Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What Makes Me Feel Like A Good Mom?

Do you ever ask yourself this?
It's like giving yourself an evaulation, and then finding all the answers to your happiness.
What's a good day's work as a mommy mean to you?

What, when you lay your head down to sleep, what makes you feel that "this was a great day" feeling in your heart?

For me, I've found it's not dependent on whether or not we did something out of the ordinary.  And it's not really dependent on whether everything went smoothly or not, or whether or not all the kid's were happy all day. 
It's about the stuff that doesn't change...that shouldn't change.  The constant, simple stuff.

Here are my answers:
1. I can say I didn't raise my voice once. I took the time to step back and react like a mature adult in charge of the situation.  I educated and taught instead of getting angry.

2. I looked into the eyes of each child-I wasn't so busy that I just "managed" them, but I took time to connect with each of them.

3. I took the time to search out a little piece of goodness in each one and let them know it. 

4. I went outside with them, in any kind of weather, for a walk, or to play.

5. We never turned the TV on.

6. I got down on my hands and knees and played, or read a book with the little ones.

7. I was "ready" for the older ones when they got home from school.

8. I fed us ALL healthy food and we ate together as a family.

9. I kept our house relatively cleaned and straightened, supplied with GOOD things to do...good books, creative toys.

10. I tucked freshly scrubbed, shampoo-smelling children into bed...and spent a little time reading or talking about their day before lights-out.

No, this all can't happen every single day, it DOESN'T happen every day, but it makes me feel so good when I can make several of them happen. It allows me to feel like "job well done"

It's easy to find excuses but none are really as important enought to interfere with me being the mother I have the intention of being.

Yesterday is gone.  Tomorrow is yet to come.  We have only today.  If we help our children to be what they should be today, they will have the necessary courage to face life with greater love.
Mother Theresa

41 comments :

  1. Your so right!! I love it!! Thanks, for always putting things into perspective for me.

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  2. Your list is "time-less" ...and I love it! "Supplied with good things to do" ..resonated with me. This is always a goal of mine...and I think it's so very important.

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  3. I've been thinking about this topic lately too. I was thinking about how we (I) need to "check in" to make sure our actions are consistent with how we would want to raise our children. I am nodding along to all your the things on your list.

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  4. Great post! It totally helps me keep in perspective.

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  5. This is exactly what I strive for. No, it doesn't happen every day. And for me I have to lose the "Mother's Guilt" when it doesn't happen. Guilt is such a wasted emotion. I love the daily quotes Sarah...

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  6. In the morning, before my boys are awake I pop on and see if there are any new blog updates on my google reader and I am always so excited when yours pops up. Your thoughts always hit home and make sense. And today you inspire again. And I love reading your posts before I start my day!

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  7. A good day to me means having been patient and attentive. And, I don't mean carrying out their every wish immediately. I mean, coming in an actual 'minute' when I say I will. It's keeping my cool, having heart to heart talks about behavior instead of over-using time outs. It's the days I can keep a positive outlook and attitude- it spreads like wild fire.

    Your picture is so sweet and the quote...Mother Teresa gets me every time- right where I need it. Thanks for this post.

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  8. I thought and thought and thought what I would give up for lent. I decided last night that I read way too many blogs that, at first, make me feel exhilerated with all the beautiful pictures and travels and professional accomplishments of others. Then I get that little "I want, too" monster in my head.

    I've given up blog reading for lent. All except for yours since yours keeps me focused on the important things of who I am: a good mother, a good wife, and a good friend. I am a provider for my family even if I don't bring home money.

    (This is difficult from a former bread-winner of the house . . . and a blog-reading addict.)

    Even though I say "thank you" almost everytime I post, I really do mean it in its simple truth: thank you. :)

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  9. Completely the opposite of my post today. Some days, mothering is just keeping your head above water long enough to make it to bed that night. And knowing that that's okays sometimes.
    I love your perspective on this. I'm going to to try to have today be one of your good days.

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  10. I love the quote by Mother Teresa. My best "mom-days" are when I am "there," as in the situation and present. I am not thinking about our schedule, what needs to be done, etc. That is when I feel at my best!

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  11. I love this list!!! It's what I strive for as well. And it makes me feel like a pretty good mom. Thanks! I manage to do most of things. Not ALL the time, every single day but I manage. :) I love that photo of you and your son. Cute!

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  12. One of my best mommy moments was a few years ago when I woke my son up for school and as I was walking out of his room he said "Mom, you're the best mom I could ever ask for." I'll never forget it.
    Thanks so much for stopping over at our blog. I love it when the people visiting write a little something because it gives us a chance to visit a really great blog we didn't know about such as yours.

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  13. Another great quote from Mother Teresa!

    I agree with these thoughts. I've really got to work harder at the raising the voice part. It seems that if I can keep that one in check, then so many other great things can happen in the day.

