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Home ยป Blog ยป “Lay It On Me Again, Will You?”

“Lay It On Me Again, Will You?”

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane

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I posted this column three years ago and thought it was worth another post.  This month can be an overwhelming time for moms, especially those with many children.  I love this little reminder…oh boy, I need it this week!  It always makes me cry-and gain some new much needed perspective.

An Erma Bombeck Column:

A young mother writes: “I know you’ve written before about the empty-nest syndrome — that lonely period after the children are grown and gone. Right now, I’m up to my eyeballs in laundry and muddy boots. The baby is teething; the boys are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat without him, and I fell off my diet. Lay it on me again, will you?”

OK.



One of these days, you’ll shout, “Why don’t you kids grow up and act your age!”



And they will.



Or, “You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do … and don’t slam the door!”



And they won’t.



You’ll straighten up the boys’ bedroom neat and tidy — bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you’ll say out loud, “Now I want it to stay this way.”



And it will.



You’ll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn’t been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you’ll say, “Now, there’s a meal for company.”



And you’ll eat it alone.



You’ll say: “I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?” And you’ll have it.



No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti.



No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms.



No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps.



No more clothespins under the sofa.



No more playpens to arrange a room around.



No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent.



No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathrooms.



No more iron-on patches, wet, knotted shoestrings, tight boots, or rubber bands for ponytails.



Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it. No baby sitter for New Year’s Eve. Washing only once a week. Seeing a steak that isn’t ground. Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.



No PTA meetings.



No car pools.



No blaring radios.



No one washing her hair at 11 o’clock at night.



Having your own roll of Scotch tape.



Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste.



No more sloppy oatmeal kisses.



No more tooth fairy.



No giggles in the dark.



No knees to heal, no responsibility.



Only a voice crying, “Why don’t you grow up?”



and the silence echoing, “I did.”

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December 4, 2013 ยท 30 Comments

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  1. Andreae says

    December 4, 2013 at 10:51 am

    I normally love reading your blog….but I wished I'd seen this one coming!!!! I am suffering badly from empty nest syndrome and so envy that you still have your babies around you. Mine are busy off at uni and the eldest finished and now with a grown-up life. I can't believe after the busy-ness of the past 25 years I now sit in tears reading this. My husband at another late meeting…avoiding the empty house.

    Reply
  2. Darnetha | ChippaSunshine says

    December 4, 2013 at 11:29 am

    This just makes me sad…but it puts it all in perspective.

    Reply
  3. knit one, knit two says

    December 4, 2013 at 11:29 am

    Dreading when this day comes…

    Reply
  4. Amy says

    December 4, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    I think about it dailyโ€ฆfeel like someone is behind me, pushing through this life WAY too fast. With one in high school and one in middle school I am trying desperately to savor every dayโ€ฆ.and hold on to all the messes and the car rides to and from activities. It makes me think I should have had 5 instead of 2. Thanks for repostingโ€ฆI remember my Mom reading all those Erma Bombeck booksโ€ฆwise woman!

    Reply
  5. PaperTiger says

    December 4, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    Love, love your blog! My children are now in that "middle age stage", two in college, one in high school and one in middle school and I so miss the early years! Just yesterday as I hunted for the match for another giant black Nike sock and cursed the swoosh symbol, I mentally told myself to be quiet for all to soon there won't be any socks to sort!! Boo Hoo!

    Reply
  6. Rebecca says

    December 4, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    My 1 year old woke last night with croup, and it was a long night taking turns sitting on the porch in the cool air and sleeping next to the humidifier. What timing that I should read this as soon as I got the bigger boys off to school this morning. Thankful tears. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  7. Sleen says

    December 4, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    So true. I love Erma–she died too young. I confess to having purchased my daughter her OWN tape dispenser for Christmas last year to keep her from stealing mine (she still steals mine!).
    LOVE the Janey pic!!! Had a similar incident with a huge container of rice…

    Reply
  8. Jody says

    December 4, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    my bedroom is a train wreck between hiding presents for 9 kids, laundry that needs to be folded and having a precious 11 wk old baby that didn't get the memo that mommy could use some more sleep. it does pass fast and this is the time to cherish. thank you for the reminder!

    Reply
  9. Danielle says

    December 4, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    Totally needed to read this. Especially around the holidays when everything can get busy and stressful. Some day there won't be a kid nagging about the Elf on the Shelf or pestering me as I try to get dinner ready at a reasonable time. Thank you for the reminder to chill a bit and enjoy my kiddos.

    Reply
  10. twinsontherun says

    December 4, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    I try to remind myself daily how quick this time is going to go. Sometimes these columns/stories leave me in tears because I know I can't keep my babies little forever!

    Reply
  11. katie says

    December 4, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    You are the best! Thank you!

    Reply
  12. Giovanna says

    December 4, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    Thanks for this reminder today!!

