Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Ordinary Days I Miss You

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.
Let me learn from you, love you, treasure you, before you depart.
Let me not pass you by in quest for some rare and perfect tomorrow.
-Mary Jean Iron-

I just wanted to give an update-I didn't ever intend to abruptly stop blogging but I felt in my heart it was time.  I don't know that I have anything else to say, and I feel like God might be calling me in other directions but now is not the time to make that decision.  Thank you so much for all your kind emails and comments over the years and I have loved the friendships that have developed (kindred spirits!) through this avenue.

But also why I've been absent-in October I found a lump in my breast quite accidentally.  I never did self-breast exams because I thought since I had no risk factors to speak of, that was one cross I wouldn't have to bear in my life.  But I found a lump one day-and found out soon afterwards that it was cancer.  A rare kind of aggressive breast cancer (triple negative) that spreads and grows quickly.  I had a "good" mammogram in January but the lump was large enough to be obvious by October.  I just finished 16 rounds of hard core chemo and will follow up with a couple surgeries and hope to avoid radiation but that will be determined later.  And then I will continue to do a lot of praying and deep breaths and crying and doctor appointments and pray pray pray that it doesn't come back.  Because I really love life.

I meant to write this post several times but just couldn't.  I still don't know if I am doing the right thing by sharing it since it seems like a very very personal private journey.  After a cancer diagnosis like this, you feel like cancer takes over your entire life.  And it does really.  And I can't tell you how many times I have said, "I want my life back.  I don't even remember who I am and what my routine was like."  Many times I just don't want to talk about it.  The mirror reminds me every day.  (Never complain about your hair!  Hair is wonderful and keeps you warm. :)

Here are a few things I have learned and would like to share:

1. My breast surgeon told me that the week I was diagnosed she had two other women around my age (48) in the office with  same "rare" diagnosis as me-NO risk factors to speak of, healthy fit women who "did everything right". No one gets a free pass from breast cancer. Check your breasts every month.  Go to THE BEST hospital with the best equipment every time you need a mammogram.

2. If you feel off in any way with your health do not neglect finding out why.  I had been exhausted for close to a year or more and should have taken more time to find out why.  Maybe it had nothing to do with cancer, but maybe it did.  Don't give up on getting answers even if it is hard to find the time to do so.

3. Treasure your days.  You never know how life will change.  Slow down.  REALLY slow down. Although I have talked endlessly about doing that on this blog, I was a hypocrite in ways, because I was a bundle of energy and stress trying to do too much sometimes even if just for my own family.  I have realized I process stress terribly.  I hold it all inside and have worried way way too much about things.  Don't do that.  Don't be strong all the time.  It is ok and good to cry.  It is ok to say "I am struggling with life" to your husband, your friends, or a therapist, and take time for yourself and to pray and journal and be calm.  If you struggle with anxiety, get help.  Take care of yourself. Totally reject the culture of perfectionism, competitiveness, and comparison and illusion that is so easy to find everywhere today. Get enough sleep.  Take walks.  Say no.  Or if whatever it is helps calm and center you say yes.  Grow closer to God.  Build your faith.  Take time to pray every day.   

4. Work hard to find gifts in struggles.  God Almighty, this is so difficult when you are in the middle of crap.  Really it is and some days I just couldn't (and can't).   Sometimes I would set a timer to force myself out of bed.  I have been lower than I ever have experienced in my life.  I have seen and experienced a whole other level of suffering and hope and pain and strength in that damn chemo room.  Often I have heard how strong I am-this is what you say to people facing cancer.  But I have always been uncomfortable with that, although I know it is a form of encouragement and I would say the same thing.  Let me tell you,  I have seen strength through this experience from my fellow companions in the journey through cancer.  But what does not being strong look like?  It's ok to cry your heart out, and say you can't do it (with whatever you are facing) and don't want to and be mad and angry and sometimes hopeless and desperate.

I  couldn't go to church because of low immunity and instead found a few priest's homilies on podcasts and one quote I keep on my phone from Father Ricardo (or maybe it was Father Hudgins) is, "Find meaning in suffering.  Do you see what the Lord is up to?  The greater the suffering we endure the more beautiful plan He is unfolding before us.  See it, know it, believe it."  I have read that 1000 times.  When I look back on other struggles in my life, incredible growth comes through suffering, even though it was always always hard to believe that in the thick of it.  I also think as silly as this is, of Dori from Nemo-"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."  It reminds me to just keep walking through the pain and suffering, keep praying for strength through the journey.  I have changed and grown so so much in the last six months, even though I sometimes fought against it and wished it away (and still do!) I know I have learned too many things to even list.

5. What is the most important thing in life?  Your relationships with people around you.  First with God, and then with your family and your friends.  I can't even tell you how grateful I am for the undying love and dedication I have experienced through this journey from my husband, my children, my friends and extended family and even strangers.  It has been an incredible experience that way-I have felt like I have moved up to a whole other plane of love-a perfect example of growth through struggles.





360 comments :

  1. I have read your blog for years and it broke my heart to hear this news. What a tremendous trial for you and your family to endure. I admire so much that you took the time to share these wise words even in the midst of your treatment. The "Find Meaning in Suffering" quote is one I will remember and keep in my heart. I feel your "don't be strong all the time" advice is meant for me as well. I appreciate everything you've ever said on this blog to remind me how motherhood is a precious gift, even though it is not easy. I will be praying earnestly for you and your family! <3

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  2. I am so glad you wrote about this, and not surprised at all that even through your suffering, you are teaching the rest of us. You are so good at that. Thank you for sharing your heart. Sending so many prayers from Arizona! Love you Sara!

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  3. I read your blog for so long that I almost feel that i know you and your family! I big kiss from me to you. Célia - Portugal

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  4. Broke my heart to read this. I love your blog, have read it and been inspired by it for years... am a stay-at-home mom to 4 little ones (7-6-5-2) and right now, I am totally "over" being a mom, because things are just so hard and crazy and not working... this has reminded me to treasure life, even through the tough parts. As always, you are an inspiration. Thank you.

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  5. You are a warrior ♥ Stupid cancer. You can face anything after what you 've been through. Love you

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  6. I check your blog EVERYDAY to see if there is a new post. Words can not express how sorry I am for what you are enduring. Somehow, even through this, you are the one encouraging and passing on your wisdom. You are a very rare gem in today's world. Sara, you are now at the top of my prayer list. If you decide to share here again, just know that I will be checking. Love, Kathy

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  7. I've kept your blog on my favorites list...and check it every day. My prayers are with you and your family...your faith shines through you and your writing...it will get you through this as well.
    My daughter taught third grade...their character quality was perseverance. One little girl wrote "just keep swimming...just keep swimming"...my favorite quote.
    Hugs and prayers from California....

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  8. Oh Sarah I’m so sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing and reminding us all about what matters most. Prayers from Washington.

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  9. I have been reading your blog for many years, I think since my first child was a baby (he’s 7 now.) I have never commented before but your blog has been such an inspiration and source of strength to me over the years. When I need some strength as a Catholic mother of three who stays home with your kids, I come to your blog to reread. Tears fall from my face as I type this. I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and all that you have been through in pursuit of treatment. May God grant you the strength to make the best of this journey as tough and unforgiving as it might be. And thank you for all your honesty and for bravely being an example to those like me who have really needed one over to these years.

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  10. I'm here crying reading this but at the same time I'm inspired, as always, by your faith in God. I have followed you from the beginning and your words, experience, and wisdom has helped me through many tough days as a mom. I am sure this post was very difficult to write and I thank you for sharing the information and sharing your life with us. You and your family will be in my heartfelt prayers. May you continue to find your strength in God and from the support of all of those who love you.

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  11. I have been following your blogs for many years and I had decided that you were too busy with your family to continue. I am so sorry to hear this and will be praying for your healing and recovery. Much love from Texas.

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  12. Oh Sarah!!! I am so heartbroken to read this! I am a fellow SAHM of six and I have found so much comfort and inspiration from reading your blog. I was so excited to see a new post from you and so saddened as I read. Thank you for sharing your journey with us and allowing us the opportunity to pray for you and your family. Please know you have an entire community of women who love you and are praying for the very best outcome for you!!

