I always have the intention of reminiscing on each of my children’s birthday about the day they were born and what they were like as babies and beyond. But sometimes the festivities of the day put a cramp in that plan, and before I know it the day is over and we are moving on. My intentions are good, but celebrating the day takes precedence over nostalgic reminiscing, but I love it when I get a chance, and I want to try harder to do that-I think as time passes all the babies births begin to blend together in my memory and I want to hold those days dear.
Abbey turns 20 today, and I DO remember little things about her birth. I remember I cried when I found out I was pregnant again-not because I was at all disappointed but I was so afraid of the hyperemesis, and I had an extremely difficult birth with Isaac and I said to Jeff, “I don’t know if I can do it again!” And he said, “Yes you can, it won’t be that bad and maybe you won’t get sick.” Well of course I did get sick so he was wrong on that, and of course he was right on the birth-still posterior, still difficult but not crazy awful hours and hours of pushing, just a couple and so much better managed. I found an awesome midwife near me and she took such good care of me through the sickness and through the birth. A funny little side note to that is that my sister-in-law was pregnant also, but we both hadn’t told anybody (or maybe just I hadn’t told anybody? I don’t remember) and we JUST missed each other coming into and out of that very same office! We still laugh about that. Her little sweet baby girl was born a month earlier than Abbey.
I remember being certain she was a boy. I thought that was just perfect, and Isaac would have a brother close in age and I knew what to do with a boy now-had all the clothes and toys and how perfect. And what would I do with a girl? That would complicated things, maybe I wouldn’t be a great girl mom.
Her birth was easier than Isaac’s, but still posterior and still a lot of painful pushing. My midwife was awesome, I do remember her reassuring me so much during it all, and I also remember a stubborn anesthesiologist coming in and tempting me without even being asked (must have wanted to get all his epidurals done at once or something?) and her pointing her finger at the door and telling him to “get out right now, we will call you if we need you.” He did rather quickly, I laugh about that and love it too, because she knew what I wanted and was willing to make people mad to carry it out for me, that’s a sign of an awesome midwife.
And when she was born on a beautiful sunny September day and they said, “She’s a girl!” I was filled with the most joyous feeling ever. I think I told Jeff, “I always wanted a girl! I’m so glad she is a girl!” and he probably just thought I was a tad bit crazy for all my boy talk before. It was just this overwhelming excited beautiful feeling of “this is awesome.”
I remember it took 2 days to choose her name-Jeff liked Gabrielle and we both liked Abbey and it took us awhile to decide, but we didn’t care much about the indecision. She was just here and beautiful.
Abbey was so so sweet. I remember being shocked and grateful that she only nursed every 3 hours, what a break! Something about 2 hours or less vs. 3 is such a difference sleep-interruption wise. I do remember she was very very sensitive with sleep-well with everything, which Janey was also-minded being wet, minded scratchy clothes, minded being hot or cold, so different than Isaac (and the rest of the boys.)
The thing about Abbey I will also always remember is that to me she seemed like her brain didn’t match up with her physical development. Like her smarter brain was trapped in her baby/toddler body-she just had that look about her that already “knew” everything. She figured out things fast, she observed closely, she studied things, she knew what was up.
And also how she wouldn’t sleep without me laying down next to her even though I read every book on sleep, everything majorly failed (and I so regret the crying out thing I tried once, and vowed to never do it again and never did) and I remember that was a big lesson for me. Every child is different and basically (sorry) *screw* what the “experts” say, or anyone else, I’m doing what is right for my child. She taught me that.
And oh how sweet she was! She was very easy, she loved her big brother, she played and played and played with everything as she grew. She loved packing purses and bags, stuffing her drawers full of little things, empty little cereal boxes, basically pieces of what anyone would call garbage, I ‘d open her desk drawers and think, “What IS all this stuff?” Anything little she loved.
As she grew she loved creating-she played with dolls, but not babies like Janey. She loved her American girl dolls (started with Felicity for a long while) even into junior high she would sew clothes for them, her and Mary and Kate her little friends, would just play and play with those things.
I remember as a toddler when she would get upset, which was very rarely, maybe when she was scared or nervous, she could NOT settle herself down. She’d do the gasping, hyperventilating thing, and I’d have to hold her and rock her and tell her to breathe. She still did that a few times quite older-get herself worked up about things.
When we moved to Second Street (the house we moved to here from and the one she still wants back 🙂 we lived only one house beyond rail road tracks and the trains were loud. I trained myself to jump out of bed when I heard a train far away, and run to her room, because she was petrified of those trains for months and months after we moved in. Finally she was used to it, but she was very sensitive especially at night time.
I will stop there, as we have to get up and moving, we made lots of sugar cookies with plenty of frosting, her favorite and are heading out for a day visit on this beautiful sunny cool September day which is exactly like the day we were lucky enough to have you come into our lives. Happy Birthday to our Abbey.