This Christmas I feel more at peace than ever with how we celebrate this beautiful season. I think I just let it all go-I stopped comparing this way or that way-we mothers all "put on" Christmas different and there are great ideas, but I'm OK with our way too...in fact, I love it. I know that I like to keep our house simple it makes December much more enjoyable. That's not to say that I don't get stressed. I do! Every year I get stressed out right around November and I have to give myself a good talking to.
I think some of what we are bombarded with is ridiculous-I read how stressful this time of year is and then I feel stressed, I read about how the real meaning of Christmas is lost and I panic about the message I am sending, I read that I should be doing this charity work, or this service project and I feel guilty for not adding one more thing to our list, I see others giving elaborate gifts to teachers and the postman, and I feel like I must keep up.
But I want to enjoy this time. I want to remember the days of past when Christmas wasn't all about going, going, going, buying, buying, buying, but really about enjoying family time. I think that one day my kids will be gone, out of the house, and Jeff and I will be staring at each other wishing we had wrapping paper hitting us in our faces from all the hoopla going about around us at six in the morning on Christmas Day. I want to soak up and enjoy what I have now-every minute of it.
So here are some specific topics I've been asked about:
(One year Santa and Mrs. Claus brought me baby Patrick four days before Christmas...I got exactly what I asked for and it was the best Christmas ever that year!)
Sweet Santa is awesome and we believe forever. That means that if one of my children or grandchildren -or heck anyone- comes to me at anytime for the rest of my life and asks me if there really is a Santa the answer will be yes...and I mean forever. I love the magic, the imagination, the wonder. I love the symbolism and I gosh darn love the fact that someone might be listening for jingle bells at midnight, just like I tried too once-tossing and turning and feeling like I would burst. I want the same for my children. Yes, every child has come home from school and said to me, "But so and so said his mom told him...." And I say something like, "I know Santa is real, I swear I heard jingle bells once and so did Grammy, and once when Dad was little..." And we change the subject and concentrate on what we believe in our house.
The Gifts. I have no particular system for gift giving when it comes to the children. I know that there are some cool ideas out there to keep things simple but I feel ok with the way we do it here. It is a blend of both of our traditions growing up. The kids send a letter to Santa with three ideas, and then he might take those into consideration (I absolutely encourage kids not to waste their three suggestions on things I know Santa won't bring us because he knows our rules) and he also brings lots of little surprises.
On Things You Don't Want To Do-
I am sometimes my own worst enemy, but I try to keep things simple: I try one or two new recipes, maybe one new craft or decorating idea, we do a very simple act of charity (we pick a child from the Angel Tree and of course there are always collections at school), and maybe one fun family activity. I give very simple teacher gifts (Bath and Body Works lotion or soap) and I sometimes make cookies or caramel corn for a few special friends or neighbors.
I try to keep in my mind the way I want the spirit of my home to feel at Christmas-time. That is what our memories of Christmas are really about, aren't they? Then make the changes so that can happen. I don't remember my mom stressed, worried, frantic, running around like a chicken with her head cut off, snappy and impatient. So I made changes-what did I think is important? What did I like to do? I try to make plans to get some of the harder stuff (gifts, cards) done way before the season begins so I can get rid of all that obligation and do my best to be more relaxed.
Doing It All- How can you find that balance when everything OUT THERE is unbalanced? Don't go out there too much. Really. I try really hard to keep my home a little haven away from all that crazy hoopla. My kids are almost never in stores. I shop online and go out without the kids if I have to go out at all. I toss the magazines that come like crazy at this time of year before anyone sees them (except a few for the kids to page through that have more cool stuff and less junk.) The simpler I keep it all, the more I know I bring the real meaning in, and have less chance of missing the moments I want to remember forever.
This does NOT mean that I am never frazzled, sometimes annoyed, or spend days feel overwhelmed! I do for sure!
Good wisdom. Love encouragement to keep it simple instead of do more. Thanks
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog for a few months and I just love it! I am a mom to 4 young kids and at times life just gets crazy. Thanks for the reminder to have this time of year be one that we'll all remember and cherish. I needed this. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAs a fairly new mom it's hard not to get caught up in what everyone else is doing because so many experiences are new- thanks for giving me the confidence to do things my own way. Also, the picture of Patrick on your sidebar playing with that old Fisher Price schoolhouse brings back a lot of memories- I wish they still made toys like that (I'm the youngest of four and none of the hand-me-down toys from my childhood made to me- boo hoo).
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Hey you need to fix the date on your photo heading. You have December 2012. Don't rush your year away! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Dawn-what was I thinking?
ReplyDeleteSarah THANK YOU thank you thank you!!!!! This is exactly how I feel and I am so glad to know there is another mother out there who feels the same! Santa will always exist in our home just as he did in mine growing up! I think we are somehow long lost sisters! I feel the exact same about making my home a comfortable haven for my family during this blessed season!
