Love
When I hear Janey wake up after a long nap, I “spy” on her. I can peek through the door and see her sitting in her crib looking around. Sometimes she will play with one of the three little bunnies she has in her crib, but mostly she just wakes up slowly, and looks at things around the room.
It is just about the cutest thing ever.
And then I crack the door a little more, and she sees me spying and her whole face lights up into a huge grin.
My heart just fills with love and happiness.
I am grateful for every single day I spend with her.
I am grateful that I get to love her everyday, and be the first thing she sees when she wakes up.
I don’t think there is anything in the world that can bring more joy than our own children, do you?
I made the mistake the other day of cruising the internet a little…you know, going to this link or that link and wound up off my strict course of my few favorite uplifting blogs. I always regret it, darn it, I guess I just have to remind myself of that every once in awhile. When I stray I usually find something that just makes me feel so sad or like the whole darn society is going to pot.
I hope I’m so wrong but it seems like it has become too common for parents to complain about their kids, or what a pain babies are, or think it’s funny to have a misbehaving toddler or child.
We parents reap what we sow, and much more often that naught, our children’s behavior is the reflection of the time and love we put into our parental vocation.
Babies are precious sweet little perfect creatures that need us, their moms and dads, to love them all day and night long. So it’s sometimes requires us to give a lot. I just want to say to these parents-get over it! Grow up!
If babies are crying and fussy, they are tired or hungry or overstimulated and need some quiet time with us, their parents, alone. Could we look at this huge new world from their eyes or do we always just have to think about ourselves and our needs?
Toddlers and children-they want so badly to be good, they want to please us, they want us to love them. They rely on us to provide stability and consistency and gentle discipline and exercise and a nice calm atmosphere and good food and enough sleep.
And love and love and more love. From us. Directly from us. Which requires unselfishness on our part once again.
It shouldn’t be funny or cute or witty or popular to be a crappy parent. Ever.
But that’s generally the stuff of the internet, so what did I expect right?
I don’t want to dwell on that stuff. I want to see the good in this world, there is so much in it.
Last Sunday at church we had the cutest little family sit behind us.
They had four little ones, boom, boom, boom, boom, right in a row. They looked so neat and cared for, they each had a book with them to keep busy, and were trying hard to sit still. But two of the toddler boys had an argument over something, and mom had to take one to the cry room (in our church it’s just the vestibule) for a little while. I know she was probably cringing inside, but she shouldn’t have been. The love and care and time and investment these parents had was so apparent.
The other morning in the grocery store, I saw a mom talking to her little son who must have been about four. They were at the checkout and he was having a hard time with something (gum or Matchbox car most likely, I can relate!), tears of distress pouring down his face. She stooped down, and took his hands and listened to him, and said a few words, and he calmed down and wiped his tears. She didn’t threaten to hit him, or just ignore him, or roll her eyes. She loved him. She took the time to love him. It was beautiful.
I know that I am not perfect for sure, far from it, no parents are. I have had my days when I can’t find even that little bit of patience. I’ve for sure have had days when I’ve complained about my children and their endless needs, and when I’ve had a sleepless fussy baby, I’ve cried about how hard it is to have a sleepless, fussy baby.
But I’ve also learned over the last two decades that when I find the joy in mothering, yes, even when it requires every ounce of me, when I look through the world from the eyes of those who call me mommy, when I stop thinking “oh, this is hard” and started thinking “oh, i’m so lucky”, I’ve fully enjoyed all the aspects of parenting. I think I owe love and devotion to my children-I think all parents do.
I like to visualize each of my precious babies as little gifts I was chosen by the grace of God to receive-spiritual perfection enclosed in a tiny bundle of cute human-ness-I have such an obligation (sometimes overwhelming for sure!) to care and nurture these gifts-their little lives depend on us really, to survive and thrive for the rest of their lives.
beautiful post and it makes me reflect on my own parenting patterns. By the way, has anyone told you how much Janey resembles the Olson twins in their toddler years on the show Full House?
Yes– my mother soul feels this post with you. Well said. Thanks for filling my internet with truth. (Cutest dimples ever!!)
Beautiful. I know yelling mamas and daddys (usually mamas) in stores are just at the end of their ropes but it seems a deep breath and a quiet word seem to work better than screaming.
