Monday, September 17, 2012

Blurry Days



I am so grateful for my mom, who offered to come again last Thursday and help out because honestly I really was nursing 12 out of every 24 hours and things really would have gone to pot over here without her.  I even got out for a whole two hours by myself!


I told Jeff yesterday that I never thought I had any more baby lessons to learn now that I've had six.  I really pictured these first weeks being perfectly enjoyable and easy with no learning curve, and once again, I am reminded that each baby is so different and there is always something to throw a loop into things.  I am also reminded that there will be good days and bad days with new babies, and that unpredictability is the hardest part for me.  Will I have a chance to shower today, or eat lunch, or get to the laundry or prepare a dinner?  On those hard days I forget there will be easy days and on the easy days I forget that tomorrow might be different.

The most important thing to remember is that all too soon, when Janey is toddling around, starting preschool, getting her driver's license, leaving for college, I'll wish for these days, whatever kind of days they happen to be-back again, even just for a moment.

63 comments :

  1. You look amazing! You would never guess you JUST had a baby.
    Glad things are looking up. :)

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  2. So glad to hear things are looking up! She is such a pretty baby!

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  3. I just love your blog and your honesty. And, hello!? Did you really just have a baby - and your 6th at that?? Amazing! Thanks for posting - you really are helping more women than you will ever know! Janey is a doll.

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  4. OH my goodness!!! Are you sure you just had a baby! You look SKINNY!!! :)

    I'm glad that the breastfeeding is getting better. She may be fussier now just because her tummy is working on digesting and she's acclimating to it.

    Aren't mom's that come to help out the absolute best!?

    Thanks so much for keeping us updated and sharing your lovely little miss with us!

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  5. I am so glad to hear you and Janey are doing better. I love your honesty and openness about it all. You're not trying to make everyone think you are wonder woman. (But the thing is...I still happen to think you are!) You look absolutely amazing. You are an inspiration!

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  6. I know you feel yucky and dumpy but you look fantastic! I have had my 5 and I REALLY look like it so you're one up on me for sure!

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  7. I'm with everyone else. You look amazing! My tummy is bigger than yours and I've never had any babies.

    I know none of that matters.

    So glad you found a lactation consultant who could help. What a gift!

    Thanks for your honesty.

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  8. Honestly, thanks for sharing your difficulty. I had slow weight gain with my first and I was so guilty and depressed. It is part of your lovely reaching out to all mons here that you can show us that even on your 6th each child is their own person, regardless of how we mother. I know it will be up and up for janey from here!

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  9. Just came across your blog today...(came up when I typed in "potty training" on Pinterest.

    Anyway- kudos to you for capturing the way to say what I feel so often with my two young boys...."On those hard days I forget there will be easy days and on the easy days I forget that tomorrow might be different." Your blog has truly brought a refreshing smile to my face. Thank you!

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  10. So glad things are on the upswing with the breastfeeding! And, yes, you look so slim!

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  11. This post just brought tears to my eyes. My baby is almost 3 months old and the unpredictability is crazy hard for me too. Thanks for reminding me to slow down and enjoy this.

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  12. Hang in there, Momma! You're doing great.

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  13. I am SO proud of you! On the days you feel down or overwhelmed, please remind yourself what an inspiration you are to so many women. You look FABULOUS by the way...better than I did after only 2 babies!!!! :)

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  14. Oh my dear. I am so sorry things have been so hard. Good for you for seeking help! I understand completely, being an experienced mom and thinking, 'oh I know what I'm doing, done it all etc' There is always something new to learn, but sometimes it's hard to recognize that we need a little help. I am so glad that Janey and you are doing better. Hang in there {{hugs}}

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  15. You look amazing and I'm glad you are having a few good days mixed in!

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  16. Oh my goodness, this post brought back a flood of memories and feelings. Having felt everything you're feeling, 6 times, I just have to say...you're doing great. Janey will be fine and you will work through the post partum fog.

    ((HUGS))

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  17. You sure dont look like you just had a baby.....good for you! Glad you and Janey are figuring things out.

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  18. New baby days are tough (for me). Actually, I find it very refreshing to read your honest account -- after five babies, I am relieved to learn that it is still hard for an experienced mom... because I struggled with my newborns! PLUS -- I had my husband home for six months with my first and four months with my second (Canada has paid leave -- both parents). I don't know what I would have done without him -- it's such a demanding time.

    Janey is gorgeous! I love that photo of her and (I assume) your Mom.

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  19. SO glad you're feeling better! Sounds like it was thrush, huh? You look amazing and that Janey of yours is beautiful:)

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  20. This post was just what this mama of a three month old and five year old needed to hear! Unpredictability is definitely a struggle for me. I know I will miss it as my baby grows up, but the bad days are hard and the good ones too short! You look fabulous! I am so glad you got to visit with a helpful LC! They can be lifesavers!!!

