Clover Lane

Thinking:
About how sad it is when older kids leave for college.  I never really realized the deep sense of loss and even mourning that follows that departure, and maybe with the first two it was just busy for me to notice (or I probably ate chocolate to stuff it all?).  It really is a grief process.  When I talk to my friends who are experiencing the same, it is also a time of deep reflection and a little too much of that reflection probably.  Did we do enough?  Do they know how much we love them?  What should/could/would we have done differently?  Were we too tough or not tough enough during the high school years?  And mostly...
WHERE THE HECK DID ALL THOSE YEARS GO and WHY DOES TIME FLY?  I look at their baby pictures as I walk down my stairway every day and my heart aches for those days when we were all together in this house and worries were small.
I think maybe it is even weirder for me because I still have little ones here and the truth is-you just do it every day and you don't really think about the time.  And you never ever will get it all right and never ever do it perfectly and never ever appreciate every minute because that's all so impossible.  You just do what is best and what your life can allow to happen at the time.

Playing:
We always have a puzzle going in winter, and the kids latch onto a game that the whole family gets into.  Here are some of our favorites.  This year it has been Monopoly-just the old-fashioned one.  It has really helped the younger kids understand money and finances too-yuck! :)
The rest of our favorite games are here.



Reading:

Please know that if you are home full-time with your children, you will never regret not missing the days.  I know some days are overwhelming and difficult and you never seem to be able to catch up.  I know there our days when you might be wondering if it is worth the self-sacrifice and all other kinds of sacrifices too. 

From someone who has been there, I can tell you it IS worth it.  If you made the choice (sometimes having to trust that the monetary sacrifice will work out in the end) feel good about not missing these days-not giving them to someone else, who could never appreciate them as much as you will.

Bask in it all-the sweet, and the not-so-sweet and yes, even the the dirty diapers.  Know that you are doing exactly what God wants you to do, and it will pay off, if only in knowing you gave your most precious treasure the bulk of your days.  It is NOT easy, but it is so so fulfilling, and I wouldn't trade those days of little ones home for the world. 

Your children want YOU.  They want your time and they want their home and they want attention and love and consistency and cuddles and they need to be taught discipline from someone who wants the best for them and cares deeply about their future.  We have come so far sometimes in the opposite direction, in knowing our worth as mothers.   It's not always about us, and what we want, and our goals, and our happiness.  We can find happiness in the deep gratitude of knowing we are caring daily for treasures we would trade our lives for-happiness is not found out there, it's found inside, if we are attentive in counting our blessings.

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

Thinking:
November is the month to put the practice of gratitude to work.

I have learned so much about the difference that pure, true gratitude can make in my life these past couple of years.  It is easy to say "I am so thankful for this or that" when everything seems to be going ok.  But what if life sucks?  Really-there are times in everyone's life where it seems like everyone else seems has it easy but us and our nice plan of how life is supposed to look (and wouldn't we ALL choose rainbows and butterflies?) blows up in our faces and the "why me's?" set in. 

I listened to a podcast where someone gave the example of two very different experiences-on one side was a person who seemed to have it easy-a great childhood, so much learning and opportunity and a chance to experience this and that, and another side-someone with hard things that happened and tough circumstances with family members and painful experiences, and then asked the audience, "Which life would you choose?"  The kicker was both of those stories came from the same person-it was the way they chose to look at their life that made all the difference-it was the way they chose EVERYDAY to think about life.  I visualize it as the choice between taking two paths-one is bitterness and discontent and always a yearning for something easier and more and better than what we have, and the other path is Jesus holding our hand, walking along with us and helping us see the good in every circumstance and all our blessings.

Remember there is always a person who would jump into our spot in life in a heartbeat, even with its tough crosses.  There is always someone who has it worse off right now and would change places with us if they could. 


Playing:
This is one of those years when I really feel the need to soak up Advent as much as I can.  (If anyone has a great Advent devotional to suggest, I am looking for one!)

I have been doing some online shopping with the plan of being all finished with the errands and hustle and bustle before Advent sets in.

Here are some lovely gift ideas I've purchased along the "something to wear, play with and read" line of gift-giving:

I just couldn't resist this outfit-loving this line of clothing for little girls!


Girls's Dress
Girl's Leggings


A cute princess dress up dress with an the all-the-rage unicorn applique.


40% off this ATV City Lego set!



A pretty and inexpensive Iphone case.



A "keep it simple" make up organizer.


Cutest little kitty coffee cup. (They have a bunch of other animal choices.)

Reading:




Just finished this EXCELLENT book for our book club.  It's a fast, easy read with a little mystery involved.  Just a really good coming-of-age story about a girl who raises herself as an outcast in the marshland of North Carolina. 

1. Epsom salts at night have really made a difference-the magnesium helps, and the lavender scent.
2. Lavender essential oil-I learned this during yoga class, at the end, when our instructor gives us a cloth that smells like lavender to put over our eyes and I almost fall asleep.  I really want to lay there for the rest of the day but that is probably not allowed.
3. Citrus essential oils and diffuser for the daytime.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE this.  It smells like summer and like 'clean' at the same time.
4. A super warm hood so I can walk outside and get some exercise.
5. Vitamin D.

I found a cozy blanket at TJ Maxx and some running gloves at Costco (they aren't warm enough though-I think I need mittens?).  I am still working on finding some good magnesium supplements.

I also found the CUTEST winter clothes on Amazon of all places, for Janey (after giving up on Gymboree :(.)  I wish I would have spent more time online shopping (I feel like I am always way behind on the trends-Costco, grocery pick up, etc...I always end up saying "This is genius!")



Reading:
Janey is beginning to read on her own and she is SO proud of herself and it's just so exciting.  I love that little "click" when they get it.  And it's happened at all different ages for all of my kids (and had no bearing on how well they did learning in the future!!!).  It's just such a wonderful thing to witness.


Patrick is reading all these books at once (which drives me crazy, but one is for school and one for home and one he and Jeff are reading together-Resistance is about WWII, so pretty heavy material.)

Thinking:
It's already too cold.  I need to go up to the attic today and hunt for the winter things I pitched up there with anger and spite at the end of last winter.  I am vowing here in public to not say ONE thing about the cold weather, and how it hurts all the parts of my body (it really does!), about the lack of sunlight and dark clouds and gray sticks in the sky (I'm getting it all out now) until April 1 when it's all over (or at least there is hope in the wormy smelling air).  It is particularly scary for me this year, because of the hell of last winter and the memories that are triggered by it.

If you have the same feelings about seasons other than summer, can you please tell me what makes you happy and feeling good and energized and positive in the winter vs. depressed and gray in pallor, and full of cabin fever and dried up like a frog without water?  How do you combat cabin fever besides moving to Florida for three months, which I plan to do as soon as I am able?

Thank you.  And thank you for all your sleep advice.  I put a LOT of things in my Amazon cart and will ponder them all-I can see myself sleeping smeared with magnesium oil, reeking of lavender, with a sleep mask, under a weighted blanket in a completely blacked out room all winter long and am looking forward to it.

Playing:
I've had a few little guys over to my house lately and they have all loved playing with this track.  It's so much easier to clean up then the tracks with all the little pieces that fit together.

Reading:

Our favorite Halloween stories:

Love has only one meaning, self-giving sacrifice.
Doing something for someone else-even when we don't want to,
even when every fiber of our being tells us not to-
is the true definition of love. 
It's no wonder Christ said that the greatest act of love
is to sacrifice your life for a friend.
It all comes down to giving yourself away.