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Home ยป Blog ยป Just Something Little To Say

Just Something Little To Say

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane, Mothering

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Today while I was running around doing my morning chores as quickly as I could, I stopped for a second and enjoyed that bright sun shining in one of the favorite rooms of my home (well I have many favorites for all different reasons).  But the BOYS room-the room where my boys have always shared, the “musical bed” room where boys have come and gone and come back and the room my little Janey, with a nice new pink room, insists on sleeping in so she is not alone.  It is decorated almost exactly like it was when we moved in 13 years ago and I want to leave it like this always.

I was filled with this overwhelming sense of gratitude-gratitude for what IS right now.  I know almost every mom with little ones, or who is pregnant, and feels overwhelmed, and “not enough” and is waiting for the next stage to come so life gets easier, needs to hear this message because I did too.

Love with all your heart what your life looks like right now.  Yes maybe it could get easier, but there will probably always be something that makes life a little more complicated than what we want it to be.  When you feel that baby kicking inside of you and can’t sleep, just sit and love the feeling of it and be so appreciative that you get to experience that miracle.

When you trip over toys and step on Legos and the beds are unmade and the sink is crusted with toothpaste, just take a breath and think of the days when your house will look like no one lives there and you’ll want it filled with children playing and the comfort of knowing all your children are in their beds safe.  Do you really want to put away those toys forever?  I bet not.

When you haul in those groceries and plan those meals, sit back at that table and look around and be so so grateful to share a meal with all these people who love you, and that you have the money to fill your children’s tummies with food, even if it is loud and fast and a lot of work.

Who cares if you don’t have time to do all that you are supposed to be doing.  Cancel the plans and stay home and cuddle or eat popcorn and watch Rudolph for the 100th time.  Do what you want to do with your children and love every minute of it, even if it never turns out the way it is planned.  Or badly.  Live and learn and laugh about it and try again, but love the process of learning how to be a present, content parent.  Life will teach you if you stop long enough to let it.

Try not to care about the mess, and the discomfort and noise and the demands-yes a day, or a week or maybe even a month you think would be nice.  

But life changes, and kids grow up and they grow up FAST.  Yes, I know you’ve heard it in the grocery store from an old lady so many times.  Because IT’S TRUE.  Put down your list and listen to those old ladies! Babies are sweet and warm and cuddly and toddlers are hilarious and so fun to watch, and kids just love us, and teenagers test our love so we love them harder, and then they LEAVE.  And it’s all over.  

So treasure it all – the kicked ribs and sore back, the messy room, the quick meals, the tripped over shoes, the sweet little squeaky voices even if they are whiny, the work that seems endless. 

It’s not endless, that’s the thing.  Pay attention, be filled with gratitude for it all, and simplify your life enough so that you can take the time to deeply love it all.

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December 7, 2018 ยท 30 Comments

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  1. Reena says

    December 7, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you. What a timely reminder .You are a blessing to so many young mothers.

    Reply
  2. Lauralli says

    December 7, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    Thank you, Sarah! Beautiful! I, like you, have already had two leave the nest. I still have one teen left and I'm definitely enjoying him more than I did his brothers at this same age because…..PERSPECTIVE! ๐Ÿ™‚ It's such a great teacher, right? Unfortunately we don't generally learn enough from others' perspective, though! Blessings to you and your family!

    Reply
  3. Deanna says

    December 7, 2018 at 3:06 pm

    This is so true. It is not endless. We have 4 sons and they are all moved out, we have our 17 year old baby left. I miss them all so much and would not change being a stay at home mommy for all the money in the world. Our 3rd son lives far away in Japan serving in the Marines. I am reminded as he told us about the incident at his base where they are still searching for 5 missing Marines, that life is fleeting.