(Well, maybe dimples.)
Good post. Don't you just love spying on little ones as they wake and that smile when they see you is priceless.
Sarah, I want to let you know that you are one of my favorite reads on the internet. I am in my late twenties, my husband and I will be starting a family soon (God willing) and your blog is one of the reasons I am looking forward to it. Thank you for what you do.
I could repeat everything said here, expect I'm in my mid-twenties!
Thank you, Sarah. You're a blessing to us aspiring mothers too 🙂
I echo Marissa and Caroline. I am getting married this summer and your blog encourages me to be the best Mother I can be when the time comes!
Agree, agree, agree. This is why we need to do the "coming home" series!! 😉
Love this post the best I have read anywhere in so long. Thank you Sarah x
Sarah!! Absolutely! We need to love these treasures up! And while we are loving them, we need to assure them that there is nothing they can do to make us love them any more OR any less! Just like the Lord does with us. He loves us just the same when we have no patience left for our littles and when we are so very weary and can't stop complaining!! Love it!
Amen! I know we all make mistakes as a parent (it is part of the learning process). But, I too find so many complaining about parenting (which questions me to think, then why did you become one?). It is HARD work!!! No ands if or buts about it. I am seeing a trend that is increasing alarming (I teach 2-3s Bible class once a week)…the lack of discipline, the sense of self entitlement (oh, and don't get me started on teens in this category), and the general lack of discipline (parents either a)trying to be their child's friend or b)not wanting to deal with conflict. What are we teaching our kids? And, let's face it…WE are supposed to be teaching them…not the neighbor, not their teacher, not their friends, not the TV/Movies. US!!! My oldest recently became a high school special education teacher…oh the stories she can tell. She is only 24, and feels like SHE has to be MOM to many!! I love your posts Sarah, you always manage to keep things real without placing blame.
Yes indeed. A fantastic post and a great reminder of exactly what our role as a parent is meant to be. Bless you for your words today
Sarah thank you so much! I so trust and adore your experience as a fairly new Mom. Three has been a trying year both me and I think for my son too. He is such a sweet hearted and compliant child but he still likes to (and has to) test those boundaries. Sometimes it seems that it hits so hard and fast that I don't know how to help him and there is no instruction book. It's so hard to tow the line of giving them independence and enforcing who is the boss (me and Daddy…not him). I am going to try to do better at putting myself in his shoes.
Seriously! Your post is always PERFECT timing! There is some divine intervention going on. The older kids have been sick and we are on day three and the one year old is teething. I'm feeling stretched thin. I took a minute to browse the internet as my husband just walked in the door and I need a breather. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Thank you! We raised three children and "there were days" as they say–but when that moment passed we felt blessed and lucky to have our three children. Maybe we were lucky our children were quite easy to raise–and after three miscarriages before our son was born–we delighted ourselves in them. I have such a hard time with all the blogs complaining about motherhood and they are lost and forgotten in the raising of a family. Isn't raising a family, the giving and teaching of these beautiful gifts in all that they need what a mother isw. And taking simple joy in a smile or a kiss or the beauty of your child asleep in their bed or helping them do a new task. You are not lost in that. That is you the mother or father. I realize "there are days" and you think they won't ever get better. But let me tell you when you look back at raising your children you remember more of the good blessings then the bad days. We are blessed with five Grandchildren now and we get to relive and enjoy so many blessings with them. Life is so good—just enjoy it and thank God for the gifts you have been given–even on "Those Days"…
Can I just tell you that your blog posts bring so much joy to my day?? I love hearing from a mom who's been there, done that and IS there, doing that still. Your uplifting perspective is just what I need to hear, especially on those hard days. With 3 kids ages 2 and under I definitely have a few here and there 🙂
Parents who speak negatively about parenting reminds me of women who complain about their husbands. If you're looking for the faults in someone you're sure going to find it! Looking at the blessings of my kids and husband makes my attitude a whole lot better!
Thank you so much for this post Sarah! I agree wholeheartedly. I am a stay at home mom of two boys 11 and 8 and have been dealing with a lengthy battle with secondary infertility including the birth of a stillborn baby girl a few months before you had your Janey. It hurts my heart so much to see people being ungrateful towards their babies complaining that they need to go back to work, get a pedicure, have a girls night etc etc when I would give anything just to have a baby. I hope to beat secondary infertility and I know it has taught me so much. To be SO grateful for my boys and make everyday I have with them count. I can not tolerate todays ideals that make it popular and comical to be a poor parent. As always your words have really hit home with me and I am so glad I am not the only one who feels this way!!!
