Wednesday, July 15, 2015

On Mother Mentors



Lately I've been thinking of the importance of having mother mentors.  I have a handful of them, and I will forever be grateful that God placed them in my path.  I know them in person and I witness the way they parent and the joy they find in their family. Some are relatives, some are friends I've met through our church or school.  

I was thinking of what they have in common with each other;

-They don't have perfect kids, because no kids are perfect.  But they take the responsibility of raising good kids-they have children (or young adults now) with a work ethic, children with manners, children who respect authority, children who are welcoming to others, children who are kind.  They have strong sets of values.  They teach their kids that they have a responsibility to their parents and to society as a whole to be a contributor. They keep their children young-no growing up too fast as the culture would dictate today.  They have a strong belief system. They place value on children in general, and teach their children a deep respect for life. 

-They spend most of their time with their children.  They enjoy doing so. 

-They are almost all a little older than I am, and have kids that are a few years or many years ahead of my kids-they have journeyed further and therefore have a broad view of what really matters.

-They would humbly reject that they should ever be anyone's mentor, or that they ever knew what they were doing.  But they are, and they did-because they started out parenting with a sense of what was right and wrong, and an innate sense of the truth of what a child needs.  So even when they had pressure from the culture, they knew "this is the way we do things in this house".   They seemed to not be interested in ever "keeping up" with what anyone else was doing.  Home is the center, the axis, the foundation of all that is good, and parents were/are there, cultivating that "home base".

When I am feeling overwhelmed, or maybe I had just entered a new stage of parenting these are the moms I go to with questions.  Questions as trivial as household systems management (meals or laundry) or as big as navigating the teen years. It is so nice to have the reassurance and reminders, to continue on the course, or to take the other path, or to get a little boost of confidence when I have needed it and felt unsure of what I was doing.

17 comments :

  1. you have been one of my mother mentors and i will be forever grateful!

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  2. Ditto to Stephanie! Thankyou for sharing your wisdom online...xx

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  3. This is the first time I've ever read your blog. This post is perfect! We have just started a mom's group at our parish and we will be reading this at our next meeting. Thank you!!

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  4. Even though I don't know you in real life, you are one of my greatest mother mentors. And I'm so thankful I somehow came across your blog years ago. In fact, I found your blog before I even had kids, but I was longing for them. And I just started reading your writings and learning all about motherhood. I am so grateful for your mothering wisdom and heart, and that you have the courage to share your real thoughts and are not swayed by what society says is popular. I feel very alone in my mothering journey, and I'm so grateful for you.... you have made me feel much less alone. Thank you for being such an amazing example of a loving mother.

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  5. You are my biggest mother mentor, Sarah. Can't tell you how many times each week I think to myself, "How would Sarah handle this?"
    I can never, ever thank you enough and explain how much of an impact you've had on my mothering to my 3 boys.

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  6. I have several mothering mentors I know in "real" life. However, I am so grateful for your online presence. I have gained so much wisdom from your words. Often, on a hard day, I will come back to some of my favorite post on your blog.

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  7. One of the reasons I am so thrilled to find you blogging more again!! You are one of my great Mommy inspirations!! Thanks!

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  8. YOU are one of my biggest mother mentors, even though I only know you through your blog! I'm so happy you're blogging regularly again. We all need to hear what you have to say!

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  9. Ditto to all previous comments.. And I'm older and have more kiddos than you. We can all learn new ways;) so glad you're back!

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  10. YOU have been a mommy mentor for me for years. I am so grateful for stumbling upon your blog many years ago. I am so grateful for the the advice I find on your blog, and I am so appreciative of the many emails you have answered for me regarding middle school angst, budgeting and menu planning. Thank you so much for being such an inspiration!!

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  11. Just like everyone before me has stated, you are a great mother mentor. I have gained so much from your writing. Thank you for sharing your passion with us.

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  12. Ditto again to everything above!!! My husband even knows who I'm talking about when I say Sarah :)

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    1. Thank you to you all. My mentors are all yours then, because they are my guides in all this. There are many a day I have had when I hope and I pray that I am being the mother I am supposed to be and sometimes feel like I come up quite short and have no idea what I am doing-I'm sure you all know just what I am talking about. But thank you.

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  13. And you have been a sweet mother mentor to me! Especially with your wonderful perspective on the littlest ones and the precious early years. ( I still remember something you wrote just before my youngest was born, a few years ago something like " babies deserve to rock our worlds for a little while" ) Thank you!

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  14. I agree with everyone who wrote above. Thank you Sarah for being a mentor to me!

    I have been thinking about your first point so much this last month. Mostly about the idea of teaching our children that they can respect authority and that they are responsible to something other than themselves. I feel like these things are becoming a lost virtues in our culture. I came across this quote by Charlotte Mason that I thought was interesting because it seems like it is the norm around me!

    "Who has not met big girls and boys, the children of right-minded parents, who yet do not know what must means, who are not moved by ought, whose hearts feel no stir at the solemn name of Duty, who know no higher rule of life than ‘I want,’ and ‘I don’t want,’ ‘I like,’ and ‘I don’t like’? Heaven help parents and children when it has come to that!"

    I also really enjoyed reading this article: Piety-Where Education is Grounded. The author is talking about a book I have not read, but some of her ideas really have me thinking. I have also been reading "The Abolition of Man" by CS Lewis...and I only understand about 1/4 of what he is saying (sigh!) but it is such interesting stuff on this same subject.

    Here is the link to that article: http://afterthoughtsblog.net/2015/07/piety-education.html

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  15. I've never commented, but did want to say thank you to you. Your advice is true wisdom. Your simple thoughts and ideas like waxing leaves in fall, going for a walk, cleaning the house to get out of a funk, being patient with a crying baby, simple cooking ideas to keep the family going, etc... have been a blessing to me.

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  16. You have been a mother mentor to me over the past few years. Thank you for your example and words of encouragement. :-)

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