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Home ยป Blog ยป Toddler Tips: The Tiny Tots

Toddler Tips: The Tiny Tots

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane

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(Toddler proof barrier: This is the way my living room sometimes looked when Patrick was a young toddler and the older kids didn’t want him wrecking whatever they were bulding.)

There is an age between the time when a baby starts toddling (and is officially a ‘toddler’) and when they develop the will to be able to understand and obey directives.

This is the stage where they will hurdle head first down stairs. They will wiggle and squiggle to get down and want to run in church. When you take them to a party, your only job is to make sure they don’t pull off tablecloths, pour someone’s forgotten drink onto themselves, pick up every object and put it in their mouths or fling it, tear out all the pots and pans, play in the toilet and run, run, run.  It is a time of intense activity, it is a time when a mother’s heart drops at least once a day when she sees what could have potentially happened with those active feet and hands and tipsy body.  It tests the patience on those hard days and it takes lots and lots of energy.

It is important to remember that they are wired for exploration and discovery.  It’s really as if their brains and bodies are making them try again and again. Movement in and of itself is critical at that stage of human development. There are connections with the brain as exploration of one’s world takes over with great energy. The little one is truly driven to explore and manipulate his surroundings. The child is self constructing herself from all that surrounds her. It is her drive toward independence!


Here is my advice:

-Keep in mind that this is a short period of time that requires intense parental guidance. It will get easier!

-Do everything in your might to place them in hard environments as rarely as possible.  Make your home environment as safe as possible, so you can relax a little and they can explore. Your home with this age should be your oasis-where the toddler can explore all he or she wants and not have to worry about hearing no, no, no constantly or being under your thumb so that you cannot get a thing done.  I usually barricaded stairs and made sure bathroom doors were closed (and yes, older kids forget sometimes!) but I put lamps up, kept drawers and cabinets that were down low full of things I knew were safe for them to explore, and rubber banded the ones that weren’t ok, and let them have free reign.  Dr. Sears calls this creating a “yes” environment.

In my experience it was never enough for them and just frustrating to keep the toddler in one “play room”-they wanted to follow me and I wanted to be able to move somewhat freely around my house. To me, cleaning up a mess of pots and pans. or Tupperware, or a craft basket filled with yarn and paint brushes for them to explore, was easier than constantly keeping them away from things, and it also bought me precious time to cook or clean or help with homework. I just cleaned up the messes as I went along the day, embracing that this was the stage we were in right now.

-Pay attention to YOUR patience level. It is okay to say no to trivial outings and events and environments that might just push you beyond your patience level, and your little one beyond their ability to stay still.  There will be time for these things in the future! When they are necessary, knowing ahead of time that it wasn’t going to be a time when I could fully socialize and accepting that it would be hard work made it easier and gave me more patience.

-Redirect, redirect, redirect. Distract and divert.

-Don’t project into the future. Just because they don’t listen to “no” now, does not mean they will be naughty rebellious children and teenagers.  They aren’t purposely trying to drive us mad, nor are they at all old enough to be manipulative and conniving.  Be patient, be present, be “on the ball”, and have fun with them.  They can still learn “gentle”, “hot”, “no touch”, “yucky” etc, but it will have to be repeated and we will have to be engaged, not yelling across the room, expecting them to obey.

-Stay calm. Calm parenting makes for calm children. They are still just babies!  They are so so trusting and loving and easy to smile. They don’t need strict, punitive discipline, this will backfire. They need tender loving care, and a settled, appropriate environment while they explore their world.