ReplyDeleteThis post was perfect! I love everything you said and agree with you on all counts. Thank you for helping me remember what's important!
ReplyDeleteThat photo of Santa and Mrs. Claus with Patrick is adorable! I love your thoughts on the magic of Christmas. We feel the same way here. I think the worst thing I ever heard was a friend saying that they say in their house "if you don't believe then you don't receive". Seriously. So when a kid starts questioning, then they are told this and if they keep question then they no longer receive a Santa gift. What garbage! Magic is important :)
ReplyDeleteI so agree with this post! Over Thanksgiving break I had a neighbor announce she finished putting up all 8 trees...EIGHT TREES? I had a pang of guilt for not going all out and then I remembered that I like our house at Christmas...it's calm and beautiful and the kids love it and I don't need 8 trees to make a beautiful holiday. Sometimes other people and their "traditions" can be overwhelming and it's so important to remember what's right for them isn't right for me. Merry Christmas...I love your sign over your sink!!
ReplyDeleteI love your Christmas approach. I have felt all of the things you mention - esp. the stress of focusing on the meaning of the season, etc. When you have kids involved in music you have about a 1,000 concerts in December! But then I decided to take it all in - to sit back and enjoy the music....the pace is not quite as hectic and I like to focus on the love and the fun of sharing gifts with the ones I love. My husband used to tell the kids they didn't have to get us anything. While I don't mind that, I have enjoyed watching the kids put some effort into giving gifts to each other the past few years. It's really a beautiful thing. I have no decorations up, no shopping done, I'm already bored with the radio music....so I plan to make it my family Christmas. Put up some decorations with the young kids. Wait for the college kids to buy our tree...and hopefully have a house filled with live music and my own collections...
ReplyDeleteWe are Santa and we exist. Period...for our home, but others' traditions don't rub me the wrong way either. I just don't like it when one way is 'right' for everyone. Love your perspective of not worrying about others' ideas/views. We all bring our own traditions, religious beliefs, etc. into our marriages and then try to create the best for our own family. Oh, and Saint Nicholas did exist which is where the whole tradition came from for most countries around the world...so Dec. 6th, his feast day, is an exciting time in this home!
ReplyDeleteHooray for the first days of the month because they mean new headers at Clover Lane! As always, you are a calm voice in the storm. I think absolutely, whatever it takes to make mom calm and not crazy. Because that will set the tone for everything else...I love it when you link to old posts~sparkly eyes was another favorite. Happy Dec 1! Rabbit.
ReplyDeleteTo make my holidays seem less stressful, I start in August, ( I always say that I am going to start earlier, but never do). I throw in a gift card at the supermarket with my order. Sometimes is just a $10 one or maybe a $25 one. I either use these as gifts or to shop with.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I start buying extra food during the holiday season before the mad rush starts. This way my fridge and freezer are totally full and I'm not in the supermarket with all the last minute people fighting the lines. I am glad I did this last year as in NJ we got hit with two blizzards back to back.
The holidays are what you decide to make it. It's a choice, it can be calm or chaotic. To me it's time to enjoy my peppermint mocha at starbucks!
One more thing! If I can't get a decent pic of all 4 of my kids (sometimes getting them all to smile and look the same way is impossible). I take my favorite pic of each one of them from the year and make a collage in picasa. No stress!
ReplyDeleteI love the statement 'we all have choices'. Isn't that the truth with Christmas overload. No one makes us join in on anything.
ReplyDeletealso, one time my kids came in and said that our neighbor's kids told them Santa wasn't real because they saw their Santa gifts in their parent's closet. My husband quickly said, "Well, I believe in Santa. When some kids are on the naughty list, their parents have to buy presents for them because Santa won't!"
We are like you, Santa is for real forever!!!
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteHow do you juggle "disagreements" with the in-laws? Or are you one of the lucky few whose in-laws are awesome? Mine are okay until the holidays come around.......how can you agree to disagree yet still find a way to keep the peace? I know you probably can't respond publicly to this question but I'd love to hear your two cents on the topic, if you have time? :-)
aledom@sbcglobal.net
Goodness, I cannot thank you enough for this post. It was like a long cool drink of water for me-- thank you-- calm confidence, home as a haven-- YES!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sarah. I'm trying to stay calm this holiday, too. And so far, it's working.
ReplyDeleteBut it is only December 1st, right?
Such wisdom. As always, thank you for sharing what you've learned - hopefully it will speed up the process for me! I like particularly your advice to 'Don't go out there too much!' I feel that with its 'opportunities' to help decorate for the Christmas play, or cut out shapes for some school thing, or buy this, and eat that and you really should do this!!! Sure, I want to teach our children the value of service and we pick a couple of things to do throughout the year, but I think what my family and I need most of all is time at home together, especially during this special season. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you!!! This is wonderful inspiration! My thoughts are in the same place but I could never put words to them as beautifully as you did. I read your blog daily and appreciate the wisdom you share with the world! Love your writing style and look forward to many many more posts from Clover Lane!! :) Happy Holidays, wonderful Sarah!!
