Memories

I have tried to put my thumb on what it is that makes me miss those times when my kids were all young so much. It was the “control” factor…the ability to keep the outside world OUT and my own family in a sweet little cocoon. Things were so much less complicated. My children were MINE and no one else’s…I need not share them with school, friends, sports, etc… I had complete control over where they went, what they ate, when they went to bed. I miss those times so much, but remind myself often that at the age my older children are, my role as a parent has changed, and not so much in that “fun” way, but the really important way. Teaching them to make their OWN decisions about life, letting go of the control…that’s the hard part but really the most essential obligation I have to these kids. I have entered into the “down and dirty” part of parenting. And at the same time, trying to savor the “sweet” part with the little ones. Is that maybe why I feel constantly weary in my brain and body?