington DC Area (Potomac, MD): Saturday, June 15th from 9:30am – noon
• Kansas City, MO: Tuesday, June 18th from 7-9:30pm

Happy Days

Well, school is out for three out of five around here.  Patrick "graduated" from preschool last week and Abbey had her final exam last Friday.  Matthew and Andrew still have another week and a half.  I'm not sure if this gradual summer break start is easier or more difficult than the old all-out-an-once official last day of school.  It's harder for me to keep the school kid's schedule still going when every one else is in summer mode, that's for sure, but maybe it eases me into the non-routine of summer?  Of course, I'd take them all back young enough to be littles at home or in elementary school, out on one official last day of school in a heartbeat, but in spite of the anti-aging medicine I've been sneaking in their milkshakes they still keep getting older darn kids.

Blog-wise you know what this means.  It's going to be hit-or-miss on Clover Lane, and just putting that in writing makes me feel better some how.  If I set low obligations for myself I always come out ahead.  I am thinking it might be easier to just do one long blog post a week, but maybe it won't, I'll just have to wait and see but I'm going to try and see how it works this week.

Speaking of expectations I read a post by Jennifer Fulwiler recently that I just loved.  It's about making good decisions.  Number two is my all time favorite.  Particularly this sentence: "Whenever I’ve started going down a path that introduced tension, resentment, or other bad vibes into the family, it’s always turned out to be the wrong decision."  Heck, yes, a hundred times over.  Mothering is such a balancing act and the needs of our children come and go with different stages and ages and I'm not happy with myself unless I feel like I am giving it my best shot every day.  That doesn't mean that the day goes perfectly (with six kids that never ever happens) but it does mean that my vocation as a mother comes first.

We have no big summer plans here.  Isaac and Abbey are working (grocery store and ice cream shop respectively) and Matthew is busy biking all over town with his friends.  I signed him up for a few camps this summer.  Sometime I've done camps for the kids (just one or two hour week-long camps) and other times I wanted my summer free and clear of obligations and time tables.  This summer I thought maybe it would be best to have a few of them occupied some time.  Andrew is going to try tennis and Patrick will be back in t-ball...which means Janey will get some nice swinging and stroller-riding in while we sit at the park and watch.

Here are my priorities for summer:
1. Keep these kids fed which is NO small feat.  I am sticking hard and fast to my meal planning because without it, it seems like things break down quickly in so many ways.  Once a week grocery shop, a week full of meals planned out, plenty of fruit in the fridge.  My bread maker is up and running again (it took a little break since Janey's been born) and that helps fill some hungry boy tummies.

2. Get a little bit of time to myself each day, which will probably just mean a 10 minute walk, but I'll take it.  I am awful at doing this but it sure helps me be more centered and purposeful which is a nice way of saying less apt to be snappy, crabby and over-reactive.

One of my favorite times of day is in the morning when Janey and Patrick play in the living room. I got out my camera the other morning in attempt to capture the light and I think I managed it.  It's warm and quiet and a peaceful start to the morning.

Summer Reading Plans

I've been so busy lately, and Janey has been in quick-nursing mode, that I haven't read much.  But summer is the best time to catch up, and I have big plans.  For all of us.  

Isaac and I made a deal.  Or actually I told him my plan and said this is what you are doing buddy.  I am forcing him to read.  I get so freaked out about this younger generation and how little they read-not school book reading, but fun, "I'm bored and there is nothing else to do" reading.  It's easier to watch stupid videos on YouTube that rot your brain out then it is to get into a book.  But books teach so much-and not just the classics-but just good books.  So I am assigning a book a week and if he doesn't finish, I am holding all of his technology ransom until he is.   He's already finished the first in 5 days and really liked it.

Defending Jacob by William Landay

It's good-I read it awhile ago.  It's sort of a crime/lawyer/bully/cyber novel, something I don't usually read but really enjoyed.  Since the main character is a teen I thought it would help to reel him in and establish some trust in my "I promise you won't feel tortured" book choices.

Half Broke Horses: A True-Life Novel

I just finished this for the second time and it's next on his list.  It's so quick and easy and full of hard-knock adventure.

Here's a few that have been on my "read me soon" list for a long time.

I don't have to worry about Abbey-she is like me and can't get enough of books.  I know it's so nice for her to just to read what she wants instead of what she has to for school, and she already has a towering stack in her room.

Andrew is the same-I just can't keep up with him and we have to make some sort of list so I can get to the library quicker than he is finished with the next one.  Right now he is reading Cold Cereal by Adam Rex.  I reserved a few other Adam Rex novels for him in case he is interested.

And Janey loves her books...honestly they are her favorite things to play with. :)

I still have trouble getting my Matthew books he likes.  So much science fiction/fantasty for this age and I think he needs some variety.  I am going to comb through this plethora of suggestions again you all left me and see if we can get a big stack on his shelf for the summer.
(Here are some young teen girl book suggestions if you need some.)

