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Thinking:
Here’s a little update:
Abbey is on number 3 of chemo and it’s been tough. (She was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s, post here.) Chemo has been difficult for her. The week of chemo she is very sick, and the week after she’s at about 50%. She can get a little work finished that off week. We’ve tweaked some medication and she has figured out what works for her and what doesn’t (sometimes that’s accepting that nothing will work and it is what it is)-lots of fluids at the infusion center (which means lots of sitting alone in a chair in an ugly room), forcing herself to eat (finding those foods that aren’t disgusting to her), and then recovering gently. She has met or spoken with a few young women either farther along or all finished with the same diagnosis and everyone has been so wonderfully helpful and encouraging. And the generosity has been just so sweet-so much kind support and love and encouragement. Thank you for all your kind words here and on Instagram.
I’ve been well except for a few days after all the cancer, covid, mono month of October that I just crashed mentally, emotionally and physically. I told myself I was going to not get out of bed for a couple days on a slow weekend, and just drink water and never use a screen and just pray and read and care for myself. An at home restart, a recharge, a retreat, call it what you will. Well it lasted for two days, I did get out of bed of course, but I reset myself-in other words my plan worked. I felt refreshed and rehydrated, and ready to go again. I needed calm, and I needed the most basic self care, and I know most of you moms need days like that too, when you are overwhelmed with caring for others, split in so many ways, and in burnout mode. Sometimes I think being so needed, and busy, sets me on this autopilot that is not sustainable. Maybe there is a last straw that reminds us we must drink water, eat 3 square meals as day (in a seat, with a nice plate and place setting) and take the pace down quite a few notches to where life can be pleasant again and we don’t go off the rails, or else…the ship is going down. We are the ship! We must not go down. Most especially when the water is choppy out there.
Playing:
I am having so much fun compiling new Christmas gift idea posts for everyone! (BUT just so you know there is NO decorating going on here until December…I can’t take that yet!) I miss so much buying for little ones that this is a way for me to get all that cuteness out of my system. Also coming soon…TEENAGERS. And COLLEGE KIDS. And YOUNG ADULTS. The ones that I’m sorry to say are so difficult to buy for-I did that hard work for you also. Don’t they want a new Thomas the Train anymore, or the latest American Girl doll? Why can’t they just make it easy!
Here’s a sneak peak of some great finds:
Janey (9) received this as a gift and LOVES it. She plays library alone and with her friends and it’s just the cutest thing.
An affordable neat collection of all the best racing cars-NOT overwhelming-I bought a couple of these for Patrick (13) when he was in quarantine and not feeling great and he had a good time putting them together.
Fun To Find Search The Page Book
My kids LOVED these kinds of books when they were little. We had a few over the years and they were always their favorites, even when they had memorized where all the items where.
Reading:
Right now Janey and I and Patrick are listening to this on Audible before bed (because sometimes I am too tired to talk) and we are captivated. Adventurous, and easy to follow, it’s about a boy, Michael, who is swept overboard and must survive on an island with a fellow inhabitant, Kensuke.
I just finished this and it was really good. I’ve had trouble finishing books lately and this one had me right away, and I couldn’t put it down. It’s about two innocent teenage girls who fall into an abusive relationship with a teacher, that ends in a murder, a conviction and then the recovery after the wreckage for the survivors and their families. Sounds so uplifting I know! I usually don’t read crime-based fiction but this was much deeper and very well written.
Have you read anything great lately?
Hey Sarah! I absolutely loved “Pachinko” by Ming Jin Lee. Beautifully written, I learned so much, could not put down! Still thinking about it … Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. xo
Have you read the Thornbirds? I read it about 10 years ago and loved it. It was my choice for book club this month. It’s funny how 10 years changes your perspective . I love it just as much but saw it through different eyes
Team Do not decorate until Christmas! Your gift shopping are always fabulous.
Sending healing prayers.
Thank you for the library kit idea! My 9 year old daughter wants to be a librarian when she grows up – what a perfect gift!
Praying you and your family have a peaceful and healthy holiday season and new year!
Have you read the Thornbirds? I read it about 10 years ago and loved it. It was my choice for book club this month. It’s funny how 10 years changes your perspective . I love it just as much but saw it through different eyes
Thinking of and praying for Abbey and all of you often! And to try to plan holidays on top of a LOT of caregiving – WOW, mom! My oldest is almost 10 and my triplets are almost 6, and I agree with you, I feel like we’re about to leave behind picture books and “little kid” toys, and I’m so sad. We found an awesome subscription service called Finders Seekers that’s a different travel-related mystery-in-a-box every month. The regular puzzles are definitely teen/adult level, but they just released a junior version that will definitely be showing up here for Christmas!
We are the ship. You are so right about that. xoxoxo
I would have loved the little library kit when I was a girl. I played library all the time!
“The Woman They Could Not Silence” was excellent. Really helped me appreciate strong women who fought for the rights I am blessed to enjoy. And if you want something light and fluffy to listen to while you clean the house, “My Lady Jane” audiobook was SO good. I found it hilarious. 🙂 Thank you for these posts. Some of my favorite books have been your recommendations!
