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It’s been so long since I’ve done an ordinary days post! I can’t believe how much my kids have all grown this year, and often look back at my days with little ones and think “How did I do that?” So much work! It really is an extraordinary amount of physical, mental and emotional work to raise a family, especially one with many ages and stages. Gone are the days of diaper and naps and potty training, and that constant “red alert” feeling that crawling babies and toddlers in the house bring a mom.
And it does get easier! Please know that. Not life always (heck no, here) but raising children. Getting out of the baby and toddler stage (and trust me I would go back again if I could I LOVED that age) frees up so much time and energy. Teens bring us vast stages of mental and emotional expenditures also, but once you have a couple under your belt, I’ve found, it’s much easier to know what to stress over and what to not stress over.
Here’s a little update:
Isaac (my oldest @ 27) work like crazy in the DC area. He and his fiance Cecilia have pushed their wedding back to June 2022 because of overseas travel issues (her family and friends from Denmark would be traveling here). Their wedding would have been last Friday when it was freezing and rainy so we consider ourselves lucky. They come visit often and I LOVE having them here-I’m sure for them it’s nice to get out of a tiny apartment and city life with all it’s noises and inconveniences. The best of both worlds for them, as DC is an amazing place to live. I love my soon to be daughter-in-law and consider us so so blessed to have her walk through life with Isaac.
Abbey, my second, is working in photography and marketing for an artsy denim company, and also does her own photography on the side shooting everything from weddings, to grad photos, which makes her extra busy also. She lives here with me still which I love, although it feels like she is never home, the way she works and travels.
Matthew, my third, has one more year of college left and is living in another city this summer with friends and working also. I can’t believe how fast college went for him so far although I think covid definitely had something to do with that, since they were home earlier and went back later last year. I’m excited to see where he ends up after graduation! It’s fun seeing these kids have their own dreams and plans for life! I will always always encourage my kids to spread their wings.
Andrew, my fourth, has one more year of high school left, has grown about a foot it seems this year (one more inch to catch up to Isaac) and is busy as ever, with his social life and working out and working in general, and soon college applications. He is a lifeguard and a swim coach, and works at a sub shop and has the nicest friends.
Patrick is heading into 7th grade, and Janey is heading into 3rd grade (#5 and 6). I call them my twins 5 years apart because they are both blondies, and stick together (which does not mean there isn’t teasing going on just that Patrick is protective of Janey and Janey loves her big brother.)
I am so so lucky to have been given these incredible humans to raise and love and enjoy. It is no easy feat as a mother to work so hard every day (as I said before), but it is tremendously satisfying to be able to have the work come to fruition and just enjoy them all.
I am adapting to my “new life” as a single parent and am proud of the healing I’ve done because it has been an enormous amount of daily work. I am blessed to have incredibly supportive loving helpful friends and family around me and have leaned on them during the last four years. I really don’t know how I would have done this all without them.
I am three years out from my breast cancer mastectomy surgery which is when the “count” starts till five years when I will breathe a little easier. I’m hoping no more surgeries-although I think I was finally get a little “used to” the expectations I had to set myself up in terms of recovery.
I find a huge amount of satisfaction in helping others who have been diagnosed with cancer, particularly triple negative, which is very scary to read about when first diagnosed. I feel like when it comes to cancer, and for sure also the trauma of divorce which was much worse than the cancer diagnosis by far, there is major women-to-women bonding – a lending of a hand to help pull us up, or drag us if needed through, or cheer for us, from those who have walked through the path of the stages of grief and healing. It is never easy when life throws curveballs (or sometimes fast hard balls to the face:) that are so unfair and wrong and hurt so much. To be able to gain that strength and self worth back is a journey for sure.
I have learned to do things on my own again, and it’s like those baby steps of independence that could be terrifying, once completed, just give so much confidence. I might be up on a ladder taking down a storm window (with a teenagers help-no more broken bones for me!), under a sink repairing a leak, diagnosing a car repair, figuring out finances, or driving us to a far away state for a vacation, but strong women before me have done so much more (that’s where my love of inspiring historical fiction comes in.).
