Here are some thoughts about toddlers and food.

My first pediatrician who moved away and left me (Dr. Reed wherever you, you were the best ever), told me, "Don't ever make food an issue, or it will become a battle."  Toddlers can be notoriously picky and obsessive about their food (no touching, don't cut up, do cut up, on this plate, not on this plate, etc.) and some of this can be carried into childhood and beyond.

I took her advice to heart and have had toddlers and kids who have been easy to feed.  Of course they all have their favorites, some of them went through short picky stages, but they are and have been generally agreeable about food.

I have found though, that when you feed a family, all sitting down at once, not just a toddler, you will make different things of course, and this can help prevent the "mac n cheese" dilemna.  That means, prepare food for the family, to eat together, not just for the toddler, to eat separate you.  The family meal!  Pass the dishes around, everyone puts what they want on their plates, and eats it.

And then don't say another word about the food.  Don't cajole, try to get it "right", look worried or concerned, beg them to eat, ask them if it's "alright", talk about the food unless it's "this is delicious!", bribe, worry, etc. I would say almost all the time food issues are about control, not about the food, and it's a vicious cycle.

I think one of the many blessings of a big family is that mom doesn't have time to concentrate on who is eating what, and how much, and can we make it perfect, or make a whole other meal.  The kids go with the flow, because the flow is routine enough to be a habit, but varied enough to not cause ridiculous demands (only eating mac n cheese for example.) I never ever remember saying as a child to my mom, "I don't like that, or "oh no not this again". I just knew better. "Here's the food I made, aren't we lucky to have food (which is said in the blessing), now eat or don't.

Do not overwhelm a toddler with too much food.  A little bit is so much better than too much.  My toddlers would eat better with a little food cut up then a heaping adult plate of food.

So what if it's too late and you have a picky toddler who refuses to eat?

Stop concentrating on the food. Surrender in a sense and start afresh with a new attitude.

Always make something that they will want to eat, even if it's just bread, but don't pay attention to that fact that it bugs you that they don't try anything else. Make it a non-issue as fast as you can, and go about the meals enjoyably. (Strip the control aspect of it.)  Make sure you mention to whoever else is eating with you how delicious something is, or ask if anyone wants to try this or that, but not personally to the picky guy.  (No begging or cajoling.)

Get them involved in preparation if they are an older toddler,  They will be much more likely to eat it themselves if they had a part in washing it, cutting it, preparing it on a plate, mixing it etc.  This works wonders!

Offer babies real food, with lots of variety, because those babies grow into toddlers who will be used to whatever you fed them from the beginning. I learned quickly to not use baby food jars, and just mush up and cut up real food as much as I could.  I really believe that food should be eaten only when it can be probably swallowed and even picked up by the baby with a little help at first, not just spooned in where they have no control. This goes along the line of handing over control of what they put in their mouth to them.

Do not panic about vitamins and minerals unless they are eating nothing but sugar. Think of them getting those vitamins and minerals over a week not a day. Don't keep in your cupboards what you don't want them to eat or get used to. (Or have a hiding spot.)

My baby brother went through a faze where he didn't like much of anything, and my mom told him he could have crackers in place of the dinner. (He was the youngest-you now, special allowances. :)
We joke that he might have eaten Saltines for dinner for years, and he is now around 6 feet 5 inches tall so they didn't stunt his growth too much.

If any seasoned mother wants to chime in with what works for them, feel free!

Thinking:
A lovely reader left this comment on my blog awhile ago on Miranda's Coming Home essay, and I earmarked it, because I love it and I thought all my readers would too.   

From Cathy-
Your story brings tears to my eyes since I takes me back to when my husband I took the same leap of faith. I am so grateful I listened to that still soft voice which beckoned me to trust in God's providence and not our own - even though at the time I made the lions share of our income. That was almost 20 years ago and now the little ones I stayed home to be with have moved out and are beginning their own journeys. We endured some very lean years, but the gift of time has taught me that you don't regret the materials things you sacrificed to stay home with them. Even all the hours we ended up having together didn't feel like enough as we drove them off to college and helped them pack their things to move into their own places. This nation so desperately needs young children who feel valued, loved and secure... it is a priceless gift we give not only ourselves and our children but our communities as well.

I want to shout that from the rooftops. "Even all the hours we ended up having together didn't feel like enough as we drove them off to college and helped them pack their things to move into their own places."

Here's a little trick I learned from my mom, who most likely learned from her mom, Josephine, mother of nine.

It's the "cross your arms" trick.

When you have a child who needs to be told something important, or reprimanded, especially one under say about 7, you have them cross their arms.  It works especially well for older toddlers because it distracts them for a enough minutes to change their course of action. It also does a couple more things:

-It makes them look at you and concentrate on what you are saying.
-It makes their mood, somehow-I don't know how- change.  Usually they get a little giggly.
-It makes them look really really cute, which makes you really really less angry.

I've been doing this for years and it works wonders.

A friend gave me this recipe, and I love it.  It is a simple classic pumpkin bread with a crunchy crumb topping. Feel free to use a little less sugar, it will still be great.

I make six mini-loaves out of this recipes.  Yes, the first time I made it, I had to run out and get mini-loaf pans, wondered if I'd use them again, but I have regularly and love them.  Perfect for sharing.

I think you could split this recipe between two normal loaf pans but bake longer, making sure the middle is baked through.

1 15oz. can pumpkin puree
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
3 cups white sugar
3 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/4 tsp ground ginger

For topping:
Mix together with fork:
4 TBS softened butter
3/4 cup white flour
3/4 cup white sugar.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Mix all ingredients together.
Spray six mini-loaf pans with cooking spray.
Evenly divide mix (pans will be about 2/3 full).
Sprinkle topping on each loaf.
Bake for 50 minutes.