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Home ยป Blog ยป For Whatever It’s Worth

For Whatever It’s Worth

by Sarah Turner Clover Lane, Mothering

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A couple weeks ago I had to go to a quick meeting after school for a first grade activity that involved a family feast.  I was assigned to make a part of a meal and we volunteers all met with the teacher for a quick “go over”.  I sent my older kids home on the bus, just for routine sake, and because they are old enough to be home for a few minutes.  Of course I had my trusty helper Patrick by my side.

One of the moms there had a little baby in a car seat, 2 little ones, and was picking up her first grader.    The baby had been peacefully sleeping, and some of the other kids (like kids do) woke him up to “see the baby”.  Her little toddlers were being little toddlers and she tried to keep track of them and attend the meeting at the same time.  She look frazzled, tired and overwhelmed.

It brought back SO many memories, because that was once me.

I remember the amount of work it took to organize naps and nursing times, to show up for a meeting at school or someone’s house, or to drop off a snack that I was signed up for, or to show up in a classroom.  It hardly ever seemed to go smoothly for me and never as easy as I thought it would be.

It often meant that the entire nap/nursing/snack/dinner schedule was thrown off for the rest of the day, or sometimes even days.  It meant I had to find something decent to wear, and find the time somewhere to put on some makeup and brush my hair.  It meant that I had to make sure each child had a snack in him/her, to prevent breakdowns. It meant I had to look at my watch all morning long.  It meant that I usually ended up sweating buckets carrying a 40 pound car seat, and a toddler who refused to walk, into a stuffy classroom, or drive across town to someone’s house. 

I always felt very obligated to do all I could to help…I didn’t want anyone to say, “Oh she never does anything.”  I felt like my kids would have this huge gap in their childhood if I wasn’t participating regularly at their in-school activities. 

As I added my 4th and 5th child to the family, I let ALL of that go.  I gave myself permission to NOT sign up for things, I gave myself permission to be OK with letting school be school, and not a parent participation contest, I gave myself permission to know myself, and know my babies, and know my family…what I can’t handle, what is too disruptive for our little thriving schedule, what I just don’t want to do…it’s all OK. 

Here’s what I want to tell my younger self, and all of you who may be experiencing the same struggles I did:

1. Whether you have one child, or two, or five, remember that their are times and seasons of your life, where you are “allowed” to step back and just survive day to day without adding more to your plate. 

2. Be confident in having the knowledge that only you and you alone can decide when your family can handle any extra committments. 

3. Learn to say no without guilt.  Offer to do what you can do easily…that means with no stress.

4. Don’t compare yourself with others.  What one person seems to handle with ease (notice the “seems” part), is maybe not what you can handle.  We all have different talents, and we all have different stresses and thresholds.  We also all have different support systems behind the scenes.

5. Be kind to yourself and in spite of what the world tells us all today, do not underestimate how much work it is to be a mom, just by itself, without all the extra things we feel pressured to do today. 

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November 17, 2010 ยท 55 Comments

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Comments

  1. Kate says

    November 17, 2010 at 5:24 am

    This is wonderful advice. I often struggle with what I know I can do and what I think I should do. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.

    Reply
  2. Two Little Tots says

    November 17, 2010 at 6:02 am

    So will put Sarah! You write so beautiful and so honest…I love it!

    Reply
  3. Kelly says

    November 17, 2010 at 6:10 am

    Thanks for your thoughtful stories and advice. I love your devotion to your family and efforts to always do what is best for them and hopefully you. As a mom of seven children, it is always so important to focus on what matters most, first. I think having a set of twins for child number 5 and 6 finally gave me the motivation to just say "No!" We've all had those frazzled moments of motherhood. I had one today with my three year old crying most of the day. (Thankfully, most days are not like today!) Letting go of some of the social pressures on a mother truly is a gift that every mother needs a little reminder of. Thanks for the help!

    Reply
  4. Anonymous says

    November 17, 2010 at 6:14 am

    Amen!

