tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post7795561230370267871..comments2024-03-28T17:53:09.192-04:00Comments on Clover Lane: The Collapse of Parenting-Some of My HighlightsSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14912466557223829314noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-21595203525432359242016-09-19T12:47:19.209-04:002016-09-19T12:47:19.209-04:00Thanks for this. I just purchased the book. I have...Thanks for this. I just purchased the book. I have an 8-month old - my first - but I've been reading your blog long before I had her and I always said that I would check your blog for parenting advice once I had my own. Thanks again.Ms.JayQuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08973570223617823963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-84714660953532318562016-09-14T01:05:30.730-04:002016-09-14T01:05:30.730-04:00Just ordered the book. Catching up on your blog a...Just ordered the book. Catching up on your blog and every time I'm reminding how much I love it. You are an inspiration to me. valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02168837814994229269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-25627895359809507182016-08-26T09:48:42.850-04:002016-08-26T09:48:42.850-04:00Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this book S...Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this book Sarah! I have never read it, but I will look for it now on Amazon. You wrote a very powerful review and I agree with all the points both you and the author made. I love it that the scripture "train up a child" is the basis for this book, and a truth from the Word that research cannot deny. That is awesome! Marilyn @ MountainTopSpicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00600290895531484438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-40283780280891459612016-08-04T16:39:17.229-04:002016-08-04T16:39:17.229-04:00Sarah, Thank you for this comment and for the orig...Sarah, Thank you for this comment and for the original question. My 8 year old son and 5 year old daughter have been fighting this year, and, to me, that is very upsetting. This summer has been very trying, but I think things are getting better. It is nice to hear that this is normal (but also unacceptable to another parent), and I appreciate the practical advice. Thank you for all of your wonderful blog posts. Your blog has had so many parenting gems throughout the years. Jacelynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13396679252513469962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-14435122525803708202016-08-04T12:33:18.859-04:002016-08-04T12:33:18.859-04:00Thank you for summarizing! This book is on my to-r...Thank you for summarizing! This book is on my to-read list but it'll be forever and a day for me to get to it. Miss Jill and Mister Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05621412327025918901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-71567300128121419572016-08-02T12:03:53.526-04:002016-08-02T12:03:53.526-04:00Yes they fight argue bicker tease get impatient wi...Yes they fight argue bicker tease get impatient with each other and sometimes but rarely physical. I am sensitive to it like you are and try to intercede so it doesn't escalate. Lay down the law on things you won't tolerate-saying "shut up", or "I hate you"-there is just a "no way we don't say that" and maybe a punishment like sitting on chairs if they do until they just learn it's a "no way" thing. I really hard to learn that boys can get mad and even physical and then be done with the whole thing and no hard feelings in like two minutes, and I would be so bothered by it for a day. But I hate anything that escalates to physical so I definitely have laid down the law about that and if it ever happens I am angry and they know it. <br />Something that has made a huge difference when there seems to be a divide between any two siblings is having a quiet moment alone and letting them each know separately how the other sibling feels about them and what their role is, even if you have to embellish a little. "You are his older brother and he learns everything from you-he looks to you for guidance and advice and will always-you have to remember he is learning to get along with others and share from you, and will need to know that when he goes to school. He loves you, he told me the other day that he wishes he could be as good a Lego inventor as you are.... You are such a good playmate to him but if things ever get so hard that you get really mad and can't work it out please come and get me." etc etc etc. It helps them put hard feelings aside I think and makes them feel like they have a responsibility to get along. I think this is good to do always here and there throughout each year.<br />Another thing-Jeff and I tell stories of getting along or not getting along with siblings when they were kids-usually funny things, but I also tell how something made me feel-when I was mean to my little sister, how I still remember it and how awful it made me feel too, or how it felt to be teased repeatedly about this or that, and also how forgiveness comes into play and being sensitive to others.<br />But all that aside, it's August and we are all a little tired and CLOSE, so there is nothing wrong with "cut it out, don't say that ever in my house, go to your rooms or sit in the chair, that's enough I've had it" either. :) Save the little wordy lessons for a special one-on-one ice cream trip maybe.