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  13. Oh, I am so very sorry to read this. I’ve missed your blog and thought about your words of wisdom many times. Please know of my prayers for you and your family as you walk through these challenges.

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  14. I feel so sad to hear about your struggles. You are such a light for me and I have learned so much from you. I am praying for you and your family. Sweet Janey!! You can get through this!

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  15. You are a treasure Sarah! What a blessing you are to your family and to so many women. You speak real and honest and always manage to point everything back to Jesus. I am praying for complete healing over you.
    Hugs and love from California : )

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  16. Sarah,
    May the Lord be with you, and give you peace.
    Your post broke my heart and I am so sorry for this. I will pray for you and your sweet family.

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  17. Long time reader. Thanks for sharing your life once again, and providing that inspirational perspective you always have--now even from one of life's lowest places. My mother-in-law is three years post-chemo and surgeries with the same triple negative diagnosis. To say it is life-changing is definitely an understatement. I am so sorry that you are in the midst of this--lots of prayers and love from southwestern Ohio.

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  18. Sarah, I am so sorry to read this! Though you have no idea who I am, I have thought about e-mailing you on a weekly basis for the past few months as I've worried about why you might not be blogging (I thought of you through every Michigan basketball game!). You certainly have my prayers. Is there anything else that we, your loving readers, can do for you? I hope you might still post short updates occasionally so we can know how you are doing and what to pray for. You are such a treasured gift to all of us!

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  19. I begin reading your blog when I was pregnant with my first (6 year old now) as a stay at home mom of three your words have brought me encouragement to continue doing what I am doing. Having a child with Autism sometime I lose my patients and on hard days I reread your blog. I can't imagine how hard this is for your family. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  20. I don't know what to say but please know that you are in my thoughts. I have wondered how you are, how your sweet family is doing. This space has been a blessing to me. Thank you for sharing yourself through this blog. You have the support of untold numbers as you navigate this journey.

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  21. Sarah, Thank you for posting again and sharing. We are with you in this journey.
    We pray for you. Much love. I too have been a long time reader. I continue to be inspired by you.
    Thank you.

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  22. I am so sorry to read about what you have been going through! I just thought yesterday about how I hadn't seen a blog of yours lately and I hoped that nothing was wrong. :( As others have said above, you have been such a mentor to me through your blog! Your words were always such an encouragement especially when it comes to not getting caught up in the "rat race of motherhood." I have also adopted your chocolate chip recipe and it is the absolute best and I think about your family when I make them! Please know how much we all treasure you and your wisdom and how much we will be praying for you and your beautiful family in the months and years to come. May God bless you and we will pray for healing.

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  23. Sarah, I have been reading your blog for so many years and as I Catholic mom with seven kids roughly the same ages as yours, I have always felt such a strong connection. Your words have meant so much to me on days I needed strength and I know so many others feel the same way. Next month will be three years since I found the lump in my breast and now that I am on the other side of the blur of doctor's appointments, treatments, and hospital stays, I send you all of my strength and prayers to power through and beat this beast of a disease.

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  24. Your blog has filled me with strength and inspiration for so many years! I have never commented before, but my heart is with you today. I will forever be grateful for your wisdom and for the way you blessed so many lives with it.

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  25. Sarah, it seems easy as a Catholic to believe in redemptive suffering but is so much more difficult to accept suffering when it actually occurs to us. I will be praying for you and your family. You have given so much inspiration to so many, I hope that others provide that for you.

    God bless you.

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  26. I've read your blog for years but have never commented before. Our lives are so different, but your blog has always been a source of peace, wisdom and strength for me. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. Love and strength to you in this time of suffering.

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  27. Sarah, I'm so sorry to hear about this unexpected chapter of your life. I've been wondering about your absence and am so glad to hear your voice and feel your strength again, although not under these circumstances. Thank you for letting so many of us be a small part of your life. You are so loved!

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  28. I’ve read your beautiful words for several years. I know we don’t know each other, but I send you all my love. Your words have made me cry, smile, and cherish all my moments at home with 6 kids. Love you!

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  29. Oh Sarah! I have thought about you and your family SO often these past few months -- wondering if there was a reason you weren't blogging.
    I was hoping you were just busy loving life with your 6 kiddos... I'm so sorry to hear this news.
    Thanks for the update, for your encouragement, and for all the wisdom you have shared with me over the years. We will keep you and your family in our prayers. Hugs!

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  30. Dear Sarah,
    I have been a long time reader of your blog for years. I feel as though I know you. And though you don’t know me- your love of the Lord, motherhood, and family has been a comfort to me so many times that I can not even count... Through many hard days (and nights) as a young mother, you held my hand and encouraged me to savor the moments, love deeply and unconditionally, and let go of the things that don’t really matter. I have cried many times reading your sweet, wise words when they were just exactly what my young mother’s heart needed to hear. Thank you, dear friend.
    Reading your news today has broken my heart. And yet, I am not at all surprised that through your suffering, you still continue to teach us. God has given you an amazing gift with your writing...thank you so much for using it all these years to share your wisdom with us. In the meantime, I will be praying for you every day. For you, your family, your doctors and nurses. If I only knew you in person and lived close, I’d come make a meal for your family, or help with carpooling your kiddos, or fold your laundry...I wish I could do something to give back to you. But I can be a prayer warrior in your corner, and I promise I will be.��
    May God bless and keep you.
    Kelli

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  31. Love to you... We've never met and I don't even comment on your blog posts, but I've been reading and enjoying them for several years and have always found them comfortingly "quieting" in my parenting journey. The world is so loud... and you have a great way of always bringing to the forefront what really matters anyway. This will probably sound creepy, but I've wished we were neighbors. I think our priorities are very similar and you are a person I would love to know better. I am so sorry for this hard, hard chapter. Crying as I read about it... =( I want your life and posts to be filled with kids' activities and home remodeling and decluttering and baking cookies with your mini me, not fighting for your life. =( =( =( I will be praying for you and your family. God is still on His throne and He is still the Healer. I pray He will grant you many more decades on this earth to praise Him and to enjoy your children. Lots of love!!

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  32. Dear Sarah, Your blog has been a huge influence in my life and I am so thankful for everything you have so generously and honestly shared here over the years. I am so sorry for your suffering. May you return to your beautiful ordinary days soon. Love and prayers to you and your family.

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  33. I lost my Mom 10 years ago-and have been reading your blog almost as long. You have been such a help and support to me-across the internet. I'm weeks away from delivering my 6th baby-your quiet and peaceful encouragement has meant so much to me. I will be praying for you, and hoping to hear again about the beauty of Ordinary Days. Thank you for being a spiritual mother to me.

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  34. Sarah:
    This must have been so hard for you to write. Thank you so much for sharing. Like every one else, I am shocked and saddened to hear this news. I have been reading your blog for years and have forwarded it to so many other moms because it's always so full of wisdom. I will keep you and your amazing family in my prayers.

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  35. Dear Sarah, I have been thinking of you just this week. We will lift you and your family in prayer, friend. 💕

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  36. Please know you are in my prayers. A mormon mom that I met years ago shared your blog with me and I have taken so much of your mothering wisdom to heart. With peace, Mea

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  37. I am so sorry about your news, Sarah. I've read your blog for years and you are my absolute inspiration as a mother and a wife. I reference back to your words often. Of course all of your readers will understand, but please know how much of an impact you make on so many people every day. Lifting you up in prayer.

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  38. Dear Sarah,
    Like many others here, I feel like I know you and have loved your musings on the blog for many years now. Hearing of your present sorrow has touched me. I am a 47 year old Catholic mother of six. Please know you will be prayed for in my daily rosary and at Holy Mass often. "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and those crushed in spirit he saves." Psalm 34:18

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  39. Sarah, like all the others above, I have read your thoughts in this space for years and years. I have taken your advice on mothering, connecting with God, saying no, planning meals, simplifying - the list goes on and on. You are a true gem in this bleak world. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I pray your body can withstand all that's being asked of it. I know your soul is stronger than any trial. Sending love from Utah.

