7/20/15

Encouragement For The Week

Oh give me patience when wee hands
Tug at me with their small demands.
And give me gentle and smiling eyes.
Keep my lips from hasty replies.

And let not weariness, confusion or noise
Obscure my vision of life's fleeting joys.
So when, in years to come my house is still
No bitter memories its rooms may fill.
unknown
(saw this on melissa's blog)

7/17/15

Ordinary Days


It really needs to stop raining!  I love a good summer thunderstorm, sometimes those days where it is rainy and cloudy are welcomed here, but our backyard has been a swamp all summer long (the mosquito's are wicked awful) and although the rain makes for green grass and beautiful flowers, it hasn't really felt like summer at all.  And the poor farmer's fields all around us-I feel funny complaining about it when their livelihood depends on this rain stopping!

(photo credit to my Matthew)

School supplies are in the stores, and although it made me feel ill (really it did) and I had to replenish a few things, and I just love when crayons and markers are under $1.  I can't resist.

We make these every week.  Matt has taken over the responsibility.

This plant was lush and thriving at one time, but obviously the attack of the Sahara, Woodland, and Desert animals all at once left it quite diminished.

We enjoyed our family reunion earlier this month.  



My grandparents lived here as long as I knew them, and raised nine children (the oldest is my mother.) 

These are many of the great-grandchildren on their front porch (which has thankfully stayed in the family).  I think there are 58 and two on the way now, from the forty-four grandchildren those nine children had.

I have been contemplating so much since the reunion. Mainly sentimental thoughts, along the line of how things change so quickly, how the culture unknowingly can push and pull us along.  Change is inevitable I know, but I wonder if in our busy daily life here in 2015 we can recognize the cost of not resisting some of it.  I think of my grandmother raising nine kids, my mom remembers some really tight times, and what "tight times" meant back then and what it means now and how different those two are, and how we don't really want to admit that.  I am thinking of the value placed on material goods, versus relationships, or family life, and how that effects the choices we make.  I had a conversation with a friend about how busy parenting just a few kids is now-if we let it be, and we have let it be, can we always choose otherwise?   Half of it self-inflicted, some of it there is no getting around, it is what it is, we conform.  

I came to no profound conclusions or even a peace about it all, but I know that my life is rich because of this family, because tremendous value is placed on family life, and the love and care of children.  I am so grateful-for my unchanging Catholic faith that I was born and formed with, and I treasure it and respect it deeply.

I do know that family is the backbone of society, and if we don't treasure it and respect it also, and support and sacrifice for it, there is nothing that can take its place and the first to suffer is the weak, the innocent, and the dependent (all those little faces above).

Once strong family life disappears, I can't see it coming back, because brokenness has a way of repeating itself in generation after generation-there will be no structure for support, and that structure needs sufficient strength-the strength that comes from strong sure values based in faith, based in strong close loving marriages, based in aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents supporting and teaching and guiding and loving. That strength needs to be unwavering among the times and trends that come and go.  There is no replacement for family, history has proved it, our present times are proving it now.

When families are strong, they help not only the weak and struggling and sick and hurting in their own families, because this is life-we are all going to be those things at some time in our lives, and will need the mending and consoling and building back up offered to us-they also have the time and resources to spend it on service to others. That is what I see as a core underlying current in this family I am proud to call my own-service to our spouse, our children, each other but also service to country, service to community, service in day to day life.

I give thanks to my grandparents for that, and my parents in turn and take seriously passing on this legacy to my children.  I try to remember to pray daily for the strength to do so.


7/15/15

On Mother Mentors



Lately I've been thinking of the importance of having mother mentors.  I have a handful of them, and I will forever be grateful that God placed them in my path.  I know them in person and I witness the way they parent and the joy they find in their family. Some are relatives, some are friends I've met through our church or school.  

I was thinking of what they have in common with each other;

-They don't have perfect kids, because no kids are perfect.  But they take the responsibility of raising good kids-they have children (or young adults now) with a work ethic, children with manners, children who respect authority, children who are welcoming to others, children who are kind.  They have strong sets of values.  They teach their kids that they have a responsibility to their parents and to society as a whole to be a contributor. They keep their children young-no growing up too fast as the culture would dictate today.  They have a strong belief system. They place value on children in general, and teach their children a deep respect for life. 

-They spend most of their time with their children.  They enjoy doing so. 

-They are almost all a little older than I am, and have kids that are a few years or many years ahead of my kids-they have journeyed further and therefore have a broad view of what really matters.

-They would humbly reject that they should ever be anyone's mentor, or that they ever knew what they were doing.  But they are, and they did-because they started out parenting with a sense of what was right and wrong, and an innate sense of the truth of what a child needs.  So even when they had pressure from the culture, they knew "this is the way we do things in this house".   They seemed to not be interested in ever "keeping up" with what anyone else was doing.  Home is the center, the axis, the foundation of all that is good, and parents were/are there, cultivating that "home base".

When I am feeling overwhelmed, or maybe I had just entered a new stage of parenting these are the moms I go to with questions.  Questions as trivial as household systems management (meals or laundry) or as big as navigating the teen years. It is so nice to have the reassurance and reminders, to continue on the course, or to take the other path, or to get a little boost of confidence when I have needed it and felt unsure of what I was doing.