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November 18, 2015 ยท 6 Comments

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  1. S says

    November 18, 2015 at 10:49 am

    I love that bit from Dr Sears to create a Yes environment- such a positive way to look at it (vs baby proofing which sounds so restrictive). We did the same as you – made life easier for sure. My older kids could only play with tiny toys during nap times or in a place that was closed off (love the barricade in your family room – hysterical!). I can't stress this enough – events for your older kids can be so hard for little ones. I see parents getting frustrated or having to walk the halls and miss a concert or sports event. Take turns staying at home with the little ones – the parent at the event can be fully present for your older child and the little one can relax in a familiar environment vs everyone frustrated or diverted. So much easier to divide and conquer. Same thing with family events – we would go for a short time or whatever- there are plenty of opportunities after they grow past that time intense period of constant attention. Whatever I thought I missed was outweighed by a quiet afternoon with baby/toddler( and maybe a nap or quiet time for mom!)

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  2. Katie Leipprandt says

    November 18, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    I love this post. I'm in this stage with child #4 right now and I have dreaded its coming for months. It's just so hard! The messes created by my "yes" environment house make me anxious and drive my husband crazy. It's so important to remember this is just a season. Love your tip to pay attention to my personal patience level…which seems to be pretty low! Thanks for your words and all your tips, I love learning from your experience!

    Reply
  3. Andrea Dekker says

    November 18, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    Amen! I told Dave just today that for the first time ever, Simon pushed me to my patience limit before Nora did. He's just into EVERYTHING. He can climb anything, figure out any child safety or prevention I try to put in place, and he's so determined. Today he covered his shirt in gak and colored all over his face with marker while I was changing a diaper. Then he broke a sibling's favorite toy and catapulted off the couch onto another toy and hurt his foot. He almost pulled a whole bowl of flour off the counter while I was baking and tripped down the bottom third of the steps before dinner (and that's just a few of the many instances today!) Sigh… thanks for the encouragement!

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  4. el.mar says

    November 19, 2015 at 6:45 am

    At 20 months, redirecting doesn't work anymore for my little. He knows what he wants and has a strong enough will to keep at it. Trying to redirect just makes for louder, longer crying/hitting fits. He is old enough to understand "no" and simple explanations though.

    He wants to "cook" at the real stove and is big enough to move a chair over to the stove to accomplish his plan. Or he sees me cooking and saddles up alongside me. I just roll with it and hand him a wooden spoon. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Creating a space for him to learn and explore and imitate shows him respect and encourages his independence.

    It is, as you say, "a short period of time". Let's make the most of it… for their sake and ours mamas!

    Reply
  5. Carolyn White says

    November 21, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    When I started reading your blog, I had two children. Now I am 43 and we have five – ages 23 to 2. I found myself getting frustrated with #5 a lot and it was because I had forgotten all about toddlers. Thank you for the loving encouragement and reminder that this stage passes all too quickly.

    Reply
  6. The Szeles Family says

    November 22, 2015 at 10:29 am

    Do you have any tips on 5/6 year old boys, who have been strong willed, angry, energetic, emotional, loud, up and down with moods since birth??? Not meaning to sound sarcastic or silly, I'm genuine with any seasoned mother tips.

    Love all your wisdom on here, i defenitely don't have any mother mentors within my family, but lots of lovely women at church. Always looking for more guidance ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

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Sarah Turner

When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

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Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular. Just an o Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular.  Just an ordinary Monday morning breakfast counter after the kids leave for school.  Because ordinary gets the short hand in our culture but really it's extra special. 
It's a symbol of unselfishness, contentment, prudence and gratitude.  There is a certain peace about the ordinary.  It's the opposite of temporary-it holds the joy of contentment and gratitude and prudence all in one hand.  It's lends itself toward peace, and a settling in, not a constant search for more or less or anything.  Ordinary is authentic and good enough- in short it's a gem in disguise. ๐Ÿƒ
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! ๐Ÿก
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
๐Ÿƒ
As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
๐Ÿƒ
A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
๐Ÿƒ
Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! โ˜€๏ธ
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
๐Ÿƒ
I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
๐Ÿƒ
Clip on bed lights save space. 
๐Ÿƒ
A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
๐Ÿƒ
When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
๐Ÿƒ
All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฑ
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
โ˜€๏ธ
When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
โ˜€๏ธ
More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
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