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  40. I’ve followed your blog for so many years and never commented. My baby is the same age as your baby. Thank you so much for sharing. I work in a cancer center with women who have breast cancer and you’re right - it does not discriminate. Your story will inspire others to monitor their health. Wishing you strength and good health!

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  41. Thank you yet again for sharing your journey. You're brutal honesty and love for your family brings me to tears. Sending prayers and love your way from North Dakota.

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  42. I have followed you for so many years. It is weird but I feel like we are friends! I have always loved seeing the pictures of your children. This cancer fear is real. I had a biopsy. Life is so precious. I just cannot imagine leaving it ...ever! But...our home is heaven. Hard to imagine but we are not guaranteed a long long life. I hope you get better. Thank you for sharing. Praying for you.

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  43. Sending you and your family the very best of wishes.

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  44. Sarah,
    I too have been strengthened in my motherhood journey by your wise words. Thank you for that and for sharing your love of God and family with us. I will be praying for you and your family.

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  45. Sarah,
    Prayers for you and your family. I have loved your blog for many years. I love all the wisdom of motherhood you have shared over the years! Your toy recommendations are always the best and most loved and treasured toys! Thank you for sharing your love of God and AND ALL the other tidbits of life. Thanks for sharing this difficult part of your journey.

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  46. I to would check every week to see if you had posted. I am sad to hear this news but know I will pray for you and your family. Although my children have been grown for a long time I marveled how you raised your children in this day and age. I lost my husband in January to a Glioblastoma brain tumor a very aggressive tumor. I am still trying to make sense of it. You are very brave woman. I thank you for sharing as cancer is a nasty word we never want to hear.

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  47. So very sorry. Thanks for sharing this update. Best wishes for a full recovery.

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  48. Thank you thank you for sharing this. I had wondered what happened to you. You were still in my sidebar. I thought you just were busy with life as that is enough to keep us busy. I will place you in my prayers. Everything you have said is wonderful advice.
    Praying for a full recovery and for your family!!!

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  49. I don't know what to say but wanted to let you know that I am sending my love and thoughts all the way from New Zealand. I have been reading your blog for many, many, many years and it has changed me in ways I cannot thank you enough for. I wish you the best on the continuation of your journey xoxo

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  50. Sarah, my prayers are with you and your family. I have been a long time reader and even though our lives are so different, you have been an inspiration. In my faith, I have often heard that collective good wishes and prayers reach the god’s ears faster and hope that is the case as we all pray for your good health.

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  51. This is under my Husbands name but its crazy how we were in Seaside FL over spring break and I kept thinking of you and your blog. I have not sat down to really read blogs in awhile but I read it regularly for years. Life has just gotten busy, but your blog always brightened my spirit and helped me see the joy in motherhood when they days of motherhood can just wear you down. I pray for you and your family. I wish you best recovery.

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  52. Sarah, Like so many others, I have read and cherished your space here for years. I have been inspired by you in so many ways. My heart aches for you and your sweet family. Please know that so many people are lifting you up in prayer. May God give you the peace that only He can provide. I will offer my Holy Eucharist at Mass for your complete healing and peace in your heart. Hugs.

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  53. Dear Sarah,

    I'm also a long time reader, who rarely comments. I too have missed your blog posts and wondered how you were doing every time I saw your blog name in my Favorites list but no new posts from you. Know that so many of us (unseen) readers are praying for you and thinking of you.

    May God bless you and keep you and your family.
    Lisa in Minnesota

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  54. Sarah, I do not know you but you have given me so much advice over the past few years regarding toddler times (which now seem so silly) and I am honestly heartbroken to hear this news. You have been such a source of inspiration in my motherhood journey - I hope you know how special you are to so many whom you have not even met! I will be praying fervently for you - and adding you to our church's prayer list. My heart aches for you and your family - hugs and prayers today and every day forward!

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  55. OH SARAH! look at all this love. we all have missed you so much. so many prayers as your body continues to heal. and for your family as they continue to love you through this.

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  56. You have been such an influence for many thru your beloved blog. We, your blog followers, will keep you and your family in our prayers. We pray for healing and that your days are returned to the "ordinary" asap. :)
    Vickie
    Tallahassee, Fl

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  57. Sarah you have touched our hearts.......this must have been so difficult for you. But by sharing your your story, and being courageous, we can share our love for you and tell you how much you mean to all of us. You now have all these extra prayers and loving thoughts being sent to you, that will give you even more strength, comfort and peace and wellness. I will light a candle for you ......Blessings always and thank you for all you have given to your faithful readers.......love...dolores

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  58. Sarah- My heart dropped when I started reading your post. Like so many others, I feel like you are a friend. My prayers for you and your family.

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  59. I am so sorry. I don't even know you and I feel like crying because I FEEL like I know you. Thank you so much for your blog postings. (I have been missing them.) I have learned so much from you, and reading about your experiences as a wife and mother has strengthened me in my resolve to be a good wife and mother. I hope you will keep your blog open even if you don't post to it anymore (I hope you will change your mind, but I understand.) I will keep you in my prayers and hope for a good, strong recovery so you will have more time with your family.

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  60. Sarah, I am so sorry to hear this. I’ve been a longtime reader and your absence was felt in my daily blog readings. I assumed you were busy with your kids; I never dreamed that it would be due to illness. You and your loved ones will be in my prayers. ❤️

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  61. You will never know how much your blog means to me. You inspire me to be a better person, wife and mother. And I am scheduling a mammogram.

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  62. Oh, my heart, Sarah!!! I’m so sorry you’re having to walk through this trial. I’ve read and loved your blog since my oldest (now 10! ��) was a baby. I’ve always loved and appreciated your perspective and wisdom. I figured your blogging had stopped because family life is just busy and more important than any blog. I never expected this, and I’m so, so sad and sorrowful for you and your family. I will pray for all of you! Thank you for the update. I’m sure it is very hard to share.

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  63. I am so sorry to hear this! Nahum 1:7

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  64. Sarah, I am so sorry to hear that you and your family have been going through this. You have inspired me through your blog for years and have truly helped shape what kind of a mother I am. Even while sharing your difficult news you were able to share so much wisdom. I will take your advice to keep my life slow and without stress and with the right priorities in place. With love, Leigh in Colorado

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  65. Sarah, I am so sorry to read your news. I had wondered why you hadn't posted for such a long time, but thought you were just taking time to be with your family.

    I am 55 years old, and 6 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Like you, I didn't do self check ups, as a matter of fact I had never even had a mammogram until I was 49 and the lump was discovered them. I thought since I didn't have any of the "warning" signs and thought I lived a healthy life, I didn't have to worry about it. I know you must have felt the same way, having your children, breast feeding, and living a healthy life. My surgeon said the same thing - its really a disservice to women to say that if you do "all the right things" you don't have to worry about getting BC.

    From reading your blog over the years, I have seen you grow in your faith - maybe that was preparing you for this battle. I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you and your family will find healing and strength. Breast cancer is just such an unfair thing. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. You are a wise wonderful strong woman and I hope you know how much you have influenced so many of us. May God bless you and your family!

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  66. Sarah, I got my mammogram done today. It's been quite awhile, and this evening I checked on your blog and found this New post which has already been read by at least 63 other people! Some of whom have gone through the same breast cancer as you are! Amazing! I'm glad you are willing to share this much, and encourage each of us not to compare ourselves with others, and to speak up when we feel bad so we don't carry worry and anger and stress around inside of ourselves. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know what we are going through, and the Holy Ghost can come and dwell in our hearts and comfort us as we "keep on swimming...keep on swimming."
    I want to share a poem my grandmother, Edith Wiseman, wrote:
    Today
    I will forget what happened yesterday,
    Then I can hold no grudge.
    I will not worry about tomorrow,
    For the morrow I cannot judge.
    But I will be mindful of today,
    Being cheerful, come what may.
    Recognizing power divine,
    I will conquer...this day is mine.

    I pray that you will be able to keep living, and able to enjoy your family for years to come. Your friend,
    Ruth

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  67. Oh my! I never expected to read this. I am so sorry you are going through this. ((HUGS))

    Jamie

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  68. There are no words. Praying that God surrounds you and your family with His strongest angels. God love you all.

