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Home » Blog » Day By Day Come What May

Day By Day Come What May

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane, Mothering

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So do not worry about tomorrow; 

for tomorrow will care for itself. 

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

A couple night’s ago I had a case of insomnia.  I felt so overwhelmed by motherhood.  You know how your head can hit the pillow and you can allow yourself to start thinking about all have to do?  I can do this easily when I think of all the duties, obligations and energy I need to store up and fulfill all year long in one lump sum.  I know by now that thinking of a year’s worth of anything, especially parenting, will give me a massive case of anxiety and worry and insecurities and helplessness.  If I worry about the future, (and boy can there be a lot of worry about the future, as you see the “future” with teenagers being years away, not a decade or more that seemed forever when they were little toddlers) I lose confidence in myself.  Of course, there is nothing wrong with future plans, or goals or dreams, or thoughts.  But when those little things all become ONE giant looming mountain of “Make sure you, You have to, What if, When are we, Will he be able to, Will she remember,” my role seems daunting at best, impossible at worst.

When I take this important job I have day by day, sometimes week by week, I feel a sense of peace and purpose and joy in what I do and the anxiety is chased away.  There is nothing wrong with planning for the future, but when I think of decades, when I dream up all the what if’s, it doesn’t get me anything but a bucket of worry.

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January 18, 2011 · 21 Comments

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  1. vera says

    January 18, 2011 at 6:47 am

    I just wrote a similar insomniac post. Hope you get some sleep – I'm headed to bed to try again!

    Reply
  2. Stef says

    January 18, 2011 at 6:54 am

    That is so true. The future, with children in mind, can be overwhelming. But we only have today. That's it.

    Reply
  3. luvnmy10 says

    January 18, 2011 at 10:39 am

    I heard a great quote by a very good man recently to a teenaged boy. He said it is good to know where you want to be in x number of years, but right now, your focus should be on being a student, being the best student you possibly can. Then, and only then, he told him, other opportunities will open up and send you in the direction you want to go. I loved that and when applied to my life helps me focus on being the best mom I can right now, just right now. I can do that! Very similar to the Matthew scripture you quoted. I love your posts–always hit home with me.

    Reply
  4. The Renwicks says

    January 18, 2011 at 11:34 am

    I know this feeling all too well. Im not really sure when it started, as I dont fancy myself as someone who is easily stressed. Im a caterer, wedding cake maker, full time mum and now head up the events and hospitality in our new church building in London, and somewhere along the line all the worries about everything, all of the to do lists for today, tomorrow and 2020 came flooding in! Ive been up till 3am three nights out of 7. My brain racing and mind ticking over. When I start to pray about the things to lay them to rest I start to hear His voice, enjoy the time with Him. While its great, it doenst get me sleep! So, last night, I just asked Him to show me. WHY wont I stop thinking, why wont my mind rest. He showed me that in the business of my day and the constant focus on my boys, my responsibilities, my dreams, my hopes, my fears, that I forget about ME. Me and Him. Him and I. I pray for my kids, my hubby, our plans our fears, but I dont stop to feel. So now, when I cant sleep, I think about ME – about how much I actually DO feel tired. About how my body ACHES, about how soft the duvet is. About how much I would feel like lying here if it were wake up time! And that If I dont leave His business to Him, and let him take care of everything, there wont be anything left of me. So Im trying to be open handed with our life. Live my day today. Make lists for tomorrow and trust that the piece of paper will still be there in the morning. Sorry for the long rant but boy – this is where Ive been at! xxx

    Reply
  5. Amber@Munchkin Land says

    January 18, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    One of my absolute favorite Bible verses! I can be a worry wart myself and I just have to let it all go- sometimes it can take me days to do so, but I end up letting myself -LET GO. Take a breath, take a bath, take your iPod and let your worries go down the drain. 😉 You are wonderful and I'm sure your mother nothing less!

    Reply
  6. Cathy M~(checkitoff) says

    January 18, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Ah yes, the worry! I do think it is worse in January when we are bundled up, somewhat isolated from others, and low light. Remembering that this is a tough time of year for us Midwesterners, is important. It will get better as the days get longer. Do try to get outside every day for fresh air~it will help a bit. Love this passage from Matthew.

    Years ago I took a Dale Carnegie class on "How to Stop Worrying & Start Living" and it did help. Will see if I can find the book & pass along a few tidbits. (Course Dale wasn't a mother!)

    Reply
  7. Maiden Jane says

    January 18, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    Those "what ifs" are definitely sleep stealers. Those are good words to live by, but hard to live by.

    Reply
  8. Ruth says

    January 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Proverbs 3:5-6 is my favorite scripture. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
    In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
    I have considered this scripture often, putting different emphasis on different words – which changes and deepens the meaning behind the words. Especially the two "all" words – which call for more commitment and acceptance of His dealings with me!
    All mothers have worry times – but what we do during the day is much more important. Each morning, pray that God will guide you to do the most important things that day. He knows what is best, after all.
    Sometimes the day will be filled with just small stuff, and at bedtime prayer I realize that small stuff is what life is made the most of.