One day I'd love to compile big book suggestion lists per age group on my blog for all of us moms who want our children reading...one day.  Right now I just have to keep up with the laundry.  Meanwhile I'll keep you posted as we find the great ones.

P.S. It's funny that there are so many comments on Gone Girl this morning, as I just started it last night, and read a few chapters and thought, "What the heck?"  Yuck! That's a no-go, best-seller or not...instead I started a book called The Light Between Oceans and I'm loving it.  

Bumps and Bruises

Patrick is learning to ride without training wheels on the front lawn, which has a little downward pitch to make it easier.  I know by now that there are going to be tears and bumps and bruises but big proud moments of beaming eyes looking up at me and saying "I did it!"  Then practice and practice and practice.

I was thinking of how some days being a mother seems so difficult...it seems like everything is going wrong, or things weight heavily on my mind.   And other days, it seems like a piece of cake-the whole day flows pretty darn smoothly-gosh I love those days.

As kids grow older, parenting becomes so much more mental work then physical work.  And the emotions are there all the way through.  Pride, disappointment, anger, happiness, frustration, joy.  It's up and down and back and forth.  I was sharing some things with my mom the other day-she is the best to vent to-do you want her number?  I'm kidding, I'm kidding.  (I just heard my mom gasp from miles away.)  But she helps me so much.  I realized that sometimes I just need to acknowledge to myself that what I am doing-parenting six children-three teenagers all in different stages of teenage-hood, two active boys, a little baby still nursing and up at night and in need of constant care-is sometimes difficult, but HECK, I'm doing it.  I'm doing it all day and all night.  It's not always going to be easy, it's not always going to have that nice downhill pitch where I can cruise along...there are going to be bumps and bruises and then the beaming eyes (those moments when you know they "get" the lesson you wanted them to learn!) make it all worth it. 

Baby Love

Oh, Janey is the sweetest little baby in the world and brightens every day.  I'm sure every mother thinks the same thing, because what is there not to adore about these soft, cuddly, innocent, bright-eyed humans that look at their moms with adoring eyes and always have a smile?   Patrick asked me at the dinner table the other day if I could have 'five-ten-thousand' babies, would I?  I said yes, but not all at once, and only every two or three years to space them apart, and if I could stay the same age and never grow old so I'd have the energy for them.  That's a lot of "ifs" but by golly, I mean it.  He told me he's going to have that many babies.  I wonder if his future wife knows of his big plans. :)

I am trying to not full-on-panic about the fact that her first birthday is 3 months away.  It's almost a punched-in-the-gut feeling when I think about it. I know my baby will always be my baby, but when babies turn one they look different-they get longer and leaner and wear shoes and start to walk, and they don't look like "wrapped up in a blanket" babies anymore, and oh boy, I am not ready for her to be a toddler as much as I love that stage also.  I wish I could double time my life right now...like make every day last twice as long.  I think I might be crazy.  But I'm ok with crazy, especially when it comes to this part of my life-it's my whole life-being a mom, and I love it so much.  I was hooked when Isaac, my first, was born, and I wish it could just go on forever and ever and ever-babies in my home forever, shining their little light to all.

Encouragement For The Week

A Spring Walk

It is purple and pink and green all over here, and it smells so good-the lilacs are in full bloom.

I could stand at the end of this driveway for a full hour just sniffing in the smell.

Our neighbors down the street raise chickens.  They are always wandering the yard and crossing the street and I love it.  

Janey isn't exactly sure how she feels about sitting in tickly green grass.  She's trying hard to get used to it, can you tell?  But it's a no-go. 

The stroller is more her cup of tea.

A No-Recipe Meal: Meatball Subs

This a favorite of ours and so easy.  It's great for those evenings when schedules get crazy and kids are eating at different times.

You need:
1 jar of your favorite spaghetti sauce
meatballs (I buy the frozen bagged kind)
mozzarella cheese
sub buns

Pour the jar of sauce into a saucepan and heat up the meatballs on low till they are heated through.  Place as many meatballs as you like onto the bread (I estimate about 6 small meatballs per person), along with some sauce.  I use anything from a fresh French bread loaf to (desperation) hotdog buns.  Sometimes I toast the buns if they are too soft so they don't get soggy.

Top with mozzarella cheese.  Leaving the sandwiches opened, I put them in a 350 degree oven till the mozzarella cheese is melted and browning just a bit and they are all warm and toasty.

Distracted Parenting

Dr. Neal Halfon, a physician who directs the UCLA Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities, refers to “parental benign neglect.” One example involved an 18-month-old and his parents:
“‘Their son seemed happy, active and engaged, clearly enjoying time and pizza with his parents. … At the end of dinner, Mom got up to run an errand, handing over care to Dad.’