    Reply
  5. Ruth H. says

    November 17, 2010 at 6:30 am

    Such wise words! What good advice, saying "no without guilt" and "be kind to yourself." So often we let guilt get in the way of letting us be kind to ourselves.

    Several years ago, when I was trying to take care of a baby with complicated medical needs along with my three other children, I decided–for reasons I don't completely understand today–that I had to try to keep everything "normal" for the other kids. Despite all the hospitalizations and intense caregiving, I tried to keep up with everything. Fast forward several months later, a short time after our baby had died. It suddenly dawned on me that I was behind with a lot of basic housekeeping, and needed some help. I FINALLY gave myself permission to hire a cleaning service to come in twice a month to help with the deep cleaning. It was wonderful. When I realized how wonderful, I was very upset with myself. Why hadn't I asked for help before, when I truly, truly needed it? Why hadn't I been kind to myself and realistic about what I could handle back when I was dealing with so many difficulties? I still don't know the answers to those questions, but I have learned a lesson: stop and think about what is absolutely necessary. Get help when you need it. Be kind to yourself and the little people you live with.

    Reply
  6. Unknown says

    November 17, 2010 at 10:10 am

    Very valuable and wise advice that I know comes from first-hand experience! These are issues I've been struggling lately in preparation for welcoming our number 3 into the family. I've got to let the guilty feelings go when I opt out of something for the sake of reducing stress on myself and our family – and to just survive day-to-day! Love your writing and honesty, thanks X

    Reply
  7. Pamela says

    November 17, 2010 at 11:16 am

    so true. I always say that my ministry is first to my family and then my children.

    Reply
  8. maren says

    November 17, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Thanks for sharing! I appreciated this today…I'm 5 days away from the due date of #2 and am stressed to the max. I needed to hear your advice that I don't have to be or pretend to be super mom…but just surviving for a while is okay, too.

    Reply
  9. Julie Johnson says

    November 17, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    So very well put. I wish when I was a younger mom that I had ministered more to my family first. Looking back, I'm glad that I was forced into saying no when the "twins" came along. It was a good word to learn 5 years ago. I've added and subtracted things to my plate, and realized that if it's something I really enjoy, I'll make the time for it.

    Reply
  10. luvnmy10 says

    November 17, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Amen!

    Reply
  11. Amy says

    November 17, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    Amen and Hallelujah X 100000!!!!

    Reply
  12. jen says

    November 17, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    If you lived in my neighborhood, you'd know exactly who that supermom was. Not me. And I have to remember these things almost daily.

    Reply
  13. NanaDiana says

    November 17, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Oh I have walked a 100 miles in your shoes. Saying NO was the hardest thing I ever did when I had little kids. I had 4 (the last 3 in a 4 year span) and it was a crazy life. I get it! Hugs- Diana

    Reply
  14. Melissa says

    November 17, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    SO GOOD. I was her too! I think so much of it comes from finding out what a "good mom" does…because at the beginning I thought I had to be everywhere and volunteer for everything because that's what "good moms" do. Now, I'm figuring out that the less I'm involved in, the better off we all are. Just like the quote in your title up top.

    Reply
  15. Johanna Markworth says

    November 17, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    Love that! You put it into words so perfectly! Love your blog!

    Reply
  16. laina kay says

    November 17, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    True, so true. Working on saying "no" more often. Why is it so hard?

    Reply
  17. Anonymous says

    November 17, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Thank you! With the holidays coming up I was getting stressed…trying to figure out how to see out of town family, who are going to be an hour away, driving in traffic with two little ones was really stressing me out. ๐Ÿ™‚ It's just good to be reminded that no is an ok answer. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  18. maryboys says

    November 17, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    well said…this is a wonderful post! i have always had great respect for the power of the word "no" – and have often been criticized for it. fortunately, i've usually been able to shrug that off, confident that i knew best for my family:) thanks for the validation…

    mary

    Reply
  19. chercard says

    November 17, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    Thank you so much…i needed this today as I am feeling guilt for not doing more volunteering with my kids schools/scouts etc…

    I have a 3 yr old and a high maintenance 6 month old and have to let things go!