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  69. Sending prayers for your complete healing. I've learned so much from you.
    In hindsight, I can say you were right about limiting technology- the only other time I commented here. In a way, I was just arguing with myself I think. Sorry for that. An iPhone was the worst thing that ever happened to my then seventh grader, you were right. I have thought many times about telling you this. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your life - you have put so much goodness out into the world - I hope it comes back to you a hundred fold. You will be in my thoughts, be well.

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  70. Dear Sarah, I am so terribly sad to read your news and pray for your full recovery so that ordinary days are all you have to experience. I’ve been reading your blog for almost seven years and no doubt that you have inspired me and mentored me as a mom more than anyone else. There were times that I thought that I wish my daughter will read your blog one day when she becomes a mother. I will be praying for you and your family and hope that you will find the peace to one day come back to share better news. Thanks for everything! Lots of love! Rachel

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  71. I used to tell my sister "If I lived in the same neighborhood as this woman I know we would be best friends" Long-term follower here....so sorry to read this post. I had been checking in with the blog, missing your updates. I will be praying for you, Sarah. You bring many gifts to many people. You are going to be surrounded by, and lifted up, in prayer. I hope you will feel it.

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  72. This news completely shocked me. God bless you and your family!! You have been a blessing to me many times (especially when we lost our Caleb 4 years ago and you took time to reach out personally and were so encouraging.) I hope you will keep blogging sometime, but if not, please know how much your words have influenced my mothering for the better. May you be carried through this time. Lots of love! Also, that picture of you and Janey is absolutely stunning ❤️

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  73. Oh Sarah! I wish we would have known! So we could have added our prayers for you !! But the Lord knew and I know He sent the right people to you as you needed them!! I will be praying for you in the time to come~ and we miss your blogs~ but we understand!!!! If you feel you can't do this anymore~ Don't. I don't typically do a word of the year, but over the last year and a half, I have strongly felt the Lord stress "Simplify" to me...and I even hear that a lot from other people in my circle and other bloggers... I think the Lord is trying to slow us all down a little...life is short, even at it's longest. We need to focus on our people and Him and the rest will fall into place. I hope your next report is glowing and this is behind you!! Blessings Sweet Sarah!!!

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  74. I am heartbroken to read this! For your kids, husband, family and most of all, you. I am so sorry and I will pray for you and your family!

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  75. I have followed your blog and have always enjoyed it. I am in shock by your news and will pray for you and your family.

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  76. Dearest Sarah: NOW I KNOW why you have been on my mind so much recently! I would always look for updates and worry what had happened. Now I know how to pray for you. I am so glad you let all of us out here in blogland know — God bless you in this epic struggle, and please know many of us out here are cheering you on as you fight the good fight. Your sentence “Because I really love life.” sums everything up so concisely. You want to live and love. ((Hugs)) from Michigan.

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  77. Well this breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing so we can pray for you.

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  78. Oh dear, I'm so sorry Sarah. I have been reading your blog for years and years, in fact, your blog is the only one I still subscribe to. Your perspective on the joy and beauty of motherhood have been soothing to my soul. Thank you for all that you have shared with us. I will be praying for you. -Sending love from Wisconsin

    But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. -Isaiah 40:31

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  79. Much love to you, Sarah. Big prayers from Oklahoma.

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  80. Sarah-I am a 31 year old mother to two young children. I found your blog a few years ago and have been coming back to it over and over and over again. I think I always will. I don’t believe in coincidences. I thank God for the day he put your blog, and all your wisdom in my path. Your words have served as a guiding light for me as to how I live my life, raise my children, and love my family. I have been checking this space daily wondering what happened. I am so sorry for the hardship you have and are going through. Sarah, I am praying for you and your beautiful family! Thank you for being brave enough to share such personal news.

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  81. Sarah, I’ve been thinking and praying for you. Thank you for the update and for, once again, sharing your wisdom. I am a better mother and person because of you. Don’t dwell on the scary triple negative. You can beat this. Put your energy into your family and winning this fight.

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  82. My heart broke when I read this post. I’ve been reading your blog for years and I can’t adequately put into words how much your words have helped me navigate the challenges of motherhood. Your soulful thoughts and opinions have guided and encouraged me. I’ve learned so much from you, I continue to learn from you, I am inspired by you. Know that so many people here love you and will be praying for you, including me. Peace be with you and your dear family. God bless you.

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  83. Dear Sarah,
    You and your family will be in my prayers. Your words of wisdom have been priceless to me over the years, starting with my oldest when he was a baby (he’s now almost 9!). I have read and re-read your posts on motherhood any time I’m feeling overwhelmed or like I need a sense of direction. When my two sisters and I have discussions about parenthood or remaining sane during baby/toddler years, advice from a past blog post from “The Clover Lane lady” comes up almost every conversation. I cannot thank you enough for the encouragement and inspiration you have given me and countless others.
    My heart is so incredibly sad to hear this news about you and your suffering the past months. Thank you for writing and sharing this chapter of your life so that we can all pray for you. We love you and your family. 💗

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  84. You are a warrior. A beautiful, strong, amazing warrior. Sharing this news with us couldn't have been easy. Thank you for doing so anyway. You are loved. So loved. Many prayers coming your way with hopes of healing and health.

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  85. Dear Sarah,
    Thank you for sharing your difficult journey that you have been on these past months. I’ve really missed reading your posts. I’m so sorry to hear about this. As a woman of faith I too know that through suffering we grow. I’ve been on my own journey for the past 4 years with a health diagnosis that I didn’t see coming. It does take over your life. I appreciate your last paragraph about what is most important. I truly believe that more than anything.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Love,
    Shirley

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  86. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Love to you and your family during this time.

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  87. I am truly so sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time.
    Your blog has been a huge Inspiration to me over the last years. I will Keep you in my prayers and hope that you recover as quickly as possible. Love to you and your Family!

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  88. Just wanted to wish you all the strength you and your family need during this time. <3 Unfortunately there's not much more I can do, just wanted to mention that I've always loved reading your blog, I just want to thank you so much for all those stories. And secretly I hope for a time when this is all in the past and you're coming back to write many more. :)

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  89. Many times I have thought how grateful I am that I have opportunity to read your blog while living so far. Many times I wanted to write you an email of thank you, but never did. Thank you for sharing your life, your ordinary days, your experience and thoughts even in such hard time. Could not read through this post without tears, can't even imagine how hard it must be for you. Prayers and love from a small country of Latvia.

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  90. I am so glad that you chose to share, Sarah. It IS a personal journey, of course, but now you can add our voices to prayers lifted up for you. You and your lovely family will be in mine every day. I hope you feel it. Thank you for all the joy reading your blog has brought me over the years ... now at least I can do something for YOU! God bless you and give you strength and peace as you walk this journey. xoxo (PS ... I love Fr. Riccardo's podcasts, too).

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  91. This news makes my heart heavy. Thank you sharing this news with us. I will pray for you and entrust your healing to our Lady.

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  92. You have always inspired me and you continue to do so with this post.

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    1. Praying for your comfort and healing.

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  93. I'm going on retreat and will be praying for your full healing. Thank you for sharing your story!

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  94. I’m not yet a mum, though I do hope to be one day. I’ve enjoyed following your blog for years, watching your family grow and being encouraged by your writing. Thank you for sharing as now we can be praying for you and your precious family. xx

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  95. I've followed your blogs for years, and was just recently thinking of you. My heart goes out to you, and I pray for your relief and return to normalcy! I have loved the wisdom you've shared that has helped me through young motherhood. ❤️ Thanks for sharing, you are not alone!❤️

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  96. Oh Sarah, my heart goes out to you. Like many others, I'm a long-time reader (starting back when you were pregnant with Janey) but have never commented. I'm a working mom of 2 and am not particularly religious, but I love your blog and your approach to mothering. It gives me strength to do what I know is right for my children, even if it's not what 'everyone else' is doing. Thank you for sharing your news with us; I hope very much that you will be back to your ordinary days soon. Sending love from Australia.

