Thursday, September 23, 2010
I know what we are having for dinner tonight.
I know what my work is for the day.
My bathrooms are clean.
My closet is organized.
My best friend called.
I feel good.
When I was fixing lunch for myself and my little buddy, I gazed out the kitchen sink window, and thought, "Why can't every day be like this?"
And I'm trying to figure out why.
Why do I feel peaceful today vs. crabby on other days?
Why do I feel like I have the best life in the world vs. griping in my brain about how much I have to do and feeling like I will never get to it?
Sometimes I rush so much, or get behind in the work that needs to be done to make this house run smoothly, or get caught up in some project, that although it seems I'm living a full life, using my talents, doing, doing, doing, I'm instead not appreciating ANYTHING. Not living life fully at all. Not appreciating that a day with a walk, a library visit, and a little housework is enough. Wanting so much, or doing so much, that you end up not living at all, but just going through the motions.
Really that's it.
Ask any elderly person. Do you think they'd say, "I wish I would have accomplished more?" or do you think they'd say, "I wish I would have stopped and enjoyed the little moments."
If you live a life so full that you don't ever have time to stop and notice beauty, to stop and appreciate and think, "how beautiful", than you aren't living a life at all. A full life? A full life isn't full of things and people and events. Really living your life fully doesn't involved rushing and doing and accomplishing. It comes from having moments everyday where you are thankful to be on this God forsaken earth because it's wonderful. I know there are has been and always will be happy people in the most desperate circumstances in this world. That's all the proof I need.
It makes me so sad that I'd waste a day NOT feeling that.
A whole other part of achieving this peacefull "life is good" feeling every day though, for me at least, is using discipline.
Starting the day with an intention of how I want my inner self to look that day. Staying off the computer as much as possible, keeping up with my house, because the way MY brain works, when things get messy and disorganized, my heart and head does too. That's a curse I think, and maybe it's abnormal and it's all about control, but I've found it to be true and if I know it, that why don't I do it? When I take the time to get my butt outside, no matter what the weather, I always feel better. You can always see beauty outside everyday. My body craves it.
So if this is all true, then I and I alone, have the power to create a spectacular day every single day. It's not that hard of a "recipe" to follow. It's not asking too much, it's not about what's going on OUTSIDE of myself...it's about me knowing that I have the power to feel like this everyday, no matter what it brings, and as harsh as it sounds, knowing that I'm wasting the days away....those days that are flying by so fast anyways, by NOT living with the intention of feeling like this every day.