Clover Lane

On Sunday night, I thought, I am so grateful for Mondays.  I can put the house back in order and tackle my to-do list and just recover from the busy weekend and...just quiet...lovely.

But then on Sunday night we had a big storm and the lights went out.  And then they went back on at 1:45 a.m...like EVERY light in the house went back on.  I was the only one that seemed to notice this-everyone else was slumbering away!

And in the wee morning hours, the school called and said that start time is delayed but they called back after breakfast and said school is cancelled.  (Except for poor Abbey's school that never cancels.)

So much for Quiet Monday.  But I am grateful the lights are back on, and that my house is still standing and the kids DO entertain Janey so much, and maybe I will be able to get something done today.  It will be a not-so-quiet day at home, but a 3 day weekend isn't so bad either.

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She is such a joy, a beautiful addition to our family.  I can't even begin to count the ways her little life has blessed us.  What a gift!

Janey is happy and spunky, and keeps us on our toes, and I think that's great.  And she is showing five older siblings what work and care and selfless love an infant, a baby, a toddler need. They are also getting such a kick out of her...mostly from the way she laughs so hard at their antics.

I am so grateful for our Janey.

...the perspective that comes with age.

I took five minutes after a long day to drive down to the river with Abbey and Janey in tow-I could see the sunset peeking through the leaves at my house, and I needed to get some fresh air.  Isn't it beautiful?

Today I awoke to a baby throwing up all over my neck, and then the bed, and then herself.  A little bug apparently.

I think 19 years ago I would have panicked and worried so much that she had some terrible illness, and 15 years I would have thought, "Oh great, how am I going to get anything done today", and 10 years ago I would have maybe felt like it was a little unfair that I always had the throw up on me, and then at some point in my growing-up-as-a-mother, I just learned to laugh. Yes, a tired laugh.  I really thought it was 2 a.m. but it was 6:30 a.m. and there was no going back to bed.  I knocked on the bathroom door and told Jeff to hurry up, I definitely needed a shower today as soon as possible, and I crept up to the bathroom upstairs, and snuck in before my teenagers did, and gave poor Janey a warm bath.

And started the day.

There are hard days of parenting and there are easy days of parenting, and I have learned to embrace them all, because you sure can't change them.  We will be fine, throw ups, fussies, bad days, pizza for dinner again, getting nothing finished, sheets in the dryer, not a moment to myself.  Sick babies, frustrating toddlers, rambunctious kids, moody teenagers...it's called rolling with the punches and I find with age I get better and better at it, not perfect, but better.  Of course with age I also get a host of other things, but I am grateful for the perspective, most of all.

Jeff and Janey and I took a walk on Saturday, into town to eat lunch.  (But we forgot our money and had to have Abbey drive down Jeff's wallet-thank goodness for responsible teenagers! :)

It was a beautiful, brilliant day with sun and wind and whipping fall leaves.

You know I don't like cold weather if you have been reading this blog for some time.  And we have cold, long, gray winters here.  I would love more sunshine!

And I sometimes can get a little crazy with wishing we lived back home where I grew up, or in some other much "cooler" place.   I sort of regret ever saying those things out loud ever and I've decided I'm going to start finding all the good, because there is SO much here.  Isn't it funny how when you look for good and beauty you can find it so easily?  Negativity just puts blinders on, and that's a self-defeating way to live.  And sometimes you take all the good for granted, which is why it's good to count your blessings.

We are here to stay.  I am grateful for this little town Jeff and I chose one day when we fell in love with an old home and decided this was the town for us.  I am grateful my kids can walk and ride into town safely, visit the library, pick me up some food at the market, work at the ice cream counter, see their friends everywhere. I am grateful for the change of seasons that always invigorates me and feels like four fresh starts a year.  I am grateful for our nicer-than-pie neighbors, and our home.

I am grateful for our church, the community, the little school in back of the church grounds that my children have, are, and will attend.

I love the traditions of Catholicism.  When I was growing up I knew nothing different-I thought everyone believed in the same thing.  I never knew what made us different.  I thought everyone adored Mary, and that Saint statues were common.  I remember talking with a friend of a different religion who didn't think that was all so cool-weird even.  I never gave it much thought, but I decided to delve deeper and have spent my adult-hood reading bits and pieces about my faith-things I took for granted, or maybe they all just went straight over my head in religion class as a child.

I am grateful my parents passed down the tradition of Catholicism to me.  I am grateful that my mother lit Advent candles every year, and encouraged us to sacrifice during Lent.  I am grateful that she and my Dad spent their hard-earned money on a Catholic education, and I am also grateful that I was taught by some strict, perfection-loving nuns back in the day. :)  I am grateful that I was baptized and I will still remember the day I received First Communion.  (Most of those memories had to do with a dress and flowers-oh, I wanted a veil so badly, but my mom made me a beautiful little wreath out of fresh spring flowers.  It's ok Mom, I'm over it!).

When I am in our beautiful church, I think of all the prayers said, all the brides and grooms married, and babies baptized, and loved ones put to rest.  It is a strong base, a reminder of the largeness of life, and how much good there is in the world.

This was one of those weeks where I felt like "this is the longest week of my life" and "where did this week go" all at once.  Halloween recovery, pre-holiday purges, a little early on-line Christmas shopping, conferences, conferences and more conferences.  I am excited for the weekend...but I also need a good night's rest.  Miss Janey Pants decided that she wanted to stay up late last night-we are doing the two-to-one nap transition thingy, and hence, my brain is buzzing with exhaustion.

I have every intention of participating in Stephanie's November gratitude posts, and I hope it's not too late to start on November 9th.  I feel like a cheater pants, but it's so important to take time to remember that life is good, and better late than never?

I have every intention of a good Christmas toy post also, a few of you have asked if I will do that again this year...and a teenage gift guide written by Abbey and maybe one prompted by Matt and Isaac (because we all know boy's are the most difficult to buy for!) but it will take me a week or two or three to get that together.

Isn't it crazy how overwhelming life can feel when you are tired?

Andrew asked me the other day, "Mom how do you fall asleep at night if you just can't?"

I said, "That almost never happens to me anymore Andrew, but when it does, and when it did when I was little, I would say Hail Mary's and that always works."   It does work-it works for me when my mind goes crazy at night and fills with worries and doubts.  But like I told Andrew-that hardly ever happens anymore because after a day's work, I am out like a light.

Happy Weekend!