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Searching for and Maintaining Peace
I’m loving this book but pacing myself – one little sentence or paragraph at a time because it is rich and powerful and contains deep truth.
Twice yesterday I came across completely randomly this Bible verse-“In quietness and confidence is your strength.” {Isaiah 30:15}
I wasn’t reading the Bible, or doing anything a bit holy. Trust me when I say it was very random. It happened to strike me the first time because it seemed to be an answer to a frustration I had with myself for being inconsistent with something I wished to do-boundaries- and knew was best for my soul healing. Do you ever get so frustrated with how many times you need to learn a lesson over and over again? Are there people out there that don’t? They just learn the first time? That’s what I tend to think- to imagine that there are completely balanced, always sensible, always consistent, methodical people and I somehow do not have that secret sauce whether it be laziness, moods, disorganization, outside circumstances that I could have avoided- if I had taken care of this, not scheduled that, had the car fixed earlier, found that lump earlier, asked these questions sooner, exercised every day – if I was perfect in a sense – I could avoid pain and hardship and just skate through my life and everything would work out. If I was only better dammit.
And you know what I’ve realized so much? Social media doesn’t help. It hurts so much more than it helps. We say these things, me too! – comparison is the thief of joy, be content with what you have, don’t compare your bad day with their best, we all have different talents, but who can carry that mindset every day? Why do we expect ourselves to? We are inundated with the most unrealistic lifestyles, bodies, faces, hair, houses, food. Deception, intentional or not. One second it takes to look at an image set up for hours and hours that most likely involved nothing that is real, authentic or naturally flawed and is no reflection of any bit of real life. And then there is the answers-if we adopt this life style, drink this potion, take the course, download this app, do these exercises, follow this plan, buy this stuff all our problems will disappear and we will be-well what? Perfect, peaceful, attractive, happy, rich. So will our families! That in fact is the art of advertising-of selling. And we expect our brains with their daily demands to dismiss that all? They aren’t wired that way, it’s impossible.
So what is the answer? First to accept there is no perfect person, that social media is likely most of the time an illusion or a business tool and what we are in fact seeing is advertisements UNLESS we are very discerning, and want to expend the energy to be constantly discerning. That sometimes the more we”let into” our brain that is not fruitful always, does so much more damage than we realize. So discernment is one of the answers, on all fronts of course, not just social media-but we are inundated with information from so many sources today and the authentic person-to-person information exchange our brains ARE wired for has been detrimentally declining.
Consistent discipline is needed for discernment. And what to discern? That is where we examine what we want for ourselves. And if peace is the answer-because only God (or good) can be present in a peaceful soul regardless of outside circumstances, then peace is what we must cultivate.
What makes us feel peaceful? That is such an individual answer depending on where we are. Boundaries. Time to reflect. Our habits. Time to remember what we want for ourselves (daily reflection) first, and then what we think best cultivates peace for those in our care. Cultivates means TRY to acquire or develop-TRY, not always, not perfect, not magical, and develop-development of a skill is something that takes time, is malleable and comes in fits and starts-with bumps, and bruises and start overs-to GROW something. Stepping back and asking ourselves lots of questions. Examining what we can control and strengthening those character traits that help us with all of it.
When I read this book — very slowly, over a few months, I began to understand that TRUE peace — if we honestly desire it, is present in every situation (not just those fleeting moments when the house is clean, the kids are quietly doing something together, and I am feeling for one brief moment 'on top of my game'). The peace that I learned from this wonderful book is the peace that comes when we fully trust that God is with us in the good, the bad, and the ugly. And that no matter how many times we will fall — and we will ALL do so over and over again, He will be there to pick us up and set us back on our feet. I kept visualizing a little toddler trying to walk. When he or she falls down, a loving parent does not delight in their fall, but picks them up, dusts off their pants, imparts encouraging words, and sets them back on their feet to try again. As God's children, this happens for us every time we fall and then seek His help (and it can come in any form – like through that verse you 'randomly' were reminded of yesterday). In that reality, I find great peace. Peace is not the promise of easy living, problem-free lives, mistake-free actions/words — no, because they will always be there. As you alluded to, real life is not a picture perfect social media post — it can and often is much uglier than that. The peace is in knowing that we are never alone even when the times are ugly and we mess up again and again; we will always have a loving parent to dust us off and set us back on our feet. Always. There is such peace in that. May our hearts all be renewed in this – true peace, this Christmas season!
Therese you are very good with words. You wrote this beautifully. You are right that the only way we find and feel true peace is by staying close to our Heavenly Father. He is very loving and is always there for each of us.
Sarah, I love your blog. I have read it for years and I have told my husband multiple times that if you lived by me we would be friends:) You have your head on straight and you are such a good mother, and you love our Heavenly Father.You have your priorities in order. Stay close to our Heavenly Father, he will guide you, and he loves you. I know I am a stranger to you so I hope this isn't weird. Thank you for your posts, they are real and relatable. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
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Sarah – as always, I am so grateful for your honesty and vulnerability. I have been struggling with social media lately – well, actually since Halloween when so many people started perfectly decorating their homes for Christmas. For a fleeting moment, I questioned my home and the choices I made about it. But then, one very quiet, very early morning, I looked up from instagram, and looked around my cozy family room and fell back in love with it. I was so grateful for everything about it. This year has been an incredible challenge for all of us. Actually, the past few years have been very challenging for me and my family – lots of sickness and lots of loss. We have had to lean on each other and God for peace and hope. I am so thankful that you share your heart with us and remind us of what is truly important. xoxox
Sarah–thank you so much for this message. God is clearly trying to teach me something today. I hope that I will come back to this message time and time again. It's not that you're good with words–it's that your words capture my heart and my thought processes so accurately. I feel less alone and more at peace with myself. THANK YOU THANK YOU for sharing your heart today.
I just taught ran a Zoom discussion with women from church about the peace Christ offers us. I love that you say peace is the only thing we can truly seek and depend on–our circumstances might be hard. We can't avoid that. And to be cruel to ourselves for having to do hard things because we think we might avoid them if we'd done things differently keeps us from finding God in our struggle.
Again, thank you for sharing.
PS If you're looking for less spiritual reading, but still something to explore this a little more–Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb was one of my favorite reads of this year.
Thank you for this, your insight is so helpful to me !
This post made me think of the verse, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Proverbs 31. Thanks for your sharing your wisdom.