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14912466557223829314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-36217364069014414052016-08-01T08:05:31.020-04:002016-08-01T08:05:31.020-04:00Sarah, do your kids fight? Do they ever say I hate...Sarah, do your kids fight? Do they ever say I hate you to eachother and are physical ... my boys who are 6 and 4 have started this. How on earth do i handle this its so heartbreaking. Your blog and everything you post uplifts me and helps me train my children :) The Szeles Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16466661721809675668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-9678860084432071932016-07-29T20:25:50.090-04:002016-07-29T20:25:50.090-04:00THANK YOU for this excellent summary! THANK YOU for this excellent summary! educarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15110440648443954798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-47887099889265556672016-07-29T03:23:54.909-04:002016-07-29T03:23:54.909-04:00I can't tell you how much I enjoy your blog. P...I can't tell you how much I enjoy your blog. Posts like this will always keep me coming back! And I also love that you don't post like crazy and are realistic about your time with your family vs time on your blog. Just another reason I love your blog. <br /><br />Please don't ever stop writing here. I can't even tell you how much some of your posts have been so influential to my parenting philosophies. Kristynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00797557334475664419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-70357216008076722652016-07-28T14:14:37.452-04:002016-07-28T14:14:37.452-04:00OMG THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! This is all so so so goo...OMG THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! This is all so so so good, thank you for taking the time to write this. What a great book. I will save and read this over and over!jessica kiehnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13081669764988976677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-7408734429731625162016-07-27T14:36:46.142-04:002016-07-27T14:36:46.142-04:00I decided to read this book after reading your ear...I decided to read this book after reading your earlier post about it. Loved it!!! Thanks for the recommendation!Summerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03975267306851026246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-68541205482808978812016-07-27T00:40:00.444-04:002016-07-27T00:40:00.444-04:00Can't wait to read this one...love Leonard sax... Can't wait to read this one...love Leonard sax. It's a breath of fresh air to know one is not alone is this thinking. Thank you for sharing some of it! Rachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16606119154674869603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-68220351918212516902016-07-27T00:27:03.850-04:002016-07-27T00:27:03.850-04:00I'm actually halfway through this book right n...I'm actually halfway through this book right now thanks to your mention of it in another post you wrote awhile back. Really enjoying it!The Durhamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04293521808971869632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-89130272796339358652016-07-26T20:36:16.851-04:002016-07-26T20:36:16.851-04:00Reading this book right now also....every parent s...Reading this book right now also....every parent should read it.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07218689371933453392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-77323640893311562012016-07-26T16:50:05.847-04:002016-07-26T16:50:05.847-04:00I'm significantly older than you (my fourth of...I'm significantly older than you (my fourth of 4 children is 31), BUT this sounds like it ought to be required reading before anyone has kids. <br />I do work now (ready to retire & enjoy grandkids) but I didn't work outside the home when they were growing up. SOMEONE has to be the full-time parent - & that's why families are getting smaller and smaller.<br />Working at a university, I also see how public schools & parenting failures are failing our children - they get a 32 on an ACT score but are completely unable to make decisions. No critical thinking skills.<br />I realize I sound like a geezer, but I do have some perspective, and I totally agree with you!L3https://www.blogger.com/profile/17165710951102780295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-23490249646996523792016-07-26T14:30:06.833-04:002016-07-26T14:30:06.833-04:00Ahhh so good! I put this book on hold at the libra...Ahhh so good! I put this book on hold at the library and never picked it up. I just re-requested it and am really looking forward to diving into it!Kelseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12626993580621297131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-42758627031432807372016-07-26T11:55:40.144-04:002016-07-26T11:55:40.144-04:00Thank you Sarah! I love visiting your blog and get...Thank you Sarah! I love visiting your blog and getting these great reminders and guidance on the important things, such a breath of fresh air!Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10528958511817963406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2331752969086770281.post-22369022810769010372016-07-26T11:13:28.212-04:002016-07-26T11:13:28.212-04:00thank you for summarizing the book so well! i only...thank you for summarizing the book so well! i only read it a month or so ago, but this was a good reminder. i'll be honest, it made me a little teary reading your post. it is all SO true! and SO important. stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11399191040892859634noreply@blogger.com