    Reply
  4. Amanda says

    December 7, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    Sarah, I've been a long time reader… like since the beginning…and I've never commented even when I've really thought about it. But this. THIS. This is the post I'm printing. It's the one that will go on my bedside table next to pictures of my precious family and favorite scriptures. This is the one I want to remember. You are a blessing to so many <3

    Reply
  5. CourtneyM says

    December 7, 2018 at 3:18 pm

    Long-time reader & first comment as well. I needed this today. Thank you, Sarah!

    Reply
  6. Melissa says

    December 7, 2018 at 3:39 pm

    Thank you, Sarah! โ™ฅ I was just thinking of one year ago, so grateful for your life and perspective.

    Reply
  7. Ms.JayQue says

    December 7, 2018 at 3:50 pm

    Thanks Sarah. Perspective is everything, isn't it. And yes, they do grow up so fast. Thanks for reminding me to enjoy my sweet toddler girl. All the best to you and your family this Christmas.

    Reply
  8. Maiden Jane says

    December 7, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    I hate telling my friends….it sounds so trite, but it all went so fast. And I'd trade these days for those baby days. They were tiring, sure, but don't carry the same worries… I love the bedroom. It seems the youngest children in a big family are more comfortable with their siblings. Our bedrooms are so small, my husband built a crib-sized trundle for our 3rd child to go under the bunk beds when #4 came along. And those young ones always preferred to share rooms! My mom doesn't like me to tell anyone that I shared a room with two of my brothers until my oldest sister got married and I could move in with my other sister. Somehow we managed. I had a little baby bureau in the hallway. I would go there, grab my clothes, and then change in the bathroom. How we shared that bathroom with 8 of is is beyond me! I don't think we bathed very often, except when we swam in the lake! Ha!

    Reply
  9. Rebekah says

    December 7, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    Beautiful perspective, Sarah! Thank you for sharing! I too love to linger in the rooms of my home, sinking in the beauty of the lives we lead.

    Reply
  10. KC says

    December 7, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    This is so good. It applies to parenting and almost every other situation in life! I'm so thankful that you're back to blogging and I hope back to good health.

    "It's not endless, that's the thing. Pay attention, be filled with gratitude for it all, and simplify your life enough so that you can take the time to deeply love it all."

    Reply
  11. Elizabeth says

    December 7, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    Thank you so much for your writing. I've followed your blog for years, too, and have learned so much from reading your precious words. This brought me to tears today because I am going through a tough season right now with my youngest. Trying my hardest to love what my life is right now and be grateful for it, even the tough parts.

    I loved these lines especially: "Love with all your heart what your life looks like right now. Yes maybe it could get easier, but there will probably always be something that makes life a little more complicated than what we want it to be. "

    Reply
  12. Janice says

    December 7, 2018 at 8:01 pm

    This is so beautiful Sarah. I had to show my husband too! I know I am a better mother because of your writing and encouragement. Hope you are feeling well:)

    Reply
  13. Allison says

    December 7, 2018 at 8:45 pm

    This beautiful, soulful perspective is exactly what I needed in (literally!) the exact moment I needed it. I have 3 sons, and yes, life is crazy and loud and things never turn out exactly the way I "think" they should. In fact, 2 minutes before I opened your blog, my youngest son (6) came to me asking for something. His foot got caught in my computer cord, causing both my computer to crash to the ground, AND spilling my hot oatmeal all over the computer, floor, and me. While I was cleaning up the mess, I will admit to feeling immensely frustrated. Then I sat down, re-opened my nearly broken laptop and read this post, and it couldn't have been more perfect for my heart. It brought me to tears, and I thought about how wise and true those words are. Thank you for always speaking truth, your children are blessed to have you as their mom.

    Reply
  14. ohio12 says

    December 7, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    Thank you for the wonderful reminder. You are such an encouragement. Please don't stop posting!

    Reply
  15. Anonymous says

    December 7, 2018 at 9:21 pm

    Love this,thank you! "Gratitude for what IS right now"

    Reply
  16. Monica Bradford says

    December 8, 2018 at 12:35 am

    Love this! I'm learning this as my oldest enters into the preteen stage. ๐Ÿ™

    Reply
  17. Billie Jo says

    December 8, 2018 at 4:26 pm

    Yes. Just yes.

