Last weekend Abbey's regatta was local and I decided to pack up Janey and head downtown to catch one of Abbey's races. It takes so much work and coordination to do this with a young nursing baby...to go anywhere really. I feel like I only have a "safe" hour or maybe 90 minutes before I have to be ready to be available for baby hunger. (And you know something? After nursing all these babies all these years I'm sort of done with nursing in cars, nursing in restrooms, nursing in football stadiums, nursing on soccer fields, at baseball diamonds, etc. I want to be comfortable and I don't want to be concerned about privacy.)
The minute Jeff and I pulled out of the driveway it started pouring. Once we were down by the river we found Abbey in the boat house and said hi, so she knew we were there, and then drove over to Jeff's office and had a beautiful view of the races. We were warm and dry (it was raining cats and dogs outside, those poor rowers!) and I could feed Janey peacefully when her tummy was ready.
I feel like more than ever I am having to establish priorities in my life. Sometimes that's hard to do. Yes, I do feel badly sometimes when I miss things-I want to be everywhere at once but that's impossible and I know when I've tried to be I end up utterly useless and exhausted. I don't want to participate in this society's faster than ever pace of life where I'm constantly throwing a baby in a car seat, both of us stressed, and racing here and there trying to be that "good mom" on the outside who does everything for everyone. I want to be thoughtful, calm and present, which is the opposite of harried, frantic and hyper.
Life as we all know it should stop a little and honor this brand new life that we have been so blessed with.
Posts
Yes, ma'am! You're absolutely right, Sarah. Tiny children benefit so much from having mommies right there, always available to do whatever they need. And older kids benefit from seeing that life doesn't revolve around them and their every desire. Big families are a blessing to everyone!
ReplyDeletethat last sentence! so powerful, so true.
ReplyDeleteAMEN a million times over!
ReplyDeleteWow! I love this post! You are right where you should be with your baby, enjoying her and slowing down. Its something I do too. You have better memories and can relax better, which is what your baby and family needs. You kids are going to learn so much from you by being this way too.
ReplyDeleteyour wisdom is priceless :) I love feeling organized and grounded, and in today's society, people are always pressured to rush, rush, rush. I agree with not spreading yourself too thin...and children do learn from our actions more than anything. Being present is so important! Thanks as always for sharing your outlook on life :)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more! I think all of us could benefit from taking the time to just "BE STILL".
ReplyDeleteYou are modeling good parenting in my opinion! I have one daughter who I home school. In the beginning because I was insecure and she was an only child we went to every event and field trip that our co-op had and some I made up on my own as well as endless play dates. I finally realized that that was insane! Now she knows she can't do it all and neither can I. Since we go less we actually are able to enjoy outings more. You amaze me!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI am a writer for SheKnows and I sent you an email about featuring your blog in an upcoming article. I'm hoping it didn't get sent to spam.
Could you email me at fourplusanangel@gmail.com?
Thank you!
I strive to be that mother, calm, thoughtful and present and with the years I have made progress but I still have a long way to go. Your blog is such a blessing in my life because in a way it allows me to "associate" with you. You know, there are days when I pray and I find the answers to my prayer in your very words, sometimes in old posts.
ReplyDeleteThe lessons you are learning raising teenagers bless my life and will bless it in the near future and this posts (and many, many more) has come to rescue me in my own parenting journey. I am sure there are hundreds of moms (and dads!) that feel the way I feel.
Thank you, Sarah. Thank you for taking the time to write things down.
Best,
Giulia
Oh, I love this. What better thing to slow down for than a sweet newborn baby. I read a quote recently that said, "You know what detracts from happiness? Rushing." Thanks for the reminder that slowing down brings contentment and joy. :)
ReplyDeleteI needed this today!!! Adding baby #4 has been a wonderful experience, but I'm suffering from "Mommy guilt!". Thanks for such a great post. I feel better already!
ReplyDeleteYou inspire me. If I knew you personally I would want to claim you as my mentor. I desire a big family but I'm scared of it. Weird, right? I hope I can overcome my fears and anxiety and realize the many blessings that come from a bigger family. You capture the joyous side of mothering a larger family. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are precisely the woman God intended to have many babies:) Well said and felt today.
ReplyDeleteI agree 100%. I have had to live this way more so since our 6th child entered our family and everyone else has had to adapt. I sometimes get a critical look or comment from my 'peers' when I say something to the effect of, "Well, I made my teenager walk home because I didn't have time to pick her up." My reason for not picking her up was that I was home, with my younger children, being present with them during that pivotal time of after school talks, snacks and homework.
ReplyDeleteMy older kids are learning to take care of things on their own, with my guidance and support. That's our job, to raise them to go out on their own.
