Wednesday, April 20, 2011

40 Days Tips and Tricks: The Real Issue


You say, 'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' 
You make a mistake. 
If you are not content with what you have, 
you would not be satisfied if it were doubled. 
--Charles Haddon Spurgeon

If you have been participating in the 40 Bag/40 Day Challenge, doesn't your house and mind feel better?  Even if you started out gung-ho, and then burned out midway through, I bet the parts of the house you managed to clean out feel fresh and new.

Last year when I was introduced to this Lenten challenge, I really ransacked my house. And I found that at the end of it all, I was a bit disgusted in myself.  I really thought that I, who was someone who liked to keep a simple, uncluttered home, could never find 40 bags of "stuff" to get rid of.  But I did easily.  And it really got me thinking.

This year I've had it much easier because of all that thinking.  I have really changed my ways, and it has NOT always been easy.  It's about discipline (no matter how bad you think you might "need" that new book, frame, pair of shoes), accountability (it's easy to fritter away your pennies if you don't keep track of them), and just plain old contentment and gratitude.

Sure, with a family of 7, there is bound to be things to throw away, things that are outgrown, or just little pieces of junk here and there creeping in.  But I found the main culprit in the accumulation of all the this STUFF was ME.

I started thinking:
1. How many times have I thrown something in my cart at Target or Michaels or wherever, either because I didn't really think about if I "loved" it...I just wanted it at the time?

2. How much of our hard-earned money (the money my husband makes working his days away!) did I fritter away easily on things I didn't need?  I started thinking about "instant gratification" and what I was teaching my children.

3. The whole contentment issue again.  Looking through some magazine or seeing an idea on a blog and thinking, " I really need (ha!) a new purse like that, or a new look to this room, or this fancy pan in the kitchen."  Consumerism, materialism....yuck.  It's like this endless cycle of in and out.  Just like that quote at the top of the page...if you are always wanting more, something else, something different, you are never appreciating all you have right in front of you.  And this may seem cheesy, but I have read so many great books this last year, set in the late 1800's, early 1900's.  They lived so simply, saved their pennies for things for YEARS...a new fry pan, a doll, a dress, a pretty vase.  And because they had waited for them, made sure they were well made, and would last forever, they took care of them, and treated them as precious objects.

4. Once I was a nanny in a mansion.  Like really...MANSION.  The couple spent SO much of their time on stuff...not just time spent earning the money and then buying all these fancy things, but then having to turn around and spend even more money on the things they bought just to care and protect it all.  Maintenance, insurance, fancy confusing alarms.  And their daughter sat lonely and neglected among it all.  I walked away with a lesson from that job, I'll tell you.  All these possessions, all this money...wasn't adding to their life, but taking away from everything that is truly important.  And whether or not it's that extreme, the truth is, the more you have, the more you have to care for, and the more time you spend on the things you have.  How freeing to have less!  It's getting to the core of the good life...where the "real happy" exists.

5. And most importantly, in the end, if I wanted to show my children where the "real happy" is, then I had to model the behavior I wanted them to see.  I had to say "no" to myself, even with little things, to teach them they could say "no" to themselves also, or hear it from me or Jeff, and the world wouldn't end.  Soon that little thing will be all forgotten about.  And you know, all our children want is US anyways.  They want to play with us, be with us, have us listen to them, more than any toys or gadgets.  And that costs absolutely nothing.

39 comments:

  1. Oh yes it does Sarah. It costs something most of "us" aren't willing to part with. OUrselves. And that is a sad fact. You inspire me to not only clean out my home and make it more comfortable (we have a very small house-1000'ish square feet-and 6 people) by getting rid of STUFF. But you also inspire me to spend more time and energy on my kiddos. Thanks for that. <3

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  2. Beautifully said. Thank you for the reminder of what we should all be doing.

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  3. Beautiful post. It really struck a chord with me. Thank you so much.
    I think I am going to start my own challenge. Even though we live in a 900 sq. ft apartment with no outside storage, I bet I can get rid of 40 bags of cr*p. Even if some of them are just small bags. Oh, I'm kinda excited about this :). I'm going to go make my list right now!
    Thanks again Sarah!

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  4. Love the quote and definitely appreciate the insights. I grew up in a large family )6 of us) and although money wasn't always tight, we didn't have a lot of toys or even excessive clothing. I mean we had some, just not A LOT. My mom worked from home and spent lots of time with us. The values I learned taught me way more than having any barbie could.

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  5. Great post! I needed to hear this. It seems like I can come up with an entire list of things that I would like right now!

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  6. Thank you for the lovely reminder... simplify. I found you this week through my friend Beth at Dirty Laundry and I am very glad I did! Your posts on the 40 bags of Lent have got me motivated to purge and I already thinking about next year's lenten season!

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  7. Such a great post - you made me a believer! Thanks for the inspiration to live simple. Hopefully with a little thought now I will be in the same place you are next year.

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  8. Excellent post!
    It is always nice to spend some time on Clover Lane :)
    ~Andrea in NH

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  9. I've learned so many lessons similar to what you're saying here. Partly from being a nanny for a summer in a situation similar to yours, partly from feeling lonely as a kid while both my parents worked for a house full of stuff, partly from my own mistakes and stupid purchases. You're right on. Stuff doesn't bring contentment, in fact more often it brings discontent.

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  10. I started out gungho and then let this project go for the past couple weeks. I'm back on it, even though I won't make it in time for Easter! That's okay. I love reading books about the turn of the century and part of the appeal is the simplicity of life back then when it comes to material things. Your posts are so inspiring to me, and this one really hits the nail on the head. Thanks, Sarah!