    Reply
  20. Donna says

    November 17, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Your words are worth a lot! Thanks!

    Reply
  21. Shari says

    November 17, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    I totally agree. When my #5 came along I went through this inward battle of feeling like I SHOULD do more but not knowing HOW I could possibly do more.

    Then #6 came and I had to let it go! I rarely sign up for anything and I have all but stopped volunteering at the school.

    Tis' the season of mothering NOT the season of making the school happy. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  22. BrieAnn says

    November 17, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    I have been struggling with that "perfect" (ha) balance with a two-year-old and five-month-old. Before I had kids, I was always on the go (I got pregnant with our first daughter one month after I graduated from college), but always found some quiet time to reflect on life, its happenings, etc. Now it's a few minutes of alone time or sleep, and I almost always choose sleep. I started reminding myself that I'm in the throes of motherhood with two little dependent people, but reveling in this time will be so very worthwhile. Anytime I start feeling overwhelmed, I think about how much I'll miss the stages my children are at in life. Their sweet little voices, the trudging out of bed still half asleep, a warm little baby lying next to me nursing in the middle of the night, how much they want to be near me. I don't want to miss a thing, even at the sake of some skipped showers. This post was perfect. It's always reassuring that the paths of motherhood are so similar, and that there can be a celebration in each season of it. Thanks.

    Reply
  23. PILCHERS says

    November 17, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    i too had to step back a few years ago and survive! i am just now getting my feet wet again since my youngest will be starting school next year , i am on all kinds of lists now!~

    Reply
  24. Twin City Organizer says

    November 17, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Love this! I have a 1st grader, preschooler and 2 year old. I feel like I am not doing enough with all the volunteering needed/wanted for my 1st grader at school. I am trying to do what I can but recently realized I can't do everything and my little ones at home need me more than ever. So thank you for confirming my thoughts on this. I told my self recently that I can volunteer and help out when my youngest is in school and now is not the time to stress about it.

    Reply
  25. Jenna says

    November 17, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    LOVE that picture and your advice is always so well-timed!

    Reply
  26. Heather says

    November 17, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Great post, thank you so much! I too am in a season of "taking a step back" somewhat and I have to say that this year has been so much less stressful than the previous one.

    Reply
  27. amy jupin says

    November 17, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    i feel like i have to constantly remind myself of this. and this week, in particular, i haven't been very good at any of it. i hope as the holidays approach and get a little crazy, that i remember to read this post whenever i need it. it's a keeper for sure! thank you!

    Reply
  28. Colleen says

    November 17, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    I am learning to do these things more and more. We all try so hard to be the perfect wife and mother and ironically make our family suffer to look acomplished. I was that frazzled lady with 4 kids within 5 years, and I'm slowly turning into a Sarah ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  29. marlowe says

    November 17, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    Funny how the grass always seems greener. I remember being in that stage and looking at moms with teens and thinking "wow, won't that be nice to be surrounded by responsible, reasonable people??" And then in another minute, you are surrounded by teens and they come with their own set of struggles and it's not as easy as kissing mashed fingers used to be.

    Reply
  30. Anne Marie says

    November 17, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for your words.

    Reply
  31. teamaldrich says

    November 17, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Your words are such a gift! Thank you for sharing them so generously with total strangers! Enjoy your day, xoxo

    Reply
  32. Heather @ Life Made Lovely says

    November 17, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    i needed to read this today. with the gap in my kids ages i am feeling frazzled much to much because i'm trying to do much to much. i'm working at say no more and being okay with it, and this post helps me. a lot. thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  33. Eric and Jenny says

    November 17, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Thank you for this, I needed it today.