You are so right… Perspective is key. Sometimes I feel frustrated inside and then just take a big swig of thankfulness and the perspective is back again. Lovely post.xx
Love this post.
Thank you, Sarah. This brought tears to my eyes. I needed it tonight. I feel you were inspired to write it and it is an answer to prayers. So grateful for you.
Thank you so much for the reminder to try and see it from the kids perspective- it was definitely something I needed to hear as I try and navigate through these long winter days.
This post is just the reason I read your blog!!
Thank you. I always gain truth and perspective here. Beautiful post.
This is beautiful! And so true! I want to live next door to you and be your new best friend so I can soak in all your goodness 🙂
Perfect!
thank you! needed this after a hard day with my 18 month old! good parenting takes work, but so worth it!
Love this!
Thank you so much for this post. I am in the midst of figuring out life with a busy 2.5 year old and a new baby and I love them both to pieces, but have had many moments of frustration and exhaustion and feeling like I can't get anything done because I'm feeding and pumping and cleaning up messes, etc! 🙂 This is just what I needed to read today. I'll be re-reading whenever I need a little reminder of how much joy there is in being a mother.
Beautiful post…Just lovely!!!!!
Love this Sarah. I need to be more like the mom in the grocery store. 🙂
Today's post is just another reason why I love your blog!! Thanks for sharing:)
Thank you so much for your beautiful words! I sometimes wonder if I am living in the wrong place because I can't seem to find other moms that just want to be GOOD moms! They tolerate their children and can only speak about all the "bad" things about them. It breaks my heart so much that I'd rather not spend time with other moms most of the time. Your blog is my "go to" blog for inspiration and positive words about motherhood and family life. Thank you so much for that! Honestly, it means a lot when I feel like I have no one to turn to in my little corner of the world. Janey is so beautiful in the photo on this post… you can see how much she loves her mommy.
Oh Sarah, I have loved reading your thoughts and perspective over the past few years. This post was another one of those great ones I will think about often. So glad I found your blog a few years ago because you've really helped shape many things I do as a mother. I am a Mom to Emily (6), Maren (2), and Lindsey (1). I waited a long time for them so they are my treasures for sure. Just wish I could remember that all the time.
Thank you for this beautiful post. I, too, clicked my way to sites/articles tonight that made me sad about the changing value of the family. Your posts always uplift me and keep me motivated to savor my children and influence them for good while I can. Your children are so blessed to have you as their mom!
Janey is beautiful and I love how you write about motherhood. Sometimes there's this inward struggle in me that feels like I should be moving on to something else, because so many of my friends are… glad to have friends like you to add into my mix 🙂
I absolutely love this. YES! And I'm inspired to be a little kinder & gentler now. It's good to be reminded now & then. Happy Valentine's Day with all your little loves. 🙂
This post is so timely for me to read. I've been reading your blog for a few years now because I always find it so grounding, and yet so uplifting too. I love hearing from your experience, especially as I'm now a first time mother to a 5 month old. I just wrote a post yesterday about how parenthood makes us confront our weaknesses, while at the same time demanding we rise above them. (http://jadekeller.com/2014/02/momma-chat-14/) I've gotten a PhD, traveled the world, and moved across the globe to work to prevent child trafficking…and nothing I've done has been nearly so challenging, insanity-inducing, and yet also joyful, fun, tender, fascinating, and sweet as being a mama. If you ever have a moment to visit my blog from time to time, I'd really appreciate the encouragement! Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your world and your perspective.
With two little girls (3 & 8 months) I love reading your blog for the constant reminder that parenting isn't always easy but is very rewarding! Thanks for these beautiful words & the beautiful picture of Miss Janey 🙂
I just came across your blog for the first time this morning and I am so glad I did. What a beautiful post! I feel the same way about motherhood and it's wonderful to find another positive blog. Thank you!
Thank you Sarah for another beautiful post. (Especially when the snow is piling up, school is out yet again and the kids are getting on each others nerves). I really needed this encouragement this morning. You write so well and really know how to put things into perspective. You are very wise 🙂 Have a wonderful Valentines Day.