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  97. Oh, that sucks!! Praying for you and yours!!

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  98. Sarah - I am a long time reader and have never taken the time to post a message before. I am sending you many many prayers across the country. May God bless you and your family.

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  99. Dear Sarah, sending you much love and support. You are a beautiful soul and I am very hopeful that you willl have many years of health and happiness ahead. Thank you for sharing your personal journey and insights. Much love, Jan

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  100. Thank you for telling us about this journey you are now on. I was really missing your posts. I am praying HARD for you to be healed in God's name. He is mighty and powerful and all knowing of our needs and desires. He can heal you and I pray for you to experience a full healing. Praying for strength for you and your family. I wish there was more I could do.

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  101. I am so saddened to read this. I am praying for you and your family. Thank you for sharing b/c now so many more people will be lifting you up in prayer.

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  102. Oh, Sarah... I wish I had the right words to say what I'm thinking right now... but I don't think there are any words.

    I have missed reading your posts. I was thinking about it the other day and I've been reading since my twins (now almost 11) were babies... probably since they were 1 or 2? Thank you for all you have shared. It has meant a lot over the years.

    You are in my prayers. I wish there was something else that I could do... but I am praying and I will continue praying. I'm sending you SO much love.

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  103. Thank you so much for sharing and being vulnerable. I have checked in on your blog many times in the last months and figured you were "just busy". Cancer sucks. It sucks for you and all of those who dearly love you. If you have the energy, I don't believe you are out of words. I think this may be a new beginning. You have been such an encouragement to me as I mother my children. I don't think your days of encouraging and mentoring are over. Many women may not have cancer, but they all have struggles. Thank you again for sharing.

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  104. Thank you for sharing. Many readers can join in prayer. I know I will carry a prayer for you and your family.

    Thank you for sharing over the years. You are wise. You have blessed me and my family. Your approach to motherhood rocks.

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  105. Sarah, I am so very sorry to see this. First, I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts and your beautiful family with us for all these years. I am a long-time reader and am so grateful for your wisdom. Even though we're the same age, you're so much wiser than me and have served as a sanity check for me for years. My friend reads your blog, too, and in our conversations about parenting we sometimes find ourselves saying, "Well, Sarah says..." :) I have already prayed for you and I will keep praying for a full and permanent recovery. There really are just no words right now. Just praying for you and your family. I know many others are, too, and I hope you feel it.

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  106. My heart is breaking for the struggle you’ve been through. I refer to you as “my Catholic friend”. Even though we have different religions, it was you that taught me that truth is truth, regardless of religion. You have a talent for seeking truth and sharing it in a way that it sinks into people’s hearts. I will forever be grateful for the advice you have shared through the years. I will be praying for you and your family.

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  107. I am praying for you from Croatia, Europe.

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  108. Sarah, I have enjoyed reading your blog for many years. In addition to your wonderful words of encouragement and wisdom concerning motherhood, your recommendations are always a hit and truly appreciated. I am sending positive thoughts your way. You can do this! Virtual hugs to you and your family. May many ordinary days fill your future.

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  109. No no no no. I just can't accept this. I am so sorry for the suffering you have been through. Please Lord, cure this beast and let it be just a painful memory in the healthy years ahead. Sarah, I wish I could hug you right now, I love you and will be your prayer warrior!!!!!!!!!

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  110. Sarah- I am heartbroken for what you and your beautiful family have been and continue to endure. This news has shaken me, even though we've never met. I've loved your blog for many years, and I look up to you in so many ways. We have so much in common, I almost feel that we are distant friends;) The picture above of you and Janey absolutely kills me, and perfectly expresses that beautiful, unconditional love that you are talking about. I am praying, and will continue to pray, for you and your family. God is the Divine Physician! He can heal all things!

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  111. Oh Sarah..
    I am just crushed by your news. Your blog has brought be so much peace and confirmation over the years especially making the decision to stay at home when my daughter was born over 8 years ago. I lost my father to cancer when he was 42. ( I was 17) I always thought that was our "great tragedy" or "cancer card" if you will, until my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer this October. You will be in our prayers. Thank you for always being such an amazing role model to us all.

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  112. I have loved your blog for years. I don't know many sahm's in real life. I'm made to feel less than by so many of my working friends /aquaintances. Thank you for yrs and yrs of encouragement and advice and wisdom. I'm so very sorry for your cancer diagnosis and I pray for you.

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  113. I am so very sorry to hear this news. You are such an inspiration to me. I learn so much from you. Your blog has been my favorite for awhile now. I will be praying for you!

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  114. I'm so sorry to hear this. :( Love and prayers from Ohio

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  115. My Dear Lord, when I saw Janey's eyes in the picture, I knew....
    Sending love and blessings whilst praying for courage, strength and hope for you and your husband and children, Sarah.

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  116. i will keep you in my prayers please let us know how you are doing as often as you are able to

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  117. I'm so sorry to hear this, and will be praying for you faithfully. That photo of Janie... I will be praying for all of you.

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  118. Terrible news. Thank you for posting. I pray these many comments you receive will bless you, but more than that I pray for you to be well, and for the cancer to be gone so you can get back to the business of those precious ordinary days.

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  119. This just broke my heart. As a young mother, you have been a source of inspiration and encouragement to me as my family has grown from one baby to (currently) 4. I love your perspective on and obvious love and respect you have for motherhood. Please know that you will be in my prayers and I will be praying to all "my" Saints for their intercession.

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  120. Thank you for the love, insight and wisdom that you have shared with us through the years. You have influenced my mothering in so many positive ways. Your thoughts have caused me to reevaluate the way I mothered and change things for the better. You are an inspiration to me. THANK YOU! I will be praying for you and your sweet family.

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  121. I have checked and rechecked your blog over the past few months to see if you posted an update and just did not expect this news. I thought you were taking a "purposeful break from the internet" due to everyday life. I expected you to come back and share all the things you did while you were away, not that you have been suffering. Thank you so much for sharing this and for even finding the strength to offer advice. This news made me burst into tears even though I don't even know you. Please take care of yourself, we are praying for you. I wish I had the words to help.

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  122. I don't even have words for what I am feeling...I just looked up your blog yesterday because I have not been active on reading blogs since Christmas and when I saw that you had not posted since then, I got a funny feeling...I checked back today not thinking there would be an update and there it was. You and I have corresponded over the years a few times...the first one was about the horrible movie we both watched at parochial school about kidnapping. Do you remember?! I am heart sick to hear this...really just heart sick. I have no magic words except to say that I will pray for you and your family EVERY SINGLE DAY. You are so loved by so many people...just imagine all the prayers headed towards Heaven for you. I will be checking back periodically to see if there are any updates...sending you love.

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  123. Thank you for sharing. Take care of yourself and know that you make such a positive impact in the lives of so many people. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  124. I have read your blog for years and seen you as a “big sister” in motherhood. I can’t thank you enough for all your advice and wisdom and taking the time to write this blog through these years. You have given me hope and light. I will be praying for you to make a full remission, for your family as you all go through this battle and suffer together, and that your suffering bring grace and meaning. “ Toute est grace. All is grace.” St Therese

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  125. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  126. Praying for you! Sending love, I'm so sorry you are going through so much.

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  127. I've loved your blog for many years, appreciated your honesty, scribbled down your book recommendations and shared many of your posts. I am praying for you this morning - for strength and complete healing and fresh hope.

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  128. I noticed that you hadn't posted anything for awhile and I thought that perhaps you'd intentionally decided to take a year off. Now I know what you have been going through and my heart is just bursting for you and your family. What a shock! I have read your blog for years and I so appreciate your many words of encouragement and wisdom. Whether you decide to continue blogging or not, please know that you have truly been a wonderful example and mentor for me from afar! I am sending you love, strength, and prayers for a full recovery and long life from Salt Lake City, UT. May God be with you and your family!

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  129. I am glad you came to tell us, even though I hate to hear this news. Honestly Sarah, I feel like I, and many others, love you through this blog. And we will continue to love you as we can, through prayer, even from far away in many spots. I hope God is very close to you today and opens up your heart to some peace, love, and joy in this grueling time.