    I just signed up to help with two of my childrens Thanksgiving feasts at school and am just now realizing I double booked myself. Last night I went to bed in tears over the thought of having to say no to one of them, not because my child would care but because I am afraid of not being the mom that was there, that goes to all of the activities. But with three kids under 5 it's just not doable, unless I want my head to explode.

    Thank you thank you, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this from a mom I so admire.

    Reply
  34. Anonymous says

    November 17, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    I do wish someone had told me this when I was at my busiest time, with three under five. Now with four under 14, it seems so much easier. You are right…it is a season of our life that passes so quickly. Now I find I am more mentally busy than I have ever been though!

    Reply
  35. Kimberly says

    November 17, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    You are so right. Just recently I ran into another mom and she asked where I was during the school's most recent event and I simply said, "busy". I am realizing it's ok to not be the room mom every year and that my kids won't hate me for it. Plus, whenever I volunteer at the school I show up along with at least 10 other moms…usually there are at least 3 too many moms.

    Reply
  36. Unknown says

    November 17, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    Such good advice. As a mom of one, with no plans to have more kids, sometimes I feel like I should be doing more–after all I have "only" one kid. But one is a lot sometimes! I admire all that moms of multiple kids accomplish, and all that the super-involved moms accomplish, yet I also know that I've made and am making different choices–not better, not worse, just different. Thanks for your perspective!

    Reply
  37. TAB says

    November 17, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    This was so incredibly encouraging! I always enjoy your posts.

    Reply
  38. Lindsay says

    November 17, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    This post totally spoke to me! I loved your description of how it was for yourself as a young mom just trying to get everyone out the door, etc
    You are singing my song! I have 4 kids under 5 years (a 6 month old, 2, 4 year old and then my kindergarten).
    I try so hard to simplify my life and your blog is such a inspiration to me and great reminder. The focus right now as a young mom is my kids. You are so right–there is a season for everything. I think that is a great reminder to all moms, no matter what stage they are in.

    Reply
  39. Lori says

    November 17, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    Great reminder. It's easy to take on too much or feel guilty when you just can't do it all. It's nice to know other mom's go through the same feelings. Thanks!

    Reply
  40. Samantha says

    November 17, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    thank you. I have a 3 week old and a 20 month old right now and am just going day to day… my baby is fussy and it.is.hard. My house is messy and it drives me crazy.

    I am reminding myself that THIS TOO SHALL PASS and to ENJOY this moment and everything that is going on right now. The clean house, the ME time at the gym, all that can wait and will wait, and I will survive. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  41. Cath says

    November 17, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    Sage advice dear friend. I never tire of hearing this. You're a consoling, comforting voice to many today. Thanks Sarah.

    Reply
  42. Molly {Eeny Meeny & Moe} says

    November 17, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    Thanks so much for this! I just have one, a 2.5 year old boy… and sometimes I wonder if I'm the ONLY one that has to change out of soaking wet, sweaty clothes after a trip to the grocery store! I feel like even the smallest tasks are sometimes just so much work! Not complaining… it just is refreshing to hear that you lugged your 40 pound kid/car seat combo in a sweat too ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  43. Megan H. says

    November 18, 2010 at 1:17 am

    Very well said! Great reminder!

    Reply
  44. Karen says

    November 18, 2010 at 2:09 am

    Thank you! Why is so hard for us to give ourselves permission to not push ourselves to the brink? I added #4 almost a year ago and this has been my year to take those steps back and to say 'no'.