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  21. I'm glad things are going better with Janey's feedings. But seriously, please tell us other mommies with tummies that you photoshopped yours out. Right? Right? Good thing I like you so much or I would have to hate you ;)

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  22. I find your blog such an inspiration, and I love how honest you are in admitting how hard it is with a newborn and this is your 6th. You are doing amazing - plus oh my goodness you look amazing!! Oh and Janey is just gorgeous, makes me clucky for number 3

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  23. I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling better! I really think the lack of sleep played a HUGE part in your sadness!! You look wonderful!

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  24. HOLY COW! Sarah, you look amazing! Your stomach is completely flat and you look just awesome. You may not feel great, but mama, you look it! Glad things are going better with the feedings. Janey has the most beautiful fair skin btw. I am partial to fair skinned babes, since all 3 of mine are ;)

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  25. I'm not sure that I've ever commented here, but I so enjoy your blog and your honesty and encouragement. Hang in there! You're doing a great job! 4 of my 5 struggled with breastfeeding, with the longest taking more than 7 weeks to nurse exclusively. The newborn days for all the difficult ones are such a blur. I wish I could remember the sweetness of just cuddling them close, but in my case it was more like trying to nurse through tears, passing off the baby and pumping after every attempt, being sick with worry, and lots of lactation visits. I'm so glad for God's grace to enable me to persevere and pump for the first and nurse the rest. Praying for your sweet Janey and for smooth days ahead.

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  26. You look FABULOUS! Did you just have a baby?!

    I didn't comment on your breastfeeding post, because I had no advice. Honestly, I have had at least one period of major breastfeeding issues all four times - and each time they seemed like the end of the world, but once they passed I completely forgot about them. I don't even remember what was wrong or why, only that it was really bad and I thought things were as bad as they could get and then we figured it out or it passed and looking back I can't even remember what exactly the issue was.

    I hope that happens to you now, and you settle into happy baby blissdom. Janey is perfect! Good job, mama!!

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  27. You look wonderful! And Janey is precious. I agree, the unpredictability is the hardest part. Once they start going to bed on a more consistent pattern I always feel better. After I had my baby 8 months ago, I got a card from a friend that said "I pray God gives you the strength you need during these next few months." I loved that, and I pass that prayer on to you. You know better than anyone how fast it goes so just try to go with the flow as best you can, and don't fight it. Just smell her little neck and enjoy every newborn minute of it:))

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  28. Beautiful. You write what's in my heart. Or, what WAS in my heart when I had my newborns! Oh man, the unpredictability just about kills me. It is always changing for better or worse.

    So happy she's feeding better. That makes ALL the difference when you know your sweet baby is thriving (and you aren't in pain!). I love your last paragraph. As a friend recently told me, These days with little ones aren't perfect, but someday looking back we'll realize that they were, in fact, perfect.

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  29. So glad your time with the lactation consultant was positive! They definitely know the subtle tricks. And I find it fascinating (truly) that there is a learning curve with number six. Who would have thought? You're right. It speaks so much to the individuality of each family member, and the way God uses families to teach us all sorts of things we couldn't learn any other way. Wishing you another couple hours to yourself and a good sleep! Love you dearly.

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  30. I think you write so eloquently about the newborn days!
    But mostly I'm commenting about the picture with you and janey (at least I think that's you in the photo) I cannot believe how great you look after having a baby . . . let alone 6! You look fabulous!!!
    Wishing you 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep!! ;)

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  31. You are a far way from dumpy!!!

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  32. Wow you look amazing!!!!
    She is gorgeous and I remember well all of those newborn hazy days.
    Such wise words about soaking it up, but an extra pair of hands and sleep make that easier, so I hope you get more of those.
    Yay to overcoming your breastfeeding issues too!
    Each baby is different and we as Mums have to relearn everything, even feeding.
    Keep up the great work.

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  33. Oh Sarah, always ups and downs as parents. I love how you stated about the hard days and easy days - it's right on. It's good you had a little bit of a physical and mental break with your mom and Jeff at home. I know how important that can be. Thank goodness you saw the consultant. How I wished I had done that with all of my kids - if only for reassurance. Esp. with the first. It's a bit scary and with our mothers not having any experience - well, there was no one to help. But thrush came on my third - so always something new. Anyway, glad you and Janey are on the upswing.

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  34. You look great. Thanks for the uplifting post. I had a hard time feeding my son. He didn't gain any weight between his one and two month checkups. I, however, couldn't hold back tears by biting my cheeks I just starting bawling - it wasn't pretty. I feel so grateful that your mom came to help. I didn't have that type of support so I went to bottle feeding.

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  35. Oh, you have described the experience of a new baby perfectly. So glad you are doing better. She is absolutely beautiful and you look amazing.

    Take care and enjoy this precious time.

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  36. You look amazing and so happy to be holding that lil darling. I am so happy to hear things are going in a better direction for you!

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  37. I am happy to hear things are better. My baby just turned one and you look better than I do! You are amazing.