“Dad … started reading phone messages while the toddler struggled to get his attention by throwing bits of pizza crust. Then the dad re-engaged, facing his child and playing with him. Soon, though, he substituted watching a video on his phone with the toddler until his wife returned.

“… [Dr.] Halfon observed a dimming of the child’s internal light, a lessening of the connection between parent and child.”⁵

-from a talk by Rosemary M. Wixom called The Words We Speak

I've been thinking so much lately about the benefits of growing up in certain generations.  We received a Newsweek magazine recently that outlined them each generation from the 1900's up-the Baby Boomers, Generation X, etc.  I don't know if I "believe" the little parcels of traits they tuck us all into, but I do notice and worry (because that's what mothers do best) about some of the drawbacks of being a child today.  I know my children are so lucky in so many ways, but I also know that as a mom, I can be so much more distracted and busy if I don't make a deliberate effort to be present, in the moment, with my children.

I am old enough to remember a time as a mother when there were no cell phones, when a computer wasn't a necessary addition to the household.  I know things have changed attention-wise because of all this technology at our fingertips.  If I go back far enough, I remember being raised with a phone that was attached to the wall.   Which meant if my mom needed to talk to someone, the only multi-tasking she could be doing was within 3 feet of the outer wall of our kitchen.  Do you know what that meant?  With five children, there wasn't a lot of multi-tasking while on the phone!  Phone calls were generally quick, and had a purpose.  Even if "catching up" was the purpose, we knew that we had to wait 5 or 10 minutes, quietly, and my mom would be "back".

There are plenty of good things that technology brings us moms-things that make our life easier, but I can't help but want to flip some of what we might think and are told are "benefits" and examine them for what they really are most of the time-distractions, causes of frenetic busy-ness, breaks in concentration, information overload in our brains and most of all, a tendency to not be present for many little minutes that add up quickly in our children's eyes.

Have you ever been talking to someone who you can tell is thinking about the text they just received or sent?  Or having a conversation or meal with someone who is constantly answering their cell phone?  We all know it's rude, but how often do we do this to our children-sometimes they don't have the words to say, "Mom, please look at me!  Mom, please pay attention?  Mom, are you listening?"

When I read the little excerpt from the talk above, the words "dimming of the child's internal light" really struck me hard.  How often does that little light dim?  How long till that light goes out because children give up fighting for our attention?  How often are we distracted and pulled in different, more trivial directions, when we should be focusing our attention on our children?

I was at an indoor soccer game with Patrick this winter...a little league that I usually would pass over, but I knew this little boy needed to get out and run once a week.  The first time I went I sat and watched him play-he was so darn cute, and he said to me before, "Mom, watch me, and cheer me on OK?"  He reminded me so much of Isaac, 13 years ago, at that very same age-a smile on his face, having the time of his life.  I noticed so many little things that made me hunt for a tissue in my pocket-this sweet sweet little boy and all his nuances that only a mother would see.  I've said it a million times before-they will be gone before you know it and there are no do-overs.

When I happened to glance around at the other parents way more than half of them were on their phones.  It made me so sad-these kids KNOW you are here, they want you to watch them, they ARE looking for you, and in that moment they look up, do you want them to see you on some dumb phone? What conversation/game/internet search could be important enough?  Do you all realize how fast time flies?  Don't you want to imprint that sweet little face in your memory forever?

But the next time I took Patrick, Abbey was driving to a lacrosse game in a neighboring town-she texted me to ask me how to get there.  Matthew was home alone and had a question about something and called.  Isaac texted me from school to ask about plans for coming home for the weekend.  If I had walked in on myself during that soccer session, I would have been just as guilty of that inattention as the group of parents last week.

It made me think of how often we are pulled away from our children-sometimes for good reasons, but those reasons wouldn't have even existed 20 years ago.  If I didn't have a cell phone, Abbey would have had to ask me the night before, or called a friend, Matthew would have figured out the answer to his question on his own, or would not have been home alone because he couldn't contact me, and I would have had one weekly phone call (remember when dorms had one phone everyone had to share out in the hall?) and we would have talked about it then-definite plans would have been made and settled without little tidbits of communication back and forth.  I see pre-planning, the development of independence and good decision making...benefits to being un-plugged and un-available.

I can make up (I'm sure we all can) hundreds of excuses for our inattention, but I am trying to decipher, more than ever, if any of them are valid.  I think we as parents must really really flip these excuses over and examine them for what they really are-mostly excuses.

I do know this.  Kids behave better when they get our attention.  Kids pay better attention themselves, when they get attention.  If you want kids to listen to you, listen to them. All kids want to be good.  They don't want to be treated like pests.  They don't want to feel less important than some device in our hand or some keyboard or screen.  Kids don't need to be the center of our world and feel it all revolves around them, but they do need to feel that they are just as important as anything else in our lives.  

The way you show someone they are important is too look them in the eye and pay attention...everyone knows, even the littlest child, when we are truly present.