I’m getting the “Fun to Find” book for Clara this year 🙂
I’m looking forward to your other gift ideas too — I know Nora would love that library kit!
Sarah, will you get me the library set for Christmas?!?
One of the best books I have read lately is Verity! Coleen Hoover is the author and it is one I could not put down and probably finished in 30 hours
I’m looking forward to your Christmas gift lists. They’re so helpful.
I read mostly historical fiction. I just started The Red Heart by James Alexander Thorn. A 5 year old Quaker girl named Frances Slocum was kidnapped by Indians in 1778 and the book follows her family’s search for her and her life with the tribe.
I found your blog probably nearly 10 years ago. Your words saved me many times back then as a young mother with 3 under 3. Over the years your words have calmed me, brought me to tears, and given me courage. I hate that shit happens to people who don’t deserve it. Sigh. Cancer is the worst. I’ve had it. My Mother in law died from it. It sucks plain and true. I just wanted to say thanks and let you know I’m rooting for you and yours from across the country.
Hello Sarah,
You are so right about self-care and keeping the ship fit! I’ve had to go full-tilt for awhile, and started the reset process last night. My reset process is a lot like yours: bed, books, rest, water, and no screens!
Like you, I”ve struggled with the “hard to buy for” people at Christmastime (and on other gift-giving occasions, too). Last year we tried a new gifting method: Reverse Show-and-Tell Christmas. We exchanged cash gifts after dessert on Thanksgiving, then we each shopped for ourselves in secret, and on Christmas morning we revealed our gift choices. It was really, really fun! Everyone loved it!
There were so many “wins”. We learned new things about the people in our family through the gifts they chose. We did not generate waste by adding to the “generic stuff” in the world. We had so much more peace and reclaimed time for meaningful connections. And it was truly joyful!
We’re planning to do the same Reverse Show-and-Tell Christmas gift exchange this year. We’ll exchange our cash gifts a little earlier so everyone has time to shop successfully despite supply chain and shipping disruptions. But we’ll still keep our gifts secret until Christmas!
Thanks for sharing so many helpful ideas here. I love your insights to slow and meaningful living.
Kind regards,
Mallory
I love this idea! Years ago, my siblings and I exchanged inexpensive gifts we each chose. So it was similar but we didn’t shop for ourselves. How does it work when you exchange cash? Does everyone pass out the same amount? I would like to try this without it sounding like I’m asking everyone to buy their own gifts with their own money.
Hello Sun,
I’m happy to give you some more info on Reverse Show and Tell Christmas! In our family, we like to keep the actual amounts contributed private. To do this, we select one person to collect all the funds and then distribute them.
For example:
Each of our adult children sends us a private note telling us how much money they would like to give, and who they would like to give to. So one child may say they would like to give $25 to each person, another child may choose to give $10 to each person, and another child may choose to give $50 per person. Each of our children send us the money they are giving. Then my husband and I add in the amount we plan to give each person, maybe $100.
Then we add it all up: 25 + 10 + 50 + 100 = $185 per person.
Then we send out a single check for $185 to each person. This way, no one knows who gave 10, who gave 25, or who gave 50. All we know is the total amount of “fun money” that we have been gifted.
We all shop in secret, and then we reveal our gifts to each other on Christmas morning.
We definitely have fun with the wrapping and presentation of the cash gifts. We use cute cash envelopes, gift tins, gift bags, or any cute packaging we can think of. On Christmas morning, each of us brings the gifts we are going to reveal in a gift bag or box to keep things secret and festive.
We’ve found that cash, checks or venmo all work great. If we are doing venmo, we write the amount on a gift tag or post-it note and include the message “we’ll send this amount to your venmo account tonight.” We put that note in the package, just as we would do with cash or check.
The reveal part is really fun. Some people choose to get one big thing, others choose to get several less expensive things. And people buy things that they would never put on a list! For example, one person bought a new desk chair, another person made a charitable donation, chose a new eye liner and also got a new sweater.
I’ve actually put together a “rules sheet” on my website (malloryblake.com). You can download one (free) and share it with your family. I also have a Reverse Show and Tell Christmas logo that you can download ($10) and then use to create note cards or stickers or gift tags. And, I have a picture-based step-by-step guide on the website and on instagram (@themalloryblake).
I’d be so happy to answer any additional questions. You can get in touch with me through my website or instagram.
And gosh, I sure hope you have lots of fun with this and that your holiday is peaceful and joyful!
Kind regards,
Mallory
Prayers lifted up for your sweet girl, you, and your family. I look forward to your Christmas gift lists! They are so helpful! Hugs from Michigan xo
I’m am praying for Abby (and you)! I am currently reading Winnie the Pooh with one daughter, Little Lord Fauntleroy with another daughter, reading Treasure Island to my oldest 3 (13, 11, and 9), and personally reading The Spiritual Lives of the Great Composers and The Hiding Place.
The Dutch House…must listen to on audio. It’s read by Tom Hanks. Enough said!
I pray with you for your sweet girl, Abby. I’m lifting you up to the Lord for all that you need.