    Reply
  45. Tanya says

    November 18, 2010 at 4:12 am

    As I just finished typing the minutes from the preschool board meeting, after a day of parenting solo while hubs worked late…then frantically tried to remember if tomorrow is "Dress up as your favourite Superhero" day…
    I NEED to read this.
    Maybe even tatoo it to my arm.
    One of the key things you highlighted that I think is SO true is this…We all DO have different support systems at home, for some of us who live away from all extended family, it's CHALLENGING. I always compare myself to mom's who seem to be accomplishing so much more than I do…
    BUT…I rarely remember they might have help that I don't have.
    Thanks for the common sense ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  46. Rachel says

    November 18, 2010 at 5:28 am

    Wow, Sarah, I didn't realize we'd met! I'm that mom with the 1st grader, two little ones, and the baby in the car seat. Okay, not THAT mom but those are my kids' ages exactly. And, you know what? When school was starting, I read your Vintage Parenting post about not overdoing it with volunteering, etc. I vowed to myself that I would squash my micromanaging, helpful tendencies because with a little baby, this of all years is my year to circle the wagons at home. Last year I actually had a lot of fun volunteering in kindergarten (art docent & math games), and since I live right next to our school, my two other girls just came with me and colored. It was lovely. It helped me feel comfortable about sending my oldest child to this strange place for hours. But. This year with my tiny chubby sidekick, I knew I'd have a lot more on my plate.

    But of course. I couldn't stop my rebellious hand from signing my name under art & math "just" to help. I'll just show up, I promised myself, when I can and when the baby's had her nap and stay only as long as she & the older girls let me. If I can't, then I won't. Simple. But of course, the first day that I show up to "only help" with art, the one other helper is this sweet lady who's nervous to teach the kids because she's afraid her English isn't good enough. She asks me to take over. We're supposed to go live in like 5 minutes, I haven't even seen the lesson, but I snap to it. I'm highly capable, right? I've been to college. Heck, I used to teach college! My instincts rear their ugly heads, and before I know it, I'm the art docent.

    Flash forward an hour later; I have a fussy baby strapped to me in the Bjorn (and she is my GOOD baby!) and I'm whirling around the room helping kids, sweating buckets just like you said. Suddenly I'm roped into this thing because we're the only two helpers, and unlike last year when EVERY lesson was provided, parents have to come up with something every other time. But it has to teach the kids the specific art criteria required by the district. (!!) After many desperate emails on my part, and spending literally HOURS of my precious time, I finally cobble together a second lesson. (Note: I'm still waking up every couple hours at night. NOT a pretty situation.)

    Now I just need to tell the teacher that I can't do it, and probably see the program for my daughter's class fizzle before my eyes. But I'm at the point where I don't really care, because with all the energy I expended on that darned art lesson, I could've created a super amazing project at home with my girls. My daughter seemed sad when I told her I probably won't volunteer in her class any more this year, but when I said, "Anna, I can always come to lunch with you" (which I did once) she replied, "Oh! I love when you eat lunch with me, Mommy." Yeah, probably because I actually sit next to you and talk to you. Instead of running around like my head's cut off.

    Sigh. I suppose I launched into this tale of woe to add my warning voice to yours. No one is going to protect my time, but me. No one. I've always struggled with boundaries, and as I said, if I feel capable it almost kills me to see something not happen, or happen badly. But. I need to just turn my back and walk away. This all spiraled out of control. So much for just popping in here & there this year, huh? It's basically all or nothing, I'm realizing!

    So thanks for your perspective. It was worth a lot to me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  47. Rachel says

    November 18, 2010 at 5:29 am

    Aaaannnnnnddd that was a blog post right there. Sorry!

    Reply
  48. onehm says

    November 18, 2010 at 5:33 am

    THANK YOU. I can never hear this enough. I need constant reminders to stop feeling guilty and remember that this is my season to raise my little family as best I can.

    Reply
  49. Anonymous says

    November 18, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    Thanks. I am that tired, crazed four young kids Mama who's yearning for time to slow down. I appreciate your words.