ReplyDeleteWell said!! I LOVE your Merry Christmas banner above your sink!!! Actually the whole thing looks cute! Down to the little glass frames on the window. Where did you get those?
ReplyDeleteLove this Sarah! It's all so true. I can't believe how crazy it feels to me and December just started!! The parties are fun but just too many. It's hard for me to know what to cut back on. Some we have to attend (Kenny's work stuff) and other I like to attend. I just hate that it all hits at once! I did vow to myself this year that I would keep my girls out of the stores! They each want one simple thing and I want to keep it that way. It's more fun to surprise them. :) Your home looks beautiful! And I am so impressed you have your December header up! You always have blog stuff so under control. Priorities, right!? ;)
ReplyDeleteSuch great thoughts, Sarah...thanks so much for sharing! And I agree with you wholeheartedly on the whole Santa Claus thing, I think we should let our kiddos believe in Santa as long as they can. The imagination and beauty of the Christmas season and Santa Claus is all part of the magic of childhood.
ReplyDeleteHappy Holidays to you and your family!
Thanks so much! Great thoughts! :)
ReplyDelete~ Ali
Here is a question I'd love the answer too! Do you buy each of the kid's an equal number of gifts? Do they get the same number of gifts from Santa? Do you spend close to the same amount on each of your kids?
ReplyDelete~ Ali
What a wonderful post! I think as I get older I realize I don't HAVE to do everything...... I guess with age comes wisdom.
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah, I just found your blog recently and I wanted to say THANK YOU for being so wonderful. I have been reading a lot of mom blogs for the past several years, and I find that I feel guilty reading so many of them - guilty for not homeschooling, guilty for not cooking everything from scratch, guilty for letting my kids believe in Santa, etc. (of course, the guilt is my own issue, not the fault of the bloggers directly). I have been poking around in your blog and it is SO encouraging, SO helpful, and SO welcoming. I feel encouraged to have the confidence to do things the way I think is best.
ReplyDeleteOn a different topic, I was intriguied by your 40 bags in 40 days last year during Lent. Will you be doing that again this year? I suppose if I decide to do it, I could follow your archives. :)
I just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog too... someone else mentioned that sometimes reading other mom blogs just makes them feel guilty, and it is true! Your blog makes me feel GOOD. My kids are still very little and I feel like I am getting just the best, most sound advice from a mom who has been there. I love your approach to life, the simplicity, and how it's okay to be simple. I just loved this post about Christmas and you worded it perfectly. Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your words. I have been so sad this year thinking it was the last year that my little girls who are 9 would believe in Santa Claus. Now I know I don't ever have to tell them anything about Santa. It is okay to always believe!!
ReplyDeleteGreat reminder! We need those every once in a while. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAMEN!
ReplyDeleteThat's all.
And thank you!
I love this. It is funny how guilt can hit you from all sides. I'm not doing enough for Christmas, and I'm doing too much. I love how you are letting it go and letting the Christmas spirit reign.
ReplyDeleteI loved stumbling on your blog today.... from pinterest of all places :). I found that I couldn't leave. Loved the story about the buying the new house. My husband threatens to do that all the time. Especially liked the toy organization and laundry room design posts and cried and nodded to myself through this post http://www.memoriesoncloverlane.com/2011/11/calendar-journals-and-life-lessons.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+CloverLane+%28Clover+Lane%29.
ReplyDeleteWe're getting ready to send our oldest of 5 off to high school after 9 years of homeschooling - still have an 18 month old and a part of me would love to have my three little babies again. Thanks for the wise words. It's a good idea for moms to blog who've been a mom more than 2 years. :) Nice to meet you.
We are doing Christmas a little different this year. Instead of the adults giving gifts we are giving memories. We are each picking something fun to do together and create a memory. I already feel the weight of Christmas to dos lifted off my chest! Thanks for your ideas!
ReplyDeleteYou talk about your rules for gifts. "Santa knows our rules". What are those exactly? No electronics, nothing over a certain price limit? Could you please expound more on that.
ReplyDeleteI had a "grinch" of a day at school, and went to buy a wreath after reading this. First time I have ever decorated. I think I need to decorate for the holidays more often!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this wonderful post! I love your simplistic style and reminders to us all about what is REALLY important at Christimas time, and in life. Keep doing what your doing...I love it!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you write your truth. We handle it kind of like you. Though I have to admit I was PISSED when my 2nd grader told me that some kid in her class told her there was no Santa Claus. 2nd grade! Unbelievable. I believe that teaching my children about faith is a bit like teaching them about magic and make believe, that sometimes you need to Believe in that which you can not see.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering what your rules are as far as what you will and will not let your kids have?
ReplyDeleteI am trying to hard on this this season...simplify and notice those "sparkling eyes" (love that). Thanks for reminding me. I'm so grateful I get to call you my friend!
ReplyDeleteLove, Shawni