    Reply
  13. Shawna says

    December 4, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    well dang Sarah!! Today is my older sons 18th birthday and I was trying to not be weepy or too nostalgic today!!! Great and very very true!! I have to say that like you, I can't imaging not being a stay-at-home momโ€ฆI have home schooled for 10 years now and the older one is in a private high school, and the middle one is there part time~and I still don't think I had enough time with them. I know our way of parenting is looked down upon by others most of the time~but thank the Lord at this milestone I can look back without regret!! And I am so thankful that I have people like you, that are like-minded and I can do life with!!!! Have a great day~~ and I love the look on Janeys face~!!!!

    Reply
  14. jeana says

    December 4, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    You inspire me in motherhood like no other. Goodness gracious! We have 3 boys, the oldest all of the sudden will be 12 next week. I can't believe that I'll have a teenager next year! Mind blowing. Our youngest will be 6 in February and after much prayer for courage after having pregnancies like yours we have decided to add to our family. I'm so thankful that God has used you to show me that these kids are worth it. Thank you for believing that children and families are wonderful blessings!

    Reply
  15. Talia says

    December 4, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    A lovely reminder for sure.

    Reply
  16. Audrey Chandlee says

    December 4, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    Only had 5 minutes before kindergarten pick-up time. So glad that I chose your blog to click on in that time. Thank you!

    Reply
  17. Kimberly says

    December 4, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    Made me weepy. Thanks. Always helps to remember that.

    Reply
  18. Jill Carroll says

    December 4, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    I love your blog. Great reminders. Thank you.

    Reply
  19. Amy Makechnie says

    December 4, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    I've always enjoyed this – even though it makes me weepy. Thank you, and have a wonderful Christmas!

    Reply
  20. Amy Makechnie says

    December 4, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply
  21. Becky says

    December 4, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    I could cry over these days of four boys aged 10 and under whizzing by too fast, but why? Why shouldn't I look forward to the days of a quiet, clean house and the ability to take a nap whenever I want to? I am determined to enjoy every stage of life and not dread the next one, as it is inevitably coming. I will find joy in silence.

    Reply
    • Sarah says

      December 4, 2013 at 9:33 pm

      I agree Becky! I think every stage of life has it's joys and struggles. It's just nice to be reminded of that sometimes.

      Reply
    • Happy Annie says

      December 5, 2013 at 4:34 am

      Becky, I was thinking the same thing! I have loved every stage of my life: being a child, a teen, a young woman and new wife, a mom of babies and toddlers, and now a wife of 20 years and a mom of a highschooler and a 4th grader. Every once in a while I look at photos of chubby knees and miss those days, but mostly I am just happy in the moment. I have never cried over the past or the thought that I will not have any more kids. I really feel like you do. Like each stage of life is a blessing if you let it be. Each stage has beauty and happiness if you let it. I don't dwell on the fact that someday my kids will be grown and happily living their own lives, but I hope when the time comes I will feel peace knowing I did a good job raising them and contentment in the life I am living…just as happy…but different. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  22. Anonymous says

    December 4, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    I love this saying. I found it a few years ago, and decided to make it a daily reminder. I superimposed the quote over a picture of my children, and framed it. It's up where I see it every day and I find that it helps to put things in perspective when I've had just about all that I can take and bedtime is still a long way off.

    Reply
  23. Vickie says

    December 4, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    I think you and Erma are two smart ladies!!! Thank you for the beautiful reminder!!!!

    Reply
  24. lauralee says

    December 5, 2013 at 3:36 am

    can't even read it. too close. too true.

    Reply
  25. Chris Janne says

    December 5, 2013 at 4:22 am

    So very true, however "empty nest" is just a time between being a parent and being a grandparent, which is the ultimate reward. Trust me, I know!

    Reply
  26. mmommo1 says

    December 5, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    yay Janey!

    Reply
  27. Karen says

    December 6, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    I loved reading this. Erma helped my mother keep her sanity when she was raising the four of us kids. I can still hear her laughing over Erma's column in the newspaper, and calling her friend so they could laugh together. I am in the empty nest stage and while I'm loving it, I DO miss those handmade Christmas ornaments and the sand in the sheets after a day at the beach. And I miss having the kids at home, safe under our roof. It's a tough world out there.

    Reply
  28. Katie Knight says

    January 10, 2014 at 5:56 am

    tears

    Reply

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Sarah Turner

When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

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Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular. Just an o Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular.  Just an ordinary Monday morning breakfast counter after the kids leave for school.  Because ordinary gets the short hand in our culture but really it's extra special. 
It's a symbol of unselfishness, contentment, prudence and gratitude.  There is a certain peace about the ordinary.  It's the opposite of temporary-it holds the joy of contentment and gratitude and prudence all in one hand.  It's lends itself toward peace, and a settling in, not a constant search for more or less or anything.  Ordinary is authentic and good enough- in short it's a gem in disguise. ๐Ÿƒ
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! ๐Ÿก
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
๐Ÿƒ
As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
๐Ÿƒ
A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
๐Ÿƒ
Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! โ˜€๏ธ
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
๐Ÿƒ
I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
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Clip on bed lights save space. 
๐Ÿƒ
A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
๐Ÿƒ
When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
๐Ÿƒ
All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฑ
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
โ˜€๏ธ
When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
โ˜€๏ธ
More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
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