Friday, October 9, 2009

A Home’s Energy

Nor need we power or splendour, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender, these form the wealth of home.” Sarah J. Hale
Did you watch Stephanie Nielson on Oprah on Wednesday? Of course you did.

One of the things casually mentioned in the interview between Stephanie, Oprah, and the girl that visited Stephanie, was the “energy” of her home…warm, peaceful, and calm. Oprah made a comment about how you walk into some houses and you feel the energy and think “get me out of here”. That could have possibly been my house last week…oops. Really, I was sick, but I was also worn thin, impatient, sometimes plain mean. I yelled, I scolded, I “hurried up” way too many times. And you know what happened? That energy spread…like energy tends to do…no one was getting along, no one was kind and patient and nice to each other, no one listened, no one made an effort to help (without being asked repeatedly), and the noise level went up and up and up.

Sometimes I reject the ‘master of energy’ role that has been given to me, as a mother. I feel sorry for myself. Who wants that responsibility every single day? But whether I WANT it or not is not an option. No choice there. In a backwards sort of way, with that responsibility comes a power….a gift….whatever you want to call it. I’ve posted a little reminder above my kitchen sink of how I want the energy in my home to feel…just a reminder that if I feel these things in my spirit they will radiate and bounce of the walls and into children’s hearts. The more beings in a home, the stronger the energy needed…the more hearts to full. The more teenagers and toddlers…you better have the cardiac strength to bounce hard.

The real work? Getting the energy I want to exude into my heart every day. Making the effort to know what fills me up, and then committing to do those things every single day. That’s the hard part….every single day. Knowing what drains my battery life quickly, knowing how long my charge lasts, and knowing what fills it back up again…and reminding myself of all that often. That right there is the SECRET to making a home a loving, happy, welcoming one.

28 comments :

  1. This post really resonated with me today. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself. I'm going to mull this over for the next few days & really think about about my "battery"...

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  2. I often fall into that pit of self pity and resent that I have to carry the burden of being the center of that 'energy.' It really does originate with the mother for the most part and you're right, we have no choice but to try our best and run with it, as exhausting as that is.

    A lot of times I look to external circumstances or people to lift my spirits first before I feel like I can extend that positive energy outward.

    I've known all along that it has to come from within me first. Thanks for reminding me though.

    I, too am going to 'mull' over this and re-teach myself about my battery maintenance.

    Hope you're feeling better by the way. You've had it rough these past few weeks.

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  3. Well said. Sometimes I hear myself and can't believe what I've said. And, not just WHAT I say.....HOW I say it. Thanks for this excellent reminder.

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  4. girl this could not have popped into my reader at a better time. i just spent the last hour grumbling, yelling, complaining to everyone here about the tugging on expensive halloween costumes that need to last another 3 weeks, not eating dinner, the bickering the whining. and i wonder WHY they were bickering and whining? maybe because that's the energy i put into my house today.

    thanks for the friendly reminder. i missed the oprah show. wish i'd seen all these blog posts telling me to watch - i don't usually, so i didn't know it was on ahead of time. oh well.

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  5. Well put, Sarah!
    Love it.
    And on that note, I'm off to an evening of some yoga with moms, snacks and a glass of wine.
    Need to keep my battery full.
    xxoo
    jody

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  6. Knowing what charges me and how long it lasts......EXACTLY!! Great post!

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  7. I watched Nie, even recorded it for my husband to watch too. I've been thinking about the "energy" of my home as well. So much of it has to do with my attitude, I have to keep reminding myself of this. You always put things so poignantly.

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  8. As always you are so right. The energy of the home is determined by us moms. Thanks for reminding me to keep myself balanced. By the way, I LOVE your Halloween header! God's blessings on your weekend, Sarah :D

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  9. Hi Sarah! I have to say I just discovered your blog a few weeks ago but I really love it. For awhile now, I've been looking for something new and interesting to read - and I'm so with you in so many areas. Yes, I saw Nie Nie and I'm with you - we wizard moms control the energy of our homes. Good luck to all of us!

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  10. Of course I watched! This post hit the heart today. Thank you.

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  11. Like the old saying goes: "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". How true it is!