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  130. Sarah, I've been reading your blog for 7-8 years now. I have been checking on you in the last few months to see if there were any updates. I'm sorry this is the reason for the silence. I'm finally about to become a mom in October and I want you to know that I have loved all your advice and plan on re-reading it as I need. Thank you for posting here and know that I will be praying and sending positive vibes your way.

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  131. Sarah, that is such a stunning photograph. It captures the strength, beauty and vulnerability of motherhood in much the same way as your blog. If you ever change your mind and find that you do still have something to say, I hope that you will share it with us.

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  132. I am beyond sorry to hear this. Sarah, here you are fighting cancer, and still giving us love and kindness and direction! You have been a force of strength for so many of us. You have my prayers. You are a warrior. xoxo

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  133. Oh Sara! I am so so sorry! Praying hard for you and yours.

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  134. Dear Sarah, I have been reading your blog for many years and felt such connection to you as a mother of 8. My oldest is 24 and youngest will be 5 next week. You have been a beautiful example and reminder of all things that are good and wonderful as a woman, wife, and mother. Thank you for your honesty, virtue, and goodness. I will be praying for you and your family. Much love to you now and always.

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  135. Oh Sarah-I have followed your blog for many, many years. I cheered when you had Janey after wanting another baby for so long-and I am crying for you now as you fight this horrible beast. I know you are a woman of faith, and love, and I am lifting you up in prayer today, joining together with all these other people from the "blog world" along with your family and friends. I hope you feel encouraged from all the love and prayers coming your way from people you have touched over the years with your beautiful words. I am praying for Jeff, and your children, as they support you and cherish you through all of this. And I hope, very soon, that you are enjoying an "ordinary" day where the only thing you are "worrying" about is what to make for dinner. Sending love and healing thoughts from San Diego.

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  136. I was stunned when I saw this very touching photo of you and your Janey in my blog feed today. I am a long time reader of your blog. Your words have inspired me and brought me comfort through the years. Even a few laughs such as when you had enough and put all the kid’s video games in the top of a closet- loved it. God bless you and your family. I will miss your writings, but please keep us posted when you can. I will hope to see your blog again one day in my feed announcing you are cancer free.

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  137. I hope you can feel the love and support from all these comments. I have turned to your blog countless times over the years. Even searching past posts, as I say in my head, "what did Sarah say about that again?" :) Many prayers for you and your beautiful family.

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  138. Sarah, Like so many above, I have been a faithful reader for so long! I have 4 children and have found your blog to be such a source of inspiration in simplifying motherhood and slowing down to enjoy being a family. I have felt such a connection with you as a woman of faith. I will be praying for you as well as your sweet children and husband and you weather this trial. I wish there was more I could offer but know that many are surely praying for you and yours! I've often thought about you these past few months and periodically checked your blog to see if you had an updated post. My heart has been heavy since reading your post last night. May God bless you and your family!

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  139. Lovely Sarah, my heart aches for you. I don't think I could explain how much your example has inspired me over the years. You are like a mother to me, or the priceless wisdom of a favorite grandma. I'm so appreciative of all you have shared and all your encouragement. You bring so much beauty and grace to all of us with your words and I hope we can return the grace now, wrapping you tight in our prayers and support. I'm grateful you shared your suffering because you've been missed! And because if you hadn't we wouldn't have this chance to give back to you now. Many prayers for your complete healing and for your wonderful family. God bless you!

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  140. Oh my heart.... i have been reading your blog for YEARS. I know it was when my youngest was a baby... so probably about 7 or maybe more years, I'm not even sure. I never comment, but I always come back to your blog for the simplicity, the breath of fresh air, the joy it gives me. I always think about your "empty drawers" and do a little happy dance of my own when I finally have one.
    I am praying for you sister... HARD.
    I am 42 years old myself... and a mother of 4 kids. When I read your post, I felt a sudden drop in my stomach. That this can happen to any of us.
    I am praying for you and your family and also for all the lives you have touched. You are truly a blessing.
    Thank you for always writing in your blog, I know the fact that I have never commented might have some days made you think, no one is listening or reading this. But I know I always have... and by the looks of all the comments above, LOTS OF US HAVE BEEN.
    We love you, so much.
    Take care of yourself sweetie!
    Kelly Jean

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  141. My prayer at 44 after being diagnosed with breast cancer was to accept His will. It wasn't easy, but eventually I felt peace in knowing He was aware of me and my family and our needs, and that He loved us. During treatment I longed for and prayed earnestly for ordinary days. Years later when I found your blog I knew I'd found a kindred spirit. One spring day six months after I'd finished treatment (surgery, chemo, and radiation) I woke up and looked around our home and realized the walls needed to be painted. The whole family stepped in during spring break and happily helped out because it meant I was coming back from that fog I'd been in for 15 months. Eighteen years later I still crave and love ordinary days. Your journey is personal, and long, and frightening. Thank you for sharing. Your extraordinary words today rang true, just as they have on so many other ordinary days.

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  142. Sarah, Thank you for sharing your bravery with us. Keep shining your light, your bravery knows no bounds.

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  143. I have cried since I read your post earlier today, and with every tear, I have pleaded an earnest prayer to heaven on your behalf. If only we could somehow truly tell you how much you have given us. How much you mean to us. And like others have expressed before me, somehow you are still quietly and wisely guiding us-even if the lesson isn't one anyone would want to teach. I pray God blesses you and your beautiful, beautiful family beyond imagination. I was introduced to your blog years and years ago by what I firmly believe was nothing short of the grace of God. And as I have inched my way through motherhood, I have repeatedly come back to your blog again and again. And I have sent countless others to blog. And I have proudly continued to collect vintage Golden Books because with your endorsement, I knew it was an honorable thing to do. :) We are praying, praying, praying for you. And we will continue to be. Thank you for being willing to let us join you in your pain so that we, too, can lift you up to our Heavenly Father. You are wrapped securely in our prayers.

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  144. Thank you for sharing your mothering wisdom over the years, and your current cross. I'm so thankful for you, and will be praying for you and your beautiful family.

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  145. Sarah, I was so sorry to read about what you have been going through! I was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years ago and know how awful it is to have the doctor use the dreaded C word! I think you will beat this-I really do! So many prayers are coming your way from your devoted and grateful readers!!
    Prayers and hugs for you and your wonderful family!
    LaVonne from Minnesota

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  146. Sarah, I'm so sorry!! When I saw the picture of you and your sweet Janey my heart just sunk. May God remind you of His constant presence as you face this difficult journey. May He protect you and heal you and give you His peace. Thank you for sharing life with us. You truly are a gift to me and so many others!

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  147. Oh! I've been so grateful for your light and strength and love of motherhood as I've followed your blog and learned from you over the last many years. I'm so sorry to hear about this hard, hard challenge. Thank you for sharing - both the hardness and the hope. All the little and great thoughts you have shared over the years have been such a gift to me as a mother.

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  148. I echo all of the comments and sentiments above. I know God is real and I know he hears and answers our prayers. I will pray for you and send you my sincere love and hope that all will be well. THANK YOU for sharing goodness and light for so many years.

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  149. Prayers, prayers, and more prayers. I was diagnosed with NH-lymphoma when I was 22 back in 2000 and had chemo and radiation. I can relate to so much of what you wrote and it was a good gut check for me too, because honestly, I just joked with someone this morning that even though I had radiation to my chest wall / left breast due to the location of the tumor, I wasn't worried about breast cancer, because the Lord knows I have had enough to deal with in my life and that would be crazy. (And the Lord in his providence obviously knew I would read this post tonight, so yeah...I am really grieving that comment now, it is not something to joke about. I should know...I have had cancer!) And to top it off, I had lunch today with a friend who was diagnosed with a glioblastoma last week and starts radiation on Monday. Cancer sucks!!! But I know HE is in control and I am not, so I will just offer it all up to Him. Thank you for this beautiful post and please know of my prayers for you and your family!!! St. Peregrine, pray for all those struggling with cancer!!!