    Reply
  9. Erin says

    January 18, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    What a great reminder. I'm not a mom yet, but I share your struggle. Aren't the words of Christ such a comfort? Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  10. Kristen@hillcountrycolonial says

    January 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    a bucket of worry….I like that. It reminds me of my mom who says "that and a quarter will buy you a Coke". Well it used to anyway. Thanks for the sweet post.

    Reply
  11. Lia says

    January 18, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    Sarah, I think just knowing that I'm not the only one who feels overwhelmed is reassuring. I love that bible verse. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  12. NanaDiana says

    January 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    Yep- At this age, I have finally learned to live in the day…not project into the future nor dwell in the past…just to live in the day. It makes my life much less stressful. Hugs-Diana

    Reply
  13. Unknown says

    January 18, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    How fitting this was to me today as I woke this morning at 4:30 am unable to go back to sleep because I had had a bad dream and lie worrying about my 7 year old son and how will he grow up safe and kind etc… I have 3 children, 7,5 and 4 and I so worry about the future and my role as a mother. Thank you for the post. I have printed it and will put it where I can see it everyday.

    Reply
  14. Kim says

    January 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    It's so true Sarah, thinking about life one day at a time is all that we are equipped to handle. I get carried away with fear and worry all the time thinking about going back to work in June when my mat leave is up. I did the same thing last time with my first baby and things turned out just fine. Now I find myself getting crazy wondering how my preschooler will handle Junior Kindergarten in September – how will I pack enough for him to eat, what if he isn't fully toilet trained by then and on and on. I love the scripture you quoted here. I can only imagine how nuts I'll be when my kids are teens like some of yours are!

    Reply
  15. Virtuous Woman Exposed says

    January 18, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    You know the saying "crazy people don't know they're crazy."
    I think mothers who don't worry about their kids SHOULD worry about their kids.
    The mothers who worry are the ones who have the kids best interest at heart, and you'll have great kids for it.
    "for I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm, plans to give you a future and a hope."
    This is the scripture that keeps me grounded when the worry insomnia kicks in.
    Blessings and prayers of peace and sleep.
    http://www.virtuouswomanexposed.blogspot.com

    Reply
  16. Amanda says

    January 18, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    Was going to write that verse but see you are on top of it! I read it just this morning in my devotions.

    I read the MOPS Devotional Bible and always come across the exact thing I need to hear/read for that day. I was feeling similar to you a few months ago, and of course received my answer that morning in devotions.

    Reply
  17. Laura says

    January 18, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    thank you
    it is so true
    and so easily forgotten

    Reply
  18. Anonymous says

    January 18, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    Why is it that our minds wonder so much at night? I usually feel better in the morning, but only because the craziness starts and I don't have time to worry.

    One day at a time!

    Reply
  19. anya13.1 says

    January 19, 2011 at 1:30 am

    I love coming to your site–I think you must read my mind with your posts or know what I need to hear. Thank you for your words of wisdom and know they are just what this mom needs to hear.

    Reply
  20. Erin says

    January 19, 2011 at 5:41 am

    Thank you Sarah. Did you write this for me!!?? I'm sure not, but it was just what I needed to hear right now. Moms are all alike, aren't they? Taking on the weight of the world when it comes to wanting the best for our kids. And we worry worry worry about everything possible to worry about. Starting right now I'm going to just worry about tomorrow.

    I already feel better.

    What would I do without your advice/opinions/help/guidance through motherhood and life? You are quite simply the best. Thank you so much for your blog and your friendship.

    Reply
  21. Seizing My Day says

    January 19, 2011 at 6:21 am

    Amen!! Yep… so so SO easy to get sucked into the worry path…. guilty! There are so many things that consume a mommy heart…it is crazy! 😉

    my solution is to stay up really really late watching Netflix DVD's until I am exhausted amd pass out… ha ha… just kidding… well… except that I have been doing that a little too much lately!!

    Reply

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Sarah Turner

When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

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Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular. Just an o Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular.  Just an ordinary Monday morning breakfast counter after the kids leave for school.  Because ordinary gets the short hand in our culture but really it's extra special. 
It's a symbol of unselfishness, contentment, prudence and gratitude.  There is a certain peace about the ordinary.  It's the opposite of temporary-it holds the joy of contentment and gratitude and prudence all in one hand.  It's lends itself toward peace, and a settling in, not a constant search for more or less or anything.  Ordinary is authentic and good enough- in short it's a gem in disguise. 🍃
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! 🏡
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
🍃
As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
🍃
A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
🍃
Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! ☀️
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
🍃
I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
🍃
Clip on bed lights save space. 
🍃
A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
🍃
When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
🍃
All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. ☀️🌷🌱
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
☀️
When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
☀️
More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
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