• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • House Love
  • Mothering
  • Recipes
  • Books
  • Tutorials
  • 40 Bags In 40 Days
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Contact

Clover Lane

  • The Impact of Attitude on Motherhood
  • Empathy And Motherhood
  • Life Is Precious
  • A Revisit
  • Seasons of Life
Home ยป Blog ยป Revisit-Motherhood and Our Attitudes

Revisit-Motherhood and Our Attitudes

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane

Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
Print

I have this quote taped to the inside of my household binder which holds a collection of recipes, homemaking ideas and tips, gift ideas, and most importantly, notes to myself that I’ve made every few years that I label “rules of life”. 

Lately I’ve been thinking so much about how this quote applies to motherhood, and how our attitude shapes our children’s lives and our experiences as mother.

Our children don’t have a choice about how they are cared for, but we have a choice when we become mothers about how we are going to embrace our new role.  We have a choice about our attitude towards motherhood and that attitude will make our life and our children’s life and our spouse’s life stressful or wonderful.  Over the last twenty one years of parenting, I’ve observed many different attitudes towards mothering and I think attitude truly is more important than circumstance, money, giftedness, skill, education, or appearance as it can make or break a family.  

By definition attitude means “a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically reflected in a person’s behavior”. I think in this day and age we must be purposeful in cultivating a good attitude through our thoughts and feelings about motherhood as our culture today doesn’t send messages that support us.

We’ve been told, unlike past generations of mothers, that in so many ways raising children can put a cramp in our style, make daily living inconvenient, ruin our careers, drain our finances, and surely we have better, worthier, things to do with our time, energy and talents. We are expected to have and do everything all at once-we are bombarded with materialism and live a faster-paced life then years ago, the opposite of a “settled way” of being. When we realize this way of life is lie, that it is impossible to have and do all, it can easily allow resentment to build. If we expect our children to fit in on the sidelines of our life, and when we demand that they to conform to that lifestyle, they retaliate by being unenjoyable and needy, and we throw up our hands in frustration. Or maybe it’s just simply the posturing trend today towards comedic sarcasm and self-pity-a “these darn kids” eye-rolling stance-that can permeate our way of viewing of parenthood if we allow it.

I’ve had times in my life when I had to remind myself to find some time to step back and take the time to switch my brain from heading down the wrong attitude path. I have attempted to jot down some of the things that have helped me over the years, and some of the characteristics and lifestyles of fabulous mothers I have observed over the years who have maintained a beautiful attitude towards motherhood and family life.

I think cultivating a beautiful attitude towards motherhood means truly surrendering ourselves with a purposeful attitude of gratitude towards our new role.  By that I mean, allowing ourselves to fall in love with our babies, letting ourselves be reformed into something new and start on a brave new learning journey of reshaping our old lives to build a joyous family life together.  It requires letting go of keeping up, shaping up, showing off, moving up, getting away, going out like we did before we became responsible for another’s life and it requires giving our energy to something far more important than worldly desires-the child we brought into this world.

Our attitude really comes down to embracing and accepting hard work because motherhood requires this during all stages of parenting. “Work is love made visible” says a famous philosopher.  We must find a way to make this hard work enjoyable and if not, to just do it, knowing we will bear the fruits of our labor. Sometimes it helps just to expect that we will always be required to do hard work and stretch ourselves beyond what is comfortable at all stages of our children’s development. We must know and trust that nothing in this world is more more worthy than our service.  It is okay for us to serve our families-sometimes serving them means showing them how they can help us, and other times it means just that-doing the work that is needed to care for our families. 

It comes down to developing a tender connection and a deep bond-knowing mother is important and irreplaceable, and that which there is no substitute-which takes the gift of time given freely, and sacrifice for many years. We must change our lifestyle so that our babies and children are able to flourish and thrive, and we accept that it’s not just about what is best for us anymore. 

It comes down to guarding our hearts carefully every day-by that I mean rejecting the sarcastic attitude that makes parenthood seem like a long tortuous journey of interrupted sleep and sticky fingers and too long summer breaks. There’s a child on the other side of that sarcasm wondering why he’s thought of as a curse instead of a blessing. We must attempt to avoid this attitude like we would avoid the co-worker who constantly zaps everyone’s day with her complaining negativity and pessimism. We must choose carefully who we spend our time with as mothers and what we allow to creep into our brains. Attitudes are catching. We must search out positive affirming messages about motherhood. We must find what fills us up, not what tears us down.  

“I get to do this” is a phrase that changes every task from a bother to a blessing.  Whether it be to rock a crying baby in the moonlight, soothe a frustrated toddler, help a slow learner with homework, or stay up late talking to a moody teenager, we must recognize that there are many fellow women whose hearts break daily because they desperately want to be given the gift of motherhood and some that have had it ripped away from them.