7/13/15

Encouragement For The Week

7/10/15

The Most Delicious Garlic Bread


A little twist on the normal recipe I use for garlic bread.  I serve this often as it fills up hungry boys.

1 baguette (or any kind of bakery bread) sliced lengthwise

Mix together:
1/2 cup (or 1 stick) softened butter
1/4 cup of mayo  
3 cloves of garlic, chopped (I use chopped garlic from a jar)
about a half dozen fresh basil leaves chopped
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese


I honestly don't measure any of these ingredients, I just estimate, and it's never turned out anything but delicious. 

Spread mixture evenly on bread. (There should be nice thick layer.)


Leave open, and bake at 400 degrees for about 10 minutes or until golden brown..


7/8/15

Support For Moms With A Colicky Baby



Someone recently wrote to me to ask about colic and survival tips.  Here is my letter back, and I'm hoping it will help others:

Andrew (my fourth) was colicky all day, and I mean all day.  And Janey (my sixth) wasn't easy either-they both were like glue all day long-the difference with Janey was that if I nursed her she would stop crying, and Andrew wouldn't want to nurse (or take a pacifier) because he had reflux so it was so hard and heartbreaking and frustrating and SO draining.  There is nothing more heartbreaking than not being able to calm an inconsolable baby as a mom.

I remember with Andrew that probably six weeks had passed and I realized that he was probably not touching me about two hours (fastest showers ever and a few little breaks from Jeff who was busy with the three older kids who needed attention from a parent) the ENTIRE six weeks. He was either in the sling on me, or in my arms, or on my chest at night.  I cried a little every night from the stress but I wanted a baby so badly, and after two miscarriages, I wasn't going to specify 'easy' or 'hard' baby to the Creator-I just said "a baby" and I was so so grateful my wish was granted.  (There is a gift in loss-a deep deep appreciation for what I will never take for granted again.)

Here's my advice:

THIS TOO SHALL PASS
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Hang that on the fridge and say it one hundred times a day or night when needed.

Summon all your courage, all your patience, all your strength, all your energy, and just get through it.

Andrew is the sweetest, smartest, most caring, loving boy ever, and I thought for sure I would be "in for it" for the rest of my life-like colic was some indication of his intensity.  It's not!  It will stop one day, you just have to ride it out and get through it and you won't be left with a troubled child or ax murderer in it's wake.  You will be closer and more in touch with that baby-it's extra bonding time and a beautiful close loving relationship with develop from all that angst.

A few things that sometimes help-

Wearing a sling because if gas is a problem you can keep them more upright and burps can come up easier.

For some reason putting on music helped us not go out of our minds during the pacing periods.  Beatles and Rolling Stones-I figured out these both had a strong heart beat background and cranked them.  You Can't Always Get What You Want and Give Peace A Chance, go figure.  But it worked to get us into a rhythm of at least walking the floor or distracted us all.

Bouncing gently on the exercise ball helped with movement when I just couldn't pace anymore.

If breastfeeding is involved, be very careful of dairy products. Try not eating one single tiny bit of dairy for at least a week or two and see if it gets better, I know with my other four babies not eating any dairy (so hard without pizza and ice cream!) really helped.  It's worth a try.

Andrew had a reflux issue.  I tried a medication at the advice of our pediatrician but it did nothing, and I felt awful forcing it down because it was horrid, so that solution was crossed off my list.  I could hear a clicking hiccuping noise in his throat after nursing and then the milk would go back down. (I have learned this is called "silent reflux".)  

I have decided that it was just something he had to outgrow.  I have found that although it's worth it to try to find if there is an allergy or something more serious, sometimes it is, what it is and we just had to ride it out. Sometimes (often) there is no magic answer!

I accepted that all I could do is hold him-even if I couldn't stop the fussing or crying, he would know he was being held and comforted and loved and that had to be enough for both of us.

My three older children at the time became very independent and that was a good thing.  They had to do things by themselves and help each other out-from making lunch, to getting dressed, etc. The other thing that happened which was such a gift-I learned what really mattered.  My priorities realigned themselves so quickly.  I learned to say no with no guilt and without a doubt.  I dropped just about everything I was doing before-I knew that this baby and my family needed me during this intense time and no one else mattered more.  I consolidated all my errands into only the most necessary one-stop shop that I could get by with per week, when Jeff was home.  Even just performing the necessities of life were difficult-like a shower, and getting dressed, and fixing food for the family-I dropped down to the nitty gritty until we got through it.  (And learned that we all functioned on a slower pace-I kept up that habit of saying no more often and less errand running!)

I had no idea having a colicky baby was so so so difficult before I was blessed with one.  But heck it made me stronger.  I equated it with running a marathon every day, and therefore can cross 'running a marathon' off my list of things to accomplish. :) I said after the whole experience, "If I could survive that, I can do anything!", and I still feel that way today.   

7/6/15

Encouragement For The Week

7/3/15

Grilled Mini Sweet Peppers


One day in the grocery store, I couldn't resist buying this big bright bag of mini sweet peppers.  I had no idea what I was going to do with them-I doubted any kids but my oldest (who eats anything and everything) would eat them plain.

I decided to throw them on the grill with some chicken that evening.  

I took off the green caps, threaded them on wood skewers, brushed them with olive oil and sprinkled them with some course kosher salt.  I left them on till they were just slightly soft and had some pretty grill marks on their sides.

They were delicious and gone in seconds.