I love this post. My sister just had a baby and she is so selfish still and is so annoyed at how the baby is disrupting her life and it just breaks my heart. I wish I could just tell her to "grow up!" too. I don't understand how some moms can't have compassion and empathy for their own children. Thanks for the wonderful reminder that we are blessed to have them and we need to sacrifice. You always share such wisdom!
That was beautiful! you are such an inspiration to me 🙂
Another beautiful, well-written post. My children are older now, but the years I spent raising them at home were the best years of my life. So often, when I read your posts, I wish the messages could be spread to all the moms in the world. You have a gift for seeing and feeling what motherhood is all about. Have you ever considered writing for a wider audience? A column in a Catholic magazine? Or a book? You should!
I am so grateful that I was raised by a Mom AND Grandmas and Aunties who understood this and lived it and modeled it for me. I'm grateful that I found this blog and your voice when I was pregnant with our first boy – and now we have THREE 🙂 There is no challenge like parenting, but if we dig deep and minimize the complaining … It's amazing what we can accomplish! I'm not perfect and will make many, many mistakes … But every day – each hour – presents an opportunity to try again. Happy Valentine's Day to everyone here at Clover Lane! xoxo
Best post you ever wrote – no contest.
This post couldn't have come at a better time, thank you for writing it!
One of my favorite posts…so beautiful! xo!!
I am so thankful that I get to read your blog. Thanks for your words.
I have a list of favorite blogs too, but sometimes when I'm looking for something new to add to it, I get distracted and frustrated with all the "stuff" out there! Sometimes I find one I think is good, but then end up taking it off my list when it goes downhill, or the blogger stops blogging… Yours is my favorite one on my list, I think I found it through Power of Moms. Would you share your list of favorite uplifting blogs?
You are my uplifting blog! Thanks for that post. I have been blessed to be the mother of 5 and as I have matured as a mother, I have come to realize how much of a blessing it is to be their mother. Wish I would have had a better understanding of that 22 years ago when I began this journey.
Thank-you!
So beautifully and bravely said. I am so lucky to have you as a motherhood mentor in my life!
You are such a great mom, Sarah. Thank you for being so encouraging through your blog AND for giving the world 6 well raised people ( I have zero doubts all of your lovely children will be assets to this sometimes crazy and mixed up place!).
Sarah you continue to be one of those moms I look to for guidance!! Thank you thank you for your beautiful post about motherhood.
And this is why we read your blog!!! The only problem is, every time I read your blog I want another baby (I have three, the youngest is the same age as Janey), and I am afraid it is just not in the financial cards. Thank you for helping to remind us to embrace every moment with these precious gifts from God!!
The most beautiful post ever… I love reading your blog…
Love this, forwarding to my sweet daughters who are young moms, who, from time to time feel overwhelmed. Hearing wisdom from other than old mom is often just what s needed : ).
Thank you for writing with all you have to do! What encouraging and inspiring words. We live in a city where having one or two kids is a lot and where I only know a tiny handful of people who feel like parenting requires any sort of time. Not saying that right but I feel like the only conversations I have with people involve how quickly they can get their kids with a nanny and get back to real work or how to sign up for enough summer camps to keep them out of the way all summer. We just welcomed our fifth baby, my oldest is six, and I am so grateful to have a place to come to and hear words that remind me I am not alone in my belief that children are gifts and need our time and love. And I so hope you are the mom who sits behind us in church or spots us in the grocery store line…sometime it feels pretty lonely to have children especially when they just act like children! Thank you again!
Thank you, Sarah. I really needed this today. I've been feeling sorry for myself because I have a pinched nerve in my neck and my boys haven't helped out at all…blah blah blah. I woke up so irritated this morning. Thank God I quickly apologized and we had a great day, but definitely needed this reminder!
