Friday, July 27, 2012

Peace Be With You

Andrew asked me one day, in the car when I grabbed him for some one-on-one time for a trip to the car wash, how much time after Jeff and I got married did we have Isaac?  I said, "9 1/2 months!"  He said with big understanding eyes, "Wow, so you two only had 9 1/2 months of peacefulness in your house your whole lives?"


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Posted by Sarah

25 comments:

  1. Everything happens exactly as it needs to in God's grand plan, and boy, what a beautiful family you have to show for it!

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  2. That's how long I had too! I miss them all. It's about time we had our own family reunion....

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  3. Isn't it funny how God knows what we need, exactly when we need it? His timing is always perfect. When my husband and I got married, I thought we'd be married for a couple of years then settle down and pop out a couple of babies and be done before I was 30. Oh, surprise, surprise that it took 7 years to get preggo, plus fertility treatments that were NOT part of my plan, and I popped out a couple - at the same time : ) At the time, I thought it was just about the worst thing in the world. But I look back now and I see God's hand and timing in it all --- I think He knew we needed those 7+ years together to strengthen our bond to unbreakable given the things we were about to face. Thanks for always sharing so honestly about your family and your values in raising children. It's incredibly inspirational to this newish mommy of toddlers who reads way too many blogs that cause me to doubt myself as a parent (Ie: What? Your two year old can't count to 20, speak in full sentences, knows a foreign language and can tie their own shoes??? : )) Thank you for bringing me back to reality - that they need time to just be kids without society trying to grow them too quickly. (Ok, I am done commenting now - I've never commented before and I'm pretty sure I just made up for that : ) )

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  4. We had only about 5 months of being newlyweds before we became pregnant. So we had a year sans kids to get to know each other and me work full time. It was hard even then, since it wasn't in our "plan". Which just makes me laugh now. Now after six adventurous years of marriage two moves and three kiddos we are expecting twins by October. There is never a quiet moment here, but I wouldn't change any of it for something different. I love the crazy, beautiful, unpredictable life and look forward to our many more adventures.
    Congrats on your anniversary!

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  5. I actually believe that starting marriage and family young (like people have done all throughout time until the latest generations) is often the smartest way to do it. Like you mentioned...there's just less to give up. There isn't a big career sacrifice or "I'm so stuck in my ways, I can't compromise with my spouse" and what not. Sure, there's immaturity, but what's so wrong about growing up TOGETHER? And learning a little about life TOGETHER? Even throwing some children in the mix for more learning experience. If the couple went into marriage with the attitude that they could give up whenever it got hard, then sure, it's not a great situation, but back in the "old days" people were married with a determination that they would figure out a way to make it work...no matter what came up. Our society could use a big dose of that.

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  6. The thing is, is that there is no "best" time to get married and have children. There will always be "something" that makes you think you should wait until you have more money, no school, no school loans, etc, etc, but honestly, when do you feel like there is a perfect time? Seems as though there is always something.

    I was married when I had only been 22 for 3 days. There isn't a secret age that makes it "okay" to get married, I believe it is all based on the maturity of the two people that are entering into that union with one another. On top of that, I was married when I was serving in the United States Navy and going to school full-time- then, 9.5 months later I too had our first child. So I was in the Navy, going to school full-time, and caring for a newborn all at the same time....

    Every situation, every circumstance is handled in the best way based on the maturity of the person. I'm so glad that I was able to "grow up" with my best friend/husband. Mile-markers feel so much better achieved if you have someone special to celebrate them with you. :-)

    I guess there is no one right way but I do think it is a bit silly when people are constantly waiting for the "right" time to get married. If you want to get married and you love the other person- that IS the best time to get married, and that's all you need.

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  7. Intense for sure. It made you both strong to handle all that life can send your way.

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  8. Such an open post! It makes me feel like I know you.

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  9. hi sarah.
    i was thinking about you and that baby this morning.
    i see it's still cooking. :)
    i agree with your post completely.
    not the way i would advise others but it worked out beautifully for me too!
    it was nice get caught up with you today. big hugs for baby day!

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  10. Happy almost anniversary! I started out the same way you did, worked/engaged for a year after college. Got prego w/my 1st 9 months later....wouldn't change a thing for the world. PS-Yesterday's watermelon lesson was classic! So funny!

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  11. We kind of "jumped in" too, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Sure, some of it was scary, but when is getting married and having kids not going to be a little bit scary?

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  12. I was inspired to pray for you this morning--must've been yesterday's belly shot ;)

    Early congratulations to you both on your upcoming anniversary!

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  13. I know! I always love hearing your stories and your reflections. Thank you for being so open and sharing with us.