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  12. I discovered your blog a couple weeks ago -- love it. As a new-ish mom, I'm starting to understand how my energy effects my toddler and husband. Thank you for explaining it so eloquently and offering the advice to not only recharge our "batteries", but really think about how to charge and maintain them.

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  13. I've not been watching tv much in the last couple of weeks and I also missed her blog post that she was going to be on Oprah. I found a couple of clips online, from what I have seen I would love to watch the whole thing.

    Your post is so true. I have known for a while now that the energy in our home needs to change I am just having a hard time making that shift. I have been praying a lot over the past couple of weeks and trying more to "listen" for an answer. I know that I need to take care of myself more. Thank you for this post, it's just what I needed to hear.

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  14. Thank you so much for this post! I am a teacher of middle schoolers. Very true in my classroom! Thanks for the reminder. WHat does your little reminder say above your sink? I need this on my desk. I love reading your blog. You are a fantastic woman!

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  15. You are so right on. This year I have allowed myself to be on the calendar and get away either alone or with a girlfriend to recharge and fill my well so that I can come back and be the best mom I can be.

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  16. amen.

    finding the energy in the first place is the hardest part!

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  17. I am the mom of two boys, 12 & 14, and this is something I constanly need to work on. Thank you for the words of inspiration. Great post and love the photo.

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  18. oops, sorry for the typo...constantly

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  19. I am a silent reader of your blog... I found thru another blog... yada yada.. BUT... I just had to say thank you. I love this post. I love lots of your posts. I am not a blogger myself, just do it privately for my own records.. but I appreciate blogs like yours. You are real, and unassuming.

    I am going to print this entry and tape it in my bathroom.

    But I was wondering.. What is the reminder you have above your sink?

    Thanks again.

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  20. Thank you for this reminder! This is a concept that I have been taught over and over, but still struggle to achieve. On a very personal note, I can pinpoint a time when we truly achieved that ideal "energy" as a family in our home. During the month before our little daughter died, and was home thanks to Hospice, we had the best feeling in our home. We were so focused on making the most of the time we had together, and not letting other things get in our way. And, as a family, we were very conscious of making our home a peaceful and calm for our daughter. As painful as that time was, I cherish the memory of the way it felt to be in our home then.

    Anyway, sorry to write a novel of a comment, but I wanted to let you know how much I've enjoyed your blog since discovering it a few weeks ago. Thank you for helping me to grow as a mother and homemaker.

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  21. Yes, yes, yes. I have been "hurrying up" too much too. You are so right about the energy i put out and how it makes the home positive/negative. Thanks for the soul search this am! :)

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  22. So true! I've been thinking a lot about that lately and a post you wrote awhile back about over scheduling which is what I think is going on with us right now. I feel like I'm always rushing the girls to something and it's making us all burned out and in a bad mood. Which does affect the energy in the home. Thanks Sarah - as always - for such a good reminder.

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  23. and I was just about to post the VERY SAME THING.

    That quick mention of Nie's has been the ONE thing I have taken and held onto and heard repeatedly in my mind.

    And it has left me sad.
    Because the energy in my home is NOT the energy I want. And if I am the sole person to create that energy for my family than what does that say about me?

    And is it ironic that my children are downstairs screaming as I write this??? Dont know if I should laugh or cry!

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  24. Thankyou for being so honest about the powerful and sometimes daunting role of setting the energy for our homes. I sometimes resent it but it doesn't change the fact of it. It is so important to start with gratitude each morning.

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  25. So, so true. I saw Nie on Oprah and that statement resonated with me too. You explained it well, and I think we all could use that reminder sometimes! When I'm having one of those days, my mom always tells me that I'll get back what I give out.

    Just found your blog through Chris and I am excited to browse through your other posts!

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  26. That energy that they talked about in Nie's home.... I wish they would have elaborated on it... I am a member of the same church and Nie is a friend of mine... Maybe she can elaborate on that "energy", which we refer to a lot in our faith as The Spirit. I am sure that is what they are talking about. Nie has the Spirit of God in her home.

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  27. yes, what IS the reminder above your sink? Is it the quote?
    Thanks!
    Laura

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