Wow, rambling. sorry.
Beautiful post, Sarah.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that!
ReplyDeleteGiulia said it beautifully! I've done a pretty good job of slowing down and not being in attendance of everything . It's the guilt part that I have a hard time with. Thanks for your insight. I continue to learn so much from you:)
ReplyDeleteLoved the last two paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I really needed to hear this. I have been really struggling trying to be it all, and I just can't....at least not happily!
ReplyDeleteLove this! I agree wholeheartedly!
ReplyDeleteAMEN!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sarah. You are "right on" as usual. Love that you are taking it in stride and making your priorities the right ones. You only have one chance to get it right when young babies are involved.
ReplyDeleteThanks for putting things in perspective.
P.S. my 2 older kids were quoting ND today while dying laughing and I totally thought of you. I really need to sit down and watch that movie from start to finish!
Take care sweet friend,
AMy W.
Chicago
You are SO WISE, and I like the ownership you talked about, that's what being a grown up is about and so many parents don't allow it, then they wonder why their kids will never be on their own!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your wise insights, so needed today!
XOXO
Joni
I remember that 90 minute tether to home! I have six kids too, and it never got easier or less demanding.
ReplyDeleteI knew that if I cruised through Meijer without any extra pausing or stops I could make it to the checkouts without so much as a whimper.
Eliza is 10 months old now. We are still nursing, but now I buy her off with a few Gerber Yogurt bites and a handful of Cheerios when I have to ;o)
I'd have another in a heartbeat!
I couldn't agree more, Sarah. Life is just too hectic and as mothers, it's really easy to allow ourselves to be affected by it all if we're not careful. I just love your perspective and wisdom. It's nice to be reminded that it's okay to say no and that as women, we can take more ownership over our lives. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Sara! I have a question for you. I've read your post about painting your dining room furniture about a dozen times. My husband and I re-stained and poly-ed our kitchen table top last year but it's obvious we were not professionals and it's in need of some attention. I have been thinking of painting the table and chairs black but I want to ask...would you ever paint your kitchen table knowing the wear and tear it gets? I need to figure out what to do because my table top is starting to look pretty bad...tablecloth to the rescue until I have a solution. Thanks for your time and baby Janey is beautiful...congrats to your whole family!
ReplyDeleteI am a longtime lurker who just recently had my fourth baby, and boy did I need to read this today, as I scrambled around cleaning the house for a play date and blowing up balloons for a birthday party and planning the menu for ANOTHER birthday party and... blergh. I am always pulled in so many directions, and it's exhausting. Thank you for the excellent advise about slowing down and enjoying my own new little girl, even if I have to let some other things go.
ReplyDeleteBoy did I ever need to read this. I've been feeling like a complete louse for not being able to be at every single activity and event going on even though it isn't even remotely possible.
ReplyDeleteBy the way...just wondering if you've read Sawni's parents book called "The Entitlement Trap"? I ask because a lot of what you were saying sounds similar to what they've written in their book. I'd be happy to share a copy with you. If you are interested. It's realy great.
Beautiful post. To be able to put all that into words that even your teenagers will understand and be sleep deprived at the same time deserves kudos. Each of your children is blessed to have you and Jeff for parents.
ReplyDeleteGreat posts, Sarah. I'm taking your advice about where I will and won't nurse when our #6 arrives!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good mom. I wish I had your wisdom!
ReplyDeleteWow. Very powerful & touching. Gave me chills.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, Sarah, you remind me of the kind of mother I want to be for my children. I am still in need of work - to slow down, to not try to 'keep up with the Joneses', to be willing to say NO, but it seems like anytime I need a gentle reminder, you post something like this, and I am reminded of who I want to be for my kiddo(s). We have #2 on the way and are feeling incredibly blessed. THIS is what it's all about. Thank you and God bless YOU and your incredible family!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! AS "older" moms it is so easy to fall back into the rat race, trying to keep up with those twenty-somethings. We've just got to remember "been there, done that, won't do it again!" I am content to be home and mother. I have a beautiful home, why would I want to spend most of my time in my minivan?
ReplyDeleteyes- could not agree more.
ReplyDeleteGosh, rowing in the rain must not have been too much fun. My kids found out that babies are life changers, especially considering there is almost 10 yrs between each of my three. Yes, I agree with taking responsibility/ ownership. I have always taught them that the world doesn't revolve around them. I got lucky, especially with my middle. She is such a great help. Such a great girl.
ReplyDeleteI read your blog occasionally but I just had to comment on this post--right on! So, so wise. Thank you for your honesty and for speaking the truth, even when it's not popular! Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteLove this and could not agree more.
ReplyDelete