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  14. Man I agree!!!! It really is the little things...that mean sooo much to them (and me too!) And yikes! I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself to not raise my old voice :( ugghhh :( I'm reeeeally trying on that one! And wow!! I just love Mother Theresa :) Have I told you that you are the first blog I check now!!! Even before I check my email...it's you I read about!!! Thanks Sarah! :) Wonder how many times today I will get told I have something on my forehead???? heee hee Not a ton of Catholics here in Oklahoma ;)

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  15. Love your list!!!! P.S. I mentioned you in my blog and have a little "Beth Moore mantra" for you. Blessings!

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  16. Love the check list - thank you!

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  17. Wow. This is a wonderful post. I am just amazed at what you write. The wisdom, the understanding, the clarity and the rationality of this motherhood trip.

    Your kids are so blessed to have YOU as their mother. Thank you for always coming up with a great post. You inspire ... you brighten my day ... you teach ... it's the little things that are actually BIG things. THANK YOU.

    Diane

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  18. I love those kind of days. Why are they so hard to have?? By the way... I came looking for your post on How To Cure A Funk. I need that one today and can't find it. Help!

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  19. Sarah thank you for the tips on the 40 bags from yesterday. It makes it much less overwhelming. Another beautiful post. I just have to keep thinking simplify, simplify, simplify, and I will remember what is important.
    Take care,
    Dana

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  20. Your such a cute mom! Yeh for motherhood!

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  21. I agree to all of those tips.... you are a wonderful inspiring mom. That photo of you is precious. You radiate happiness from within.

    :-)

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  22. I admit many times, when my head hits the pillow, I don't feel like I did a good job as a mom. I feel like a good mom when I see my kids doing something nice without being told...I think you are a fantastic mom!

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  23. From Mother Teresa's quote, we could all take that phrase as a mantra "Face [each day] with greater love", no? I mean, if we really want them to do that in their lives, we need to be the examples, right? Each goal on your list is an example of great love.

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  24. That was a great list. Thanks for keep me in perspective. Your blog is so inspiring!!

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  25. 1 and 5 are tough sometimes. That dang dummy box. I should just toss it out. Although yesterday and today we have done so great at limiting. Thanks for the reminder on number 1. Working on it daily. :)

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  26. Beautiful! Thanks for sharing! I have many of the same thoughts for what a 'good' day is!

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  27. I totally have those days too. I think, oh I was not a good mom today (especially after bringing home my second baby). But then other days I am able to reflect and think we had a good day. I love the TV one. I feel very good when the TV is not on and I was able to get down and play. Really play!

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  28. I love your list. Especially the go outside one. Something about it...whatever the weather, really can change your mood.

    You inspire me to be a better mom...a lot.

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  29. so so true!! Thanks for the reminder!

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  30. Sarah .. I love what you think and what you write about and all that you share... What a great momma..mommy you are and a great example to so many. This post has made me think all day about what makes me feel like a good mom too... Thank you! It is easy to caught up in the "thick of thin things..." as we go about our days and we miss the really good stuff ...the things that make the biggest difference in our lives and the lives of our children. You are wonderful..

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  31. I read this post Wed night after a very long, hard day as a mom. It had me in tears because I was in a funk of a funk as you have talked about before and I honestly don't think I could have answered yes to any of your above. I do love your list though and on my good mom days agree with all of them (okay,maybe not the tv one...we all need our Max & Ruby fix around here :) Thursday night was mine though and it's amazing what a trip to Target alone and coming home to a clean house, kids in bed and the dishwasher running can do for a mom's soul...keep up the awesome posts.

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  32. That is exactly what makes a good mom day for me too. Thanks for putting it into words and posting the reminder.

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  33. Thank you for sharing this! I want to be able to check these off at the end of the day with my 3 children (4, 3 & 9mo.) too! I already printed this out to post for awhile as a fresh start and good reminder. I can get stuck in a rutt of being "busy". I'm new to your blog, and wanted to thank you for your honesty. It seems like a great way to also hold yourself accountable and make you a great mom too! Good Job!

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  34. I love every one. You have to have goals and expectations if you want to be the kind of mom you want to be! Seems like you are a wonderful one!!

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  35. I just started reading your blog and you have helped me understand many things I want to change about myself and how I parent. I love to read about your calmness and love for your family and it is so encouraging to be influenced (even if through a computer) to sit back and evaluate myself instead of trying to fix everything else first. Thank you for your honest thoughts and inspiration!

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  36. Have I ever told you how much I love you? Well, I do. Thanks for all you do to uplift and strengthen mothers, Sarah.

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  37. I thank you for this. I needed it tonight. I knew that by coming here I would find the inspiration I was looking for (your blog is like a parenting Bible! and I know you don't mean it that way but boy, heaven knows how you have blessed my life, Sarah).
    I would love to meet you someday.
    (and by the way, my husband and five little children all know of Sarah at Clover Lane too! :)

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