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Home ยป Blog ยป Rocking By The Window

Rocking By The Window

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane, Mothering

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“A first child is your own best foot forward, and how you do cheer those little feet as they strike out. 

You examine every turn of flesh for precocity, and crow it to the world. 

But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after–oh, that’s love by a different name. 

She is the babe you hold in your arms for an hour after she’s gone to sleep. If you put her down in the crib, she might wake up changed and fly away. 

So instead you rock by the window, drinking the light from her skin, breathing her exhaled dreams. 

You heart bays to the double crescent moons of closed lashes on her cheeks. She’s the one you can’t put down.”

.Barbara Kingsolver.

My friend Erinsent me that quote and I when I read it I immediately need to reach for some tissues.  How can you not?  It’s so beautifully expressed-exactly how I feel about Janey.  

The last two weeks have been fussy-fussy by Janey’s standards which are pretty good standards.  Lots of waking-quick naps-lots of nursing, lots of carrying around-me using one hand to make a sandwich, do the laundry, get dressed.  I look at what I need to get done and can only look-which gets frustrating sometimes, but not many times.  Years and years ago, it would have frustrated me so much more-now I think, “Oh what the heck, I’ll get to it another day.”  I make schedules and lists, thinking it will help me “catch up” only to rip them down and pitch them days later.  It doesn’t matter.  Really, it doesn’t.  Babies are so important-sure, there are other important things in life, but not much else.  Not much else at all.  

It’s such a little minuscule bit of our lives that we have these little tiny ones-and such crucial years for them.  Some say the most important years and I believe them.    What can compare?  If I live to 100-and I’m planning on it-that’s six years for my each of my babies that I’ve spent nursing and shushing and bouncing-even if you doubled that to include the next intense year of baby care, it’s about 10% of my life.  10% for my babies-to hold, to cuddle, to soothe, to love tenderly.  I wouldn’t trade that tiny bit-this precious gift of minutes and hours and days and months-for anything.

I learned quickly with my first, being amazed at how quickly a year, then another, and another-all eighteen of them-can come and go, that I want to do anything but rush this stage-or push it to the sidelines, or be frustrated by my inability to meet the demands of the outside world that is calling me away to do trivial things, or be distracted and occupied by life in general.  I do not want to forget to cherish these sweet baby moments-while time flies.

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April 16, 2013 ยท 28 Comments

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  1. Shawna says

    April 16, 2013 at 5:15 am

    exactly! In the grand scheme of things, and times in our life~holding, nursing, loving and nurturing our little babies is such a fleeting time. And it can't be rewound,…or I would have done it over and over!!! They all grow up too quickly, and even though I wanted to snatch at those moments and make them last forever, they didn't….my baby is now 10(last week actually) and I can't seem to grasp that she is not still my teeny tiny newborn baby girl!! enjoy that little Janey and doing your one-handed chores!!!!! Blessings to you!!

    Reply
  2. marlowe says

    April 16, 2013 at 5:17 am

    Thanks Sarah:)

    Reply
  3. vera says

    April 16, 2013 at 5:40 am

    Oh your timing…. *SNIFF*…. I just weaned Wyatt. Aside from the hormonal devastation and general sadness, this is the end of my childbearing. No more milk, no more babies. *SOB*

    Reply
  4. Jody says

    April 16, 2013 at 5:47 am

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply
  5. Jody says

    April 16, 2013 at 5:51 am

    So well expressed. With the business of life- my youngest, 18 months old, it just breaks my heart when life gets busy- I just want to stare at her and do whatever she wants. Lovely post. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  6. Owlhaven says

    April 16, 2013 at 6:19 am

    So very true.
    Mary, momma to 10, the youngest of whom is 8

    Reply
  7. Mama Sue says

    April 16, 2013 at 6:49 am

    Thanks so much for sharing…so sweet. It goes for those of us who have an only child…I knew by the time she came I wouldn't risk having another one and not be here for her. Lucky for me she is a girl who is nearly 13 and dearly holding on to her childhood with her dolls, My Little Ponies and make believe play. I'm go glad she is choosing to grow up slowly when her other friends are wanting make-up, boyfriends and freedom. I know those days will come oh so soon.

    Reply
  8. Jeanneke says

    April 16, 2013 at 7:26 am

    So true!
    I am so blessed and happy I can still / again live this truth with my grandchildren.
    Thanks for sharing, Barbara, Erin and Sarah!!
    Cheers,

    Jeanneke.

    Reply
  9. Bethany says

    April 16, 2013 at 7:27 am

    What an excellent quote, and so true! My fifth baby (and last) is 15 months old, and I am begging time to slow down. It just all goes too fast.

    Reply
  10. Lisa says

    April 16, 2013 at 7:39 am

    amen.

    Reply
  11. Lisa says

    April 16, 2013 at 7:39 am

    amen.

