Pregnant Mom Love

I have no idea what came over me at the grocery store the other day.  I don't even feel like ice cream and haven't my whole pregnancy so this isn't any craving dealeo.  In fact when I do eat a little, it makes me feel awful, so I stay away.  But there are 10 Breyer's gallons in my freezer (coffee is the favorite flavor around here) and I'm the one that bought them.  They were on sale.  And I just kept manically throwing them into the cart, like this was the last call for ice cream for the rest of our lives.  

And I know what this is about.  I have been heading towards enormous sentimentality about Isaac leaving for college in 2 weeks.  He loves Double Stuffs...and so I bought him a package.  And then I bought him three more.

(the lunches only sign doesn't apply in the summer just so you know)

When the kids helped me unpack the groceries, I heard someone say, "Mom's gone crazy. I love pregnant-Mom."

Mom has gone a little crazy.  Not only is it the end of summer, but it's also that "feel like you are going crazy time" of pregnancy.  My emotions are all over the place with one coming into the nest and one leaving.  Half the time I am in a matter-of-fact, give me my lists, let's get these things rolling mood, and the other half of the time I find myself on the verge or in the midst of a very major weeping session for all the lasts.  The last time I'll be pregnant and feel a little person kicking my insides-it's a crazy awesome weird feeling isn't it?  The last time I'll give birth...that's a whole other post but I love every single thing about it...the drive to the hospital, the camaraderie I feel with Jeff, the smell of the hospital sheets, the incredible pain---yes! even that, the surprise, the post-birth high.

And then there is the anticipatory void of Isaac in the house-how will that feel?  How will we all respond to it? How will we walk across campus after leaving him there without looking like fools bawling our cry-baby heads off?

I feel pulled between a bevy of firsts and lasts, all hitting me at once.

Which results in gallons of ice cream and packages of Double Stuff apparently.  And a concerted effort on my part to soak up every emotion, every moment-the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, and take it, as much as I possibly can, all in stride.

A BIG P.S.: 99% of the time, no one living here would honestly make the statement "I love pregnant Mom", trust me.  Only when Oreos and icecream is involved.  I don't even love pregnant Mom. :)