tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post8633665212738549453..comments2024-03-25T09:47:40.771-04:00Comments on Clover Lane: Getting Baby To Sleep-Thoughts and Tips and ResourcesSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14912466557223829314noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-42158169831558149022016-07-05T21:14:47.457-04:002016-07-05T21:14:47.457-04:00I love your words, as always, and you have such a ...I love your words, as always, and you have such a way of putting things that is not degrading to any mother, all while still stating your opinion strongly--that is quite a gift! I am on a waiting list for the Catholic parenting book and am looking forward to reading part 2 of this series! Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to write:)<br />Jennifer<br /><a href="http://www.bebewellness.com/" rel="nofollow">BebeWellness</a><br />Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07835625781510016223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-9204625167856506802015-10-18T22:35:43.080-04:002015-10-18T22:35:43.080-04:00Thank you for writing this. I remembered reading i...Thank you for writing this. I remembered reading it before I had my twins and just sought it out (I love google) to re-read again. Exactly what I needed to hear tonight. Kathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15259807380939556740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-11794167175404696712014-03-14T02:02:49.164-04:002014-03-14T02:02:49.164-04:00I let my first baby cio at 5.5 months bc I was del...I let my first baby cio at 5.5 months bc I was delusional with lack of sleep and "everyone" told me this is what had to be done. NIghtmare. On my list of motherhood regrets as well. I cringe thinking about it almost 13 years later. Obviously I did not do cio it out with my next 4 children. 2 babies were naturally mellow and good sleepers, and the other 3 were basically non sleepers. I've never quite recovered from the sleep deprivation--and I, too, read every single sleep book on the planet--but nothing ever felt right except to soothe crying babies. I may be tired, wrinkly and mildly nuts from sleep deprivation, but I don't have the guilt that went along with those so called "expert" sleep methods.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04772287040940187993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-5080542519273425552014-03-10T16:04:57.480-04:002014-03-10T16:04:57.480-04:00Thanks for sharing. Though not always popular I ag...Thanks for sharing. Though not always popular I agree with you whole heartedly. My experience mimics yours. I was so exhausted with my twins the book, Babywise, was going to be my answer. After failing miserably with one twin and working perfectly with the other twin I determined that all babies may not be the same. I pitched Babywise in the garbage lest some other poor soul get their hands on that guilt inducing book and did what felt right for me. It was a long year for me and my hard to sleep twin but we made it through and he did eventually learn to sleep through the night and turned out just fine. I'm expecting my 6th baby now and am glad to say I'm a little bit wiser about how this works today. I try to pass that message of doing what works for you and your family along to mothers that I meet. There is not a one size fits all method though there are tips and tricks that can help as your figure out your baby. Thanks for speaking out! tessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11654374235001854237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-84465591896570526772014-03-10T14:40:30.672-04:002014-03-10T14:40:30.672-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.The Snodgrass Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04419584685837512754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-19768764741067812842014-03-10T11:13:53.559-04:002014-03-10T11:13:53.559-04:00I have to tell you that I love your blog and am gr...I have to tell you that I love your blog and am grateful that you are such a shining light of how meaningful and wonderful it can be to be a mother. However, I feel like this post was just as biased a post as the so called experts who propagate sleep training. I believe that it is whatever works best for the mother, the child and the family. If sleep training works for you and your family that does NOT make you a bad mother/parent and/or selfish. When we start claiming there are only certain ways to do something as a parent, that's what makes me wary. Madsen Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07854125615482862825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-79284126680862042892014-03-08T21:29:39.207-05:002014-03-08T21:29:39.207-05:00Very helpful Sarah! I still can't get my 11 m...Very helpful Sarah! I still can't get my 11 months old to take more than cat naps so better start trying out something new. Claudia C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03935733861133928707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-68226409920005607742014-03-07T20:46:21.436-05:002014-03-07T20:46:21.436-05:00Yay, Sarah! Awesome advice, as always. I would j...Yay, Sarah! Awesome advice, as always. I would just like to make a plug for how important it is to consider baby's physical comfort and health status ahead of parental sleep and "routines". My first baby was a contented sleeper for the first few months and then began waking anywhere from 5-15 times per night. I was living overseas, and as a first time mom tried everything to get her back to what had been her norm. A doctor I took her to mentioned her ears were "a bit red" but said no antibiotics were needed. She was about 18 months old when we came back to the US and at our first visit with our doctor she was diagnosed with a HORRIBLE ear infection. After 48 hours on anitbiotics she began sleeping through the night. I soon learned that this little one showed none of the signs considered typical for ear infections....except she'd stop sleeping comfortably. From then on, I knew we were dealing with an ear infection when she woke up more than once in the night. Imagine how grateful I was that I hadn't bought into the cry it out philosophy during our months overseas--she may have had undiagnosed ear infections the whole time, but at least her mama was there trying to soothe and comfort her! That realization right there made me completely ignore the cry it out advice I got with my others. So by the time baby #3 came along who never slept more than an hour at a time....I was prepared for the exhaustion, knowing it would only last for a year or so. Interestingly enough, baby #3 had a rare heart defect that wasn't diagnosed until she was 9 months old. As it turns out, letting her cry for a long period of time would have been so detrimental to her fragile physical state! I am unbelievably thankful that I followed my instincts to nurture, hold, and soothe, or we could have had a terrifying and potentially fatal situation on our hands! That's definitely an extreme example, but it certainly illustrates the need to proceed with caution when you choose to let a baby cry for long periods of time. Babies are good communicators, and they usually have a reason for crying!Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01809791820190683720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-71898056718398197872014-03-07T17:56:25.128-05:002014-03-07T17:56:25.128-05:00Thank you so much for this post. I have tears run...Thank you so much for this post. I have tears running down my face, it is exactally what I needed to read! I've got an 8 month old precious boy and I'm all over the board with his sleeping. He is in the bed with us again and I'm ok with it and I feel like it is best. When I tell my friends that they look at me like I've got 5 heads. I've tried the Ferber method and my husband didn't feel good about it. Baby did good for about 3 weeks and then he decided that he needed to be with us. While the sleep training was going good, I was so proud of him but when he would cry my mama heart and stomach would turn to mush. It was terrible. I am so mad that I didn't trust my gut or my husband's only to try to listen to friends. In reality deep in my heart I know that him being with us is the season of life we are in and he needs us. I've created some bad habits with him being sick over the past few weeks and wanting to nurse ALL night long while he sleeps on or beside me but it won't be like this forever so I am trying to enjoy it while he wants to be with us. Thank you for taking the time to write this post!!vanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02783978174839995792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-47650171811788632422014-03-07T15:54:00.675-05:002014-03-07T15:54:00.675-05:00I'm with you. I never "sleep trained"...I'm with you. I never "sleep trained" according to any method, I was just mindful not to allow habits develop that made my babies dependent on me for their ability to sleep. When my 4th was born, my oldest was 3 years old. I would have been nursing and sleeping with 4 kids! I put them to bed drowsy and they all turned out just fine. My kids never experienced urgent distress and I am indeed fully bonded with all of them. Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12945264080694886265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-34453723352071262142014-03-07T13:59:27.997-05:002014-03-07T13:59:27.997-05:00I agree with this! It makes me sad that the above...I agree with this! It makes me sad that the above post on hand says "do what's best for you" and then dismisses (summarily!) some of the very methods that might very well work for someone else! I had four amazing babies who were sleep trained using the Babywise method. No, I don't agree with everything in it nor did it matter one smidge to me that Dr Ezzo was excommunicated from his church. Not sure how or why that SHOULD matter. I used the parts that worked for us and skipped the rest. I had four babies that slept 12 hours a night by 12 weeks of age. It definitely worked for us. And my children, now 21, 18, 16, 14, are happy, healthy and well-adjusted young people who don't seem any worse for the wear. I don't happen to agree with co-sleeping and on-demand feeding, both things that work for others. But if it works for you, then go for it! Not sure why it has to be so adversarial. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02324842202010239188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-52154637686619715572014-03-07T09:27:11.005-05:002014-03-07T09:27:11.005-05:00Oh thank you so so so much for this post. I am sti...Oh thank you so so so much for this post. I am still breast feeding my 2 year old and, until last week, we co-slept. He still falls asleep on the breast. He sleeps through the night now, although he didn't used to AT ALL! But it's part of motherhood and being a parent ... it doesn't stop at bedtime, they still need us. I could never do the cry it out/controlled crying method and I hate it when I'm asked when I'm going to do that with my son. <br />I love reading your articles like this because it makes me feel like I am not alone in how I parent :) R a c h e l https://www.blogger.com/profile/03675313499761506812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-25551588887041883942014-03-07T08:25:46.023-05:002014-03-07T08:25:46.023-05:00Thank you! I wish I had read this when I had my fi...Thank you! I wish I had read this when I had my first! I quickly learned to listen to my gut with the rest but it was so hard not to be convinced of "expert ways" when I had just one and plenty of time to read! Maybe one of the blessings of added children...have to start relying a little more on prayer and the power inside us since no book time. MaurLohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13885101727734888408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-8241647619072325302014-03-07T06:08:30.933-05:002014-03-07T06:08:30.933-05:00Both babies were breast fed until a year old which...Both babies were breast fed until a year old which I am truly thankful for. All in all this is a tricky and personal business. Your words on being weary of experts are very true. We have been given judgement and instincts for a reason. Love all your thoughts on this subject and wish you great sleep :) The Szeles Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16466661721809675668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-88065290484699108092014-03-07T06:04:54.276-05:002014-03-07T06:04:54.276-05:00I always love your words. I love your style and yo...I always love your words. I love your style and your parenting intuition. I am having baby number three ( within three years!) and am so happy my other two sleep so well. My first born was put on a relaxed routine and it resulted in him sleeping very well. My second born was a screamer from the get go and I was dying. Again with the same relaxed approach he managed to sleep well during the day but in the end for night I let him cry it out after I was completely exhausted. After three nights he has never woken since, now almost 19 months. This was how I felt after praying