    Reply
  50. S says

    November 18, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    keep giving this message – its one all of us moms need to hear. I have a MUCH easier time saying no – and I find the more I say no, the easier it is because a) I don't get asked as much and b) the little web threads start to unravel because I'm not surrounded by the yes mom's so I don't feel that competition. Its ok to be inwardly family focused for a period of time! I also think mom's should apply this to activities for their kids, not just volunteering. I can't tell you how much flak I got for not enrolling my youngest in all the "opportunities" around – but honestly pre k soccer was a nightmare with my other kids – I was doing it to give them an opportunity that they HATED – it was a complete nightmare. So, after my 3rd child I wised up – we enrolled in NOTHING (not even prek until he turned 4 and that was just by sheer luck) – we went to about 2 library storytimes even. saying no keeps things simple. If you want interaction, go the park, invite a friend over. Don't get caught up in all the mommy hype – its truly not worth it.

    Reply
  51. Your Southern Peach says

    November 19, 2010 at 4:03 am

    Thanks for this beautiful reminder! I love your blog and your lovely sentiments.

    Reply
  52. Carrie says

    November 20, 2010 at 11:25 am

    You know, I have struggled so much with this lately. And I'm learning to say no, we can't. Or I can't. I take advantage of the system where I can…sneaking a Bible study in while they're in Awanas instead of serving as a teacher. Not serving as a Sunday School teacher this year. Taking an hour off work to go and do what I want/need to do.

    And this little bit of selfish planning has found me a few things: more peace, more time with my boys, being able to say YES to basketball this year, sneaking off for date day with my husband. It's hard to say no when there are the "perfect parents" out there…hiding the fact that they're about to lose their minds too!

    Reply
  53. kristi says

    November 20, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    oh my goodness, thank you, thank you, thank you. after my night last night, i really needed to read something like that. i have a 14 year old daughter, a 4 year old daughter and a 2 1/2 year old son. i feel that if i don't do all the things with my older daughter at school ( like i did before the little ones came along) that i am somehow doing her a disservice. last night i headed up to the school at 8pm for a thing they had during half time at a basketball game. my husband is out of town and we have no family where we live. i knew i shouldn't have gone. overtired little ones and all. it was horrible. i was the completely frazzled mom trying to chase the two year old around and keep the 4 year old happy and trying to give my attention to the 14 year old. it wasn't working. anyway, i've never commented here before and now i know i'm just venting! sorry. but this just hit home and i wanted to say thanks!

    Reply
  54. Amy Maze says

    November 21, 2010 at 2:31 am

    i love this post and linked to it on my blog. hope you don't mind. you always give me something to think about…good reminders and instead of re-writing my own version i just send people over to you to read it!

    Reply
  55. April Perry says

    November 22, 2010 at 9:58 am

    I love the specific takeaways you included there, Sarah! Every new mom needs to read this! (We'll get it up on The Power of Moms ASAP.) You're wonderful!

    Reply

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When our first baby was placed in my arms I knew there was no place I wanted to be other than home with him every day. Twenty five years, and five more babies later, (six children, now ages 26-8), I still feel the same. I blog here about motherhood, how to make a house a home, easy recipes, and simple living. You can read more about me here.