    Reply
  18. Happy Annie says

    December 8, 2018 at 5:28 pm

    Fighting back the tears while reading your post. My only one left at home is now 14 and I hear the clock ticking loudly. Savor every second.

    Reply
  19. Kelly says

    December 9, 2018 at 2:45 am

    This is beautiful Sarah! I am a better mother because of your writing – thank you!

    Reply
  20. Sarah C says

    December 9, 2018 at 12:56 pm

    A great reminder for this season of life I'm in. Thank you!

    Reply
  21. Rae says

    December 9, 2018 at 4:00 pm

    Wow. Yes. LOVE this.

    Reply
  22. Laura says

    December 10, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    You are so spot on. I wish you would write a book filled with insights like this, and about other things in life that you've learned. Younger mammas like me could really get a lot out of it. My kiddos are 11, 9, and 3. Weve been trying for another for some time, only to miscarry recently after trying to 2 years. They're growing fast, and I fear my time with little ones at home will end before I wanted them to.

    Reply
    • Sarah says

      December 10, 2018 at 2:12 pm

      I'm sorry Laura-I had so many miscarriages but I wouldn't have Andrew, Patrick or Janey if I hadn't kept trying-hold on to hope.

      Reply
  23. Unknown says

    December 10, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    As usual, this remembering post will be shared with all of my daughters who are now mamas:) you state so eloquently what is true.

    Reply
  24. michelle d says

    December 10, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    I needed this so very much today. Thank you!

    Reply
  25. Raluca says

    December 10, 2018 at 11:43 pm

    And "I was filled with this overwhelming sense of gratitude-gratitude for" YOU, dear Sarah! you have influenced my life more than most of the people around me!!
    great post! thank you! (I will print it and frame it.)

    Reply
  26. Kathy says

    December 11, 2018 at 4:55 am

    Love this and it is SO TRUE. The years at home go sooo fast, and I find myself yearning for those times when crafts and
    pictures filled our fridge, and books were everywhere, and the shoes…oh my goodness the shoes!! Now my baby is 14 and the other two have grown up and one is gone. I will cherish these last days. thanks you so much for sharing.

    Reply
  27. Becky says

    December 11, 2018 at 4:19 pm

    I love your blog for posts like these!!! I wish I knew you in real life so I can pick your brain. lol. You are full of so much wisdom and I truly appreciate when you share your knowledge on here. Thank you from this mom of three boys. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  28. Ashley says

    December 12, 2018 at 2:28 am

    I have been reading your posts for years and am so grateful for you and your words. I've been more aware of the way I parent my 3 young boys because of you. I hold them tighter and try to slow down more with our crazy schedule. Your life lessons on parenting (and everything) are just so important. Thank you!

    Reply
  29. Ladystamper says

    December 12, 2018 at 5:42 am

    So very true! Love this :o)

    Reply

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Welcome!

Sarah Turner

When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

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Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular. Just an o Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular.  Just an ordinary Monday morning breakfast counter after the kids leave for school.  Because ordinary gets the short hand in our culture but really it's extra special. 
It's a symbol of unselfishness, contentment, prudence and gratitude.  There is a certain peace about the ordinary.  It's the opposite of temporary-it holds the joy of contentment and gratitude and prudence all in one hand.  It's lends itself toward peace, and a settling in, not a constant search for more or less or anything.  Ordinary is authentic and good enough- in short it's a gem in disguise. ๐Ÿƒ
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! ๐Ÿก
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
๐Ÿƒ
As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
๐Ÿƒ
A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
๐Ÿƒ
Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! โ˜€๏ธ
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
๐Ÿƒ
I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
๐Ÿƒ
Clip on bed lights save space. 
๐Ÿƒ
A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
๐Ÿƒ
When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
๐Ÿƒ
All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฑ
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
โ˜€๏ธ
When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
โ˜€๏ธ
More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
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