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  11. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I try to teach my kids contentment, yet I buy myself new things constantly, because "I deserve it." Ha, what a joke that is.

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  12. Sarah, this is why I love you so much! You are simply refreshing. I am copying the quote and putting it on the fridge for me to read. For some crazy reason I have been thinking we NEED a little bit bigger house. Speaking of olden times...have you seen how many kids lived in those teeny tiny houses?
    And you almost have me convinced to do the 40 bag challenge next year for lent(even though I'm not Catholic). But as for today I am trudging through 40 loads of laundry. ugh.
    ps- I completely agree about the baby's hair!

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  13. This is such a great post Sarah. I believe all these things in my head but you stated them so nicely. It is hard to remember to live simply everyday, old habits are hard to break, but I have also tried to focus on what I have instead of what I want.
    I like the part about having your children SEE this. Sometimes I just say "no thank you" in my head but I need to do a better job of explaining my choices to them. I think I'll create a "wish list" for the things I really want so they see I don't just go out and get anything I want.

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  14. Great post Sarah! Thanks! I have been taking your advice on this for about a year now... getting a few nice toys for birthdays and Christmas and some needs, not just junky impulse buys at the dollar section in Target for the kiddos every time we go shopping.

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  15. This is a great post! I'm still sorting, tossing, and organizing as we get ready for our big move in June. It's amazing how much "stuff" you can part with when you have to move it!

    I went to church with a friend recently and they were doing a series on money. The Pastor said something that really stuck with me regarding spending. "Spend to meet your needs, not to satisfy your wants." I don't really consider myself an impulse buyer, but now I am even less so.

    Thanks for sharing your journey here.
    -Melissa

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  16. I totally agree! I love Flylady's system for staying clutter free! Loved your post on how you did your banner/header. Really helpful! Thanks.

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  17. Oh Sarah, Thank you for this awesome post! It is SO true! These are such important lessons that you remind us of. Especially as I stay home from work with my little one..and want to continue for an undetermined amount of time :), your ideas, tips, lessons, and wonderful bits of mommy knowledge really help me to keep my priorities straight. After I had my baby, it got MUCH easier to say no to things. I looked at my husband and said, "The only thing we need is him...and he needs us."

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  18. I wandered in here, the last week of Lent, and have only read this one post thus far, but your message is so important. Consumerism is not of the Lord. Lovely...and your photo is charming.

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  19. What a beautiful post!!!!! It really touched my heart, especially since I'm going through the 'de-slutter' cleaning phase! It's so good to hear the same thing, but from someone else's perspective. This is what I love about blogging. Different people speaking about the same thing in different ways! WOW!!! It shows we are all individual and unique and especially, special!!

    Blessings to you and I hope you have a super Easter!

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  20. Beautifully said, thank you so much. You have been the support I've needed, the little voice in my head for the past 40 days. Thank you. :)

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  21. amen to this! i find myself buying things for the kids, usually something i wanted as a child but never got. now i'm paying for it, not just financially, but with all the clutter and "stuff" in the house. the sad part is, my kids are happier playing with the basket their stuff is collected in than the stuff itself.

    as always, you're spot on. thanks for the post.

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  22. i needed to hear this today. I might print it out and add it to my (daily?) scripture reading. thanks!

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  23. I read this post this morning, Sarah. I've been thinking about it all day. I think rather than posting my thoughts here I'll do it on my blog tomorrow. Really, thanks for the inspiration.

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  24. Ooh, I LOVE that Spurgeon quote. I just shared it on my blog's Facebook page.

    Kristen@TheFrugalGirl

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  25. This is so true. I want my children to see that things will not make them happy. Once I discovered it was me with the buying problem, we have been able to declutter and simplify. Now when I am faced with a buying decision I analyze whether I REALLy need it or just want the quick pleasure of the buy.

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  26. You just put into beautiful words what I have been learning about these last 3 months. Between your blog, my cleaning adventure and a great daily meditation I have been doing I have realized how poorly I use my money and time when it comes to my Lord, husband and family and really when I die what will truly matter?? To spend each day working for those who mean the most to me and playing and loving them, what could really beat that. It will fulfill me far more than new STUFF. I just had a garage sale and feel very cleansed. Thank you.

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  27. Sarah, what a great post! So, so true. The 40 bags has helped me get rid of a lot of stuff and think about what else i bring into this house. I re-use anything I can, before I get rid of it and think we need something to replace it...I love finding a new place for something.

    And what has really helped me with not buying everything I want for the last month is my new budget...I have to do a blog post about it. WOW, it has opened my eyes on all my over spending I did of my husband's hard working money!

    Thanks for a great post!

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  28. You are one of my favorite blogs to visit b/c of posts like this. Thank you for sharing from your experience and as always sharing from your heart!

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  29. Amen Sarah! I've been so encouraged by your humble and honest posts (and the abundance of positive comments!!) on this blog in just the short time that I've been viewing them. God bless you.

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  31. Lovely post! I shall enjoy my meager possessions thanks for the reminder.

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  32. Thank you for this post. I 100% agree with you; I just need to put this into action!

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  33. Hi, I found you at Pinterest and I was going to be only one more anonymous person reading to your blog. I need to confess that I read quite a lot, I kind got addicted to it. I am reading for hours, I have 5 tabs of links that I clicked in your pages. But, I got so touched about this particular post.
    I will do a little resume, I just got married to a man that has been married before and 100% of the things we had in our house was left overs from his first wife. I got so viciously addicted to buy stuff only to erase his ex wife from our lifes that I completly lost the really meaning of the why we are together. I am so grateful for reading this now. Thank you very much!

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