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Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular. Just an o Nothing pretty, flashy, or spectacular.  Just an ordinary Monday morning breakfast counter after the kids leave for school.  Because ordinary gets the short hand in our culture but really it's extra special. 
It's a symbol of unselfishness, contentment, prudence and gratitude.  There is a certain peace about the ordinary.  It's the opposite of temporary-it holds the joy of contentment and gratitude and prudence all in one hand.  It's lends itself toward peace, and a settling in, not a constant search for more or less or anything.  Ordinary is authentic and good enough- in short it's a gem in disguise. ๐Ÿƒ
I love my home and I hope you do also. With all t I love my home and I hope you do also.  With all the imperfections and maintenance it requires, when I pull up and walk in I want to stay, to relax, to feel safe, for daily life to be easy, and to care for "home". I want simplicity, ease, convenience.  To me when my home is simple, without being filled to the brim of things that just take up space I love it best.  I hope if you've participated fully or even partially as time allowed in 40 Bags in 40 Days you've found that joy and pride in your home.  I plan to share more little challenges and tips as the year proceeds to trouble shoot areas and keep maintenance effortless and the house love flowing.  Daily life in our homes should bring us joy and ease while we care for our families, we should be thoughtful stewards of our money and of our time and simple living is the answer to that. 
Thank you for participating! ๐Ÿก
I think this is one of the best things about the 4 I think this is one of the best things about the 40 Bag decluttering process.  When I know what I have and have removed all that I don't, it cultivates more discretion and caution about what I bring back in.  I think there is also some realization of how much money is wasted on fads, or thoughtless purchases.  It's quite eye-opening.  I've become so much more careful, and find we all take better care of things, as do my children.
The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days! I've tackle The final week of 40 Bags in 40 Days!  I've tackled all the areas of my home with exception of my oldest daughter's room (not the photo)- which she is excited to work on this week.
The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean an The simpler the room, the easier it is to clean and straighten up.  And then the more enjoyable it is to actually sit in that room.  It's not a hard equation, all it takes is ruthless purging-and not just little things but larger items also.  Functional furniture is the key and very few decorative pieces especially when children are in the home, makes life so much easier. 
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As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 As we head into the last week of the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge I'm hearing from so many of you what a difference it has made in your appreciation of your homes, a certain contentment, and at the same time a thrill of looking in on the organized kitchen, closet and living space.  I agree!  I love purging, cleaning and organizing a space and then going back later that day just to get that wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It makes such a difference! 
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A lighter, fresher, calmer home is the result of de-cluttering.  I even had a participant who had been planning on listing her home, start 40 Days just to get her house ready to sell, and then was so ruthless in the process and also thrilled by the results that they decided to stay put in what seemed like a new home to them.  What a savings of time, money and energy. 
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Next week I will be talking maintenance and answer all questions! โ˜€๏ธ
Tips For Shared Kids Rooms- This bedroom has seen Tips For Shared Kids Rooms-
This bedroom has seen every configuration possible.  With kids spread out 18 years apart, I've had to be creative over the years-which I think is the key to sharing rooms.  It is all possible-I consider it a rare luxury and privilege to not have to share a room although I know that is not the norm today. 
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I like to create a simple look with white furniture (this ends up making room transitions easier also when moving someone out and someone else in.) I also like to match bedspreads for a cohesive look. 
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Clip on bed lights save space. 
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A simple shared book shelf can hold a child's special books and knick knacks and if necessary can be assigned per shelf.
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When my kids were younger I had my dad build me a large wooden roll out box for under each bed.  This held each child's toys. 
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All clothes are kept in a closet instead of dressers to save space.
I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags I feel like I bailed on everyone following 40 Bags progress and tips.  My excuse is the stomach flu ravaging us all here in the last week with me being the last to fall and the slowest to recover.  On top of that the weekend before I tried to roller blade (don't even ask how many steps I made it) and majorly bit it.  Thankfully I think I just sprained my arm. So I've been using one arm for nursing sick children back to health, and doing whatever cleaning and cooking and straightening I can do.  Alas, last week was a wash.  We have two weeks to go.  I'd like to continue and end on a high note.  How about you?  Even a little de-cluttering counts! Spring is in the air and I can't wait to throw open my windows and let fresh clean air circulate through my fresh clean orderly home. โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฑ
Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to th Especially where kids are concerned- we tend to think that the more things they have the happier and more occupied and loved they will feel.  Nothing can replace human interaction and I've found that too many toys has the reverse affect.  They cause overwhelm-just like us - we'd rather sit in an orderly space than one filled with too many things to do and too much stuff.
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When it comes to kids closets here are some tips-
1. Hand me downs don't all have to be received.  Or received at all.  Be choosy and keep just what they will use and need.
2. When children are presented with too many choices, tension and acrimony can exist.  Being able to open a closet with a reasonable amount of outfits can create more peace.
3. Cultivating independence in care of clothes is easier when there is less and the space is simplified and organized. 
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More tips coming on the blog this week.  I am moving my blog platform so I can't make any promises - it's under construction and that's exciting!
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