    Reply
  12. Sarah says

    April 16, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    I love this! So very true!

    Reply
  13. Tracy says

    April 16, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    How sweet! This is so true with my 4th baby!

    Reply
  14. Love Being A Nonny says

    April 16, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    I love that you recognize it…even when you are living it. So often we only recognize it when it's all said and done. Janey is one blessed baby girl!

    Reply
  15. Jenny says

    April 16, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    This is wonderful. I SO love your perspective on the baby stage, Sarah. As a first time mom of an 11.5 month old baby girl (I'm trying not to think about her turning one in just weeks!), I've been constantly inundated by society's ideals of parent-centered parenting. It makes me nuts! Like you say, babies are important, not something to be camoflauged into the routine of daily life. Whether they be the first, last, or middle, their babyhood goes much to fast. It is up to us to savor it.

    Reply
  16. Melissa says

    April 16, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    Tears!! I need to go scoop up my "baby" now.

    Reply
  17. Heather says

    April 16, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    Oh, that is so good! Thanks for sharing. It's a very hard love to describe, eh?

    Reply
  18. katie says

    April 16, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    Tears, tears! I was just having this discussion with my sister-in-law today. Her youngest 3 months, mine 8 months–we just want a baby forever!! That sweet light of a little one in your home…there is nothing like it! Thank you for sharing that beautiful quote!!

    Reply
  19. Wendy says

    April 16, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    Awe what a beautiful quote, so dear. I love Janey's pinky cheeks. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  20. Stacey B. says

    April 16, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    I'm always five seconds from crying over my baby girl. This pushed me right over…sometimes, I don't know how to handle or process all of the emotion.

    Reply
  21. Traci says

    April 16, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    So true. What a beautiful quote, and just how I feel about my 15 month old as I now am 43 years old. It goes so very, very fast.

    Reply
  22. chercard says

    April 16, 2013 at 10:40 pm

    This made me cry just now! My baby turns 3 this Sunday and I can't believe it, in fact I may use the quote on my blog post about his birthday. ๐Ÿ™‚ It has flown by and while I love raising my family and being done with pregnancy and such, I will ALWAYS miss having a baby in my home! Something sweet and special about them.

    Reply
  23. John and Crystal Pinegar Family says

    April 17, 2013 at 12:17 am

    I am so jealous. I had all six of my kids super close together. I knew that if I wanted a big family it would have to be fast. 6 kids in 9 years. It has been so exhausting. I feel bad that I haven't been able to enjoy my babies like I wanted to. I have been to busy putting out fires, just flying by the seat of my pants instead of the proactive parenting I wanted to do. Now my baby is 2 1/2 half and I doubt that I'll be able to have anymore and I'm just sad that I didn't have time to sit and enjoy those sweet babies. So enjoy her!

    Reply
  24. Sandrocas says

    April 17, 2013 at 4:29 am

    They're only little once!! We were blessed to have two, as I suffer from severe endometriosis, I put aside everything for them, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. There will be many working years ahead…mine are 13(boy), and 8(girl). :'(

    Reply
  25. Quite Sensible Indeed says

    April 17, 2013 at 4:47 am

    This is perfect. I have loved and savored every minute of my fourth baby. (Ok, so maybe not at 2 am, 4 am AND 6 am). When she was a few months old having a party at midnight and both of her parents were lavishing our adoring attention upon her…we knew this girl was straight from heaven. I only wish I had the same perspective with the first ones!

    Reply
  26. Erikita says

    April 17, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Beautiful quote! I've seen your friend Erin's parent's home in Louisiana profiled in Country Living magazine.

    Reply
  27. Magnolia Verandah says

    April 18, 2013 at 8:47 am

    I agree with you never short change a miracle – in the long run its such a short time and how quick does it fly by.

    Reply
  28. Marisa says

    April 29, 2013 at 2:42 am

    Oh my goodness, I love that quote so much. Which book of Kingsolver's is it from?

    Reply

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Sarah Turner

When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

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Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular. Just an o Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular.  Just an ordinary Monday morning breakfast counter after the kids leave for school.  Because ordinary gets the short hand in our culture but really it's extra special. 
It's a symbol of unselfishness, contentment, prudence and gratitude.  There is a certain peace about the ordinary.  It's the opposite of temporary-it holds the joy of contentment and gratitude and prudence all in one hand.  It's lends itself toward peace, and a settling in, not a constant search for more or less or anything.  Ordinary is authentic and good enough- in short it's a gem in disguise. ๐Ÿƒ
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! ๐Ÿก
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
๐Ÿƒ
As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
๐Ÿƒ
A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
๐Ÿƒ
Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! โ˜€๏ธ
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
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I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
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Clip on bed lights save space. 
๐Ÿƒ
A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
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When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
๐Ÿƒ
All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฑ
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
โ˜€๏ธ
When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
โ˜€๏ธ
More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
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