and considering what I should do. My husband works out of town and I'm usually a single parent. I had to do what I could in order to meet this baby's needs, and that meant me being well rested. I know other mothers who have three and four year old terrible sleepers because of rocking/lying down approach and had felt they couldn't have more children because they were so sleep deprived. The Szeles Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16466661721809675668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-31038639636184389702014-03-07T00:05:14.676-05:002014-03-07T00:05:14.676-05:00Amen. Xoxo thanks for taking the time to write. Mo...Amen. Xoxo thanks for taking the time to write. Mother of two breastfed babies, one of which is almost 2 and still hasn't slept through the night, but who can complain when you get the extra snuggle time... And a 5, who did that too, and now sleeps 13 hours at night, fitfully and relaxed, and deals with any interruption to sleep routine like a rockstar. Pls. Sleep when the baby sleeps, drink when the baby drinks (and just because I have much lower standards for myself) clean when the baby cleans, which I'm lucky she likes a lot, daily, together.<br />Irenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07001152635920224493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-1663467137160878212014-03-06T23:54:49.895-05:002014-03-06T23:54:49.895-05:00I love your blog but I disagree with CIO being hor...I love your blog but I disagree with CIO being horrible and experts being ignorant. CIO worked for us. It WAS difficult and so tough to work through, but it DID work after just a few nights for us and my children are so much happier/rested because of that. Mommy instincts are VERY valuable but they are not the only important factor. I relied on advice from medical experts and books written by legit experts and feel confident that even though it was difficult to listen to CIO, it was a wise decision. I've learned there are lots of things I have to do as a parent (let them ride bikes without training wheels, for one!) that go against all my mommy instincts but are valuable growing pains and result in happier kiddos and a happier family.Sarah Phttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11034629992677159995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-58314887908157589092014-03-06T23:10:40.492-05:002014-03-06T23:10:40.492-05:00thank you!
thank you!<br />Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15696231021422009947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-33870965448618146802014-03-06T16:29:49.718-05:002014-03-06T16:29:49.718-05:00Thank you so much for your advice! My last little ...Thank you so much for your advice! My last little one has been my hardest as far as sleep goes, so I love reading advice like this to help me with future kids. Unfortunately, I let him cry it out a lot and I so regret it. Next time we have a baby I am going to do things differently. I love your blog and how positive you are about mothering, family, and religion. Thanks for your great example! Kent and Lierenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17258445257207747530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-90111621994476539602014-03-06T13:49:45.667-05:002014-03-06T13:49:45.667-05:00Spot on! Spot on! Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00539535944862788478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-31315677411849160392014-03-06T13:45:33.424-05:002014-03-06T13:45:33.424-05:00Excellent advice, Sarah. I am a mom of 7 (2 are i...Excellent advice, Sarah. I am a mom of 7 (2 are in college now), and I had the same experience and conclusion as you with letting babies cry, etc. I do wish there were blogs like yours back when I was a new mom.FLmom7https://www.blogger.com/profile/00149946237721680495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-43490759302565183152014-03-06T11:42:37.076-05:002014-03-06T11:42:37.076-05:00I love this. And my 16 month old is still nursing ...I love this. And my 16 month old is still nursing at night. I think it's good for both of us. I tried letting rory cry it out and it was the worst. I think she was just sensitive- still is- and needed extra cuddles. Ella A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02129493208998004642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-189220968923634242014-03-06T11:28:04.860-05:002014-03-06T11:28:04.860-05:00Ahh, Thank you for posting this. I needed to know ...Ahh, Thank you for posting this. I needed to know I was not the only one feeling this way. Letting an infant cry it out seems wrong and cold to me. I love spending those quiet nights with my children and giving them the love they need.Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15174893426290846762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-3406138382175435302014-03-06T11:16:40.950-05:002014-03-06T11:16:40.950-05:00I remember those days....and nights. I have 4 chi...I remember those days....and nights. I have 4 children and as much as I loved nursing and cuddling them in the rocking chair in their room (I had twin girls first)....I would try to lay them down while they were still awake. And I always had either a special blanket or with my one daughter it was a beanie toy that they got at bedtime. I would sometimes sit in their room for awhile and just watch them drift off. If they would cry, I would pick them up and burp or cuddle them....then lay them down again and pat their back for a bit. I held and cuddled my babies a lot, but tried not to be the one they associated with "falling asleep". I wanted them to be able to drift off without depending on me. <br /><br />When I would nurse them in the night, I had a heating pad that I would lay in their crib when I took them out (on low) and then take it out again before I laid them back down. From my warm arms to a warm crib was an easier transition. <br /><br />Those are still my favorite memories of my girls....our nights of quiet togetherness while the rest of the world slept. Even when they started sleeping through the night, I would still get up to check on them and make sure they were snug and warm. Maybe that was more for me than for them haha. Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03995188190212647355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-35775686603026827622014-03-06T10:10:59.358-05:002014-03-06T10:10:59.358-05:00Love to read your perspective. Thank youLove to read your perspective. Thank youDranrabhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05112273813629435933noreply@blogger.com