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  150. I just want to say thank you. You have been such an encouragement and such a grounding force in my life. When all the world around me seemed to embrace keeping kids busy, signing up for all the classes, Rush, Rush, Rush, I could come here, to Clover Lane, and hear you echoing the song in my heart—slow down, be present, love this child right here, right now. You’ve been a mentor to me, and I’m forever grateful. I’m so sorry you’re facing this mountain. My prayers are fervently being lifted up for you and your family. May our Father hold you in His everlasting arms.

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  151. Dear Sarah - I am so sorry to hear this news. I have been a reader of your blog for many years, and although I haven't always agreed with your points of view, I have appreciated your thoughtful, deliberate approach to life and mothering. (And I bookmarked your workout cheat-sheet, and gotten many useful gift ideas!). I just want you to know you and your whole family will be in my thoughts. It takes a lot to share yourself as you've done in this post and on the blog throughout the years, and I know you have touched so many people. Thank you for taking us along on the journey. I wish you healing and peace.

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  152. Sarah, I think of you each day. Like many of the other individuals that commented, I am SO incredibly grateful for all of the wisdom you have shared over the years. I re read the posts I read years ago - and search for specific ones - because they touched my heart and soul when I read them. They are encouragement and an absolute blessing as I've tried to navigate motherhood. Thank you for sharing. You truly have a special gift and I admire your courage, honesty and strength. I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now. Sending you prayers and love. THANK YOU for being a beacon of light and hope in this world. This world needs more women like you!

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  153. I've been reading your blog for a few years and treasure your advice as I am just entering the stage of motherhood with adult children. Thank you for sharing your story. Not at all the same, but I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in September and I totally understand your desire for those ordinary days. Praying for you!

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  154. Sarah, I read this this morning (if you see someone clicking on your page from TX each and everyday, that’s me!) and I just have been trying to find the words and they’re escaping me. It’s now midnight and I am still trying to find a way to describe how I’m feeling. I am heartbroken and so angry that this is happening to you! You’ve been my biggest mothering mentor and the world needs you to stick around for another 5 decades or so and I have such hope in my heart that that’s exactly what you’ll do. Thank you, thank you for checking in with us and know you’ve made such an impression on my heart and the way way I have grown up (I think I’ve been reading since about 2010 when I was in my mid-twenties with only two littles at the time) and I just cannot adequately describe how thankful I am for you. Please check in with us when you’re able and know you’re in my thoughts daily! Huge hugs, Sarah. ❤️

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  155. I cried ugly tears reading this.
    I'm still crying.
    I want you to know that I will be praying for you, day and night.
    My whole family will be praying for "the Clover Lane" lady.
    Love,
    Yvonne

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  156. Sending you love and strength from Ireland. I have gotten so much from your wise words on this blog (and also your book and toy and recommendations!). Sometimes I’ve not agreed but always appreciated the honest, straightforward integrity and love for your family that your posts radiate.

    I wish you even more strength as you deal with your treatment. And sending love to you, and thanks for your wonderful, wise blog that has helped me through the last 7 years of early motherhood x Thank you Sarah.

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  157. You have touched my life many times with your beautiful mothering wisdom and love of God and your family. I've been so grateful for your positive, uplifting corner of the internet for many years. Thank you for sharing your light, and thank you for telling us so we can keep you in our thoughts and prayers at this time. It is wonderful to see how many other people here whose lives you have also blessed. Thank you, sending love xo

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  158. Your post through the years have meant so much to me as a 48 year-old mama of 6 with the last born at 41. All my love and prayers!

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  159. Sarah,
    I found your blog when my oldest (now 7) was a baby and your words have helped me so much over the years in finding joy in motherhood and embracing all the little things. I’ve missed your posts the last several months and am crying now over your hardships the last several months. I am praying for you and your family, that much beauty will come from these current ashes. Thank you for sharing so much of your thoughts and your family with us through the years. You have brought wisdom and love to many of us, as evidenced by the comments here. Praying for God’s hand of blessing to rest heavily on you.

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  160. Sarah, I am sorry to hear this news. Your writing have been an incredibly important part of my life for many years. I stumbled across your blog by accident (something that was on Pinterest about writing a cookbook) and have been a devoted follower ever since. In fact, it was your writing that shaped our family story. When I first started reading I was a mother of one child working full-time. Your writing encouraged me to go against the norm of my family and friends, quit my job, step out in faith, and stay home with my children (which we now have 3 of)! Your encouragement gave me the gift of time with my kids that I will eternally be grateful for! Your writing has centered me through out the years, given me wonderful advice, and even led us to fantastic toys, games and most importantly books! (My favorite book is now A Lantern in Her Hand, which I learned about on your blog). Thank you for being the encouragement that I needed in raising my family. Have peace knowing that your time was never wasted with blogging as you ministered to many using the gifts God gave you! Thanks for writing this blog and helping to write my family story.

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  161. My family has added your family to our daily morning prayers. I hope that you find comfort in knowing that by sharing this your army of prayer warriors has multiplied tenfold and will continue to grow. Your wonderful blog has inspired and blessed me to be the best mom I can be and has inspired countless others as well. Now all of us can turn and send our prayers and blessings to you, I hope you will feel that and gain strength from all your fellow mothers. May the good Lord bless you with healing and peace. All my love.

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  162. Sarah,

    I too have been reading your blog for many years and have been so inspired by your messages. I hope you will continue to blog because I believe you still have so much to share and many lives will be blessed by it. I cannot begin to imagine the weight of this challenge you are experiencing but I do know that your faith in God and you family will help you through. One of my favorite scriptures is Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." You will make it through this and He will help you. Love and prayers from Utah.

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  163. Wow Sara. I'm so sorry to read that you are walking through this. My family was touched and forever changed by cancer two and a half years ago when my brother in law was diagnosed with an aggressive type. I am familiar with the "loss of normal", the "life before" and "life now", the pain, the agony of waiting for results and "for the other shoe to drop" and how it can affect a family. Sending lots of love and healing wishes.

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  164. Dear Sarah, for years and years I have dropped by your blog daily. I am reading it from Europe, and I enjoy your writing so much. So hard to read about all the suffering you have been through in the past months! Thank you for sharing your faith through this all. I will pray for you. May the Lord bless you richly, and also your husband and children.

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  165. I am so sorry to read of this diagnosis but once again you tackle challenges eloquently and gracefully. You have encouraged me many a morning when my house is quiet and the kids have left for school. I will be praying for you. May you never feel alone. Deuteronomy 3:22 "You shall not fear them, for it is the Lord your God who fights for you."

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  166. Sarah, I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with breast cancer. I will pray for you as I did when we didn't know exactly what it was you were dealing with these last few months. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 51, I fell asleep that night after repeating one of my favorite verses: "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.' (Psalm 61:2) The Lord is your Rock as well and I will pray that He will comfort, strengthen and encourage you as no one else can. I do understand many of the things you are going through in this ordeal but I can promise you this---He will never fail you or forsake you in this tough time. It's been 17 years ago for me since that day. Love you in Christ......Karen L. (South Carolina)

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  167. I'm so sorry to hear this news. I've been a LONG time follower and have missed your posts. Sending best wishes for you and your precious family to get through this difficult time.

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  168. My heart aches for you to have read this. I have long enjoyed your blog and will be praying for you and your family. Especially Janey, it must be hard for your sweet girl to understand and cope.

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  169. I remember discovering your blog way back many, many years ago. I was so excited because like you I was a stay at home mom, loved keeping a simple and orderly home and wanted my life to focus around my family. Over those years I've read every single post you've made. I have lots of favorites saved to my computer and one I even printed out (How I became undone at an estate sale (I think that was the title?) and have in a special binder of articles that have moved me tremendously. I've e-mailed you with questions on house cleaning and parenting and you have ALWAYS e-mailed me back with your perspectives and ideas...just like a friend would. I feel close to you and your family because through all this time I have seen them grow, seen your own personal evolution, and been invited into every room of your lovely home. Thank you for sharing your life. Thank you for your wisdom and your insights. Thank you for writing this final post (although I do hope that after you get through this terrible ordeal {and I believe you will get through it!} you will come back to writing on here!) because it might save a life of a reader who needs to start doing self exams or mammograms. You have always been good about about reminding me what truly matters in life and this post was no exception. I am grateful for you Sarah and my hearts and thoughts will continue to be with you and your family. Hugs

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  170. This made me want to cry. I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I pray that God will bring something good out of it. Life is so hard sometimes... Praying for you all.

