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Home ยป Blog ยป Clara And A Few Thoughts

Clara And A Few Thoughts

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane

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I read this cute little book a month ago and I turned down a page and wanted to remember some things I gleaned from Clara’s wisdom-

“We didn’t have money like kids do today. We didn’t get everything we wanted , so when we had a treat, it was really special.”  She went on to talk about how a nickel would buy her some ice cream or another treat and how she looked forward to that all week (her parents gave her a nickel to spend on Sunday after they cleaned the house on Saturday.)

I read this book around Halloween time and I thought back to my Halloween and how much less of a super duper holiday it was-we lived on a small street and would come with maybe a dozen treats, and it was pure heaven.  A few times I’d be so excited for that darn candy and the whole trick-or-treat event, I would get sick with anticipation.  At school I don’t remember dressing up (maybe we did?) and I don’t remember any Halloween parties or bags of treats handed out at school, if we did get something, it was something very small like a cookie or a cupcake.  I never remember a store bought costume (did stores have costumes? there certainly weren’t Halloween stores) and my mom helped us put together something when we were young, and then we did on our own as we capable.

And then I compared that to what my kids experience now and thought about the crazy “overdoing it” culture that exists today.  By the time the holiday comes, some kids are worn out-from parties, from candy, from treats, from “specials”.  I’ve heard of some kids who don’t even want to trick-or-treat-a treat isn’t special anymore, they can have it anytime they want, and it’s nothing to look forward to.

I was laughing with a friend the other day-what happened to just a birthday party at home with cake???  Gosh I remember those!  Not hundreds spent on some grand event or destination-but just a simple party with cake and icecream. Or kids who open so many gifts at Christmas, it becomes almost a chore. How sad! To have so much, that nothing is special anymore. If we start out big, what will ever be good enough?  If we ruin the little special things, what will ever be left to look forward to? It’s a terrible disservice in way-to rob a child of anticipation, excitement, gratitude at such a young age-that is what makes childhood special isn’t it? The only way to keep that anticipation, excitement and gratitude today is to give less, and make special events “special” by experiencing them rarely. The more a child has given to him, the less it all means.

I’ve noticed the kids that are the most fun to be around, possess a certain joy for the simple things in life, and in return are a joy to be around. And what a precious gift that is-to have children who are a joy for everyone to be around!  And I’ve realized that in our crazy culture today, I have to be conscious of my desire to keep the “special” in life-it is definitely swimming against the tide and it is sometimes impossible to do.  But I want so much for my children to have that gift, because really it’s the most precious gift of all-unable to be purchased-unable to be given at any other time in life, and forms such wonderful character traits.

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December 5, 2015 ยท 10 Comments

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  1. Karin - BluePip Designs says

    December 5, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    Beautifully written, as always. I agree with this 100%. Around here, there are parties for Halloween for 2-3 weekends before the actual event, which I think is overkill. My kids "only" got to go trick or treating and they were fine with it. Last year I splurged at Christmas and got them 5 gifts each instead of the usual 4 and I could tell it was too much for them (they were 4&6, so not babies!). I am scaling back this year. I'd rather do a smaller Christmas and then surprise them with a small treat here and there throughout the year.

    Reply
  2. makingitmine says

    December 5, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    I loved this. I've been struggling with it right now. Friends invited my kids to go trick or treating at the mall Halloween morning. I declined, Mall trickortreating? Going twice? It seemed insane to me. I just delined another invite to a Xmas brunch were they wanted parents to bring a wrapped 20 dollar gift for Santa to give your child. I could not believe it. That's what Christmas morning is for. Sometimes I feel crazy.

    Reply
  3. S says

    December 6, 2015 at 1:56 am

    Although we suffered no deprivation as kids, I do remember looking forward to our annual summer vacation because we were each allowed to pick a sugary cereal – it tasted so good because it was a special treat! One of my biggest parenting regrets is going overboard at Christmas when they were very young and setting those over the top expectations. It is nearly impossible to change…and yet I remain astonished when my kids relay to me what their classmates received…makes my over the top pale in comparison yet I know we go overboard and it doesn't sit easily with me. Our culture is so consumer focused. My kids poke fun of my archaic non smart phone…but I truly do not need, or want, an I phone/smart phone. It seems to just be a race I don't want to run. I have been surprised at graduation parties – when did they get so big and not just immediate family and maybe grandparents??!!

    Reply
  4. Teegan says

    December 6, 2015 at 3:23 am

    Absolutely! Don't get me started on the tooth fairy either! I remember getting fifty cents, my friends child just got $50 and a gift!!! I was speechless!

    Reply
  5. Erin Southwell says

    December 6, 2015 at 5:19 am

    Love this, Sarah. Agree wholeheartedly.

    Reply
  6. Tiffany says

    December 6, 2015 at 7:03 am

    Sarah, thank you for being one bright shining spot of common sense on the internet now days. Please keep blogging forever!

    Reply
  7. Kathy says

    December 6, 2015 at 1:25 pm

    I so agree with this also. It is SO crazy. I work with someone who bought her daughter an SUV for her car in high school. They had to have the car outfitted with heated seats because the daughter was so upset they were not included. I still don't have heated seats. Oh my it is a crazy world.

    Reply
  8. cheledesma says

    December 7, 2015 at 6:45 am

    I so needed to hear this. Growing up poor, we never even had "just cake and ice cream". So now, I am overdoing just about every occasion. Need to reign in the "specials", especially this xmas. Thank you Sarah..

    Reply
  9. Amy Maze says

    December 7, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    i agree and also admit that i buy into some of this overdoing it too. with 1 child it is even worse b/c with each celebration i feel like…."this is the only/last 6th bday we'll ever celebrate" or "this is the last visit from the tooth fairy", or "this is the last year she may believe in santa" so i over fill the calendar to try to get in so many holiday activities or whatever. but, what you say is so true. scaling back is tough to do, but i'm going to try!

    Reply
  10. Jennyz says

    December 18, 2015 at 11:42 am

    I didn't know she had a book! I have watched a few of her videos where she cooks recipes from the depression. Love them, she is an amazing lady.

    Reply

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Sarah Turner

When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

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Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular. Just an o Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular.  Just an ordinary Monday morning breakfast counter after the kids leave for school.  Because ordinary gets the short hand in our culture but really it's extra special. 
It's a symbol of unselfishness, contentment, prudence and gratitude.  There is a certain peace about the ordinary.  It's the opposite of temporary-it holds the joy of contentment and gratitude and prudence all in one hand.  It's lends itself toward peace, and a settling in, not a constant search for more or less or anything.  Ordinary is authentic and good enough- in short it's a gem in disguise. ๐Ÿƒ
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! ๐Ÿก
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
๐Ÿƒ
As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
๐Ÿƒ
A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
๐Ÿƒ
Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! โ˜€๏ธ
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
๐Ÿƒ
I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
๐Ÿƒ
Clip on bed lights save space. 
๐Ÿƒ
A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
๐Ÿƒ
When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
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All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฑ
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
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When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
โ˜€๏ธ
More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
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