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Home ยป Blog ยป Happy Birthday Abbey

Happy Birthday Abbey

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane

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I always have the intention of reminiscing on each of my children’s birthday about the day they were born and what they were like as babies and beyond.  But sometimes the festivities of the day put a cramp in that plan, and before I know it the day is over and we are moving on.  My intentions are good, but celebrating the day takes precedence over nostalgic reminiscing, but I love it when I get a chance, and I want to try harder to do that-I think as time passes all the babies births begin to blend together in my memory and I want to hold those days dear.

Abbey turns 20 today, and I DO remember little things about her birth.  I remember I cried when I found out I was pregnant again-not because I was at all disappointed but I was so afraid of the hyperemesis, and I had an extremely difficult birth with Isaac and I said to Jeff, “I don’t know if I can do it again!”  And he said, “Yes you can, it won’t be that bad and maybe you won’t get sick.”  Well of course I did get sick so he was wrong on that, and of course he was right on the birth-still posterior, still difficult but not crazy awful hours and hours of pushing, just a couple and so much better managed.  I found an awesome midwife near me and she took such good care of me through the sickness and through the birth. A funny little side note to that is that my sister-in-law was pregnant also, but we both hadn’t told anybody (or maybe just I hadn’t told anybody?  I don’t remember) and we JUST missed each other coming into and out of that very same office!  We still laugh about that.  Her little sweet baby girl was born a month earlier than Abbey.

I remember being certain she was a boy.  I thought that was just perfect, and Isaac would have a brother close in age and I knew what to do with a boy now-had all the clothes and toys and how perfect.  And what would I do with a girl?  That would complicated things, maybe I wouldn’t be a great girl mom.

Her birth was easier than Isaac’s, but still posterior and still a lot of painful pushing.  My midwife was awesome, I do remember her reassuring me so much during it all, and I also remember a stubborn anesthesiologist coming in and tempting me without even being asked (must have wanted to get all his epidurals done at once or something?) and her pointing her finger at the door and telling him to “get out right now, we will call you if we need you.”  He did rather quickly, I laugh about that and love it too, because she knew what I wanted and was willing to make people mad to carry it out for me, that’s a sign of an awesome midwife.

And when she was born on a beautiful sunny September day and they said, “She’s a girl!” I was filled with the most joyous feeling ever.  I think I told Jeff, “I always wanted a girl!  I’m so glad she is a girl!” and he probably just thought I was a tad bit crazy for all my boy talk before.  It was just this overwhelming excited beautiful feeling of “this is awesome.”

I remember it took 2 days to choose her name-Jeff liked Gabrielle and we both liked Abbey and it took us awhile to decide, but we didn’t care much about the indecision.  She was just here and beautiful.

Abbey was so so sweet.  I remember being shocked and grateful that she only nursed every 3 hours, what a break!   Something about 2 hours or less vs. 3 is such a difference sleep-interruption wise.  I do remember she was very very sensitive with sleep-well with everything, which Janey was also-minded being wet, minded scratchy clothes, minded being hot or cold, so different than Isaac (and the rest of the boys.)

The thing about Abbey I will also always remember is that to me she seemed like her brain didn’t match up with her physical development.  Like her smarter brain was trapped in her baby/toddler body-she just had that look about her that already “knew” everything.  She figured out things fast, she observed closely, she studied things, she knew what was up.

And also how she wouldn’t sleep without me laying down next to her even though I read every book on sleep, everything majorly failed (and I so regret the crying out thing I tried once, and vowed to never do it again and never did) and I remember that was a big lesson for me.  Every child is different and basically (sorry) *screw* what the “experts” say, or anyone else, I’m doing what is right for my child.  She taught me that.

And oh how sweet she was!  She was very easy, she loved her big brother, she played and played and played with everything as she grew.  She loved packing purses and bags, stuffing her drawers full of little things, empty little cereal boxes, basically pieces of what anyone would call garbage, I ‘d open her desk drawers and think, “What IS all this stuff?”  Anything little she loved.

As she grew she loved creating-she played with dolls, but not babies like Janey. She loved her American girl dolls (started with Felicity for a long while) even into junior high she would sew clothes for them, her and Mary and Kate her little friends, would just play and play with those things.

I remember as a toddler when she would get upset, which was very rarely, maybe when she was scared or nervous, she could NOT settle herself down. She’d do the gasping, hyperventilating thing, and I’d have to hold her and rock her and tell her to breathe.  She still did that a few times quite older-get herself worked up about things.

When we moved to Second Street (the house we moved to here from and the one she still wants back ๐Ÿ™‚ we lived only one house beyond rail road tracks and the trains were loud.  I trained myself to jump out of bed when I heard a train far away, and run to her room, because she was petrified of those trains for months and months after we moved in.  Finally she was used to it, but she was very sensitive especially at night time.

I will stop there, as we have to get up and moving, we made lots of sugar cookies with plenty of frosting, her favorite and are heading out for a day visit on this beautiful sunny cool September day which is exactly like the day we were lucky enough to have you come into our lives.  Happy Birthday to our Abbey.

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September 4, 2016 ยท 4 Comments

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  1. Jennifer says

    September 5, 2016 at 1:44 am

    I've been reading for a long time now, and the last few posts have really moved me. I'm a newish mom (2.5 year old boy), and I guess these posts remind me that childhood goes by fast. Thanks for the reminder and sharing your experiences.

    Reply
  2. Jennifer says

    September 5, 2016 at 1:44 am

    I've been reading for a long time now, and the last few posts have really moved me. I'm a newish mom (2.5 year old boy), and I guess these posts remind me that childhood goes by fast. Thanks for the reminder and sharing your experiences.

    Reply
  3. Barb says

    September 5, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    Sarah, this is a beautiful post! It made me tear up. Thank you for sharing your remembrances of Abbey's birthday with all of us. Happy Birthday Abbey!!

    Reply
  4. Unknown says

    September 7, 2016 at 3:18 am

    you guys for president!
    Happy Birthday Abbey

    Reply

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Welcome!

Sarah Turner

When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

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Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular. Just an o Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular.  Just an ordinary Monday morning breakfast counter after the kids leave for school.  Because ordinary gets the short hand in our culture but really it's extra special. 
It's a symbol of unselfishness, contentment, prudence and gratitude.  There is a certain peace about the ordinary.  It's the opposite of temporary-it holds the joy of contentment and gratitude and prudence all in one hand.  It's lends itself toward peace, and a settling in, not a constant search for more or less or anything.  Ordinary is authentic and good enough- in short it's a gem in disguise. ๐Ÿƒ
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! ๐Ÿก
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
๐Ÿƒ
As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
๐Ÿƒ
A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
๐Ÿƒ
Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! โ˜€๏ธ
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
๐Ÿƒ
I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
๐Ÿƒ
Clip on bed lights save space. 
๐Ÿƒ
A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
๐Ÿƒ
When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
๐Ÿƒ
All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฑ
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
โ˜€๏ธ
When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
โ˜€๏ธ
More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
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