Thursday, October 10, 2019

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Two things:



Even if it's just $10.  Please!  She had triple negative just like me and it's back again and that is a nightmare...for every cancer survivor who went through hell to get healthy again, and for every mother diagnosed with cancer, especially a cancer like triple negative that is aggressive. 

Wearing a pink ribbon isn't enough.  We are all aware of breast cancer.  This is the way to help.  To support someone just like you, who is going through hell.

Second:
Don't think it can't happen to you, like I did.  I had NO risk factors, the opposite of risk factors.  I had a clean mammogram.  I never did breast checks because I didn't 'have' to.  And I was always pregnant or nursing too so it seemed silly.  My lump grew from undetectable in January to golf ball sized in October and STILL I only felt it when I lost 10 pounds.  I am SO lucky I caught it when I did and truly it is LUCK.  I was only 48 years old.  No family history. 

And I only am a "survivor" by pure luck.  I did nothing to survive, nothing anyone else wouldn't have done.  Showed up for chemo, and cried my way through it.  Got thrown on the cancer train one day and stayed on till they let me off a year later.  I was lucky that I had people encouraging me and the best friends ever and parents who offered to trade places with me and served me hand and foot and a doctor who I loved who didn't let me jump off that train even one cold day in January when I said I was done and not doing it anymore. 

Survivor?  I deserve no accolades for it and feel guilty when I hear that word.  Luck.  Period.

I don't know that I am ready to write about it all because I still live in fear and gratitude and anger and trauma and it seems like ages ago and then something will trigger it and it floods back.  Did this really happen to me?  I was going through Abbey's art work trying to find a picture to frame and I saw the photos she took of me and I look like hell, a stranger.  That was last week and I am still shaking from just seeing those photos.  My little Patrick-he takes it the hardest, and it was so scary for him.  For all the kids.  It does change your life and it does make you see more of the little things-that is the good part but not worth it.  I was a grateful mom anyways.  I didn't "need" cancer to see the little things.  It's just plain unfair all the way around.

There are lessons in hardships-I know that for sure.
I know I can survive anything.
I know that cancer is more than a rah-rah ribbon and pink t-shirt and booby jokes.
It is shitty.  That's the only word I can think of to describe it.


11 comments :

  1. Just donated - so sad. Thank you for sharing her story and part of your own, Sarah.

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  2. Thank you, Sarah.
    I donated and will offer prayers as well as my Holy Communion this weekend for her and her beautiful family.

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  3. I just donated too. Thank you for sharing her story. I still pray for you and your family every night.

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  4. God bless you and Stephanie, Sarah! I donated as well and will pray for this family.

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  5. I also appreciate hearing more about your own story and thoughts. Totally understandable that you would not want to think or talk about it, though.

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  6. Sending prayers to all.🙏🏻

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  7. My friend Rebecca is fighting Metastatic breast cancer. She is trying to raise awareness and funds about metastatic breast cancer, since over the last 40 years the statistics for women with MBC hasn't improved. This week she is encouraging individuals and families to walk, run, hike, bike, etc. from Oct 12-19th and for every mile they compete to donate $1 to metastatic breast cancer research at Huntsman Cancer Institute. Every donation gives 100% to finding a cure.

    millionformetastatic.com

    Thank you for sharing your story and raising awareness for other women.

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  8. Dear Sarah, thank you for pouring your soul for us! I am forever grateful for you!! ❤️
    I totally agree with your point of view regarding luck. In my religion - orthodox - they say luck isn't godly, so when one is healed they say "Thanks God!". But what God is that that heals some, while crashing others? I've seen too many suffering, to say "Thanks God!" anymore... Luck is the correct word.
    All the best for you!
    ��������

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  9. I hate cancer. I hate that you had cancer. But you know you have been one of my angels and examples and inspirations as I've gone through my own breast cancer journey. I'm glad you are real about it in this post.

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  10. Thank you Sarah for sharing my story and yours. was in complete shock when I got the diagnosis as my family was too. I like you have great family support. I am still not able to drive because I have not had a clear brain scan yet. You are right, living with cancer is hell. I have to go daily to the clinic for a shot so I can never escape it. Then there are insurance companies you have to fight. I worry about my kids and husband who are taking it pretty hard. But the one thing I told myself is that I am going to fight like crazy and stay as positive as I can. My kids do not deserve a sad mom and I want to make wonderful memories with them on my good days. I pray that the chemo and treatments give me many many years with my family. So day by day is how we take it in our family now. No more really big plans in the future and I think I tell my kids 10 times a day I love them. I am glad you are doing so well and if you ever want to grab a coffee let me know!

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  11. Cancer is so scary and I am so sorry you had to go through it. It seems more and more people are getting cancer when they don't have a family history of it. 20 years ago 1 in 20 were diagnosed with cancer. Now it is 1 in 8. Honestly I think that because there have been so many chemicals that have been added into the products that we use on a daily basis that it is affecting our health. Chemicals that have not heen tested for safety. All our personal care products where we apply the products to our skin (our largest organ) can really affect our health. Unfortunately you can't relie on terms like natural or organic since there hasn't been a major federal law regulating the personal care products industry since 1938. If you are looking for a company that really takes all of this very seriously please check out Beautycounter. They have a Never List of over 1500 Ingredients that they will never use in their products. Plus they are working really hard to change change the laws that govern the beauty industry. If you have any questions about them please let me know. Take care!

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