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  38. I know everyone has said but I have to say it too - you look AMAZING. My three were all slow to gain weight. I had to go in for weigh in every two days for weeks. The best tip I ever received was to press gently the palm of my baby's hand while feeding, press release, press release. It triggers the baby to suck. I can't explain it but it works.

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  39. Oh I'm so glad you are on the upswing with that little sweetie's nursing, and adjustment and all that...thinking of you a lot!

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  40. Glad to know things are getting better!

    Care to share any attaching tips? I'm due at the end of the month and am just trying to gain all of the knowledge I possibly can since this is our first.

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  41. Thank you for sharing Sarah...and so glad feeding is easier...yay!!! I always love your honesty. And that quote "the days are long but the years are short" is so very true. I wish I had this post of yours when my guys were babies...so good for new mommies.

    The thought that popped into my head...make sure you take care of yourself!! :) Have snacks around for you, make sure you eat well! Your bod is working overtime feeding another! Take care!

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  42. Just what I needed to hear today. My daughter is one month old and I'm still adjusting to life with two! You are amazing.

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  43. Oh my goodness, what is going on?! You have my pregnant hormonal self in tears. I appreciate you honesty and openness so much. We were so thrilled to learn that we were expecting #2 and then shocked to learn we are expecting #2 AND #3. I have been so worried about everything working out (we have a compact car and a small 2-br house... and my husband works from home at a desk in our bedroom). It is stories like yours that remind me you can never have things perfectly planned and you just have to roll with it. Soon the twin pregnancy will be over and I hope to have two chubby little toddlers running around my house!

    PS you look lovely, as does Janey :) I am so glad you were able to work through your breastfeeding problems. I hope it is smooth sailing from here on out!

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  44. You look beautiful.
    I imagine your hormones are all wonky.
    I am in a good place in my life because I have accepted the ups and downs as they come and enjoy them anyways because it is life and it is precious and so short...babies do not stay babies for very long.

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  45. you look beautiful as always.
    glad things are looking up!
    oh how i miss those baby days... the hard and easy ones!

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  46. Thanks for sharing! My third, Noah, is now 10 days old, and I'm trying to figure out how you read my mind and verbalize it so well. Here's to a few more weeks or months of just putting foot in front of the other!

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  47. Thanks for sharing! My third, Noah, is now 10 days old, and I'm trying to figure out how you read my mind and verbalize it so well. Here's to a few more weeks or months of just putting foot in front of the other!

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  48. 1. You look amazing...for just having had a baby, let alone 6! 2. You'll get your groove back. 3. Breathe, eat, rest.
    xoxo
    julie

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  49. Sarah, I love your newborn stories (I'm jealous :) and I hope you know that even in your blurry stage, you are helping me...Just followed your Picassa Tutorial and did my new header. I love it! Thank you so much. It's at: maisymak.blogspot.com

    Good luck with family and baby Janey. Beautiful.

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  50. rest when you can. btw, i love the light saber on the table next to the baby's bucket. lol.

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  51. You look GREAT!!! I am so jealous. I am having latching issues myself and it really does get you down. I just had my third and he has been so different from the other two. It is crazy with a newborn and school age children. I would not trade it for the world.

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  52. I always say the first 3 months are pure survival. Life gets so much easier when they are around 3 months! But that can seem like an eternity when you are so sleep deprived!

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  53. I know what you are going through. I have 6 kids and they are so very different...but somehow when I had trouble nursing one of my later babies....I knew that it was all my fault. That I was an imposter...not really a good mom, at all. God bless those lactation consultants that help us through our tears! I am so glad things are going better for you both now. Now, you need to get some sleep and things will be awesome!

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  54. I had that same "I want to cut off my left leg" pain with breastfeeding my first. It took 6 months to go away....and I just thought it was normal. I remember crying for hours on end, gritting my teeth and trying to get through it.

    I am so glad you got help. That pain is seriously worse than labor...

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  55. You are an amazing mom of SIX! God bless you for sharing all the things that you do! Your vulnerability is so refreshing! Having had lots of nursing issues, I can totally relate! To having six kids, not so much! God granted us one! He is a blessing as I know that your kids are to you! Thank you for sharing your beautiful family with us!

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  57. You just made me cry.

    The postpartum depression was crushing; the unpredictability madding; the exhaustion excrutiating. It was all so very hard.

    But it was the best time of my llife bar none.

    And I often wish for those days -whatever kind of days they happened to be-back again, even just for a moment.

    What a wonderful woman you are. Your children are lucky to have you.

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  58. I have such admiration for you...really happy your precious girl is doing better with the breastfeeding. Hang in there and I echo everyone else's comments...you look amazing! You'd never guess you just had your 6th baby. :-)

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  59. I too thank you for your honesty. My son was born four weeks early at a difficult time of my life. I remember it took four weeks for me to 'love' him and one day I just looked down at him (whilst breastfeeding) and felt such a rush of love and emotion. It's not all the stuff you see on television and being back to 'normal' the day after giving birth! Just for the record, the song that soothed my DS (now 17) was Sting singing Fields of Gold. Beautiful!

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