Sarah, I hope you realize how many lives you touch every day with your words of wisdom. I have been counting on your blog every day for over a year now. You have helped me through some difficult times with my beautiful girls and boy (21 months, 3 and 5). You have taught me to cherish these moments, when sometimes I feel as though my husband and I are alone in this parenting journey. We live amongst so many complaining parents, so eager to ship off their kids as soon as possible because "it's good for them". So many distracted parents, too, at every swimming lesson, every dance class, every grocery store outing, all on their phones. Your blog has given me the courage to go against the grain: no smartphones in this house, we plan to homeschool, and I "spoil" my 21-month-old by rocking him to sleep every night. Also because of you, I want to revisit my Catholic faith that has been long forgotten in the busyness of life. We are looking into mass every week as well as Sunday school for our precious little ones, again feeling like we are going against the grain. Thank you for helping me validate what my heart tells me every single day. Thank you for giving me the courage to parent the way God intended.
Such a beautiful post, Sarah. Thank you, thank you. I love your examples of what mothers can be, what I want to be. This is why you blog, and I'm so grateful that you do. xo
I love this! Thank you!
Thank you for this. Your words always help me to be a better mother. 🙂
Sweet, sweet thoughts. I shared a few over on my blog.
That was so sweet and true!
Beautifully written!
I love this.
I just love reading your thoughts on parenting. So calm and reassuring and uplifting! Thank you!
I'm expecting my third next week. You gave me Janey envy! Seriously! I love your attitude towards your children, family and, well.. got inspired!
THIS is why your MY Favorite Blog.
"We parents reap what we sow, and much more often that naught, our children's behavior is the reflection of the time and love we put into our parental vocation."
Big question for you that I hate to ask:
Why is it that people say you can do ALL the work in the world as a parent and your kids can still turn out bad.
Is that true? I really hate to believe that
(mevans91@verizon.net)
I raised three kids with no help. My mom died when I was young.
I did have to work a little bit (a few years full time, alot part time) but I mostly got to stay home with them, and your words take me back to those SATISFYING times, and I hate to think that all my hard work is just well, flip of a coin, and people who i see were CLEARLY bad parents and they say well i tried….or it wasnt my fault…makes me mad (if your not part of the solution you are part of the problem)
and your story of the woman in grocery store who loved her child back to contentment (well, most the time I feel i was inept at that, but ya know what,, i made mistakes, and I can still improve and practice on my 3 adult kids who still live at home and are in college (and i am proud of them) and I hope my hard work pays off someday….and that its not an ACCIDENT that kids turn out the way they do, i just find that a hard pill to swallow, whether parents realize they suck at parenting or not, i could never say well, he turned out like crap because, well, who knows why, it wasnt my fault. dont. like. that.
Thank you for having the inspiration to share your tender thoughts. I am that mother – who focuses on how hard things are. Yet I work really really hard at doing this job. My husband is out of town 6 days and home for 3 (pilot) – I parent with negative external sources telling me I'm not doing enough. My first born son (3) is my biggest challenge. We also have a 20 month old boy and another arriving in two months. We plan to have more and I'm looking forward to our family continually growing. I have had to learn how to be a mother, from inspiring friends at Church or from such places as the blogging world. My son is beautiful, smart, caring and happy – he just is intense (!!) and can go from high to low all day long and I find it incredibly challenging to keep on keeping on. My other son doesn't have the same temperament and I find it refreshing. I don't want to fall into the comparison trap but have been doing that for so long even before the second baby came along. I work hard at looking after these little ones virtually on my own without any close family support. I manage to do pre school activities at home as well as limit screen time to a bare minimum. I discipline with patience and not force, but can often loose my cool. I know that I am doing somewhat well – it's just the focus on how hard it is that I have to train my brain out of. That's why I appreciate these words so much. I am young in my motherhood and hope that I will come through this time one day seeing the fruit of my labours. There is so much I'd love to say on all that you wrote but this is all I could come up with right now.
Thank you
Ann
Beautifully written and I couldn't agree with your words more. Thanks for sharing!
Okay, I just found your blog through another blogger. During the beginning of your post, I was a little annoyed, but as I kept reading, I realized how right you are. I really, really, really loved this post. Thank you for writing it! I struggle with patience every now and then, and when that's happening, it's really hard to find joy in life. But your words were beautiful describing how we should see our children as such precious gifts. It is soooo so so so true. More than patience, I struggle with having a negative attitude. I am normally a very happy person, but have went through a couple of tough months, and my attitude is everything…I know. Sometimes it is so hard to pull yourself out of that negative mindset, and sometimes it's refreshing to know that other moms struggle too….but EVEN MORE refreshing is reading something like this….so thank you. xo