Last weekend Abbey's regatta was local and I decided to pack up Janey and head downtown to catch one of Abbey's races. It takes so much work and coordination to do this with a young nursing baby...to go anywhere really. I feel like I only have a "safe" hour or maybe 90 minutes before I have to be ready to be available for baby hunger. (And you know something? After nursing all these babies all these years I'm sort of done with nursing in cars, nursing in restrooms, nursing in football stadiums, nursing on soccer fields, at baseball diamonds, etc. I want to be comfortable and I don't want to be concerned about privacy.)
The minute Jeff and I pulled out of the driveway it started pouring. Once we were down by the river we found Abbey in the boat house and said hi, so she knew we were there, and then drove over to Jeff's office and had a beautiful view of the races. We were warm and dry (it was raining cats and dogs outside, those poor rowers!) and I could feed Janey peacefully when her tummy was ready.
I feel like more than ever I am having to establish priorities in my life. Sometimes that's hard to do. Yes, I do feel badly sometimes when I miss things-I want to be everywhere at once but that's impossible and I know when I've tried to be I end up utterly useless and exhausted. I don't want to participate in this society's faster than ever pace of life where I'm constantly throwing a baby in a car seat, both of us stressed, and racing here and there trying to be that "good mom" on the outside who does everything for everyone. I want to be thoughtful, calm and present, which is the opposite of harried, frantic and hyper.
Life as we all know it should stop a little and honor this brand new life that we have been so blessed with.