6/2/20

Empathy And Motherhood




I am guilty. I am guilty of never imagining what it would be like to send my sons on an errand, and to be nervous about the hate they could encounter walking out the door, down a street and into a store. I’m guilty of never thinking what it would be like to constantly remind my teenage sons what to do if they get pulled over when driving-I expect fairness and safe encounters with those in power. I am guilty of never imagining what it feels like to be a mother whose child comes home crying because of cruel comments made about the color of their skin, or being treated differently in a classroom because of something as trivial as that.



I am guilty of being naive enough to think that the problem is small and rare instead of large and constant. My own privileged children have educated me on my naivety as they are more tuned in than I am and I am humble enough to listen and to not just hear them but to take the time to empathize-which means to stop and FEEL. Feel that weight on my shoulders that NO mother should ever experience - that weight of fear that every black mother must feel when raising her children.
That weight should not exist. Not today. Or ever. God knows raising kids today is difficult enough.
It starts at home. With talking and listening and learning and teaching.
Empathy is the key to kindness I believe-teaching the ability and skill to really imagine walking in another’s shoes no matter what the issue is-and taking that into the journey of life, along with a very strong set of values for right and wrong-for justice and consequences for our failure to abide.
At the base of those values is respect for others.
We mothers can change the world starting in our own homes. What power we are given as women! To change the world. Let’s use it. For the sake of all mothers everywhere, it is our duty.
I am guilty of being naive enough to think that the problem is small and rare instead of large and constant. My own privileged children have educated me on my naivety as they are more tuned in than I am and I am humble enough to listen and to not just hear them but to take the time to empathize-which means to stop and FEEL. Feel that weight on my shoulders that NO mother should ever experience - that weight of fear that every black mother must feel when raising her children.
That weight should not exist. Not today. Or ever. God knows raising kids today is difficult enough.
It starts at home. With talking and listening and learning and teaching.
Empathy is the key to kindness I believe-teaching the ability and skill to really imagine walking in another’s shoes no matter what the issue is-and taking that into the journey of life, along with a very strong set of values for right and wrong-for justice and consequences for our failure to abide.
At the base of those values is respect for others.
We mothers can change the world starting in our own homes. What power we are given as women! To change the world. Let’s use it. For the sake of all mothers everywhere, it is our duty.


5 comments:

  1. Thanks for your empathy and your humility here, Sarah. Much more is needed -- all across the country.

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    Replies
    1. All across the world, I dare say.
      Sending love and blessings from Dokkum in The Netherlands.

      Jeanneke.

      Delete
  2. It's hard to imagine. We are so wrapped in protective layers that we don't even know are there. When my oldest son was 6 there was a problem with a neighbour. It was serious enough that my son was afraid to go outside, and we moved away. But imagine if there was nowhere to move to? If it was everywhere...it's painful to even imagine, let alone to experience.

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  3. Thank you Sarah. We need to learn and LISTEN. A Catholic friend shared this and urged all to read it. 100% worthwhile and soul-saving. Let's do the work.

    https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/assumptions-white-privilege-and-what-we-can-do-about-it?fbclid=IwAR3Xf_1v3Y0e2MjutPlt7noyjU6ss4dgbcHj4fo-yg2xLtfkpSgEEsCo930

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  4. I just want to let you know how much I love your blog. You are truly an example of what it means to be a good woman, a good mother and a good homemaker. I have followed you through the years and have gained so much from your blog. Thank you for writing.

    ReplyDelete