Patrick sends quivers down my spine at least once a day. My heart drops into my stomach at other times and I feel all the blood drain from my head. As I lay in bed trying to sleep each night, I have to physically shake my head back and forth just to get the “what if” thoughts out of my head. I must refuse to go there.
Patrick is SO active. I know he’s normal, he’s my 4th boy! But am I? I’m in a constant state of anxiety. Really. The pool…no matter whose it is…is just torture for us. The front yard, walks on the sidewalk, the baseball park….he is attracted to the ONE thing that could hurt him….he’ll find the parking lots, loves walking in the street, can’t choose the quiet strolls, but fights to walk along the busy sidewalks with the cars whizzing by. No back yard for him…if the door opens in front he makes a mad dash across the room to push his way out. He climbs, he runs, he disappears in seconds. I swear he possess’s special invisible powers…he’s never where you thought he was 1/2 second ago. He’ll disappear before your very eyes. I carry on no conversations in public places. (It’s a lonely life for me right now!) I check locks twice, three times. I keep my eyes glued to his backside. I trust no one with this little guy…I’m spend more time with him than anyone and only I know all his tricks of the trade.
My life right now is fully dedicated every single waking hour to makings sure no harm comes his way.