Thursday, April 4, 2019

Parenting As An Older Mom

Age changes parenting.  Experience changes how I parent.  I am grateful to have this perspective, as a mom with a spread of 18 years.  I do some things differently but more it's just an inner confidence.

I see that self-discipline is so important to teach.  (Wait till dinner.)
The ability to hear and process the word no is so important.  (You can't always get what you want.)
The gift of children knowing the world is not centered around them and their wants and learning how to cope with the discomfort that might entail is so so important.  (Sitting still in church, respect for others at a restaurant, in a classroom...)
Being able to make themselves do hard things.  (Finish the task, hike, project, chore.)
Enduring discomfort without an outside source (caregiver) rescuing.  (Oh how we pamper our children today!)
Consequences.  Natural ones!
The importance of teaching empathy, and social skills which is learned way before school age.

There is so much BIG work as a parent, and sometimes I see so much concentration today on the little ridiculou things as an older parent-things I know I worried on also starting out.  Childhood is such an awesome chance to learn how to live in the world we were plopped into, and we have the gift as parent to teach our children the tools they will need to get through the ups and downs of life.  That is in essence our job.





7 comments :

  1. I love hearing your thoughts and perspective on life. Thank you for sharing yourself and your wisdom.

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  2. Thank you for this. I like what you said in your final paragraph about how parents sometimes worry more about the ridiculous things than the really important stuff. You've got me thinking (like always!). Thank you!

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  3. Love this! Trying to teach these things to my 8 and 5 year old each day. Was 8 a hard age with your kids? The attitude some days (and we are very clear about our expectations) is about to do me in!

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  4. Loved this post and was curious ... what were some little ridiculous things that you worried about early on like before your kids entered school? Sometimes it’s hard to know what is a silly worry until you move into the next phase so I just wondered. Thanks for this post!!! I just love reading your blog - thank you!!!

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  5. I agree. I am an older mom too...the age spread between my kids is only 12 years, but I am a different mom with my younger ones (in many cases, much to the chagrin of my older kids!). I also take care of a few extra little ones during the week and I absolutely agree with your thoughts in this area.

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  6. Yes. I was thinking last week when I sent a note to a teacher about something we just weren’t going to do, that it feels so good to have the confidence to know what is right for my children (even if they or others don’t agree) and stand up for it without hesitation. Hey, I was wondering if you had advice for getting reluctant readers to read... I thought I remembered you talking about encouraging kids to read at some point, but couldn’t find it. I read myself all the time, have always read to my children, and I’m super sad that two of my kids just do not ever want to read. Once they get into a book they will, but motivating them to start is so hard.

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