This summer we are looking forward to pool days, and cookie baking, and good books and the company of friends and ordinary days for sure. We all have so much to be grateful for.
I love this! Love seeing all the updates and your incredible courage. My sister also went through a divorce 8 years ago. She had to raise four kids on her own. It had been tough for sure. You are incredibly brave and I appreciate your perspective!
You’ve been a mom-spiration to me for many many years. I am just so sad and happy to always read your posts. I hate that you had to go through an awful divorce and breast cancer. I prayed for you when your cancer post went up. I wish God had blessed me with more kiddos to raise, I have two. But blessed with the amazing young people they are growing up to be. My baby graduates Thursday from High School. So I take notes from you and am learning to let them fly too. Although I am a mess about this stage of motherhood. Wishing you a beautiful and relaxing Summer
It is a difficult stage to navigate for sure-we feel a little displaced and very melancholy don’t we?
It still gives me pause to think of all you have gone through. So glad you have come out the other side. What a testament to your strength and parenting that you have such wonderful kids. May you continue to gather strength, cultivate happiness and enjoy your summer!!
Sarah, The encouragement and insights you share with mothers in your writing about your life and family remind me that the fruits of the Holy Spirit work in us and through us. Thank you for being a testament to that. Wishing you and your family the best of summertime!
I love these little glimpses into your life, partly as a way to see what life has in store for us several years into the future! (My kids are 7 and 5.) If you’re comfortable sharing, I’m curious whether your kids are with you full time, how you handle them spending time with their dad, etc. Any divorce tips, I suppose.
They aren’t with me full-time and that is extremely difficult and heartbreaking-I am still in the midst of much change and uncertainity-and still finding my way by navigating it all and advocating for them.
I greatly enjoy your posts and how you share an honest glimpse into your life. What a wonderful inspiration you are to all! Thank you and may you and your family be blessed with rest and good health!
Sarah, you are an inspiration. Wishing moments of pure unexpected joy for you this summer.
Oh Sarah! I loved reading this blog post. Where has the time gone? I remember well when your kids were small or not even born yet. It’s wonderful to see them all and read what they are doing now in their individual lives. What a beautiful family you have. Bless them all and bless you for all you sacrificed and have been through. Thanks for sharing with us. Have great and peaceful summer!
Thank you so much!
I LOVED this update!! I started reading your blog about 13 years ago when I had 4 kids at home.
As I type this comment I am holding my first grand baby. (If you think motherhood is great, just WAIT!!) life sure does fly by.
I’m glad you’re getting your sea legs (or single legs) under you and finding your way. I can’t imagine what the last 4 years have felt like for you and your kids.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! Sea legs for sure! Love that analogy. Can’t wait for the grandbaby days.
So glad to hear you are doing better emotionally! I think of you often. My daughter is getting married June 2022 also. Would love to hear wedding details of your son.
I will share for sure as we get closer! It is smallish, about 120, and at our Catholic church and then a beautiful barn venue.
Thank you for sharing these Ordinary Days with us!
Thank you so much for your beautiful post, Sarah! I am a long time blog reader and going through a divorce myself. I have four kids. I admire your maturity and your insight, and I would love to get tips how to get through a divorce with dignity. I don´t ask you to share personal details, of course, but I think many of your readers like me would love to learn from you how you got through this.
So love reading your updates. I’ve really been enjoying your more frequent posts here and on IG (I can’t even imagine surviving the last few years that you’ve endured and it’s perfectly understandable that you weren’t sharing as much during that time) but I’m just really happy to be reading so much from you again. Thanks for being such an inspiring mother figure in my life—I’m about ten years behind you with my own six kids and I’ve learned so much from you over the years!
I can’t believe your oldest is only 27?! I’m 32 and I’ve been reading your blog since Patrick was the baby (before Janey!) as a mom of three now, I love your insight and take on life. Thanks, always, for the writing and sharing.