    I have a question for you and would love to hear your thoughts. And maybe you have written about this before but I have missed it. What are your thoughts on starting children in Kindergarten at a later age? I held my oldest daughter until she was 6 and it was a great experience! Now I have my 5 year old daughter (turned 5 in late May) registered for kindergarten but also preschool 5 days a week. My gut has been telling me to keep her in preschool another year but financially it would be easier to go ahead and send her-since we will also have our almost 4 year old daughter in preschool as well. These long days of Summer have made me second guess my decision on keeping her in preschool. Any thoughts on this? She's extremely shy at school and around people she doesn't know but a total show-boat and my wild one at home.
    Anyone else have thoughts?
    Thanks!
    Jayne

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    1. i have four children: twin daughters that are 22, a daughter that is 16, and a son that is 8. they all have October/November birthdays and they could've all started kindergarten when they were 4, but i made the decision to keep them all home one more year. I've never regretted by decision and have always said I'd rather make the wrong decision to not send than have sent them as 4 year olds and and regret it.

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    2. haha oops my not by and only one and!

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  14. I did it that way too. Worked as a nurse for a year and a half before we were married. Got married, and then pregnant in less than 4 months. We had our first baby about 10 days after our first wedding anniversary. I was 20 years old!!! I do look back and see what a whirlwind it all was, but like you, I wouldn't change a thing. It does feel weird to have an 11 year old (pre-teen) and only be 31...some days I feel very ill-equipped to deal with the years coming up so soon.

    To everything there is a season. I do love the season I am in, despite its lack of quiet and "peace". One day the quiet will seem so deafening. :-)

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  15. Beautiful post! My advice to newlyweds would be "leave it in God's hands". The worst thing you can do for a marriage is use contraception! Do yourself a favor- learn about the beauty of Natural Family Planning, or "naked sex"......it is 100% organic. And allowing God into to equation never disappoints. His plans for us are beautiful beyond our wildest imaginings.

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  16. Hey Sarah!

    We were married for 7 years before Wynn was born. Some of the years were planned as "childless" (I was in law school, etc.) but then we did try for him a long time too. We were definitely ready for the next chapter. I wonder if it's better to either have kids pretty much right away or after 7 years (lol), seems like if you had kids after 2 years of marriage you might just be getting used to a child-free lifestyle and not yet "bored" of it?? thankfully God knows best and His timing is perfect. Great post!

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  18. Our baby arrived 10 months after our wedding. He is 22 months now and I would not change it for the world. he is by far the very best "wedding present" my husband and i could have asked for.

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  19. Loved your post! Congratulations on your anniversary coming up! My husband and I were married YOUNG!! I was 19 and he was 20. We had all kinds of plans - we were both serving in the military and "planning" to wait a few years, etc. Well that turned into our first born being due on our 1st anniversary, then it turned out that it was actually TWINS due on our 1st anniversary! Our beautiful girls were born a month early and we started with a bang! Nothing has let up since! God's plan for us was pretty similar to yours, except for not as many children!! We are going to celebrate 23 years of marriage in November and we just celebrated one of our Twin daughter's own marriage on the 1st of July. Just 2 short months after they graduated college. They too have "plans" of waiting a couple years as she is heading to grad school next month - it will be so fun to see what God's plan for them is!!!!!!

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  20. Sarah,

    It's funny you posted this because my spiritual advisor was just saying how beautiful it is to marry young so you can be open to a large family if that's what God calls you too. You are so blessed to have done that. I'm 25 and working on a masters in a field that I love, but I really wonder about the future. I hope even though I am starting later I will be able to be there for my children the way that you are. I guess we all have different paths, but its the destination (heaven) that is most important. Anyway, your life and family are so beautiful. Thank you for sharing them through the blog.

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  21. My husband and I married when I was just 21 and still in college. We lived rent-free in a single-wide trailer may parents owned. It was perfect at the time. We chose to wait 5 years before having kids and we did and then we bought a house and it was just "time." A year later we had our son and we always say to each other that if we had known how awesome parenthood and our son would be we would not have waited that long. But in reality it's like many others have said, God has perfect timing.

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  22. You know, honestly, I think that bunch of advice about getting your own career and being married for a while before kids, etc, etc is just a bunch of nonsense anyway. I think all kids need the heat of real adult life to grow up and for their marriages to grow together. People spend too much time dawdling in self-fulfillment and they are so much more selfish. I think that's why lots of marriages end. I think kids need to grow up and get married and have kids fairly quickly (even if they are still in school) so that they can have the growing up experiences, the heat and the stress and the fire they need to become refined, giving, selfless people. Prepare to be single for a while by going to school and reaching for a career, sure... you never know how long it will take you to find that special someone. But focus your whole young single life on your own self-fulfillment and on playing at adulthood and you won't have the real skills you need to become a good spouse and a good parent and to deal with all the real life things that come with marriage and family. I think the way you did it was perfect and sometimes I wish more people did it a little closer to the way you did. We'd have a much better society to show for it, I think.

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  23. I loved Book Thief -- one of the best books I've ever read.

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