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  171. Dear Sarah,
    Praise God for your witness to love, family, joy, suffering and perseverance. I, too, have turned to you many times over the years for a book recommendation, gift idea, encouragement in raising a big Catholic family, or that trusty “new favorite chocolate chip cookie” recipe (again!). You have built a sisterhood here and I wish there were a way to give some of that goodness back to you. I will pray for you and your family as you pass through this deep water, trusting always in our Lord’s perfect plan.
    With love,
    Susan

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  172. I have read your blog for years, before I was married with children. I've now been married for 5 years and we have three little ones. You have inspired me so much and I have rarely commented! Please know of my prayers. I was so very very shocked and saddened to read this news. Please update as you can, if you feel comfortable doing so.

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  173. When I popped over here and saw the photo, it pained me to see. I saw your sweet daughter's eyes and realized that she was hugging you. Sarah ... I am so very sorry for what you have had to endure. I want to thank you for the many posts you have shared over the years ... especially those that remind us of GRATITUDE. You've reminded so many to be in the moment, cherish the ones around you, and be thankful for the little things. I'll be praying for this enormous fight you will be taking on. Be not afraid ....

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  174. So sorry to hear this Sarah. I have read for a long time and never commented. You have such a wonderful perspective on life, even when dealing with an illness, and it is so admirable. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you like so many others here. xo

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  175. I am so sorry Sarah that you have to go through this. I have always enjoyed your blog; your words, advice and perspective. I'll pray for you and I will take your advice!

    Christine

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  176. You have been such a force for good to so many of us Sarah. You were the blog I often turned to for reassurance that my “old fashioned” pared down parenting was not ridiculous and outmoded. You helped me to see so much beauty in motherhood and womanhood. So many of us love you as a dear friend from afar. I hope your ordinary days come back soon, because your ordinary days inspired so very many of us. ❤️❤️❤️

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  177. I have missed your blogging so much. I have followed you for years and so I feel like you are a good friend. I cried when I read this post just as I would for one of my real life dear friends. Many prayers and so much love for you. You are such an amazing person and Mom and I can't tell you how much you have influenced my mothering. Thank you for your light and goodness.

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  178. Oh Sarah...tears. I'm so sorry. I started reading your blog 10 years ago right when I was in the thick of the baby and toddler years. I have there children and have gleamed so much wisdom from you. I've always felt like you could be my sister. I'm thankful to be able to be a stay-at-home mom, and back when they were little I felt like I was always saying no to things because I knew that being less busy was best for me and them... even though the world was preaching the opposite. Thank you for standing up and teaching the importance of being a mother. I have so appreciated your words. I will be praying for you. "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world". John 16:33

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  179. My heart dropped when reading this post, Sarah. I will be praying for you and your sweet family. May you know how loved and admired you are!

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  180. I am so sad to read this news but I am thankful you shared it so we can be praying for you and for your family every day. I have always loved your blog and it has been a great inspiration for me since I became a mother eight years ago. Your words have helped me feel at peace with myself, my calling and desire to be home taking care of my family. My family and I will be praying for you daily for comfort, strength and healing.

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  181. Oh Sarah - my heart aches for you. I have looked forward to your blog posts over the years. You have such wisdom and your words and encouragement have comforted me (and obviously so many other women) through the years. I started reading your blog about 10 years ago. I had hoped that you were just busy with your life and family. The tears streamed down my face as I read your post. As always your words are so true. We all need to slow down and enjoy the life around us. Stop looking for perfection. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. You are truly an amazing woman.

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  182. Sarah,
    I’ve been turning to your blog for wisdom ever since I was up pumping breastmilk in the middle of the night with my first baby 7 years ago. My 4th baby is now 1 and your words have shaped how I mother. You have influenced for good not just me but my babies too and I need to thank you for that. I’ve never commented before but you have been such a mentor to me and even in your own suffering you still are teaching me how to live and love well. Thank you my kindred spirit. You see the world through “old fashioned” eyes, as I do, and you have been such a force for good in my world. My family and I will pray for you. Feel our love! May the arms of our savior hold you and your sweet kids and husband in my stead. This is not goodbye Sarah! I’ll be checking back in on you. Prayer is powerful. Thank you for giving me a chance to pray for you. Love you.
    Elizabeth

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  183. I’ve read your blog for many years and it’s been my favorite, always. You’ve held up a shining light so many times for me when the world is encroaching on my family... I think “No, Sarah holds strong in her family, I can too. I’m not the only Mom holding the world back.” You’ve made me feel less alone in this parenting journey. I’m so sorry that you’ve been dealing with such a horrific trial and I’m so glad you’ve told us about it so we can hold YOU up for once (well, at least we’ll try with our love & words through the Internet). Prayers being sent your way. Please keep us updated if you have the energy.

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  184. Sarah, my heart is broken and aches for you.
    I've followed you for years. You have always been so positive and so strong about everything in your life. I cried when I read this post. We never know how fast our life can turn around. May you know how blessed you are and I will always continue to pray for you.
    Please keep us updated. We love you my dear friend.

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  185. Oh, Sarah. Please know that I am lifting you up. I am in hopes that your many readers are providing you strength and comfort now. Yours was the first blog I ever followed way back when your youngest son was a babe in arms or maybe even before. I found such comfort and wisdom in your words which affirmed my mothering even though my children were grown and out on their own. Over the years I have shared your wisdom and recipes with our daughters as I watch them raising their own children and have often been thanked for sharing your words. Hoping and praying for the best for you and that your strength and resilience see you through to better times.

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  186. I've read your blog since my youngest was a baby. He is now 8 and I am expected my fourth son. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here for so many years. I am sending support and prayers to you and your family.

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  187. Oh dear friend! I wish I knew you in real life so I could help! This blog has helped me through so many hard times as a mother for several years now. I wish there was something I could give back. We will add you to our prayers and be sending healthy thoughts your way. Love you friend. You are one strong amazing mama.

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  188. I have been reading your blog for years and been inspired to be a better Catholic, a better mother and a better person. Was wondering if something was up even in the last year really. Wondering if it was just the season and ages of your children. You are right, listen to what your body is telling you. I will be thinking of you probably daily and including you in my prayers.I have faith that your medical community will get things straightened out for you and back on track to your old life.


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  189. Thank you for letting us know what is happening to you. I had cancer last year, and my mom (who's also had cancer) told me to say to myself, "someday this will be a memory." It helped me to think about how I wouldn't always be on chemo, and just picture being alive far enough into the future that it could be a memory. I think it helped me get through. I'll be thinking of you, and I hope you keep us updated.

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  190. I am so, so sorry you are going through this! I am sending love and prayers to you and your family. May God comfort you and heal you! Although I've rarely commented, your words on this blog through the years have helped me be a better mom to my 4 (soon to be 5) children! Although we've never met, you have served as a mentor for me and so much of what you've shared here about how you parent has been so wise and helped me in so many ways. Thank you for sharing so much in this space; you have made a difference in so many lives that you will never even know!

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  191. Oh Sarah. I have been regularly checking the blog to see if you'd posted and just assumed that you'd decided to take a break from blogging. Never did I think it was related to your health! I'm glad you've updated us though and I am sending you a lot of love from New Zealand and I hope you come through this battle stronger than ever. Kia Kaha. xx Chloe

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  192. Sarah, I have read your blog for several years, but I have never commented. I've been checking regularly over the past few months and was wondering about you. Thank you for the update and please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

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  193. I have been thinking about you often the past few weeks. I had hoped you were well, and missed your blogging, but respect the need for privacy. I am so sorry for this horrible path you are called to walk right now. My heart and prayers are with you. Thank you for "raising" me as a mother- I truly feel that way about you. Your heart and wisdom have been a foundation for me this past decade.

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