I’ve told the story before of a young mom who lost her toddler in a terrible accident while on vacation-she had said that before she left she was mad about the hand prints left over the newly washed windows and walls that gave her one more thing to do during the hectic time before the trip, and how when she came home without her daughter she searched everywhere to find just one beautiful, precious hand print to treasure. She shared this story to say, stop, slow down, strive to be grateful.

I have had a friend who had to work for the first year of her daughter’s life tell me through tears that she had an acquaintance who complained to her constantly about how difficult her days home with her children-“warning” her against her desire to be home.  But my friend cried often when she pulled out of her driveway to go to work, wondering how she could desire so badly what someone else took for granted-somehow that made it hurt more.  Finally the day came when she was able to be home and she rejoices every morning when she doesn’t have to rush off and appreciates being the one to see her children change and grow and learn all day long, and says she soaks it all up, thanks God for the opportunity, even if it is indeed hard work.  “I get to do this” is her attitude-an attitude of appreciation and thanksgiving.

Each of our children is a wonderful blessing from God and we are being entrusted with this little being to raise-and receive joy and love and affection that will never be found elsewhere in that process.  It comes down to reminding ourselves to possess overwhelming gratitude towards the gift of being able to raise a child, and to do that we must slow down and unwrap that gift daily with care.  

Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
Print

September 27, 2019 ยท 10 Comments

Follow by Email

Previous Post: « Encouragement For The Week
Next Post: Encouragement For The Week »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Comments

  1. Kande says

    September 27, 2019 at 3:08 pm

    Love, love, love this!! Thank you.

    Reply
  2. SGS says

    September 27, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    Sarah thank you so much for this post. You always seem to be able to reach the heart of a mother, and so often what I need to hear. Really appreciate your commitment to and reminder of the gift of being the one home raising your own children.

    Reply
  3. Katie says

    September 27, 2019 at 5:46 pm

    This went straight to the heart. Thank you!

    Reply
  4. LCD says

    September 27, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    The one blog I haven't given up on… because what you say is true! Thank you for sharing your big ideas on motherhood and life as well as your small ideas– books, games, toys etc… love it all. Trust it. Thanks.

    Reply
  5. Amber says

    September 27, 2019 at 10:33 pm

    Oh I love this Sarah!!! You have such. Gift and way with words! Hits home every single time. I wish I could carry you around in my pocket all day so you could remind me along the way! I love you dear friend!!โ™ฅ๏ธ

    Reply
  6. Unknown says

    September 28, 2019 at 6:20 am

    Needed to hear this. Thank you.

    Reply
  7. Diane says

    September 30, 2019 at 6:14 pm

    As always, beautiful, ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL truth spoken on motherhood. You are amazing, Sarah. Truly amazing. Thank you.

    Reply
  8. Becky says

    September 30, 2019 at 8:55 pm

    Thank you for sharing! I always come to your blog to find words of wisdom and it never disappoints. Wish I can call you every time I need advice on parenting!! Never stop sharing your words.

    Reply
  9. Laura says

    October 1, 2019 at 2:45 am

    You are such an encouragement – just love your blog.

    Reply
  10. Susan says

    October 5, 2019 at 5:17 pm

    Oh, Sarah! Thank you so much for continuing to share your wisdom with us. It is so beautiful to read the words that speak right to me! You are a gift to this community!

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

Welcome!

Sarah Turner

When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

21 years of our best-loved, most-used quality toys!

Follow by Email

Recent Posts

  • Sorting, Saving and Storing Children’s Keepsakes-A Quick and Easy Guide for Busy Moms
  • No-Clutter Easter Basket Ideas
  • Favorite Kitchen Items
  • Favorite Smoothie Recipe
  • Bathroom Organization-Five Tips For Purging and Organization

Topics

Amazon Affiliate Disclaimer

Clover Lane is participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Read my disclosure.

Happy Easter! A beautiful day filled with hope an Happy Easter!  A beautiful day filled with hope and new beginnings - focus on the future, the blessings, the cycle of life where darkness doesn't triumph, but light and love and fresh days ahead - and sunshine - does.  We grow and change and let the old shed, the suffering transform, and rebuild with energy and hope to become closer to Jesus.  Love to you all.
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! ๐Ÿก
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
๐Ÿƒ
As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
๐Ÿƒ
A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
๐Ÿƒ
Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! โ˜€๏ธ
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
๐Ÿƒ
I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
๐Ÿƒ
Clip on bed lights save space. 
๐Ÿƒ
A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
๐Ÿƒ
When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
๐Ÿƒ
All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฑ
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
โ˜€๏ธ
When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
โ˜€๏ธ
More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Disclosure

Copyright © 2021 ยท Memories on Clover Lane ยท All Rights Reserved
Please do not duplicate anything on this blog without written permission from the author.
Disclosure: Amazon affiliate links used.