The other day I found myself in the hardware aisle, purchasing, once again, these:
It’s not the first time, but it may be the last.
I’ve been waiting to throw open the windows and the doors and let the fresh air come in.
But not so fast.
I’ve got an escape artist in the house, one who has absolutely no regard for his life or the heart or mind of his mother.
He’s a boy under the age of 3. Which means he waits, stealthily, like a caged animal, for the perfect moment to make a mad dash for the door, left ajar by an unassuming, or just negligent, sibling (or parent???).
Ha! When we bought this house from a couple with twin toddlers, those locks were one EVERY SINGLE DOOR in the house. We were childless and clueless and VERY annoyed – we did lots of spackling and painting to cover up the annoying holes left by the locks. We laughed about it and wondered why someone would put locks all over their house like that. Guess what we have now, six years later – on many of the doors in our house? Yes, those very same hooks.
I used to have a house with a pool, so I went and bought those locks that slide in the groove and has a chain on it. You see them on TV a lot, the people have to close the door to move the chain off the latch. I placed it as high as my fingertips, and I never had any issues with the kids opening the doors. They couldn’t reach it even if they stood on a stool.
I’m terrified of the kids getting out of my sight. I wish I could put a gate at the end of my driveway.
I love the way you tell this story….very dramatic with a touch of comedy. I hear you!!
This is my Caleb’s new thing…escaping. He knows how to unlock the screen and out he goes. Scary. Last year when we were in Florida he got out the front door of the condo (it had those push down handles and he must have watched us do it). Luckily I caught him just in time because we were on the fourth floor right next to cement stairs. That scared me to death!
I can completely relate, William is my stealthy-silent one who defeated every lock and deterrent at 2. If I couldn’t see him/hear him, I went looking for him! Now that he’s bigger, he’s the one likely to wander off alone b/c he’s so independent. Terrifying.
Oh my god, that would scare the crap out of me! Thank goodness you don’t have a pool! I can’t remember that any of mine have escaped yet. That still scares me, though. I usually keep all the doors deadbolted.
Oh man, what scary stories about Andrew. I was having panic attcks just reading them!! My boys never did that to me, but I can DEFINITELY see Maggie trying it – she’s the most troublesome!
Only someone foolish would think, “that will never or has never happened to me. Your post was equal parts scary and funny. You think they’re stealth and sneaky when they’re little, but, when they’re teenagers… oy! I consider it a feather in my cap that my kids are grown and still breathing. 🙂
SHUT UP!!!!!! I am off to buy a latch like that TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you seen the post where my 2 year old pushed the chair up to the front door to unlatch the chain? Yeah, well, he did that yesterday while I was upstairs BLOGGING…and I found him outside on his big brothers skateboard!!!!!!!!!!!!! NICE.
Oh, my gosh, I relate to this. But my escape artist is a girl! My first, my boy, was mellow. He never touched a doorknob, rooted in the cabinets, or messed with the TV. I never childproofed with him.
But my second! I can’t believe I don’t have gray hair. Luckily she is now over four and things have been pretty quiet for about a year now. One of my worst moments was when I had to take a shower one day and was alone with her. I knew I was taking my chances. I put on a movie, and rushed through my shower as fast as I could. I got out, ran down the hallway to check on her, and there she was, sitting on the kitchen counter. She’d taken the dog food and mixed it in the dog’s water. Then she put the mush in the toaster and was now stirring it with a butter knife. In the background, the entire living room was yellow. It was covered in cornbread mix. The girl could make a huge mess in record time.
That day, I cried. I felt I couldn’t keep her safe and it was so frustrating. Luckily they eventually grow out of that. But it’s so scary at the time.
Oh I understand having a 5 year old little boy and one that is 8 months old coming up right behind him. Josiah our oldest is super quite and very sneaky. He has given me several hair raising scares that caused me to run out of the house in whatever I was wearing to hunt him down. Little boys are a blast and even though it is frustrating and can be scary these are great memories that will be retold to them someday. More than likely after they get married and have a 2 year old running out of the house.
I just told my MIL and my two SILs last weekend that I don’t remember my son ever having a fever. Less than 8 hours later, he woke up crying, with a fever. I swear, I wasn’t trying to brag. What’s to brag about, really? But I think my proclamation must have confused the God of Parental Gloating and he dished some pie out, anyway. Or maybe he was bored, because all of the other mommies already know better than to do this sort of thing…
Oh I can’t believe you would do such a thing…hehehe. Just this week, my little “darling” managed to sneak out to the back yard, step in dog poop and walk right back in getting it all over the CARPET in the family room. Let’s not even discuss how long it took me to clean up that mess. Thanks God we own a carpet cleaner. Happy Locking!
Talk about hitting the nail on the head, girl, I so know what you’re talking about. We live on a busy street and my little just-turned-3 dude gives me a panic attack every other day. What is it about boys? I am religious about locks on my doors and keeping that garage door shut !!! Will we ever sleep peacefully again?
PS You’re really funny
Well… that was a terrifying, eye-opening post! My twin boys are almost 2. They are very short (premies) so they can’t reach doorknobs YET… but they are learning to climb to reach what they want. They gang up on me and climb on top of each other if there is nothing else around. …How am I ever going to get anything done again??
The only door our almost 3 year old can open is the door leading into the garage. But, my dear hubby leaves the garage up even after I have nagged him about it. I told him she could go in the garage anytime and be out in the street. The 5 year old knows not to open the doors without asking.
Oh wow, this brought back memories of my twins many attempts to escape. One time, they pushed the screen out of our very tall first floor window and then ran up the street(up the middle .
I had to run up the street after them….in my limited coverage pajamas. Fun times!
Mmmm Hmmm… I hear ya! When my brother was 2, he used to escape and run for the busy street. After one close call, my mom got a leash (no kidding, a leash), and clipped it to the clothsline. He would run as fast as he could from one end to the other, and never run out of energy. At last we know why they make those tiny little bib overalls – so you can slip a leash handle over the back, where the escape artist can’t possibly get to it. But it’s still only a matter of time till he figures out how to undo the clips or snaps on the front of the overalls…
It just happens. 🙂
My husband was out of the country last week. I thought my 3-year-old was snug in his bed taking a nap. I WAS soaking in the tub and heard him downstairs talking. He had answered my cell phone (at least twice) and informed my husband and mother-in-law!!!!!(sorry) that I wasn’t home.
Yeah, it just happens!